(03-16-2022, 02:02 PM)Inquisitive Raven Wrote: Just thought you'd like to know that you have Minako dumping Artemis on the floor twice in this scene with no indication that he climbed back into her lap between them.
Another possible error spotted: When you introduce Makoto, you give her name as Makoto Kino (Western name order, AFAIK, i.e. Makoto is her given name) but most of the other characters appearing in this chapter for the first time are introduced using Japanese name order.
Thanks for catching these. I've corrected them and a couple other small things.
-- Bob
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber. I have been
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....