Likewise, kudos. Excellent all around.
From your earlier comments, I expected some difficulty in the hire-the-Sabers scene, but I did *not* expect Sylia to refuse outright. (Nor did I expect the diamond to prove worthless - despite it having been mentioned just a chapter or so back that Doug got jewelry-quality gems made on order...)
Somehow I never made the connection between the Quincy mystery and the "Doug mustn't know about transfictionality yet" principle which has been around for so long. Excellently done. (Do I remember correctly that Doug's middle name has not previously been mentioned? A quick grep through the text doesn't find anything obvious...)
I shudder to think what's going to become of Lisa with the new Sailor thing. Especially if she has trouble figuring out how to change back. Her magegift I expected, though - but it was nicely done, and I the apportation bit is a well-planted gun.
The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang scene broke me as soon as I recognized it, when the wings swept back; you caught that turn of phrase just perfectly, it captures the feel of that cut-down-the-telephone-poles wings-opening scene from the book exactly right.
I have six errata, of varying degree, to point out; two are typos, three are phrasing suggestions and one is an error in source material. Should I post them here, or send them privately, or what?
From your earlier comments, I expected some difficulty in the hire-the-Sabers scene, but I did *not* expect Sylia to refuse outright. (Nor did I expect the diamond to prove worthless - despite it having been mentioned just a chapter or so back that Doug got jewelry-quality gems made on order...)
Somehow I never made the connection between the Quincy mystery and the "Doug mustn't know about transfictionality yet" principle which has been around for so long. Excellently done. (Do I remember correctly that Doug's middle name has not previously been mentioned? A quick grep through the text doesn't find anything obvious...)
I shudder to think what's going to become of Lisa with the new Sailor thing. Especially if she has trouble figuring out how to change back. Her magegift I expected, though - but it was nicely done, and I the apportation bit is a well-planted gun.
The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang scene broke me as soon as I recognized it, when the wings swept back; you caught that turn of phrase just perfectly, it captures the feel of that cut-down-the-telephone-poles wings-opening scene from the book exactly right.
I have six errata, of varying degree, to point out; two are typos, three are phrasing suggestions and one is an error in source material. Should I post them here, or send them privately, or what?