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My first fanfic posted...

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My first fanfic posted...
Bob Schroeck Offline
Chief Screwball and Head Loon Wrangler
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Posts: 28,138
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Re: My first fanfic posted...
#4
01-03-2006, 10:24 PM
Agreed. You need to smooth out the narrative a bit. You also really need more material for us to make an informed judgment on the story you're telling.

-- Bob
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For Jor-El so loved the Earth, he sent his only begotten son...
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Messages In This Thread
My first fanfic posted... - by Balentius - 01-03-2006, 05:16 PM
Re: My first fanfic posted... - by Kokuten - 01-03-2006, 07:48 PM
Re: My first fanfic posted... - by Florin - 01-03-2006, 10:21 PM
Re: My first fanfic posted... - by Bob Schroeck - 01-03-2006, 10:24 PM
Re: My first fanfic posted... - by Balentius - 01-04-2006, 05:54 PM

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