[RFC] Being You is Deculture

[Black Aeronaut]

Ohhhh man.  I think I just figured out who's gonna be the expert cook in the household...

WARNING: SWALLOW BEFORE YOU READ THIS!  Also: Mildly NSFW.

It was the the same thing all over again.  We all watched gleefully as Millia and her two charges had their minds blown by the fine offerings of the Nyan-Nyan.

“And you Micronians eat like this all the time!?” cried out Millia.

“Eh, yes and no,” said Roy.  “Judging by what we found in the cargo holds, field rations are field rations, no matter where you go.  But as long as we’re home, we try to enjoy it when we can.”

“Well, I hope you’re ready for the big finish~,” said Minmei with an evil gleam in her eyes.  “I’d like you ladies to know I made this one myself, because I know just how much a girl loves her sweets~.”

The dishes were brought and my eyebrows shot to the top of my head.

“Tiramisu?” I said, looking at Minmei in surprise.  “When did you learn to make tiramisu?”

Minmei made a show of buffing her nails blithely.  “Oh, you know.  Chinese restaurant in trendy Yokohama.  It was only natural, especially since mother and father were leaning on me so heavily to take over the place so they can retire.”

“What is this... Tiramisu?” asked Millia.

Claudia cracked a grin and said, “Practically an orgasm for your tongue just waiting to happen.”

Misa gasped, scandalized by her friend.  “CLAUDIA!”

“...Do I even dare ask?” said Millia apprehensively.

“It’s nothing bad,” said Minmei reassuringly.  “In fact, you might say it’s one of the best things in the universe!  Just try it - I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

Millia looked a bit doubtful, but given her very recent experience with the previous fare, she must have figured that she didn’t have much to lose at this point.

She took a small bit from the corner of the confection with her fork and then brought it to her mouth.

She suddenly froze and her wide eyes glassed over.

It was the same look that Misa had on her face when she tried the coffee I got from Joe’s Donuts back in Canterlot - like as if all of creation was suddenly laid out before her for just an instant.

Almost painfully slowly, Millia swallowed and then visibly shuddered.

She slowly stood, as though she was afraid her legs wouldn’t support her, quietly asked where the privy was, and then disappeared into the back, wearing a stunned look the entire way.

Not one person at the table DIDN’T have a confused look on their face until Minmei suddenly spoke up:

“Okay, I know Mom’s recipe is good, but I’ve never seen anyone actually get off on it before!”

You could almost hear the clicking sound as the relays in everyone’s head closed all at once.  Slowly, all our eyes turned to Claudia, who suddenly had a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face.

“I WAS ONLY KIDDING!  I NEVER THOUGHT IT WAS POSSIBLE!”

God, I'm so fucking evil.  I'm probably gonna go to hell for that one.

Also, anyone accusing Garrick of being a Mary Sue isn't honestly reading this shit, because Minmei just made a proud Meltrandi warrior fucking cream her panties with her cooking.  If that's not a Crowning Moment of Awesome (if one that's a bit off the walls), then I don't know what is.

(Also, if 'Orgasmicly Delicious' isn't a trope, then I claim naming rights.)