Quote:"-and after the city returned to its standard configuration, NERV
released a single video for Internet release. According to the UN, this
is not the official report submitted to the Security
Council, but is rather something released for the public in general. Cue
the tape."
The screen darkened. When it came back, Shinji nearly collapsed from shock. "Uh... buh... wha?"
His
father was in front of a running shower, wearing only a gray towel
around his waist... and, of course, his orange shades. Most people would
have been impressed by the lean yet muscular physique, but Shinji was
too busy wondering what in the world is father was doing!
And then, heaven help him, his father spoke.
"Hello ladies. Look at your man. Now look at me. Now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me. But if your man quit his job to sign up with NERV, then he too could be a part of the organization that just saved the world. Look down."
Gendo looked down, right as the scenery fell away to reveal the Tokyo-3
skyline. Simultaneously, his cloak slammed into him from off-screen;
when it flared open, it was tied around his neck, and he was clad in his
normal uniform (which included pants, thank goodness). "Back up. Where are you?" The wind blew, and the towel went flying away. "You're on top of one of Tokyo-3's defense platforms, with the man YOUR man could be working for. Look at your hand." He reached into his cloak. "Back at me." He withdrew his hand, holding a Desert Eagle pistol. "I have it. It's a one-to-one scale variant of the handgun that was used to kill the Angel." He tossed the handgun up. "Look again." A handheld PDA of sorts landed in his hand. "The handgun is now a VIDEO MONTAGE."
Gendo
pressed the PDA's screen against the camera lens. Select footage from
Unit-01's battle with the Third Angel played; in particular, the clips
used were of Unit-01's initial uppercut that sent the Angel flying, the
Evangelion's thrust kick that freed it from Sachiel's clutches, the
firing of the Mark II handgun against the core, and the final punch that
finally cracked the Angel's core. Accompanying this montage was a
screaming death metal tune; as the guitars growled and the drums
pounded, red text blinked on and off, saying 'DISCLAIMER: YEAAAAAAAAAH!'.
Just
as suddenly as it had begun, the PDA was pulled away, revealing Gendo
Ikari once more. His cloak was fluttering in the wind, and the sound of
an engine could be heard. "Join NERV today, and not only would you be working for the organization that just saved the world, but I would be your boss. And really, isn't that what everyone wants?" The camera panned back, revealing that Gendo was in fact standing on top of Misato's motorcycle. In motion.
Despite the speed, he was utterly implacable, not even budging or
tilting. The windswept purple hair indicated that Lieutenant Colonel
Katsuragi was, in fact, the driver. "I'm standing on top of a motorcycle being driven by a hot woman."
The camera stopped moving, still following the motorcycle as it sped
off into the distance. The logo of NERV – a bisected leaf of red with
the word NERV underneath, complete with a small caption that read 'SAVING THE WORLD FROM ALL WHO THREATEN IT' – appeared, accompanied by a whistling jingle.
From Mobile Fighter Evangelion, chapter 4.
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.