I Can Has ROFL Nyao? Or, The ROTFLMAO of the Catgirl

[classicdrogn]

From http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7624204/1/Dichotomy]Dichotomym a Naruto/Bleach cross:

There were dozens of them, standing before Haku's body. Gatou's foot nudged the girl's lifeless body, making a sickening squelch with her tender flesh.

A sneer twisted the madman's face and turned him into a veritable demon before their eyes. "And lookie here boys! Too bad I didn't get a chance to do it myself!" he laughed heartily, blind to the rage rising in Naruto's chest. Something primal chanted echoless in his chest, beating like a drum, chorus in another language that he could not-did not wish to discern. His eyes widened madly.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH HER!"

"Kill them. They do not deserve mercy."

His heartbeat pulsed again, in tune with undulations of his chakra.

Burning, like rage, a chasm of fury and terror.

Red chakra flowed off his body, revealing the seal on his stomach. He roared. The sound blasted apart the winds, an inhuman bellow wrenching the very cold from the air and replacing it with unmitigated, unerring terror. Uzumaki Naruto was a tempest, a storm of black wind sweeping into the skies and creating a hurricane of biblical, sovereign proportions.

Sounds clamored together into a cacophony of discordant shrieks and wails. Deafening, Naruto raised his right arm, curling his fingers into a claw. One of the men exploded in a shower of bone and blood, his ribcage blasted outward and his body cleaved from stem to stern.

Red and black covered the bridge and exploded skyward, heating the very air and scorching the heavens. When Kakashi looked back at his errant student, both his eyes went wide at the boy's gaze. Guilt ridden and struck with fear, he could only gape.

Naruto's eyes had changed. Black covered his sclera, his irises going white and his pupils red. A mad smile revealed the darkness within his mouth. One could nearly hear it, bear witness to the birth of something terrible and older than time. Black mist swirled, red chakra crackled and snapped like lightning, a ring of red and black formed into a disk around Naruto's body.

The very air detonated into ash, embers of flame borne of the fathomles pits of hell. An odorous stench of sulfur rose into the atmosphere, choking the oxygen out of the air.

Discarded weaponry littering the ground rattled loudly, twitching as though alive.

The steel girders of the bridge groaned and bent, where chunks of stone and sand teetered on the edge and dropped to the sea below. Rhubarb broke the surface of the ground beneath, snapping upward and causing the bridge to lurch forward, throwing debris into the air.

I know, I know, it's a spellchecker barf for rebar. Even so we're chugging along at full melodramatic steam and suddenly... RHUBARB! Does that make it purple prose? Maybe sort of magenta...

- CD, RHUBARB!
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"Anko, what you do in your free time is your own choice. Use it wisely. And if you do not use it wisely, make sure you thoroughly enjoy whatever unwise thing you are doing." - HymnOfRagnorok as Orochimaru at SpaceBattles
woot Med. Eng., verb, 1st & 3rd pers. prsnt. sg. know, knows