By the time I had arrived, Usagi had gotten there already.
Usagi. Early.
Wonder of all wonders!
But once I got close the reason for her being there so early became clear. Mamorou had arrived early with Chibiusa, and Usagi had to be roused out of bed in order for Luna-P to work her mojo of modifying memories and adding the hard evidence such as photographs without Usagi getting caught in it as well.
Fortunately, it seemed to have gone off without a hitch, and Usagi’s mother was busy getting Chibiusa (with subtle help from Luna-P) enrolled into the nearby elementary school.
And right at that moment, Usagi and Minako were sharing pictures on their cell phones of the whole incident with Ami and Makoto.
“Neh, neh! Uncle Z!” teased Minako cheerfully.
I rolled my eyes and snorted at that. “Not your uncle, that’s for sure. Neh, Usagi? You talked to them about what we’ll be doing about our friends?”
Like a switch had been thrown, Usagi was suddenly all business.
“Right,” said Usagi with a firm nod of her head. “Girls? We’re going to be letting the rest of our regular lunch group in on our secret.”
“You mean...” said Makoto in surprise.
“That’s right,” confirmed Minako. “We’re going to tell them who we really are.”
“But how would they believe us?” wondered Makoto.
“That’s easy,” I said. “Just transform.”
“What about Rei?” asked Ami. “Does she know what we’re doing?”
“I already talked to her about it last night on the phone,” said Usagi. “She was really surprised, but once I explained everything, she was fine with it.”
“So when are we doing this?” asked Ami.
“After school, at the shrine.”
I then saw Haruna-sensei come through the door, and the time for idle chit chat was over.
##
Before Haruna left at the end of first period, she advised us that she needed to see the class reps in the faculty office during lunch break.
So, rather than join our friends on the roof, in what was starting to become known amongst the rest of the student body as ‘The Junior Student Council’, Naru and I promptly arrived at the faculty office.
To our surprise, Kaname and Kubiak were there as well.
“Hey guys. You know anything about all this?” I asked.
“Oh, Zee-kun!” said Kaname, greeting me with a smile. “Not a thing. Kubi-kun?”
Kubiak simply shrugged. Oddly enough, I think the fabric of space warped to give him room to do it.
And people call me weird.
Suddenly, the teacher for Class 1-M, Eri Kagurazaka, stuck her head out the door and smiled cheerfully upon seeing us all present.
“Oh wonderful! You’re all here already. Please, come inside.” And then she disappeared back into the staff room.
I looked to the others and shrugged. “Well, here we go.”
We went inside, and found a somewhat crowded space of open cubicles packed with binders, books, and paperwork. At a table at the end of the room, Haruna Sakurada and Eri Kagurazaka sat together and waved us all over.
“Hey everyone!” started Haruna-sensei. “I’m sorry to bother you all during lunch, but Kagurazaka-sensei and I felt it was best to let you all know as soon as possible.”
Kagurazaka-sensei nodded her head vigorously. “You see, our classes have been authorized to take a trip to Okinawa during winter break! It’s gonna be Christmas in Paradise!”
“HEEEE-EEEEEHHHHH!” we all cried out in excitement - myself included!
“Winter break in Okinawa!? That’s so COOL!” said Naru excitedly. “Oh, I wonder if I’ll get to make some Winter memories with a cute boy!”
“Hoi, hoi!” said Haruna-sensei with a glare. “The only ‘memories’ you’re thinking of had better be suitable for a family audience!” We all broke out into nervous laughter while poor Naru-chan positively radiated embarrassment.
I made a mental note to watch myself around Rei. The very idea of her in a swimsuit... the Senshi Seifukus were bad enough!
“At any rate, Miss Chidori?” said Kagurazakas-sensei.
“Yes?” answered the blue-haired girl.
“It shows in your student record that you were in charge of the class trip at your previous school last year. Do you feel up to helping Zee-kun out since it’s his first time?”
“Not a problem at all, Sensei,” said Kaname with a smile.
“Wonderful!” said Haruna happily. She then handed us both a sheaf of papers. “That’s all the information the two of you need to get started. If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask us. Now go on, then! You know what to do.”
##
“ARE YOU SERIOUS!?” boomed Usagi’s voice from the rooftop of Juuban Municipal High School.
Ami and Makoto pulled her back down to the rooftop before she could broadcast the rest of it to the entire neighborhood.
“Yes, dead serious,” I said with a sigh as everyone began to chatter animatedly. “Although if you girls can keep it to yourselves until study period, I’d greatly appreciate it.”
“There is a downside to all this,” said Kaname. “Everyone will need to pick a place of interest and write a report on it. This will essentially be our homework over the break.”
“Mooouuuuu,” groaned Usagi. “Whyyyyyyyy?”
“Because it would be a lot better than having to write it in English?” I hazarded. Usagi flopped backwards as she spasmed in horror at the very idea, causing the rest of us to laugh.
##
We all converged on the shrine, everyone talking animatedly with each other.
The Senshi, minus Rei, plus Chibiusa. (She had intercepted us while enroute.)
Naru, Kaname, Sousuke, The Koob...
And me.
Of course, we met Rei at the stairs to the shrine.
She looked us all over, made a double-take at Chibiusa, and just shook her head, no doubt shaming herself for even being surprised by that development - especially after being told about it over the phone.
However, things wound up getting derailed the moment we set foot inside.
There stood a man in the entry way, waiting for us.
He wore a priest’s robes - plain, yet immaculate.
He was tall - at nearly two meters the man practically dwarfed me.
He was ancient - wrinkles and age lines adorned his face, and his hair had turned to a color like roughly machined steel, lending the old Japanese man an air that radiated wizened authority.
Upon entering the study, I was immediately taken aback as the elderly man locked his violet eyes upon me.
Wait, violet?
“Hmmmm...” he said the ancient man thoughtfully as he studied us all. “What a lively collection of young people!” he then said jovially with a reedy, raspy voice. “I am sorry to intrude, but I need to speak with Rei-chan.”
“What is this about, sir?” asked Rei cautiously.
“Ooooh! Is that you, Rei-chan? I see you still have your mother’s beautiful eyes. Among other things.”
“Grandfather,” I said as I stepped forward. “I mean no disrespect, but please understand how it must feel to return to one’s home and find a stranger there that speaks of you in such a familiar tone.”
“Eh?” said the old man. “Rei-chan? Who is this young fellow?”
“I’m sorry, but he has the right of it, sir,” said Rei, who was now starting to become officially weirded out by the situation. “I don’t know who you are!”
“Oh!” exclaimed the old priest. “Is that so! I guess you wouldn’t remember then - the last time I saw you, you were barely a week old. You were so tiny then, but now you’ve grown into such a beautiful woman!”
The old man paused as he suddenly saw us beginning to draw back - some of us even adopting defensive postures.
“No no no!” cried out the old man. “Don’t be alarmed! I am her mother’s Grandfather! Katsuhito Masaki!”
“Great Grandfather?” said Rei in befuddlement, but then that quickly evaporated into anger. “Why didn’t you ever come when Mother was dying!?”
“Oh, Rei-chan,” said Katsuhito morosely. “I would have, but it was a very bad time. Your mother, Risa, was not the only one to fall ill in our family. At the same time, as fate would have it, my beautiful daughter, Kiyone, also passed away, leaving a widow and her young son behind.”
That immediately mollified Rei. “I am sorry, Great Grandfather. I had no idea.”
“It is in the past. What’s important is now. Rei-chan, I need to have a very important discussion with you in private.”
A private discussion? With Rei? Right away, a worst-case scenario of Rei being married off to some stranger flashed through my mind, so right away I stepped right up next to Rei and took her hand in mine.
“You may need to discuss it with both of us,” I said firmly.
“HEEEEEHHHHHHHH!?!?!” cried out all the girls behind us.
“ZEKE!” hissed Rei sharply at me as her face flushed, but she did not try to pull away from me.
But old man Katsuhito simply smiled. “I see... do you happen to be Ezekiel?”
“I am,” I replied guardedly.
“Ah, just as well then. You may come with us. You’re a rather important person as well, and if what I’ve heard about you is true, then you’ll be a good fit together. Especially if Rei-chan is anything like my little Risa.”
We all exchanged confused looks with each other and helpless shrugs. No other way but forward, then.
“You guys go ahead and get situated,” said Rei. “Zeke and I will be back with you as soon as possible.”
##
Once the shoji closed behind us, it was like Katsuhito had suddenly transformed. His posture straightened and the look in his eyes crystallized.
This was no age-enfeebled old man.
“So,” he said in a more basso tone than before. “You’re the Avatar of Raven.”
“And?” I said, feeling my hackles rise.
The old man chuckled. “My people have feared your God forever. Something about him spreading disorder amongst ordered systems. Although, if the other nobles ever saw you, they’d wonder if they had the right person. You’re smaller than my grandson, you see, and some would wonder if you would pose any real threat. I know better, though - the biggest surprises often come in small packages.”
“What is going on here!?” snapped Rei.
Katsuhito smiled. “Let’s sit down and I will explain, Rei-chan.”
Rei and I exchanged wary glances as we sat down. Katsuhito produced cups of hot green tea, and then continued.
“There is a lot about the world you don’t know about,” began the old man. “Although I suspect that you, Mister Darkwood, have been scratching the surface of that facade.”
“Oh, you’ve got no freaking clue,” I grumbled.
“Do I?” asked the old man amiably. “Well, I guess I should start by showing rather than telling.”
And suddenly, it was as though he had become encased in a form-fitting hologram, and as it wiped away, so did it erase his age, leaving a vigorously youthful looking man with a kind expression and sharp violet eyes.
“My real name is Yosho Masaki Jurai. Over seven-hundred years ago, I followed a dangerous criminal known as Ryoko down to what is now known as Okayama and I imprisoned her in a cave there. However, I had found that I had no desire to return home, so I married a local girl and established a family.”
I let my head drop down to the table with a loud thunk and groaned at the implications.
“Is... something wrong, Mr. Darkwood?” asked Yosho.
“Oh, by Raven’s molting nutsack, is there ever,” I groaned without lifting my head. “Your grandson’s name is Tenchi. He woke Ryoko up, which brought your sisters, Aeka and Sasami into play, hence the incident with the Great Seto Bridge last year, and you also have a Galaxy Police detective named Mihoshi living there along with a mad genius named Washu who may be Mihoshi’s several-greats grandmother.”
“WHO ARE YOU!?” I heard Yosho snap angrily.
“A reincarnated soul that can use a god-awfully hard drink right now. Green tea is not gonna fucking cut it.”
“ZEKE!” screeched Rei. “What the hell is going on here!?”
I wanted to tell her exactly what was wrong. But it just wouldn’t make any sense to her at all. After all, why would it not make sense, the overall absurdity aside? Their timelines had been like this probably before the Silver Millennium Empire had existed! And yet, from my point of view, it was a blending of two...
OH HOLY FUCK! THREE!? No, FOUR!!!
FOUR MEDIA FRANCHISES!
Sailor Moon!
Full Metal Panic!
Tenchi Muyo!
Macross!
And the Full Metal Panic was a huge fucking blindspot for me because I’ve known Telly - Teletha Freakin’ Tesstarosa! - for most of my life!
HOLY FUCK, the pictures were now starting to come clear and I did NOT like what I was seeing! And the best part of all was that this shit would be NORMAL for everyone!
Okay, Zeke, chill the fuck out. Get yourself together, you stupid fuck. You’re not gonna be the fuckup you were before. You’re not gonna prove your step-dad from the bad old life that he was right about you. You’re gonna GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER AND GET YOUR SHIT IN GEAR!
MOTIVATE, SAILOR!
And then, with that thought, yet another tidbit of my past life slammed into place, locking itself irrevocably into my memories.
It all began with sharp cry of, “ATTENTION TO THE CREED!
“I am a United States Sailor.
“I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and I will obey the orders of those appointed over me.
“I represent the fighting spirit of the Navy and those who have gone before me to defend freedom and democracy around the world.
“I proudly serve my country's Navy combat team with Honor, Courage and Commitment.
“I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all.”
Slowly my vision became clear...
...and found that Rei and Yosho were giving me wide-eyed looks of terror. You know, the kind that says, “Oh my fucking god, I am in the same room as someone that has just completely fucking snapped. I better stay the fuck still so he doesn’t notice me and fuck my shit up.”
I sighed heavily, then took a few deep breaths to help me get the shakes out. That’s right, get that breathing under control.
“It’s okay,” I said slowly as I relaxed from Attention and sat back down at the table. “I’m... I’ll be okay.”
“What was that you were saying before?” said Rei, not sure if she should be angry or worried.
“That was the Sailor’s Creed,” said Yosho with much more calm than Rei. “It is one of the first things new recruits are taught in the US Navy.” Yosho’s eyes narrowed at me. “You are far too young for that, though, and you spoke it like a true sailor of the US Navy.” He didn’t even need to add on the question - it was implied by the very expression on his face. Besides, he’d already asked before.
“I already told you,” I said in a low tone of voice that clearly stated I wasn’t going to accept any more guff on anyone’s part. “I’m a reincarnated soul. If that’s too hard to accept, then the door’s over there. You want to make something of it, then that God your people are so afraid of will only be too happy to reach through me and take you to school. You want to just accept it and move on, then I’ll be happy to sit here, drink tea, and discuss the matter with you.”
The Juraian Prince studied me for a moment, then lifted his cup, took a long, slow sip, and set it back down again.
“Mr. Darkwood, I am relatively young by the standards of the Royal Family of Jurai - not even nine-hundred years old yet! And yet I have seen enough strange things in my time that I am more than willing to accept that at face value.
“That said, how does that pertain to you having such intimate knowledge?”
“That would be a better question for me to answer!” piped up a young and cheerful sounding voice behind me.
“GYAH!” cried out Rei as she suddenly tried to become one with the wall.
“Washu-chan!?” cried out Yosho.
I spun around and there she was, just out of nowhere.
A sprightly twelve year old child stared with a set of gorgeous green eyes which sat under a massive volume of outrageously red hair, styled in a fashion that made it look like she had a crab on top of her head.
The one and only.
Accept no substitutes.
Washu Hakubi.
Self-proclaimed greatest genius in the galaxy - and she wasn’t just bragging about it, either.
“Holy shit, I never thought I’d ever get to meet you,” I said.
Washu’s face lit up in glee. “Well that’s a refreshing change! Normally when I show up people run away screaming or they can’t believe I’m me!”
I raised an eyebrow at the tiny woman. “Well, putting on the whole lolita schtick doesn’t exactly do wonders in that department.”
“Heee-eeehh?” said Washu as she cocked an interested eyebrow in my direction. “I think we got ourselves a live one here, Yosho!”
“I have no idea of what to make of him anymore,” commented the Prince.
“Avatar of Raven,” I reminded him, sotto voiced.
“... That still doesn’t help.”
“Zeeeeeeeeke,” hissed Rei, still plastered to the wall.
“It’s okay Rei,” I told her. “Washu-chan is relatively harmless as long as you don’t anger her. And on that note, always call her Washu-chan - she likes being treated like a cute girl.”
“Got it in one, pal!” said Washu as she thumped me on the back.
“OOOF! Oi, I know I’m a big boy and all, but try not to break my back! It’s the only one I got.”
“Pansy.”
“Can we please get to the point,” said Yosho with long-suffering patience. “Why are you here, Washu-chan?”
Rei slowly unstuck herself from the wall and cautiously approached while Washu went into lecture mode.
“I’m so glad you asked! Zeke, here, is a bonafide avatar, just like he said. And, just as he said as well, he’s also a reincarnated soul!”
“And what does that have to do with his knowledge?” asked Yosho.
“Easy. Transfictionality.”
“Trans-what?” asked Rei.
“Hmmm... Time for a remedial lesson!” And then suddenly, we were all sitting at classroom desks while Washu stood in front of a whiteboard with the legend ‘Washu-chan’s Transfictionality for Dummies!’
Rei cried out in alarm, but before she could say anything else, I hissed a warning at her.
“Harmless! Remember? Just roll with it!”
Rei shot me a look that came somewhere between annoyed and alarmed, but otherwise nodded and turned her attention back to Washu.
“Alright, everyone seated? Let’s begin!”
I won’t bore you with the details. Essentially, what it all boiled down to was this: with an infinite number of universes out there, that meant that there was an infinite number of possible outcomes for an infinite number of events. With that said, it is entirely possible that the events that take place in one universe is a fictional comedic drama in another.
“And Zee-kun’s soul came from such a universe where we’re all fictional characters! Granted, some of the details may not be wholly accurate to him, but for the most part things probably seem weirdly familiar.”
“Yeah, no kidding there,” I grumbled.
“Now, does anyone have any questions?” asked Washu.
Rei raised her hand and Washu called on her. “Why are you even here?”
“Ah! Good question!” said Washu happily ans she suddenly stuck a gold star by Rei’s name on the whiteboard. “I appreciate that in a student!”
Suddenly, the classroom environment disappeared and the four of us were suddenly sitting around the table once more, all with full glasses of steaming green tea.
And yes, I definitely noticed that there was an extra one for Washu.
“The honest truth is,” began Washu in an unusually sober tone, “that I was curious about Zee-kun here. It’s kind of hard not to notice when a 12-Dimensional being reaches down and takes control of a 4-Dimensional being like one of us, here. It’s such a rare thing! And the most alarming part about it is that there’s simply no way to predict something like that - you don’t even know that it’s gonna happen until it’s actually happening.
“So as you can imagine, there’s very little knowledge about how this sort of thing works. And this sort of research is exactly what I study - when I noticed what was going on, that was like bacon in a frying pan!
“Now, before I go on here, I need to ask you something just to be sure, Zee-kun. Do you know about Sasami and Tsunami?”
I nodded. “Yes. In essence, Tsunami has assimilated Sasami into her being, so she’s slowly becoming the Goddess herself... she’s how old now?”
“Fourteen.”
“She’s already had her menarche, right?”
“ZEKE!” cried out Rei.
“It’s relevant,” Washu chided her gently. “And the answer is yes - about six months ago.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “And that’s quickened the process so something that would have taken decades in an adult will only take a few years for Sasami-chan.” I then paused as I had a horrifying thought. “The same thing isn’t happening to me, is it?”
“That’s what I was curious about myself,” said Washu. “The short answer? Probably not. I’ve looked at APO Localization Charts for you and Raven - and let me tell you, for being such a showoff, that guy is not too keen on having his picture taken. While you two do show signs of an assimilation process starting... it never really got anywhere. However, it is enough that through this connection that Raven is able to reach through and... well, not really control you, but strongly influence your thoughts and feelings. It’s also how you’re able to gain a measure of his power.
“Oh, and just so you know, you and the little fire princess there share a similar bond. What have you been up to, you kinky little boy?”
“She angered Raven. The only way to keep Raven from taking her soul was to have two of his High Priestesses perform a soul-bonding on us by my request and Rei’s permission.”
Washu quirked an eyebrow. “And you knew the consequences going into it?”
“More or less.”
The scientist blew and impressed whistle. “You got guts, kid, doing that with someone you barely know. At least from what I can tell of your APO Localization Charts you two are compatible enough that there won’t be any destructive resonance cascades - that’s always a huge risk factor.
“So, have you noticed any side affects?”
“I get a measure of her power whenever she transforms into Sailor Mars.”
Washu blinked. “Sailor Mars? You don’t mean...” And then Washu exploded into raucous laughter. “Oh, by the Golden Ratio! And I even called her ‘fire princess’ just a moment ago! HA-HAAAH!”
“Washu-chan, what is the meaning of this?” asked Yosho.
Washu cackled once more. “Oh Yosho-kun, you’re just gonna love this. Your Great Granddaughter here is the reincarnation of the Princess of Mars from the Silver Moon Empire!”
“WHAT?” cried out the Juraian prince.
“Oh, it gets better,” I said, grinning maliciously at his sudden discomfiture. “You happen to notice the cute little blonde with the chinese-style twin-tails? She happen to look familiar?”
“Oh... Oh no... You don’t mean...”
“Yup. Princess Serenity herself, in the flesh. And all her generals are here. Although Uranus, Neptune, Pluto are lying low for the time being. On the other hand, Saturn is just about to arrive to the party.”
Yosho’s eyes widened and his pupils contracted down to the size of theoretical particles.
“Ah, Zee-kun,” said Washu a bit nervously. “You said ‘Saturn’, right? Like, destroyer of worlds because she looked at me funny Saturn?”
“She’s not that bad,” I said a bit testily. “Hotaru-chan is an absolute sweetheart. If her father winds up dying in this time line, then I’m gonna adopt her and make sure she feels loved and cherished.”
“WHAT!?” said Rei suddenly. “You can’t adopt a kid!”
“Well, maybe not technically, but the Japanese are god-awfully weird about kids being able to decide their own situations. Once I get my own place I can probably have her live with me and not a single person would bat an eyelash as long as she looks healthy, acts properly, and gets good grades.”
“Don’t you mean us!?” snapped Rei.
I turned to her and smiled as I felt warmth blossom in my chest.
“You’ll always be welcome to stay with me, Rei.” I then leaned over to Rei and whispered in her ear, “Would you want to share a room with Hotaru-chan? She really is adorable and very pleasant to have around.”
Rei’s eyes goggled. “DON’T DECIDE THINGS LIKE THAT FOR ME!”
“Well, criminy, Rei. I gotta ask so I know whether to look for a place that has two bedrooms or three.”
Rei rocked backwards. “You’re serious!?”
“Dead serious,” I confirmed.
“Ah, I hate to break the flow of the conversation here,” said Yosho suddenly. “But... Princess Serenity?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Worrying, ain’t it?”
Washu cackled. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“This may seem a bit unorthodox but... may I... speak with her?”
I shot a look over to Rei, who turned her nose. “Do whatever you want.”
I reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. “You’re thoughts do matter. She’s your friend, too.”
Rei glared at me for a short moment, but the look slowly lost its heat as she realized that I meant what I said. She then turned back to Yosho, with the heat cranked up to BROIL.
“You may talk to her if you wish, but don’t you dare make her feel bad or else I’ll never forgive you, Great Grandfather!”
Yosho held his hands up defensively. “Of course not! Of course not! I just want to figure out what her intentions are.”
I scoffed at that. “You might be in for a surprise.”
##
We got the introductions out of the way fairly matter-of-factly. Prince Yosho, Crown Prince of the Empire of Jurai, meet Princess Serenity, Crown Princess of the Silver Moon Empire.
And then we had to wade through all the usual outrage, shock, and general what-the-actual-fuck.
Finally, though, Yosho did manage to ask Usagi what her intentions were.
Usagi, for her part, blinked cutely. “What do you mean? I just want to get high school and college out of the way so I can hurry up and get started on this little cutey here!”
And with that, Usagi glomped onto Chibiusa, promptly inciting an aggrieved cry of “mmMOOOooooOOOHHhhhMMM!”
Yosho gave Usagi a surprised look. “You mean you have no intentions of reestablishing the your empire?”
Something behind Usagi’s eyes clicked. When she spoke, it was not exactly as an Empress-Apparent making a decree. Rather, she was speaking as an eloquent and kindly stateswoman.
“Prince Yosho, your concern is not misplaced. I understand how disconcerting it would be for the Empire of Jurai. You can lay your fears to rest, though. I would only resurrect my Empire if it were actually need it. I would prefer to let the dead rest in peace. What we have here on Earth now is good enough.”
“And may I ask what would constitute a need for your Empire’s return?”
“The immediate and imminent threat of all life in this star system being suddenly and irrevocably snuffed out.”
Yosho paled at the thought.
Usagi went on, “At that point, it will likely be only my power that is capable of averting such a disaster - that and the power of my allies. I do not know what I would do without them. And that includes Ezekiel - he has already stopped us from a foolish act once recently. I know that we can count on him to do so yet again in the future.”
Usagi then suddenly gave me such a loving look that I actually felt embarrassed. Don’t look at me like that! You’re not my mom! You’re not even my sister!
Chibiusa could only giggle and mention something about her mom managing to make Uncle Z go all red again.
Commentary Thread ===> HERE!
Usagi. Early.
Wonder of all wonders!
But once I got close the reason for her being there so early became clear. Mamorou had arrived early with Chibiusa, and Usagi had to be roused out of bed in order for Luna-P to work her mojo of modifying memories and adding the hard evidence such as photographs without Usagi getting caught in it as well.
Fortunately, it seemed to have gone off without a hitch, and Usagi’s mother was busy getting Chibiusa (with subtle help from Luna-P) enrolled into the nearby elementary school.
And right at that moment, Usagi and Minako were sharing pictures on their cell phones of the whole incident with Ami and Makoto.
“Neh, neh! Uncle Z!” teased Minako cheerfully.
I rolled my eyes and snorted at that. “Not your uncle, that’s for sure. Neh, Usagi? You talked to them about what we’ll be doing about our friends?”
Like a switch had been thrown, Usagi was suddenly all business.
“Right,” said Usagi with a firm nod of her head. “Girls? We’re going to be letting the rest of our regular lunch group in on our secret.”
“You mean...” said Makoto in surprise.
“That’s right,” confirmed Minako. “We’re going to tell them who we really are.”
“But how would they believe us?” wondered Makoto.
“That’s easy,” I said. “Just transform.”
“What about Rei?” asked Ami. “Does she know what we’re doing?”
“I already talked to her about it last night on the phone,” said Usagi. “She was really surprised, but once I explained everything, she was fine with it.”
“So when are we doing this?” asked Ami.
“After school, at the shrine.”
I then saw Haruna-sensei come through the door, and the time for idle chit chat was over.
##
Before Haruna left at the end of first period, she advised us that she needed to see the class reps in the faculty office during lunch break.
So, rather than join our friends on the roof, in what was starting to become known amongst the rest of the student body as ‘The Junior Student Council’, Naru and I promptly arrived at the faculty office.
To our surprise, Kaname and Kubiak were there as well.
“Hey guys. You know anything about all this?” I asked.
“Oh, Zee-kun!” said Kaname, greeting me with a smile. “Not a thing. Kubi-kun?”
Kubiak simply shrugged. Oddly enough, I think the fabric of space warped to give him room to do it.
And people call me weird.
Suddenly, the teacher for Class 1-M, Eri Kagurazaka, stuck her head out the door and smiled cheerfully upon seeing us all present.
“Oh wonderful! You’re all here already. Please, come inside.” And then she disappeared back into the staff room.
I looked to the others and shrugged. “Well, here we go.”
We went inside, and found a somewhat crowded space of open cubicles packed with binders, books, and paperwork. At a table at the end of the room, Haruna Sakurada and Eri Kagurazaka sat together and waved us all over.
“Hey everyone!” started Haruna-sensei. “I’m sorry to bother you all during lunch, but Kagurazaka-sensei and I felt it was best to let you all know as soon as possible.”
Kagurazaka-sensei nodded her head vigorously. “You see, our classes have been authorized to take a trip to Okinawa during winter break! It’s gonna be Christmas in Paradise!”
“HEEEE-EEEEEHHHHH!” we all cried out in excitement - myself included!
“Winter break in Okinawa!? That’s so COOL!” said Naru excitedly. “Oh, I wonder if I’ll get to make some Winter memories with a cute boy!”
“Hoi, hoi!” said Haruna-sensei with a glare. “The only ‘memories’ you’re thinking of had better be suitable for a family audience!” We all broke out into nervous laughter while poor Naru-chan positively radiated embarrassment.
I made a mental note to watch myself around Rei. The very idea of her in a swimsuit... the Senshi Seifukus were bad enough!
“At any rate, Miss Chidori?” said Kagurazakas-sensei.
“Yes?” answered the blue-haired girl.
“It shows in your student record that you were in charge of the class trip at your previous school last year. Do you feel up to helping Zee-kun out since it’s his first time?”
“Not a problem at all, Sensei,” said Kaname with a smile.
“Wonderful!” said Haruna happily. She then handed us both a sheaf of papers. “That’s all the information the two of you need to get started. If you have any questions at all, feel free to ask us. Now go on, then! You know what to do.”
##
“ARE YOU SERIOUS!?” boomed Usagi’s voice from the rooftop of Juuban Municipal High School.
Ami and Makoto pulled her back down to the rooftop before she could broadcast the rest of it to the entire neighborhood.
“Yes, dead serious,” I said with a sigh as everyone began to chatter animatedly. “Although if you girls can keep it to yourselves until study period, I’d greatly appreciate it.”
“There is a downside to all this,” said Kaname. “Everyone will need to pick a place of interest and write a report on it. This will essentially be our homework over the break.”
“Mooouuuuu,” groaned Usagi. “Whyyyyyyyy?”
“Because it would be a lot better than having to write it in English?” I hazarded. Usagi flopped backwards as she spasmed in horror at the very idea, causing the rest of us to laugh.
##
We all converged on the shrine, everyone talking animatedly with each other.
The Senshi, minus Rei, plus Chibiusa. (She had intercepted us while enroute.)
Naru, Kaname, Sousuke, The Koob...
And me.
Of course, we met Rei at the stairs to the shrine.
She looked us all over, made a double-take at Chibiusa, and just shook her head, no doubt shaming herself for even being surprised by that development - especially after being told about it over the phone.
However, things wound up getting derailed the moment we set foot inside.
There stood a man in the entry way, waiting for us.
He wore a priest’s robes - plain, yet immaculate.
He was tall - at nearly two meters the man practically dwarfed me.
He was ancient - wrinkles and age lines adorned his face, and his hair had turned to a color like roughly machined steel, lending the old Japanese man an air that radiated wizened authority.
Upon entering the study, I was immediately taken aback as the elderly man locked his violet eyes upon me.
Wait, violet?
“Hmmmm...” he said the ancient man thoughtfully as he studied us all. “What a lively collection of young people!” he then said jovially with a reedy, raspy voice. “I am sorry to intrude, but I need to speak with Rei-chan.”
“What is this about, sir?” asked Rei cautiously.
“Ooooh! Is that you, Rei-chan? I see you still have your mother’s beautiful eyes. Among other things.”
“Grandfather,” I said as I stepped forward. “I mean no disrespect, but please understand how it must feel to return to one’s home and find a stranger there that speaks of you in such a familiar tone.”
“Eh?” said the old man. “Rei-chan? Who is this young fellow?”
“I’m sorry, but he has the right of it, sir,” said Rei, who was now starting to become officially weirded out by the situation. “I don’t know who you are!”
“Oh!” exclaimed the old priest. “Is that so! I guess you wouldn’t remember then - the last time I saw you, you were barely a week old. You were so tiny then, but now you’ve grown into such a beautiful woman!”
The old man paused as he suddenly saw us beginning to draw back - some of us even adopting defensive postures.
“No no no!” cried out the old man. “Don’t be alarmed! I am her mother’s Grandfather! Katsuhito Masaki!”
“Great Grandfather?” said Rei in befuddlement, but then that quickly evaporated into anger. “Why didn’t you ever come when Mother was dying!?”
“Oh, Rei-chan,” said Katsuhito morosely. “I would have, but it was a very bad time. Your mother, Risa, was not the only one to fall ill in our family. At the same time, as fate would have it, my beautiful daughter, Kiyone, also passed away, leaving a widow and her young son behind.”
That immediately mollified Rei. “I am sorry, Great Grandfather. I had no idea.”
“It is in the past. What’s important is now. Rei-chan, I need to have a very important discussion with you in private.”
A private discussion? With Rei? Right away, a worst-case scenario of Rei being married off to some stranger flashed through my mind, so right away I stepped right up next to Rei and took her hand in mine.
“You may need to discuss it with both of us,” I said firmly.
“HEEEEEHHHHHHHH!?!?!” cried out all the girls behind us.
“ZEKE!” hissed Rei sharply at me as her face flushed, but she did not try to pull away from me.
But old man Katsuhito simply smiled. “I see... do you happen to be Ezekiel?”
“I am,” I replied guardedly.
“Ah, just as well then. You may come with us. You’re a rather important person as well, and if what I’ve heard about you is true, then you’ll be a good fit together. Especially if Rei-chan is anything like my little Risa.”
We all exchanged confused looks with each other and helpless shrugs. No other way but forward, then.
“You guys go ahead and get situated,” said Rei. “Zeke and I will be back with you as soon as possible.”
##
Once the shoji closed behind us, it was like Katsuhito had suddenly transformed. His posture straightened and the look in his eyes crystallized.
This was no age-enfeebled old man.
“So,” he said in a more basso tone than before. “You’re the Avatar of Raven.”
“And?” I said, feeling my hackles rise.
The old man chuckled. “My people have feared your God forever. Something about him spreading disorder amongst ordered systems. Although, if the other nobles ever saw you, they’d wonder if they had the right person. You’re smaller than my grandson, you see, and some would wonder if you would pose any real threat. I know better, though - the biggest surprises often come in small packages.”
“What is going on here!?” snapped Rei.
Katsuhito smiled. “Let’s sit down and I will explain, Rei-chan.”
Rei and I exchanged wary glances as we sat down. Katsuhito produced cups of hot green tea, and then continued.
“There is a lot about the world you don’t know about,” began the old man. “Although I suspect that you, Mister Darkwood, have been scratching the surface of that facade.”
“Oh, you’ve got no freaking clue,” I grumbled.
“Do I?” asked the old man amiably. “Well, I guess I should start by showing rather than telling.”
And suddenly, it was as though he had become encased in a form-fitting hologram, and as it wiped away, so did it erase his age, leaving a vigorously youthful looking man with a kind expression and sharp violet eyes.
“My real name is Yosho Masaki Jurai. Over seven-hundred years ago, I followed a dangerous criminal known as Ryoko down to what is now known as Okayama and I imprisoned her in a cave there. However, I had found that I had no desire to return home, so I married a local girl and established a family.”
I let my head drop down to the table with a loud thunk and groaned at the implications.
“Is... something wrong, Mr. Darkwood?” asked Yosho.
“Oh, by Raven’s molting nutsack, is there ever,” I groaned without lifting my head. “Your grandson’s name is Tenchi. He woke Ryoko up, which brought your sisters, Aeka and Sasami into play, hence the incident with the Great Seto Bridge last year, and you also have a Galaxy Police detective named Mihoshi living there along with a mad genius named Washu who may be Mihoshi’s several-greats grandmother.”
“WHO ARE YOU!?” I heard Yosho snap angrily.
“A reincarnated soul that can use a god-awfully hard drink right now. Green tea is not gonna fucking cut it.”
“ZEKE!” screeched Rei. “What the hell is going on here!?”
I wanted to tell her exactly what was wrong. But it just wouldn’t make any sense to her at all. After all, why would it not make sense, the overall absurdity aside? Their timelines had been like this probably before the Silver Millennium Empire had existed! And yet, from my point of view, it was a blending of two...
OH HOLY FUCK! THREE!? No, FOUR!!!
FOUR MEDIA FRANCHISES!
Sailor Moon!
Full Metal Panic!
Tenchi Muyo!
Macross!
And the Full Metal Panic was a huge fucking blindspot for me because I’ve known Telly - Teletha Freakin’ Tesstarosa! - for most of my life!
HOLY FUCK, the pictures were now starting to come clear and I did NOT like what I was seeing! And the best part of all was that this shit would be NORMAL for everyone!
Okay, Zeke, chill the fuck out. Get yourself together, you stupid fuck. You’re not gonna be the fuckup you were before. You’re not gonna prove your step-dad from the bad old life that he was right about you. You’re gonna GET IT THE FUCK TOGETHER AND GET YOUR SHIT IN GEAR!
MOTIVATE, SAILOR!
And then, with that thought, yet another tidbit of my past life slammed into place, locking itself irrevocably into my memories.
It all began with sharp cry of, “ATTENTION TO THE CREED!
“I am a United States Sailor.
“I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America and I will obey the orders of those appointed over me.
“I represent the fighting spirit of the Navy and those who have gone before me to defend freedom and democracy around the world.
“I proudly serve my country's Navy combat team with Honor, Courage and Commitment.
“I am committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all.”
Slowly my vision became clear...
...and found that Rei and Yosho were giving me wide-eyed looks of terror. You know, the kind that says, “Oh my fucking god, I am in the same room as someone that has just completely fucking snapped. I better stay the fuck still so he doesn’t notice me and fuck my shit up.”
I sighed heavily, then took a few deep breaths to help me get the shakes out. That’s right, get that breathing under control.
“It’s okay,” I said slowly as I relaxed from Attention and sat back down at the table. “I’m... I’ll be okay.”
“What was that you were saying before?” said Rei, not sure if she should be angry or worried.
“That was the Sailor’s Creed,” said Yosho with much more calm than Rei. “It is one of the first things new recruits are taught in the US Navy.” Yosho’s eyes narrowed at me. “You are far too young for that, though, and you spoke it like a true sailor of the US Navy.” He didn’t even need to add on the question - it was implied by the very expression on his face. Besides, he’d already asked before.
“I already told you,” I said in a low tone of voice that clearly stated I wasn’t going to accept any more guff on anyone’s part. “I’m a reincarnated soul. If that’s too hard to accept, then the door’s over there. You want to make something of it, then that God your people are so afraid of will only be too happy to reach through me and take you to school. You want to just accept it and move on, then I’ll be happy to sit here, drink tea, and discuss the matter with you.”
The Juraian Prince studied me for a moment, then lifted his cup, took a long, slow sip, and set it back down again.
“Mr. Darkwood, I am relatively young by the standards of the Royal Family of Jurai - not even nine-hundred years old yet! And yet I have seen enough strange things in my time that I am more than willing to accept that at face value.
“That said, how does that pertain to you having such intimate knowledge?”
“That would be a better question for me to answer!” piped up a young and cheerful sounding voice behind me.
“GYAH!” cried out Rei as she suddenly tried to become one with the wall.
“Washu-chan!?” cried out Yosho.
I spun around and there she was, just out of nowhere.
A sprightly twelve year old child stared with a set of gorgeous green eyes which sat under a massive volume of outrageously red hair, styled in a fashion that made it look like she had a crab on top of her head.
The one and only.
Accept no substitutes.
Washu Hakubi.
Self-proclaimed greatest genius in the galaxy - and she wasn’t just bragging about it, either.
“Holy shit, I never thought I’d ever get to meet you,” I said.
Washu’s face lit up in glee. “Well that’s a refreshing change! Normally when I show up people run away screaming or they can’t believe I’m me!”
I raised an eyebrow at the tiny woman. “Well, putting on the whole lolita schtick doesn’t exactly do wonders in that department.”
“Heee-eeehh?” said Washu as she cocked an interested eyebrow in my direction. “I think we got ourselves a live one here, Yosho!”
“I have no idea of what to make of him anymore,” commented the Prince.
“Avatar of Raven,” I reminded him, sotto voiced.
“... That still doesn’t help.”
“Zeeeeeeeeke,” hissed Rei, still plastered to the wall.
“It’s okay Rei,” I told her. “Washu-chan is relatively harmless as long as you don’t anger her. And on that note, always call her Washu-chan - she likes being treated like a cute girl.”
“Got it in one, pal!” said Washu as she thumped me on the back.
“OOOF! Oi, I know I’m a big boy and all, but try not to break my back! It’s the only one I got.”
“Pansy.”
“Can we please get to the point,” said Yosho with long-suffering patience. “Why are you here, Washu-chan?”
Rei slowly unstuck herself from the wall and cautiously approached while Washu went into lecture mode.
“I’m so glad you asked! Zeke, here, is a bonafide avatar, just like he said. And, just as he said as well, he’s also a reincarnated soul!”
“And what does that have to do with his knowledge?” asked Yosho.
“Easy. Transfictionality.”
“Trans-what?” asked Rei.
“Hmmm... Time for a remedial lesson!” And then suddenly, we were all sitting at classroom desks while Washu stood in front of a whiteboard with the legend ‘Washu-chan’s Transfictionality for Dummies!’
Rei cried out in alarm, but before she could say anything else, I hissed a warning at her.
“Harmless! Remember? Just roll with it!”
Rei shot me a look that came somewhere between annoyed and alarmed, but otherwise nodded and turned her attention back to Washu.
“Alright, everyone seated? Let’s begin!”
I won’t bore you with the details. Essentially, what it all boiled down to was this: with an infinite number of universes out there, that meant that there was an infinite number of possible outcomes for an infinite number of events. With that said, it is entirely possible that the events that take place in one universe is a fictional comedic drama in another.
“And Zee-kun’s soul came from such a universe where we’re all fictional characters! Granted, some of the details may not be wholly accurate to him, but for the most part things probably seem weirdly familiar.”
“Yeah, no kidding there,” I grumbled.
“Now, does anyone have any questions?” asked Washu.
Rei raised her hand and Washu called on her. “Why are you even here?”
“Ah! Good question!” said Washu happily ans she suddenly stuck a gold star by Rei’s name on the whiteboard. “I appreciate that in a student!”
Suddenly, the classroom environment disappeared and the four of us were suddenly sitting around the table once more, all with full glasses of steaming green tea.
And yes, I definitely noticed that there was an extra one for Washu.
“The honest truth is,” began Washu in an unusually sober tone, “that I was curious about Zee-kun here. It’s kind of hard not to notice when a 12-Dimensional being reaches down and takes control of a 4-Dimensional being like one of us, here. It’s such a rare thing! And the most alarming part about it is that there’s simply no way to predict something like that - you don’t even know that it’s gonna happen until it’s actually happening.
“So as you can imagine, there’s very little knowledge about how this sort of thing works. And this sort of research is exactly what I study - when I noticed what was going on, that was like bacon in a frying pan!
“Now, before I go on here, I need to ask you something just to be sure, Zee-kun. Do you know about Sasami and Tsunami?”
I nodded. “Yes. In essence, Tsunami has assimilated Sasami into her being, so she’s slowly becoming the Goddess herself... she’s how old now?”
“Fourteen.”
“She’s already had her menarche, right?”
“ZEKE!” cried out Rei.
“It’s relevant,” Washu chided her gently. “And the answer is yes - about six months ago.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “And that’s quickened the process so something that would have taken decades in an adult will only take a few years for Sasami-chan.” I then paused as I had a horrifying thought. “The same thing isn’t happening to me, is it?”
“That’s what I was curious about myself,” said Washu. “The short answer? Probably not. I’ve looked at APO Localization Charts for you and Raven - and let me tell you, for being such a showoff, that guy is not too keen on having his picture taken. While you two do show signs of an assimilation process starting... it never really got anywhere. However, it is enough that through this connection that Raven is able to reach through and... well, not really control you, but strongly influence your thoughts and feelings. It’s also how you’re able to gain a measure of his power.
“Oh, and just so you know, you and the little fire princess there share a similar bond. What have you been up to, you kinky little boy?”
“She angered Raven. The only way to keep Raven from taking her soul was to have two of his High Priestesses perform a soul-bonding on us by my request and Rei’s permission.”
Washu quirked an eyebrow. “And you knew the consequences going into it?”
“More or less.”
The scientist blew and impressed whistle. “You got guts, kid, doing that with someone you barely know. At least from what I can tell of your APO Localization Charts you two are compatible enough that there won’t be any destructive resonance cascades - that’s always a huge risk factor.
“So, have you noticed any side affects?”
“I get a measure of her power whenever she transforms into Sailor Mars.”
Washu blinked. “Sailor Mars? You don’t mean...” And then Washu exploded into raucous laughter. “Oh, by the Golden Ratio! And I even called her ‘fire princess’ just a moment ago! HA-HAAAH!”
“Washu-chan, what is the meaning of this?” asked Yosho.
Washu cackled once more. “Oh Yosho-kun, you’re just gonna love this. Your Great Granddaughter here is the reincarnation of the Princess of Mars from the Silver Moon Empire!”
“WHAT?” cried out the Juraian prince.
“Oh, it gets better,” I said, grinning maliciously at his sudden discomfiture. “You happen to notice the cute little blonde with the chinese-style twin-tails? She happen to look familiar?”
“Oh... Oh no... You don’t mean...”
“Yup. Princess Serenity herself, in the flesh. And all her generals are here. Although Uranus, Neptune, Pluto are lying low for the time being. On the other hand, Saturn is just about to arrive to the party.”
Yosho’s eyes widened and his pupils contracted down to the size of theoretical particles.
“Ah, Zee-kun,” said Washu a bit nervously. “You said ‘Saturn’, right? Like, destroyer of worlds because she looked at me funny Saturn?”
“She’s not that bad,” I said a bit testily. “Hotaru-chan is an absolute sweetheart. If her father winds up dying in this time line, then I’m gonna adopt her and make sure she feels loved and cherished.”
“WHAT!?” said Rei suddenly. “You can’t adopt a kid!”
“Well, maybe not technically, but the Japanese are god-awfully weird about kids being able to decide their own situations. Once I get my own place I can probably have her live with me and not a single person would bat an eyelash as long as she looks healthy, acts properly, and gets good grades.”
“Don’t you mean us!?” snapped Rei.
I turned to her and smiled as I felt warmth blossom in my chest.
“You’ll always be welcome to stay with me, Rei.” I then leaned over to Rei and whispered in her ear, “Would you want to share a room with Hotaru-chan? She really is adorable and very pleasant to have around.”
Rei’s eyes goggled. “DON’T DECIDE THINGS LIKE THAT FOR ME!”
“Well, criminy, Rei. I gotta ask so I know whether to look for a place that has two bedrooms or three.”
Rei rocked backwards. “You’re serious!?”
“Dead serious,” I confirmed.
“Ah, I hate to break the flow of the conversation here,” said Yosho suddenly. “But... Princess Serenity?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Worrying, ain’t it?”
Washu cackled. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“This may seem a bit unorthodox but... may I... speak with her?”
I shot a look over to Rei, who turned her nose. “Do whatever you want.”
I reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. “You’re thoughts do matter. She’s your friend, too.”
Rei glared at me for a short moment, but the look slowly lost its heat as she realized that I meant what I said. She then turned back to Yosho, with the heat cranked up to BROIL.
“You may talk to her if you wish, but don’t you dare make her feel bad or else I’ll never forgive you, Great Grandfather!”
Yosho held his hands up defensively. “Of course not! Of course not! I just want to figure out what her intentions are.”
I scoffed at that. “You might be in for a surprise.”
##
We got the introductions out of the way fairly matter-of-factly. Prince Yosho, Crown Prince of the Empire of Jurai, meet Princess Serenity, Crown Princess of the Silver Moon Empire.
And then we had to wade through all the usual outrage, shock, and general what-the-actual-fuck.
Finally, though, Yosho did manage to ask Usagi what her intentions were.
Usagi, for her part, blinked cutely. “What do you mean? I just want to get high school and college out of the way so I can hurry up and get started on this little cutey here!”
And with that, Usagi glomped onto Chibiusa, promptly inciting an aggrieved cry of “mmMOOOooooOOOHHhhhMMM!”
Yosho gave Usagi a surprised look. “You mean you have no intentions of reestablishing the your empire?”
Something behind Usagi’s eyes clicked. When she spoke, it was not exactly as an Empress-Apparent making a decree. Rather, she was speaking as an eloquent and kindly stateswoman.
“Prince Yosho, your concern is not misplaced. I understand how disconcerting it would be for the Empire of Jurai. You can lay your fears to rest, though. I would only resurrect my Empire if it were actually need it. I would prefer to let the dead rest in peace. What we have here on Earth now is good enough.”
“And may I ask what would constitute a need for your Empire’s return?”
“The immediate and imminent threat of all life in this star system being suddenly and irrevocably snuffed out.”
Yosho paled at the thought.
Usagi went on, “At that point, it will likely be only my power that is capable of averting such a disaster - that and the power of my allies. I do not know what I would do without them. And that includes Ezekiel - he has already stopped us from a foolish act once recently. I know that we can count on him to do so yet again in the future.”
Usagi then suddenly gave me such a loving look that I actually felt embarrassed. Don’t look at me like that! You’re not my mom! You’re not even my sister!
Chibiusa could only giggle and mention something about her mom managing to make Uncle Z go all red again.
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