Chapter 3
What a Dim Bulb
Wednesday November 9, 2016, 4:03 PM
When Tomo and Yomi came back from their shopping trip, plastic bags of groceries loaded up in their hands, they came across the apartment manager absently pacing the second floor hallway. It would have been a halfway decent Osaka impression, had he not looked so wound up.
"Hey Brent, what's wrong?" Yomi asked.
"I still can't believe he won!" It was about the presidential election results, still unofficial, but looking very likely by this point.
"Yeah, I can't either. I mean, seriously, Trump?"
"That's what you get from crazy Americans," Tomo offered.
"Hey, I thought you were supporting him?"
Tomo clarified, as if it was completely obvious, "That's when I thought he wasn't going to win." Yomi unlocked the door and Brent followed them pair inside their apartment. "I mean, come on Hillary! Not once did she come back with 'What the heck?' or 'Why I oughtta...' No paper fan, even."
"So you were only supporting him as a joke?" Brent was exasperated.
"Oh, no. He's the only candidate to support a 'big beautiful wall'. And I think it's about time Americans publicly talk about how much they love BBWs."
Brent sighed, concluding that it was all a joke to her. It wasn't her country, after all. And honestly, she had backed off Trump quite a bit a week ago, when the Access Hollywood tape had come out. If there was one thing that Tomo didn't like, it was old perverts.
She and Yomi were the only residents with whom he could discuss politics with at all. Pretty much everyone else didn't care, and were just thinking about daily living until they returned to their home universe. Fujitaka had been around long enough to decide that Trump was bad for universities, and Sonomi long enough to decide that Trump would be good for business. But that was it. Mostly, he just had to kibbutz with Rob and Ben on the forums about it.
Yomi put a bunch of celery in the refrigerator, then turned to her friends. "You know, Donald Trump is pretty weird. Do you think he came in from another universe to the Metacontinuity? Sometimes, the guy seems like a cartoon character." With an aside to Tomo she said, "No offense."
"None taken."
Brent said, "I don't think so? I mean, I'm pretty sure I remember him being around from before, being on The Apprentice on TV and stuff. I guess if he was merged into our memories too? I don't think that's supposed to happen, but..." He was reminded of the silly arguments that dinosaur bones and isotope ratios were all put there by Satan to test our faith in Genesis chapter 1. What can you do when the gods mess with causality?
As if in answer to his unspoken question, Yomi suggested, "We could just ask Belldandy."
"I don't think we need to ask her."
Tomo spoke simultaneously over Brent, "I wouldn't bother her."
Yomi sighed. The two of them had to get over their fear of Belldandy, because she obviously loved them like she loved everyone else. It's just that sometimes you yell at people you love when they act like idiots. Or yell at people you just like, anyway.
"At least James will be happy to Make America Great Again," Yomi said, referring to the manager at the Pensacola apartments. She had gotten an earful at the Halloween party.
"Ecstatic, I'm sure. America will be rebecoming the greatness we never weren't, just like Papa Colbert promised. It'll be a thousand points of light all over again, except Mexico will pay the electric bill."
Yomi lacked the cultural context to grok any of that rant, but it did remind her of something. "Does that mean that the point of light downstairs is going to get fixed soon?"
"Oh right, the broken bulb."
Tomo said, "I think he's waiting for Rob to come help him fix it."
"And Ben too. You know, to turn the ladder," Yomi added.
Brent deadpanned, "Ha ha very funny guys."
"That ought to lighten the mood," Tomo put in 'helpfully'.
"Yeah, you don't need to get so incandescent about politics." Yomi averred, "We're going to keep going until you fix it."
Brent gave in, "Alright, alright, I surrender. I'll go find a ladder."
Brent wondered off to do his actual job, finally. Yomi felt that even though she didn't know more about wacky American politics than when they began, at least the conversation was illuminating.
What a Dim Bulb
Wednesday November 9, 2016, 4:03 PM
When Tomo and Yomi came back from their shopping trip, plastic bags of groceries loaded up in their hands, they came across the apartment manager absently pacing the second floor hallway. It would have been a halfway decent Osaka impression, had he not looked so wound up.
"Hey Brent, what's wrong?" Yomi asked.
"I still can't believe he won!" It was about the presidential election results, still unofficial, but looking very likely by this point.
"Yeah, I can't either. I mean, seriously, Trump?"
"That's what you get from crazy Americans," Tomo offered.
"Hey, I thought you were supporting him?"
Tomo clarified, as if it was completely obvious, "That's when I thought he wasn't going to win." Yomi unlocked the door and Brent followed them pair inside their apartment. "I mean, come on Hillary! Not once did she come back with 'What the heck?' or 'Why I oughtta...' No paper fan, even."
"So you were only supporting him as a joke?" Brent was exasperated.
"Oh, no. He's the only candidate to support a 'big beautiful wall'. And I think it's about time Americans publicly talk about how much they love BBWs."
Brent sighed, concluding that it was all a joke to her. It wasn't her country, after all. And honestly, she had backed off Trump quite a bit a week ago, when the Access Hollywood tape had come out. If there was one thing that Tomo didn't like, it was old perverts.
She and Yomi were the only residents with whom he could discuss politics with at all. Pretty much everyone else didn't care, and were just thinking about daily living until they returned to their home universe. Fujitaka had been around long enough to decide that Trump was bad for universities, and Sonomi long enough to decide that Trump would be good for business. But that was it. Mostly, he just had to kibbutz with Rob and Ben on the forums about it.
Yomi put a bunch of celery in the refrigerator, then turned to her friends. "You know, Donald Trump is pretty weird. Do you think he came in from another universe to the Metacontinuity? Sometimes, the guy seems like a cartoon character." With an aside to Tomo she said, "No offense."
"None taken."
Brent said, "I don't think so? I mean, I'm pretty sure I remember him being around from before, being on The Apprentice on TV and stuff. I guess if he was merged into our memories too? I don't think that's supposed to happen, but..." He was reminded of the silly arguments that dinosaur bones and isotope ratios were all put there by Satan to test our faith in Genesis chapter 1. What can you do when the gods mess with causality?
As if in answer to his unspoken question, Yomi suggested, "We could just ask Belldandy."
"I don't think we need to ask her."
Tomo spoke simultaneously over Brent, "I wouldn't bother her."
Yomi sighed. The two of them had to get over their fear of Belldandy, because she obviously loved them like she loved everyone else. It's just that sometimes you yell at people you love when they act like idiots. Or yell at people you just like, anyway.
"At least James will be happy to Make America Great Again," Yomi said, referring to the manager at the Pensacola apartments. She had gotten an earful at the Halloween party.
"Ecstatic, I'm sure. America will be rebecoming the greatness we never weren't, just like Papa Colbert promised. It'll be a thousand points of light all over again, except Mexico will pay the electric bill."
Yomi lacked the cultural context to grok any of that rant, but it did remind her of something. "Does that mean that the point of light downstairs is going to get fixed soon?"
"Oh right, the broken bulb."
Tomo said, "I think he's waiting for Rob to come help him fix it."
"And Ben too. You know, to turn the ladder," Yomi added.
Brent deadpanned, "Ha ha very funny guys."
"That ought to lighten the mood," Tomo put in 'helpfully'.
"Yeah, you don't need to get so incandescent about politics." Yomi averred, "We're going to keep going until you fix it."
Brent gave in, "Alright, alright, I surrender. I'll go find a ladder."
Brent wondered off to do his actual job, finally. Yomi felt that even though she didn't know more about wacky American politics than when they began, at least the conversation was illuminating.
"Kitto daijoubu da yo." - Sakura Kinomoto