There we go - I think this is better pacing than before.
If I do write up the "girls see the sights the first weekend" thing, it'll be in a side-story. I won't write up the "teen-aged girls buy clothes" side-story, because it doesn't add anything to the plot.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
If I do write up the "girls see the sights the first weekend" thing, it'll be in a side-story. I won't write up the "teen-aged girls buy clothes" side-story, because it doesn't add anything to the plot.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012