A lost little bunny finds a home...

[Black Aeronaut]

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I suggest actually reading the lines out loud, and seeing how they sound to you.
No, I don't say that to be condescending or anything, I actually mean it. I do that from time to time... Often, there's stuff like...repeated words, or long words, that just sound odd and awkward when you actually speak 'em. Or turns of phrase that look great on paper, but are a bit funny when read. And because the scene's supposed to be a spoken conversation...

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Oh, I understand. In fact, I do it every now and then, except it would get on the roomies' nerves from time to time. ^_^;;
Ah well, now that I'm by myself again...
EDIT: Okay, I've given it another coat of editorial spit-and-polish. Want me to just repost it here or should I email it to the both of you?

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Black Aeronaut Technologies Group, LLC
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"To the commissary we should go," Yoda declared firmly. "News
of this kind a danish requires."

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