ROTFL: Can has Cheeseburger?

[Black Aeronaut]

"Pen Pen?" Asuka asks, "Come here."

The penguin peaks his head out of the freezer, warily staring at Mana and the
DDR machine with the prominent hole in the screen, taking a wide berth around
her before hopping onto the couch next to Asuka.

"What's that?" Mana asks, face still red.

"Pet project," she says, "It's an extension of how we c-can turn mental
signals from Zwei into w-words. I figured we could do the same to Pen-Pen."

Closing the back of the collar with the words 'Pen 2' on it, she removes Pen
Pen's collar, placing the new one around his neck. Humming to herself, she
clicks on her PDA, clicking a button on it and an orange outline of itself
appearing around it, the lights on the collar beginning to glow and outlining
the name in neon.

"Borrowed this from our v-visitor," Asuka says, "Okay. Pen Pen, how do you
feel?"

The penguin stares at Mana for a moment, raising a bushy eyebrow before
turning back to Asuka. He opens his beak, making a careful, measured warbling
sound, before scratching himself behind the head with his claws.

"Wa-I feel fine, dOOd!"

Glancing from side to side, the Penguin narrows his eyes.

"Wa-Okay, that's messed up, dOOd."

"Thanks for making dinner, by the way," he says, "I'm feeling a little
better. At least, not as sick. The antibiotics are working, I guess."

"Good. Hm. Would you be offended if I wanted to leave to spy on Nagisa and
Rei?"

He shrugs.

"No," he says, "I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you're planning
on doing that. Mom would be upset if you left because, well, since I'm in a cast
I need someone to help me around. I'm guessing you planned on that?"

"Very perceptive," Kei responds, walking over and standing between him and
the television, "A liberal interpretation says that if you are unconscious, I do
not need to care for you."

He stares at her. Sighing, he shrugs.

"Drugs?"

"Ambien. Four tablets. Mother uses them. I mixed them into the miso."

"Yep," Shinji sighs, "You really remind me of Mom."

"Asuka," Mana says, walking over and standing in front of her, "Misato just
left us alone, to our own devices. We're alone, we could watch TV or shit, but
in all honesty this is an opportunity. Because you can be the most uptight girl
I've ever met."

Asuka glares at her, raising an eyebrow.

"And I mean that in a good way," Mana says, "But as your friend, it is my
solemn and dutiful responsibility to help you get out of that shell. And by
that, I mean get you fucking hammered."

Several blocks away, at a five star restaurant overlooking the Tokyo-3 bay,
Gendo Ikari looks across the table to his wife as the waiter takes the menus,
bowing respectfully to the both of them before retreating to the kitchen. Yui
checks her PDA once again, Gendo sighing and placing his hand over hers.

"We agreed," he says, "No work, tonight."

She sighs, nodding.

"I know," she responds, "Pieter knows what he's doing. I worry, is all."

"It's one of your best traits," he responds with a rare smile, "But still, he
is right. You haven't taken any time off in thirteen years. We can trust
everyone else to fight the war for us for a week."

She smiles back as his other hand clasps over hers. Out of the corner of his
eye, he sees something, looking over her shoulder to the view of the city
and...

Of Kei, trekking across one of the rooftops behind them, a rocket launcher
slung over her should and a machete in her hand. She looks from side to side
before dropping into an alley and disappearing.

"What is it?" Yui asks.

"Nothing," he responds, as the waiter comes by again, "Wine list. Please."

"Okay," he says, and groans, "I'm hopped up on antibiotics and sedative. It's
dark out, we've got an Angel in the city, a full tank of LCL..."

He flicks his wrist, a pair of amber lenses picked up from the end table in
his hand, dropped from a miniscule black portal.

"And I'm wearing sunglasses."

He slides them on. A grin crosses his slightly green features.

"Let's ride."

That last one's going to be all the more epic if Asuka thinks Shinji looks sexy wearing his Dad's sunglasses!  *ROTFLMAO*