Quote:The problem with this - and it's a good idea, in general - is that the scene is written basically from Hinata's viewpoint, and I'm not quite sure how to overhaul it out of the close third-person. Just commenting on it out loud wouldn't be in character for him, I think, which makes for a bit of a pickle.
Ahem, anyways, references to oversized aliens aside, the Hinata-Neji interaction was interesting, though yeah, the fight was kinda short ... no idea on how to help with that, though - I do drag-on-brawls, not martial arts duels ... though you might try to put in something about how Neji's feeling during the fight. More specifically, a few sentences about being caught off-guard by how much Hinata had improved would be appreciate. It'd make the fight a bit longer.
Quote:I think that that's what -any- fight where at least one of the participants knows his ass from his elbow should look like, and most of the fights in TGNH will reflect that.
OTOH, short fight, minimal number of blows traded for maximum effect ... isn't that what a fight between two nins _should_ look like (at least, if Naruto, as a show, wasn't so centered around the fights).
Ja, -n
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."