At the very least add in a chapter end glossary. The real problem is that you have a group of people who all speak Japanese, most of which have it as a native language. Writing ethics wise it is best to only use foreign languages when your trying to portray an outsider looking in. For instance, one that can't keep up with the conversation and is loosing every other word... at that point it makes perfect sense to have an amalgam of English and Japanese. Though the sentence structure should reflect the confused's view point. From what little I know of Japanese the sentence structure is predicate ending in subject. In English its subject, then predicate. Typically anyway.
So if your killed mid-sentence, while speaking Japanese, your going to explain the relevance of the sentence, then get cut off before your have the reveal on who it is about. So you now know the horrible secret (or at least part of it), but not who's secret it is. This means anyone is a suspect... though sex specific language will cut off half the population. If your offed in the same way while speaking English, your going to know who the secret is about and get a clue on the secret, but have half a picture of what the secret actually is.
That isn't true here. People are speaking Common (Japanese due to location), then suddenly the words switch language... but only for the reader. So, its utterly nonsensical that the language switches... this is made worse by the same chapter containing common lines whenever Zeke or someone else is actually speaking random English. In other words, your slipping into fanboy Japanese and not realizing/acknowledging it. This will get you hate reviews.
Not that I really blaim them much. You are randomly using 'nani' and 'what'. This is inconsistant in chapter. Pick one and stick with it. The there is the use of "Nandaiyo" which you describe as an exclamatory that is basically translated into English as 'Smurf'. Yes, 'Smurf'. Your randomly writing in 'Smurf'. Maybe Pokemon... this is okay when your able to hear the voice acting... the meaning tends to bypass laguage barriers. Yes, you are writing that into the text...
The thing is the way your using it, needs a lead in explinattion. You need to define it in the disclaimer notes at the beginning or its just 'Woooo!!! I know random Japanesy type word! Woooo!!!! I am your god! Worship me!!!" fanboy elitist moment for many readers and consequently a major turn off. Most will write off curse words in a foreign language as getting crap past the sensors. If you were using that word as something a character didn't know and say, had them start yelling at people to stop using it or at have the common courtesy to stop being a frelling shizno and explain what in the name of Smegstar the Mighty it means. Here every single one of the character's fully understands the word and its meaning and there is no reason it shouldn't be auto-translated in the character's heads.
Not that I'm this annoyed with it really... but I've seen people leave reviews, in force, on this specific topic that give writers Skysaber level creative breakdowns and withdraw from writing.
So if your killed mid-sentence, while speaking Japanese, your going to explain the relevance of the sentence, then get cut off before your have the reveal on who it is about. So you now know the horrible secret (or at least part of it), but not who's secret it is. This means anyone is a suspect... though sex specific language will cut off half the population. If your offed in the same way while speaking English, your going to know who the secret is about and get a clue on the secret, but have half a picture of what the secret actually is.
That isn't true here. People are speaking Common (Japanese due to location), then suddenly the words switch language... but only for the reader. So, its utterly nonsensical that the language switches... this is made worse by the same chapter containing common lines whenever Zeke or someone else is actually speaking random English. In other words, your slipping into fanboy Japanese and not realizing/acknowledging it. This will get you hate reviews.
Not that I really blaim them much. You are randomly using 'nani' and 'what'. This is inconsistant in chapter. Pick one and stick with it. The there is the use of "Nandaiyo" which you describe as an exclamatory that is basically translated into English as 'Smurf'. Yes, 'Smurf'. Your randomly writing in 'Smurf'. Maybe Pokemon... this is okay when your able to hear the voice acting... the meaning tends to bypass laguage barriers. Yes, you are writing that into the text...
The thing is the way your using it, needs a lead in explinattion. You need to define it in the disclaimer notes at the beginning or its just 'Woooo!!! I know random Japanesy type word! Woooo!!!! I am your god! Worship me!!!" fanboy elitist moment for many readers and consequently a major turn off. Most will write off curse words in a foreign language as getting crap past the sensors. If you were using that word as something a character didn't know and say, had them start yelling at people to stop using it or at have the common courtesy to stop being a frelling shizno and explain what in the name of Smegstar the Mighty it means. Here every single one of the character's fully understands the word and its meaning and there is no reason it shouldn't be auto-translated in the character's heads.
Not that I'm this annoyed with it really... but I've seen people leave reviews, in force, on this specific topic that give writers Skysaber level creative breakdowns and withdraw from writing.