[RFC] Being You is Deculture

[Black Aeronaut]

.......

---

The Zentradi took it easy on us once we stopped fighting.  In fact, they waited for their Commander to finally drop out of the duct above.

“Exedore!” he snapped.  A relatively small Zentradi came running out of the passage.  The two exchanged words briefly and the smaller one handed some kind of device to the Commander.

He looked to us and put the device up to his face, and began to speak.

“I must give you Micronians credit where it’s due,” he said, his voice echoing through the chamber in perfectly understandable English.  “You fight valiantly, but you also seem to understand that there comes a time where there is nothing more to be gained by struggling.  Now, you four.  Out of those machines.  MOVE!”

Like he said, there wasn’t anything to be gained at this point.  We triggered the egress mechanisms.  I made sure to grab my photo of Minmei spinning in the park and pocket it before I went up - no telling if I was going to get my bird back now.

Some of the Zentradi startled at this, a few uttering the word, ‘Dekulcha’, at seeing our Valkyries seemingly ‘lose their heads’.  Even Breetai was a bit taken aback by it.  But then they all understood as our seats all began to rise out of their cockpits.

“Very good then.  Now, before we put you five away someplace safe, I want your names and ranks.  Starting with you, the female.  You seem to be in charge here.”

“Yes, that would be me,” replied Misa.  “I am Lieutenant Junior-Grade Misa Hayase.  These four men make up Red Wing of Skull Squadron.  Ensigns Hikaru Ichijou and Garrick Grimm, and Petty-Officers Maximillian Jenius and Hayao Kakizaki.”

“Hmm.  Know this, then, Lieutennant Junior-Grade.  You have been taken prisoner by Commander Breetai, leader of the Adoclass Expeditionary Fleet of the Zentradi Army.  In some time, we are going to sit down and have a nice long discussion.  But for now, we are going to take a little trip.  There is someone else who I feel needs to be present for that discussion.  I trust that you won’t cause us anymore undue difficulty?”

“No, Commander Breetai.”

“Good.  Take them away and secure their machines.”

“Commander!” I called out.

Breetai turned, giving me a surprised look.  “And what do you need of me?  You had better make it good, Ensign.”

“The three men we sent back to you.  I wanted to know how they were faring.”

“Them!?” said the Commander in surprise.  “If you really must know, they’re doing well and enjoying the benefits of their recent promotions and a long rest period pending a full review of their report.  Part of which raises questions that I trust you have answers for, now that we can speak to each other.”

I nodded.  “I will do my best to answer those questions, Sir.”

Breetai raised an eyebrow, “You seem awfully cooperative, Ensign.  Why is that?”

“It is my personal belief, Sir, that this conflict is a grave misunderstanding.  My hope is to avert any further misunderstandings.”

Breetai frowned, but otherwise seemed quite satisfied by my response.

“We’ll see, Ensign.  Men, you have your orders.”

##

We had been bagged and brought to what appeared to be an infirmary of some kind.  There, were were literally placed in a jar with a top that held what seemed to be scanning equipment.

“So, what now?” said Kakizaki sullenly.

“I don’t know, Dragonball,” said Hikaru.  He then looked to Misa.  “Well, ma’am?”

Misa sighed.  “We’re prisoners now.  I don’t know what else to say.”

“Because you had to go flying off recklessly on your own,” said Hikaru.

I went to him and put a hand on his arm, shaking my head.

He gave me a puzzled look, so I whispered in his ear, “Fuzzy, can’t you tell she’s already beating herself up over this?  Lay off a bit.”

Hikaru sighed and nodded his head in understanding.

“What about the Catseye pilot,” asked Hikaru.

“He’s dead,” she said morosely.  “We hit an asteroid fragment... it was... quick.”

Hikaru was about to say something, but a look for me forestalled any cutting commentary.

“I’m sorry,” he said instead.  “He was too green of a pilot for this mission.  It should have been someone else like me or Robber in that pilot seat.  At least we would have been able to avoid that rock.”

Misa sighed.  “No, there’s no way.  None of you have ever trained to fly a Catseye.”

“Shows what you know.”

I elbowed Hikaru sharply.

“Is that so?  You think they just stencil anyone’s name on a Catseye’s radar operator’s seat for shits and giggles, pilot?  That Catseye was MY bird.”  Hikaru was positively agog and I had to admit, I was somewhat surprised myself.

“But... you... bridge...”

“My job as the SDF-1’s air boss is a collateral duty.  There are not very many officers with the qualifications to fill that role, Ensign.  You should know this.  And this is despite the fact that signals intelligence was where I excelled at in the academy.  But with that comes a lot of line officer training and tactics.  They needed an Air Boss.  I was available and suitable.

“So just you remember, Ensign.  I have a brain, and I guarantee that it’s sharper than yours.”

Misa then sighed as she looked through the glass and through the viewing port on the bulkhead where asteroid fragments were drifting by slowly.

“But for all my intelligence, I wish I knew what was next,” she said.

“I think we’d all like to know,” agreed Hikaru.

I thought about that for a moment.  Things have definitely gone pear-shaped here.  For one thing, Max had been captured along with us, which means he won’t be lurking around with his Valkyrie wearing a Zentradi’s clothes, waiting for the chance to bust us out.

Gar-kun, I think it’s about time we told them.

You sure about that, Sprout?  They probably won’t have a good reaction to this.

It’s the only way you’ll be able to get free.

Alright then.  Think you can use the C-Pod to confound their sensors?

Done!  Now all they see is you guys trying to be as far away as possible while Misa and Hikaru fight like the married couple they’re gonna be!  Heeeeee~.

Little imp.

I sighed to myself.  Once I did this, there would be no turning back.  Oh well, time to face the music.

“Hey, guys?  I got something to confess.  I’ve been holding out on everyone.”

Everyone looked at me in puzzlement.

“Holding out?” said Hikaru.  “What’d’you mean by that, Robber?”

“Well, before I get started here, I want you guys to know this: I am and always will be the Cradle Robber you all know and love.”

“I’m sensing a biiiiiig BUT here,” said Kakizaki.

“BUT...” I said as I took off my left hand glove and began to push up my sleeve.  “My past is very VERY different.  To put it mildly, the characters and events are more or less the same... they’re just... a lot more so than how I described them.”

Katherine, drop the cloak on the vambrace.

Roger dodger, Gar-kun!

“WHOAH!” everyone cried out at once as the intricately carved wooden bracer with its red gleaming amber jewel winked into existence on my left wrist.

“What the hell is that, Garrick!?” cried out Hikaru.

“This is called a Master Key.”

“A master key to what!?” cried out Misa.

“My home away from home, ma’am.”  I tapped the desired coordinates into the C-Pod and the familiar sight of my door appeared, startling everyone.  “Okay everyone.  Time to go down the rabbit hole.”

I opened my door and stepped inside, beckoning everyone else to come in with me.

They all stared in slack-jawed amazement, pausing to look around the edge of my door, only to see nothing but a blank space on the backside of the door, so perfectly flat that it kinda bent the mind to look at it for too long since things that perfectly flat simply don’t exist anywhere.

“Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly,” quipped Max.

“Oh, come on!  That was uncalled for,” I grumped.  “Though I feel that I do have a nice parlor, all things considered.  G’wan, have a seat.  Those couches are actual leather.  You know, the real shit that can take an actual beating and just gain more character from it.”

I made my way to my kitchenette and opened the stasis-refrigerator.  Nothing like having coffee grounds that have only aged a few minutes since they were stored six months ago.

And best of all, this was the blend I got from Twilight’s favorite donut shop in Canterlot.

These guys were gonna fucking flip.

Again.

“What is this?” asked Misa.

“A subspace pocket that’s anchored to my physical person.  Whenever I’m occupying it, though, the front door there remains in normal existence and acts as the anchor in my place.”

“You mean this whole thing is inside a Dimensional Space Fold?” she said in astonishment.

“Not quite the same thing, but close.  It’s more like we’re inside a hypercube, a tesseract.  Actually, no that’s wrong.  It’s actually a penteract.”  Holy fuck, hanging around The Doctor must have rubbed off on me.

Misa gaped at me.  Literally gaped.  Wide eyed and slack-jawed.  I think she’s the only one here that really, truly had any idea of what that meant.  The others simply looked confused.

“we’re inside a fifth dimensional cube?” said Misa faintly.

“More or less,” I replied once I had my coffee maker burbling cheerfully away.  “Seriously guys.  Sit down before you fall down!  I’d hate to have to explain to Commander Breetai why his medical staff has to treat you guys for subdural hematomas.

Slowly they all blinked at me, and then remembered that there was a nice comfy couch, loveseat, and easy chair set just waiting to be occupied.

I prepared a tray with the needed mugs, as well as a bowl of sugar cubes and pitcher of heavy cream for those that wanted it, and set it aside for when the coffee was ready.

“Alright.  So, I know you guys are all wondering what the hell is going on, so I’ll get straight to the point.  Raise your hand if you’re familiar with the concept of a Slider.”

Max and Misa slowly raised their hands while Kakizaki and Hikaru looked puzzled.

“What do burgers have to do with this?” asked Kakizaki.

“Wrong kind of slider,” I replied.  “Since Max and Misa seem to know what I mean, then I guess it’s safe to assume you guys had that same TV series here.”

“Yeah, but it got canceled pretty early on,” said Max.  “I think it only made it through the first season.  People kinda lost interest when we had existence of aliens dropped right in our laps.”

“What TV show?” asked Hikaru.

Max shrugged at me.  “See?”

“No biggie, I got this.  Alright.  Think about every choice you’ve ever made in your life, right?  Ever imagine how things could have gone if one of those decisions was different from what you did?  Now, imagine that there are whole other universes out there, each one for each choice  and each option you ever had.

“Now, imagine that, multiplied by every single human that has ever lived.

“Now go even bigger.  Imagine that, multiplied by every single planet with any sort of life out there.

“Welcome to the world of infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters, where one of them inevitably and accidentally typed up all of Shakespeare’s plays, and even a few that he intended to write but never got around to doing.

“And a Slider is a person that travels between these worlds.”

“You’re some kind of alien?” said Hikaru in amazement, drawing startled looks from everyone but Misa.  She just gave him a scornful look.

“No, that’s just a technicality,” said Misa.  “He’s human like us... just from a different kind of Earth.”

“Different?” asked Hikaru.  “How so?”

I sighed.  “You know, I consider you guys lucky.”

“Lucky?” parroted Kakizaki.

I nodded.  “Lucky as fuck.  In my world, we never had ASS-1 crash land on South Ataria Island.  Instead, on the date of September 11th, 2001, there was a terrorist attack by Islamic Jihadists the likes of which you guys could never, ever imagine.

“In a coordinated attack, these people hijacked four airliners.  They first crashed one, with all its passengers on board, into the Pentagon in Washington, DC.  The next one was crashed into Tower One of the World Trade Center in New York City.  The third one hit tower two a few minutes later.  The fourth... we’re not sure about that one.  From what we can tell, the passengers fought back, and the terrorists lost control of the plane, crashing it in some uninhabited field in Pennsylvania.  It is thought that it was destined for someplace like either the Capitol Building or even the White House itself.

“The point is, within about two hours, over four-thousand people - not just Americans - lost their lives that day.  We never found even a tenth of their remains.  And I won’t even tell you about the ones that died before the twin towers collapsed.  It’s just too much.

“You can only imagine what happened next.  It was like Pearl Harbor all over again, only worse.  We understood that Japan attacked America because of the fuel embargoes, and they attacked a military target.

“But September 11th...  it was just simply senseless and cruel.

“And America responded in kind.”

“oh jesus christ,” uttered Max weakly.

“Yeah,” I agreed.  “That’s the world I’m from.  And I’m glad to be done with it.  Before I left, my mother died in an accident and the whole family just fell apart.  We just became strangers to each other.

“I was...  I don’t know how to describe it to you guys without overwhelming you.  Some being I know as Doctor Clay wanted to use me as some kind of weapon.  Something about the people of my world having latent abilities, but these abilities only manifest if they’re in the right kind of environment - none of which existed there on my original Earth.

“He pulled me out and dropped me in another version of Earth.  One that not only had the right conditions, but also among people that would help me develop it.  It was going to be especially sweet for this guy because it turns out these people were the enemy he wanted his revenge against.

“Funny thing, though.  Never, EVER tip your hand to beings that are far more powerful and intelligent than you.”

“What?” said Hikaru flatly.

I scoffed.  “Yeah.  He was a real fucking idiot,” I said as I got up and went to get the coffee.

I brought the tray back over with the carafe and set it on my coffee table.

“You guys are gonna want to try this.  Absolutely the best cuppa joe you’re ever gonna have in your lives, guaranteed or your money back.”
I poured the coffee and handed out the mugs, offering cream and sugar.  Everyone took theirs straight.  I added a healthy dollop of cream and three cubes to mine.

Misa’s eyes popped open and she nearly did a spit take... but didn’t because it would have been a horrible waste.

“Where did you get this!?” she cried out.

“A friend hooked me up in the last world I was in.  I won’t explain the details to you because you’d probably break your brains thinking about it.”

“Oh, c’mon!” grouched Kakizaki.  “After what you just laid on us, it can’t be that bad.... can it?”

I gave Kakizaki a very sharkish grin and said,

“My.

“Little.

“Pony.”

Kakizaki opened and shut his mouth, looking so much like a gold fish as he looked at his coffee, then at me, then at his coffee, then at me again.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No.”

“You gotta be.”

“Ah... Hayao?” said Max.

“What?”

Max pointed an unsteady finger at the picture frame on the wall.

Ah yes.  One of my favorites.  It is a clipping from a news article.  The picture depicts me, filthy, grubby, bloodied.  But still going at it.  Still helping to move medical supplies.  Still getting food to Ponies that needed it.  And following me fretfully was dear, beloved, little Twilight.  Trying desperately to treat my wounds, never minding that I have dealt with far worse before.  Never minding that she herself had seen me with far worse before.

But I was high on my own adrenaline and endorphins - Mother Nature’s gifts to us humans that grants us our perspicacity; the ability to keep going even in such a state.

“The Living Locomotive” the caption read.  Although it was originally in Equestrian, the Ponyville Gazette was kind enough to run off a few copies of that paper in English as well as Nihongo.

“NOT EVEN A GOD WILL STOP HIM!” continued the subscript.  “After beating aside Tirek’s strongest attack and enabling Princess Sparkle her victory, the miraculous being that some call The Living Locomotive tirelessly helps survivors in Ponyville.”

Slowly, all eyes turned to me.

“Hello everyone.  My name is Garrick Grimm.  I am the adopted son of Emperor Azusa Masaki Jyurai of the Great Living Wood Throne of the Stellar Empire of Jyurai.  Keeper of the Second Generation Tree, Saint Katherine the Mighty.  Forge Master to the Great Living Wood Throne.  Beloved brother to three sister-goddesses.  Knight Errant to the Lunar and Solar Diarchy of Equestria.  Champion of Ponyville.  The Living Locomotive.  And ace Valkyrie fighter pilot of the UN Spacy.  Swordsmith.  Gunsmith.  Weaponsmith.  Engineer.  Inventor.  Innovator.  And warrior.

“I bid you welcome in my humble home.”

##

A great deal of coffee was had.  Along with a good number of Joe’s donuts, courtesy of the food replicator that I was ever-so-grateful to Washu-chan for adding to my C-Space.

“I can’t believe a pony made these,” murmured Misa as she stared at her half-eaten donut.  “It’s...  just so good.”

And I had explained a great many things.  Not that I think that all of it has sunk in yet.  Least of all how I have four fiances waiting for me back home, but that it was fine because polygyny is how the Jyuraians roll with their low male-to-female gender ratio.

Except for Hayao, but then he wished he’d never heard about it once I told him that I knew of no way to get him there.  Except, that is, to hitch the long ride with me.  Which might be so long that he may pass away from old age before we even got close.

“What are you gonna tell Minmei?” asked Hikaru.

I shrugged.  “The truth.”

“That’s it?”

“Well, she’s gonna have to make a choice.  Because whether I like it or not I’m eventually gonna be gone.  And this is a one-shot thing.  If she misses this train?  There won’t be another one along if she changes her mind.”

“But that’s not fair to her!”

“It is perfectly fair!  The thing is that she has a choice.  I never got that with this getting bounced from one world to another.  Besides,” I said, subsiding, ”... she’s young.  At her age, she can afford to say no.  She can move on and find someone else.”

“But still!  Four wives?” cried out Hikaru in astoundment.  “Five if you include Minmei!?”

“And one of them is only thirteen,” said Max.  “Jesus Christ, you really are a cradle robber, aren’t you?”

I sighed.  “Not by choice.”

“What do you mean?” asked Misa.

“Well, Yuki’s family is pretty loaded.  A lot of the old families in Okayama are.  And sometimes local thugs think that a good way to cash in would be to kidnap a child to ransom them back to their family.  And they usually do pay out, if for no other reason than to keep the whole thing quiet.  That whole Japan-ism about maintaining appearances, you know.

“Yuki was targeted that way.  But I happened to be there.  It wasn’t by my hand, but the thug I incapacitated was killed when his partner ran over his body with the getaway car.  And Yuki saw what happened.  It changed her.  Flipped some kind of switch from Child Mind to Adult Mind.

“I mean, sure.  She was still a child.  But the mentality had all shifted.  Suddenly the games her friends played, the secrets they whispered to each other, and even the social dynamics... all that was suddenly meaningless to her.

“And combine that with absentee parent syndrome... while her grandfather owned the family business, her mother and father saw to the day-to-day operations.  Which meant that they weren’t around quite a lot.  She’d barely ever see them at all.  And all her friends?  Just social climbers, really.  She couldn’t tell them about how lonely she felt or how much she needed a hug.

“What mattered to her was me.  I caught her and took the hit from the car that would have killed her.  I kept her safe in my arms even as I got rolled over the top of the car and slammed back down into the pavement.”

“Oh man,” said Kakizaki soberly.  “You were her hero.”

“Yeah.  And I still am.  Because Sasami wanted a friend her age, a partner in crime as it were, she fanned the flames and told her everything she needed to know about me.  She even promised her a Royal Tree - which she got, by the way.”

I shook my head and sighed.  “You guys thought Minmei was persistent?  Yuki was relentless and even frightening in some ways.  I’d caught her in my bed several times.  At first she thought she could just sneak in there and spend the night with me, but then she just kept doing it because she like how it smelled like me.  She’d take afternoon naps there whenever I didn’t catch her at it.”

“You’re kidding!” gaped Hikaru.

I shook my head.  “No.  The absolute peak was when we left on a mission of sorts.  We knew it was going to be dangerous because there were assassins tracking us, so I told Yuki that she had to stay behind.

“She didn’t.  Instead she stowed away by hiding in my truck when I loaded it onto one of the ships.”

“Oh no!” moaned Misa, no doubt extrapolating the rest.

I nodded and went on.  “With that she had tied my hands.  While the mission was not critically time-sensitive, it was a bad idea regardless to spend time bringing her back to Earth.  We were running silent, and that meant we couldn’t go anywhere nearly as fast as we really wanted to.

“The only thing I could do then was train her.  She had already been picking up the sword style from Yosho-dono.  But because of the inherent danger from just being with us... well, we had to step up her training for her own sake after that.

“And Sasami...  Sweet Goddess, Sasami was so horribly crushed.  She’d made Yuki promise to stay behind, but Yuki broke that promise.  Sasami had to help me train her, and it broke my poor little sister’s heart.  You see, she was definitely upset about Yuki breaking that promise, so she didn’t have any trouble summoning up the will to crack down on her during the training.  But the trouble with Yuki is that she thrives like you wouldn’t believe under those conditions.  Hell, she glows!  She loves it, craves it, even.  And that simply confused the hell out of Sasami-chan.”

“But... you make it sound so terrible,” said Max “If it was so terrible then how could she love it?”

“Oh, it was terrible alright,” I agreed.  “You see, we had no idea how much time we had.  We could have been attacked at any moment and Yuki would very likely have had to fend for herself against a trained assassin.  So Washu-chan created a restorative beverage.  Tasted like a matcha smoothie, but it healed the body, restored the biochemistry, and provided enough protein, carbohydrates, and nutrients so that a few minutes rest was the same as two days rest.  She could go at it again and again and again.  It was like putting a child through Marine Corps boot camp.  And yet, it was just like I said.

“She.  Loved.  It.

“She loved it so much that she glowed.  It didn’t matter how hard we pushed her, she welcomed it.  If not for her smile - sweet Goddess that smile of hers is beautiful - and her spirit you might think that she wasn’t human.  But Yuki, it seems, is special like that.”

“How could you do something like that!” snarled Kakizaki.

“BELAY THAT!” snapped Misa so sharply that Kakizaki shot straight up into attention.

She then looked at everyone else levelly.  “I want all of you to know this: that little girl was no freak of nature.  Nor did Garrick turn her into a monster.  Yuki is a young woman chasing her dream.  And when a girl chases her dream like that, she’ll move mountains for it.  I know... because once I was just like her.”

We were all quiet at that.  Hikaru had some idea, at least.  I knew for certain, though.  Misa was just like Yuki in that she drove herself through her education as quickly as possible, going into the military academy at sixteen years old and graduating, with honors and head of her class, in only two years.  And all that for one man who wound up dead in a cowardly attack between Earth and Mars just as she had graduated.

So now, all she had left was this.  The Spacy and The Mission.  What had been a means to an end had become the end itself - one that Misa had to settle for.

Hikaru and I exchanged looks, silently communicating in a way that only wingmen could.

Go to her!

What?  Why me?

Because I’m the wrong man for this and out of everyone else here you’ve known her the longest!

Oh fine!

Hikaru went over to the love seat, sat down next to Misa, and put a hand on her shoulder.  Much to everyone’s surprise, she suddenly latched on to him, shoving her face against his shoulder.  It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she was silently crying her eyes out.  She didn’t even sob.

“So... yeah.  That’s Yuki,” I said and sighed.  “As long as I’m alive, I don’t think there’s any one person or force anywhere could break her.  And even then I have my doubts.  Because if she had been Juliet, she would have gone up to heaven and tore it all down to get Romeo back.”

“.... That girl is gonna be scary as hell once she grows up, isn’t she?” said Kakizaki.

“Dragonball, she is all that, and being educated by a royal family (some of whom have skills that would make them ninja by your reckoning), two super-geniuses, two space pirates who are both renown throughout the galaxy, and the ditziest yet most skilled police detective in the galaxy.  Oh, and the matriarchal head of said royal family?  She’s a fucking master manipulator who could have made Machiavelli do her bidding with a smile on his face.  And she’s taken a SPECIAL INTEREST in Yuki.  She might be the youngest of my wives, but she’s going to be utter nightmare fuel for anyone that stands against me and my family.”

“Jesus Christ, Garrick,” said Max, this time in a tone of mild wonderment.  “How the hell do you manage all of that?”

“Barely.  The main thing that makes it all work out is that they all love me and want me to be happy.  And they definitely like to work together.”

I then felt the heat creeping up my face as I suddenly realized what I had just implied.  Max went pink as well.  Kakizaki fell out of his seat, laughing.  Misa and Hikaru simply gave me astonished looks.

“Right,” I said sheepishly as I got up.  “Okay, there’s one other person here that I think you guys should meet.  You’ll need to follow me.  She can’t really leave her room.”

Everyone followed as I led them up the stairs and down the hall with the windows that looked out into the garage.

“I hope that’s not because something you did!” said Misa, her voice spinning up towards righteous fury.

“No no!  Nothing like that.  It’s just... well, she’s not what you’d call ‘ambulatory’.”

I then opened the door to my garden and Katherine greeted me with shimmering light dancing everywhere.

“GAR~KUUUUNNNNN~!”

“Hey Sprout!” I said as I went up to her trunk and laid my hand against it.  “Have you been growing again?  I’d swear your canopy is a few inches higher.”

Katherine giggled sweetly.

“Just a little itty-bitty-bit of left over energy from being in Equestria.  I think I’m all done with my growth spurt now.”

“What is going on?” said Hikaru.  “I can hear a girl’s voice, but I can’t see her!”

“Fuzzy,” said Max.  “I think it's the Tree.”

“What do you mean?  Trees can’t talk!”

“Yeah-huh they can, Mr. Fuzzy!”

“Is this some kind of trick?”

“Nope!  But you sure are funny to watch, Mr. Fuzzy.”

“HEY!”

Max and Hayao were looking around uncertainly, But Misa...

...Misa Hayase spread her arms wide and raised her smiling face to the beams of light, the tear tracks on her face the only sign that not even five minutes ago she was mourning the loss of the man she loved.

“Oh this is amazing!” she cooed.  “This is really you?  A tree?  But why?  I mean, I believe you, Katherine, but I don’t understand how you came to be!”

“It’s okay, Misa-chan!  Lotsa people don’t get it right away.  Lemme do the super-shorty version.

“There was a Goddess who was also a tree that liked a man so much that she gave her seeds to him and his people.  This was the First Generation of the Royal Trees of Jyurai, and my mommy is one of them!  I’m a Second Generation Royal Tree, and when I finally make a seed of my own, that will be a Third Generation Tree.

“The generations are the important part, ya know?  Cause we all get our power from our parents.  So, Grandmother Tsunami is the Goddess - the most powerful of all.  The First Generation is not as powerful, but still strong enough that anyone they pair up with is automatically in the line to become the next Emperor.  Second Generation - That’s me! - are pretty powerful too, but we got some restrictions.  Can’t use my power to hurt anyone, not even the bad guys, unless I get permission from my mamma, the Emperor, or Grandmother Tsunami.  Third Generation Trees are still pretty strong, but they have to team up to be even close to my level, and they have the same restrictions.

“There are Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Generation Royal Trees, but they can’t think or talk like me.  Except for having lotsa power, they’re pretty normal.

“Okay,” said Misa as she slowly began to internalize all that.  “But Garrick isn’t part of any of your Royal Families.  Why did he get you?”
Katherine’s giggle filled the air.

“That’s the cool part!  See, Princess Sasami?  She got hurt really bad a long time ago.  Like, she actually died!  But when it happened, she was next to Grandmother’s Tree - The Mother of Trees.

“And Grandmother Tsunami liked Sasami.  She liked her so much, that she healed her by becoming part of her.  Now, Princess Sasami and Grandmother Tsunami are the same person.  And because Princess Sasami loves Gar-kun so much, Grandmother Tsunami told mamma to make me just for him!

Everyone turned their eyes to me.

I sighed somewhat wistfully, remembering those first highly emotional days.

“Put yourselves in my shoes,” I said.  “Family already destroyed.  Yanked out of your homeworld, put in a place that invalidates your Faith.  There is no heaven anymore.  No going back to the family who’ve passed on in the end.  The idea of your spirit withering in oblivion starts consume you.

“And then there she is.  A child who is a princess... and in her shadow lurks a bonafide Goddess.  And both share the same heart.  A heart so big and filled with so much love...”

I had to stop because I began to tear up, thinking of that moment - a moment that felt like both ages and minutes ago.

“She reached out to me,” I continued quietly.  “Called me her brother.  And I couldn’t turn away from that.  My beloved little sister saved my life that day.  And I will forever love and cherish her for that, and all the other gifts she’s given me.”

Misa then surprised me.

She came over and sat by me, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“Garrick, I am happy that you met someone as wonderful as that little girl.  Because if not for her, then I don’t know if you would be here or not.”

Hikaru was the next one to come over.  “Yeah, Robber.  She’s right.  I’m glad your here, too.  I don’t know what we’d do without you, man.”

“Count us in on that, too, boss!” said Kakizaki, with Max nodding as well.

“Thanks guys,” I said, feeling honest relief wash over me.  I was glad that I would no longer have to keep this to myself alone.  Now I had friends who knew everything, and were not one bit repulsed by any of it.

Well, maybe they were a bit weirded out by the whole plural marriage thing, but they seemed to at least understand the reasons for it.

“We better get back out there before anyone shows up to check on us.  Katherine here is fooling their sensors, but that won’t hold up against an in-person inspection.”

“Wait, can’t we use this to escape?” asked Hikaru.

I sighed.  “We could, but that’s not a good idea.”

“Well why’s that?” asked Max.  “I mean, it’s not like they’d notice, right?”

“Yes, that’s true,” I replied.  “But the thing is that there are events that absolutely must take place.”

“What do you mean, Garrick?” asked Misa.  “It sounds like you know what’s going to happen in advance.”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

“And you didn’t do anything!?” said Misa, aghast.

“I’ve done lots of things.  The Daedalus Attack?  It was originally your idea, but you wouldn’t have thought of it until the main gun misfired.  I intentionally brought up the idea of a potential misfire, knowing that Roy would send that up the chain of command the very moment that briefing was finished.”

“And what about the misfold that brought us to Pluto’s orbit?”

“I arrived here just afterwards.  Hikaru, you remember that hull breech you sent your plane through?  I nearly got blown out through that breech before the emergency bulkhead closed over it.”

“Just then!?” cried out Hikaru in shock.  “But you were acting so cool and natural!  Not like someone who just... came from another world against his will!”

“Well... The thing is that I get a bit of advanced warning about when it’s going to happen.  This metaphysical tether that Tsunami has on me and Katherine here can only be stressed so much, and after each jump it takes time to recover.  Unfortunately, that amount of time varies from place to place because time doesn’t always move at the same rate in each universe.

“And Washu doesn’t tell me what that time differential is because she and everyone else don’t want me to worry about it.”

“...Harsh,” said Max after a long silence.

“Tell me about it.  The one thing we got going for us is, thanks to advanced science and the Royal Trees, I and my loved ones have lifespans that can be measured by thousands of years.  But anyhow...  I knew that I was going to slide again.  I had a few days.  Just enough to say goodbye to everyone back in Equestria.”

“I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around the whole ponies thing,” said Hikaru.  “Wasn’t that at least a little bit weird for you?”

“Sometimes.  The language barrier was a bit of an issue for a while.  They could only manage Japanese because of the simpler phonetics, and I had trouble making some of their own phonetic sounds.  I was stuck with the pony equivalent of a Russian speaking bad English the entire time I was there.”
Hayao started laughing at that.  “...Okay, now that’s just funny.  You?  Sounding like that?  HAH!”

“Yeah yeah, yuck it up,” I grumbled.  “Look, let’s just get back out there before someone notices we’re gone.”

I said a quick goodbye to Katherine and as we made our way out, Misa asked the important question.

“Garrick, why do we need to stick this out?”

“Because there’s gonna be things that we need to make a record of.  Otherwise the politicians aren’t gonna believe us and stick their heads in the sand.  You got your digital camera, right?”

“Yeah, I do.  You know about that?”

I nodded.  “I also know that at some point you’re gonna drop it and it’ll shatter into a bout a million pieces.  I’m gonna be making a video recording myself, but it’ll be nice if we have yours as well, so make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“Right.”

##

The moment we were back outside my C-Space we noticed something right away.

“We’re in the middle of a space fold!” said Misa in shock.  “How long has this been going on for!?”

Katherine?  Do you know?

Yep.  About an hour.

“Katherine says it’s been about an hour.”

“Really?  She can tell?”

I nodded as I dismissed my door.  “Yeah, part of the special conditions that Katherine needs is that she has to be planted in a special unit just for her.  Otherwise she loses her connection to Tsunami and becomes a normal tree as her power wears out.  Typically, these special units form the core of a Jyuraian warship.  That’s not the case with my C-Space, unfortunately.  I got pulled from that universe before Katherine could be planted into one.    But I was lucky I had this in the first place and it does have a good sensor suite.  My C-Space may not be a star ship, but it comes real close.”

“Well, either way,” said Misa, “this means that that we’ve been missing for about ten days by now.”

I sighed and nodded unhappily.  “I hope Minmei is taking this well.  I don’t like the thought of her being heartbroken because they presumed us to be dead.”

Misa groaned at that.  “Oh, the paperwork!”

“What do you mean?” said Hayao.

“The bureaucracy,” said Misa morosely.  “It is hard to correct that kind of thing because when you die there’s all kinds of protections to keep people from using your identity for things like voter fraud.”

At about that point, we felt the ship defold.

“We’re out!” I said, then pointed to the view port.  “Misa, you may wanna record this.”

“What... OH!”

Everyone else gasped as they saw what was outside.  Masses and masses of Zentradi ships.

“There’s gotta be thousands of them!” said Max in amazement.

“Yeah, and you guys wanna know the scary part?”

“What’s that?” asked Hikaru.

“This is just one fleet out of hundreds in their forces.”

“YOU’RE KIDDING!” they all cried out.

I shook my head.  “I wish I was.  We’re up against a force so fantastically huge that they can’t even maintain centralized control over the whole thing.  It’s all broken up into mega-fleets like this, each with a supreme commander who calls all the shots.”

“Look at that!” said Hikaru.

“Is it a battle?” asked Hayao.

“No... it’s something else...”

“It looks like it’s big enough to swallow up the Earth,” said Misa.

“Not really,” I said.  “But it is huge.  It’s about one-quarter of the mass of our moon.”

“How the hell did they build something that big!?” said Hikaru.

“If their forces are really as massive as Garrick says,” said Misa thoughtfully.  “...it would make sense, really.  I wonder if they even really have a home world.”

“If they did,” I said, “it was blasted into stardust eons ago.  these guys?  They’re nothing but soldiers of an extinct society they call the Protoculture.  Mass produced clones to fight against an extra-galactic menace that would have eventually wiped out all life throughout the galaxy.”

“An extinct society?” said Misa.  “What happened?”

“What else happens when your army is essentially nothing but slaves?  They revolted.  And the sad and horrible thing about it is that while they did win, they had no idea about what to do with themselves afterwards.  And that wasn’t helped by the fact that this menace they were fighting against has remnants called the Supervision Army lingering throughout the Galaxy, every bit as lost and masterless as these Zentradi.”

“They’ve been like this for EONS!?” said Max in horror.  “But that can’t be!”

“Oh it can be.  The very highest echelons of their command structure view people like us as remainders of the Protoculture.  And to them, the Protoculture is every bit as much of an enemy as the Supervision Army.  And every time they come across a society that could possibly contaminate their warrior culture?  They destroy it.”

“You mean there’s no reasoning with them!?” said Misa in shock.

“Breetai can be reasoned with.  He’s a good person, believe it or not.  But the command structure above his level?  Not a chance.  They’re among the oldest of the Zentradi and far too set in their ways.”

“YOU’VE DAMNED US ALL!” roared Hayao and he hauled me up by the lapels.  I didn’t even flinch at this.

“Dragonball, what’s gotten into you!?” said Hikaru.

“We heard about that little present we gave to those prisoners we sent back.  It was all his idea!  All that music and stuff!”

“Mister Kakizaki, unhand Mister Grimm this instant,” snapped Misa sharply.  “He is still your ranking officer!”

Hayao looked as though he might try to push the matter, but thought better of it and let go, dropping me back down on my feet.

“Garrick hasn’t damned us,” said Misa before anyone else could say anything.  “This was a calculated risk.  We did that because culture is contagious.  It’s our hope that once it’s in the hands of their junior ranks that it will clandestinely spread like wildfire in the underbrush.”

“You mean we actually might have a chance?” said Max.

I nodded.  “We do.  And the more culture we bombard them with, the better our odds will be.”

“What happens now?” asked Hikaru.  “They had to have a reason for bringing us here.”

“There is.  We’re going to be questioned by their Supreme Commander, along with Commander Breetai and his executive.  Guys, I got a favor to ask of you.”

“What’s that?” asked Hikaru.

“Let me handle the talking.  It’s best if they don’t get the wrong idea about us, and right now they think that we’re some sort of ally to their enemy, the Supervision Army.”

“Do you really think you can do this without getting us into more trouble, Pilot?” asked Misa, this time in full-blown officer mode.

“I know I can, ma’am.  At the very least, I know I can sway Commander Breetai.  I think he has come to respect us.”

Misa thought about that for a moment.  “Very well then.  As long as you can keep us on their good side.  And you’re certain that we cannot negotiate with their upper level command?”

I shook my head.  “It’d be a miracle if they felt like sparing us, ma’am, but we can try.”

“Very well then, pilot.  You may speak for us.  And you better not screw this up or else I’ll make sure you’re up for Captain’s Mast.  IF we somehow get back in one piece.”

“No worries, ma’am.  The questioning has to happen.  But the great escape is something that must happen as well.  We’ll get home come hell or high water.”