You Might be a Redneck If ... (sept edition)... there's a can holder in your shower.... the dog groomer charges you double.... the mechanic has to sit down for a few minutes after looking under the hood of your car.... you call your boss "dude."... you don't need a clean shirt to go to work.... you're always asked to step to one side at airport security.... anyone spat out their beer when the bride said, "I do."... the pink flamingos in your yard ceased to be pink sometime in the 90s.... every job you've had paid daily.... you show up Friday night for a Saturday morning yard sale.... beer bellies run in your family.... you think a hedge fund is the cash you buried in your yard.... you find bits of a broken headlight in your deerskin rug.... people ask you if you were in the movie Deliverance.... your grandmother wears a tank top without a bra.... your favorite party trick involves an empty beer can and your cleavage.... you've ever left a bingo game in handcuffs.... the only framed certificate in your house came from Chuck E. Cheese.... your sexiest gown came from a hospital.... your monthly vet bill is higher than your mortgage payment.... you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.... your wedding guests could sit on either side of the aisle and still be with family.... you _and_ your wife have to wear a ponytail at work.... you've never thrown away a Big Gulp cup.... the police officer takes a deep breath before listing the reasons he pulled you over.... every faucet in your home is permanently dripping.
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"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
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"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin