[RFC] Being You is Deculture

[Black Aeronaut]

Okay, finally watched Macross Zero.

Man, that was some messed up shit.  Garrick would have been extremely unhappy with the 'Birdman' - Fighting, sorrow, and unhappiness are just one of those things about life.  It's sad and tragic, but you're never gonna be free of them.  Not completely.

So since it's not like Garrick can time travel...

"Wakey wakey you two love birds!"  Said Roy jubilantly.

Shin was the first to open his eyes.  Suddenly, he bolted upright in the bed.  "SARA!"

"nuh?" said the woman next to him as she slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes.

Shin didn't care about anything else.  He simply wrapped Sara Nome in a bone-crushing hug.

"Shin?" said Sara.  "But... where are we?  THE BIRDMAN!"

"Dealt with," I said with a grimm finality that was so vicious that it shocked the two into staring at me.

"Sorry," said Roy.  "Once I told Cradle Robber the story, he was out the nearest airlock so fast that it took me a second to figure out what he was doing."

"Roy!?" cried out Shin as he suddenly realized that not only was he not alone with only Sara, but also that his old commanding officer was present.  "What happened to you?  You look.... old."

Roy chuckled.  "It's been about twenty years, kid.  Besides, becoming a father will give you a few gray hairs."

"Father...  You mean...  Aries?"

Roy frowned with a wistful look in his eyes, then shook his head.

"Oh... Roy, who's this guy?"

Roy chuckled.  "This 'guy' is none other than the amazing Prince Garrick Grimm, Lord of Planet Abason, head of House Grimm, Forgemaster to the Throne of Jurai."

"What?"

"But we just call him Cradle Robber.  The dog."

"What?"

I sighed.  "Mother, quit laying it on so damn thick.  Sorry guys, name's Garrick and I was the one that pulled you two out of that fucking thing."

"The Birdman?" asked Shin.

"Yep.  And you don't need to worry about it any more.  It damn near killed itself once I explained how badly the Protoculture and itself fucked up."

"What do you mean?" asked Sara.  "Everyone was fighting over it!  It was horrible."

"Exactly," I said.  "They were fighting OVER IT."

Sara blinked.  "I don't understand."

I sighed.  Islander people.  So parochial.  "Okay.  What do you do with two little boys who found a sharp knife and are fighting over who gets to use it?"

Sara blinked again.  "I take the knife away from them before they can hurt themselves...  Oh!"

"Yeah.  It was a mistake to leave something like that lying around.  Even worse, it was PURPOSELY left there.  Imagine if that knife I was talking about suddenly exploded, killing the two boys just because they were fighting.  Goddamned pointless."

"But the war-"

"Was inevitable.  Trust me.  I know.  If the Anti-UN war didn't happen, then it would have been a different war over something else.  Besides, after the Birdman incident, what was left of the Anti-UN faction sat down with the leaders of the UN - figured that if there was the Birdman on our own world, then what other terrible things would be out there?  Everyone decided that it was in Humanity's best interests to set our differences aside and worry about the greater threat."

"So...  The Birdman?"

"Is gone," said Roy with grimm satisfaction in his voice.  "For good.  Garrick made damn sure of it."

I nodded.  "I drop-kicked that damn thing into a black hole.  I don't think it's gonna be an issue for anyone, ever.  Which, by the way, is now standard operating procedure every time we find another world with intelligent life."

"What do you mean?" asked Sara.

"We're traveling the stars, Sara.  And finding many other worlds that the Protoculture seeded.  And every single one of them has a Birdman on it.  So we destroy the damn things before they can ever become an issue.  But enough about that.  You guys got some visitors."

I opened the door and a woman that looked very much like Sara shot straight for her side of the bed.  "SISTER!!!"

Followed by a stoutly built man with thick lips, swarthy skin, and his hair in dreadlocks.  "Hoi, Shin!  Still need a backseater?"

Basically?  Sometime after Megaroad-1 leaves, but before Garrick gets yoinked, they stumble across the Birdman, with both Sara and Shin inside and in a state of suspended animation.  Garrick gets the whole story from Roy and is all kinds of righteously cheesed off.  He was off in his VF-4S before anyone could do anything to stop him.

Imagine how Birdman reacts seeing the Valkyrie coming at him with a Lighthawk Sword in hand.

What really pisses Garrick off the most about the Protoculture's Birdman Contingency: How the hell do you expect your ideal pacifist species to survive once they comes across the Zentradi or worse, the Supervision Army?  And regardless, it's an impossible expectation unless the entire world is like Maya - and even then, they'd never have any interest in going anywhere and the first Extinction Level Event that comes along is gonna wipe them all out.  There's a reason why evolutionary dead-ends are a thing, and Garrick is honestly appalled that the Protoculture were that stupid.

Actually, from what you said about Mina from M30, they sound every bit like the sort of imperialistic fucktards that get hoisted by their own petard - which is pretty much what happened!

Garrick later say that they universe is probably better off without them, and Mina will wholeheartedly agree on the matter.

Oh, and Mao and Edgar are on board Megaroad-1 for reasons.  Mao's wanderlust wasn't satisfied with just seeing the rest of the world.  She had to see more, so she got onto the Megaroad-1 as one of the colonists.  Edgar?  Because his last name is LaSalle, which means he isn't gonna let his little sister head off into deep space - even if Roy is taking good care of her.  You know how brothers can be.

Not sure if Mao and Edgar would be an item.