Quote:I thought I'd made that rather obvious. If not, oh well. It'll become clear in the near future.
I wonder what Largo told Anri.
Quote:I don't write Emotional Moments well. Consider that a professional cop-out. It's going to come up again in a while though.
Other than that I can't spot any errors, though the conversation between Sylvie and Priss is shrowded in mystery, and I'm not sure if it's intentional or not.
Quote:*eyebrowtwitch* That is just ... sad. Shame on you.
Bubblegum Advocatus Custodes Hell's Fury by Knight-Hawk Jr.
Quote:*deadpan* Which is why I'm not doing it. */deadpan*
I think this was the approach used by a number of (self-insertion) writers.
Honestly, the beginning chapters, setup, what you will, would really be terribly boring. If you hadn't noticed, he spends most of his time in a freaking _garage_, or equivalent area. That makes for a boring story, at this point at least, which is where the other characters are called upon to pick up the slack.
Besides, more than one egg's needed to make a royal SNAFU, and from what I've read it's almost always more amusing to have a look at the whole basket before that happens.
-Griever
When tact is required, use brute force. When force is required, use greater force.
When the greatest force is required, use your head. Surprise is everything. - The Book of Cataclysm