I can say with certainty that it's a huge improvement over the original version my brother had me beta-read for him. If the curve on that improvement is anything to go by, then Saint should have things flowing more naturally in relatively little time... So long as he practices. 
EDIT: Ahh, so that's why you were so antsy about things like bold and italicized text making it through.. Heed CD's advice about the style key, Saint. Also, if you really want to tell about the SI's past, try doing it through little clues at first, then later through dialogue with other characters. Kinda like what I do with Garrick Grimm.
EDIT: Ahh, so that's why you were so antsy about things like bold and italicized text making it through.. Heed CD's advice about the style key, Saint. Also, if you really want to tell about the SI's past, try doing it through little clues at first, then later through dialogue with other characters. Kinda like what I do with Garrick Grimm.