RE: Russian lawmakers authorize Putin to use military force outside the country
03-23-2022, 04:07 AM (This post was last modified: 03-23-2022, 04:08 AM by Labster.)
03-23-2022, 04:07 AM (This post was last modified: 03-23-2022, 04:08 AM by Labster.)
Where are they now? Ukraine Edition
Viktor Yanukovych was President of Ukraine, but ousted by his people for corruption and opposing European integration. Nowadays, he lives in comfort in Belarus, awaiting Russia to restore him to his rightful place on the throne of Ukraine. Though Russia is rumored to pick someone younger from a different party when it finally wins the war. So much for loyalty and cowardice.
Petro Poroshenko was the next President, and was recently under quasi-house arrest for corruption. But the chocolate magnate has a new job -- he is now running a brigade of Ukranian national guard that he paid for. As far as I can tell this is actually operating as part of the Territorial Defence Forces and not as a private army, so that's cool. He was on TV holding a Kalashnikov while making threatening words to Russia.
Alexei Navalny was once a candidate for President of Russia. Well, he just got sentenced to another 9 years in prison for fraud. It's almost like they never want him to get out of the gulag.
Gerhard Schröder was a beloved Chancellor of Germany, who got some jobs in Russian-related businesses after he left office, like heading up the now-doomed Nord Stream pipeline. He said some stuff about how the thing in Kosovo was basically the same as the invasion of Crimea. Earlier this year, he joined the board of Gazprom. Once the current war broke out, he decided to go to Moscow on his own accord, to mediate the conflict. Even though no one asked him to do it. Now Gerd is under investigation for crimes against humanity in Germany, and persona non grata in his own political party.
-- One of the great things about this war is that we can finally find out who has drunk the Russian kool-aid in our governments, and start investigations to see if they're on the take too. About half of our farthest-right US Congresscritters are making mouth noises supporting Russia despite everything, which will help us to vote the bums out.
-- January 6 rioter granted asylum in Belarus
-- Russian court cancels Peppa Pig trademark because the United States has too many sanctions. No, really.
-- Gonna go out on a limb and say Boris Johnson is probably upset
-- Russian general Badanov missing after Ukraine air strike, based on intelligence from moose and squirrel.
-- Speaking of air strikes, the VDV still has not established air superiority, nor does it look like they ever will
-- Zelensky starts describing Russian pilots as also having an empty space where their brain is, to match the empty space where their heart is, without which they are not human.
-- I feel kind of bad about dehumanization but I understand it
-- We can all hope Russian pilots get additional empty spots on their organs courtesy of the Ghost of Kyiv.
-- Zelensky seems to be less angry at the Russian infantry, though, encouraging them to leave or defect
-- Shopping mall bombed to smithereens
-- TikToker who posted video of Ukranian vehicles parked near shopping mall under arrest
-- It's just weird looking at pictures of this massive building collapsed, and then there's an advertising poster stand in front of it, intact, and telling you to talk to Grandpa about his gas bill. I fundamentally don't understand why people start aggressive wars. Like I get the theory, but why would you ever do that?
-- Older escapees from Mariupol say that they doubt the city can be rebuilt in their lifetimes, the damage is so extensive.
-- Ukranian forces seem to be making gains
-- Both sides seem to be running low on food and fuel in the war zone. Ukraine claims Russians only have 3 days left.
-- Russia planned to have taken some supplies from cities by now, but instead have been busy exploding cities instead.
-- Occupied Kherson also running out of food and medicine
-- More sanctions coming. US may sanction the entire membership of the Russian Duma.
-- Seriously, how many yachts do these oligarchs have? (possible explanation?)
-- Estonia calls for a larger, permanent NATO force in the Baltic and Poland
-- 3.5 million refugees have left Ukraine
-- Russia continues to blame NATO and cancel culture for the war
-- Belarus was going to go to Ukraine but then Andrei forgot his sunglasses so the whole convoy had to go back home so he could pick them up. Sorry Russia, it's Andrei's fault. On the way there now, but worried that Ivan forgot his deodorant and we'll have to turn back again. Logistics are hard.
Viktor Yanukovych was President of Ukraine, but ousted by his people for corruption and opposing European integration. Nowadays, he lives in comfort in Belarus, awaiting Russia to restore him to his rightful place on the throne of Ukraine. Though Russia is rumored to pick someone younger from a different party when it finally wins the war. So much for loyalty and cowardice.
Petro Poroshenko was the next President, and was recently under quasi-house arrest for corruption. But the chocolate magnate has a new job -- he is now running a brigade of Ukranian national guard that he paid for. As far as I can tell this is actually operating as part of the Territorial Defence Forces and not as a private army, so that's cool. He was on TV holding a Kalashnikov while making threatening words to Russia.
Alexei Navalny was once a candidate for President of Russia. Well, he just got sentenced to another 9 years in prison for fraud. It's almost like they never want him to get out of the gulag.
Gerhard Schröder was a beloved Chancellor of Germany, who got some jobs in Russian-related businesses after he left office, like heading up the now-doomed Nord Stream pipeline. He said some stuff about how the thing in Kosovo was basically the same as the invasion of Crimea. Earlier this year, he joined the board of Gazprom. Once the current war broke out, he decided to go to Moscow on his own accord, to mediate the conflict. Even though no one asked him to do it. Now Gerd is under investigation for crimes against humanity in Germany, and persona non grata in his own political party.
-- One of the great things about this war is that we can finally find out who has drunk the Russian kool-aid in our governments, and start investigations to see if they're on the take too. About half of our farthest-right US Congresscritters are making mouth noises supporting Russia despite everything, which will help us to vote the bums out.
-- January 6 rioter granted asylum in Belarus
-- Russian court cancels Peppa Pig trademark because the United States has too many sanctions. No, really.
-- Gonna go out on a limb and say Boris Johnson is probably upset
-- Russian general Badanov missing after Ukraine air strike, based on intelligence from moose and squirrel.
-- Speaking of air strikes, the VDV still has not established air superiority, nor does it look like they ever will
-- Zelensky starts describing Russian pilots as also having an empty space where their brain is, to match the empty space where their heart is, without which they are not human.
-- I feel kind of bad about dehumanization but I understand it
-- We can all hope Russian pilots get additional empty spots on their organs courtesy of the Ghost of Kyiv.
-- Zelensky seems to be less angry at the Russian infantry, though, encouraging them to leave or defect
-- Shopping mall bombed to smithereens
-- TikToker who posted video of Ukranian vehicles parked near shopping mall under arrest
-- It's just weird looking at pictures of this massive building collapsed, and then there's an advertising poster stand in front of it, intact, and telling you to talk to Grandpa about his gas bill. I fundamentally don't understand why people start aggressive wars. Like I get the theory, but why would you ever do that?
-- Older escapees from Mariupol say that they doubt the city can be rebuilt in their lifetimes, the damage is so extensive.
-- Ukranian forces seem to be making gains
-- Both sides seem to be running low on food and fuel in the war zone. Ukraine claims Russians only have 3 days left.
-- Russia planned to have taken some supplies from cities by now, but instead have been busy exploding cities instead.
-- Occupied Kherson also running out of food and medicine
-- More sanctions coming. US may sanction the entire membership of the Russian Duma.
-- Seriously, how many yachts do these oligarchs have? (possible explanation?)
-- Estonia calls for a larger, permanent NATO force in the Baltic and Poland
-- 3.5 million refugees have left Ukraine
-- Russia continues to blame NATO and cancel culture for the war
-- Belarus was going to go to Ukraine but then Andrei forgot his sunglasses so the whole convoy had to go back home so he could pick them up. Sorry Russia, it's Andrei's fault. On the way there now, but worried that Ivan forgot his deodorant and we'll have to turn back again. Logistics are hard.
"Kitto daijoubu da yo." - Sakura Kinomoto