Really enjoyed it overall; September was a darn good month for fickage; two new EPU Symphony pieces, and a Drunkard's Walk update.
I still have to come up with some art for this piece, though. I can't help but picture Chris as a dark-haired and freckled Troubadour, though, and I *know* that ain't right...
I have no idea whether it was intentional or not, but the Skee-ball arcade was a nice touch, esp. if Nekomi is in fact swarming with divinities; as Kevin Smith tells us, God *loves* Skee-ball.
It's also nice to see Senbei used in an OMG fic of any stripe; I admit to a soft spot for the little Adam Ant-wannabe. (Besides, he might actually manage to break Doug with his dreaded "Happy-happy" dance.) I'm also pleased to note that Doug has managed to pull his head out of his rear end about the Goddesses, or at least unclenched somewhat; after the teaser and first chapter, I was worried he'd be pulling a repeat of what happened with the Sabres. Telling off Megatokyo's greatest high-heeled vigilantes is one thing, but if he'd popped off on _Belldandy_ the way he'd popped off on Sylia, I would have lost a *lot* of sympathy for the character, to put it mildly.
Smallish nit to pick; (and forgive me if someone else has touched on this, I haven't read all the comments yet.) By and large, you guys have got the characters' "voices" down to a tee, with the sole exception of our boy Toshiyuki. To me, he seemed *way* off. His dialogue was more appropriate to Shutaro Mendo than to any speech pattern I've seen him use in the translated manga. He's a rich bastard, but he's not terribly snobbish- if any antagonist in AMG fits that bill, it'd be Sayoko, who seems to be simply the Japanese equivalent of Cordelia Chase. I've never seen him speak so "formally", either, which I suppose is what brought Mendo to mind. Not to mention that Aoshima is many things, but a "typical" Japanese racist he has never been. He has caucasian friends- Dave Proter, f'rinstance, the American Kart-racer, as well as Dave's girlfriend whose name escapes me for the moment. At least in the canon (and, I fully admit, this part of that story wasn't touched on in OMB, so I suppose this may not apply in your universe) Proter wasn't just a ringer he'd called in, but was apparently a friend; he refers to Aoshima as "buddy" and "ol' pal", IIRC, and I certainly interpreted that as something other than a mere colloquialism.
Anyway, aside from that singular instance of OOC behaviour- and I freely admit that that's only my opinion- I really enjoyed it, and am eagerly awaiting further chapters.
Obligatory Crack Weaseling: What would happen if Doug ripped a copy of the Gods CD and played it full blast at Mara?
I still have to come up with some art for this piece, though. I can't help but picture Chris as a dark-haired and freckled Troubadour, though, and I *know* that ain't right...
I have no idea whether it was intentional or not, but the Skee-ball arcade was a nice touch, esp. if Nekomi is in fact swarming with divinities; as Kevin Smith tells us, God *loves* Skee-ball.
It's also nice to see Senbei used in an OMG fic of any stripe; I admit to a soft spot for the little Adam Ant-wannabe. (Besides, he might actually manage to break Doug with his dreaded "Happy-happy" dance.) I'm also pleased to note that Doug has managed to pull his head out of his rear end about the Goddesses, or at least unclenched somewhat; after the teaser and first chapter, I was worried he'd be pulling a repeat of what happened with the Sabres. Telling off Megatokyo's greatest high-heeled vigilantes is one thing, but if he'd popped off on _Belldandy_ the way he'd popped off on Sylia, I would have lost a *lot* of sympathy for the character, to put it mildly.
Smallish nit to pick; (and forgive me if someone else has touched on this, I haven't read all the comments yet.) By and large, you guys have got the characters' "voices" down to a tee, with the sole exception of our boy Toshiyuki. To me, he seemed *way* off. His dialogue was more appropriate to Shutaro Mendo than to any speech pattern I've seen him use in the translated manga. He's a rich bastard, but he's not terribly snobbish- if any antagonist in AMG fits that bill, it'd be Sayoko, who seems to be simply the Japanese equivalent of Cordelia Chase. I've never seen him speak so "formally", either, which I suppose is what brought Mendo to mind. Not to mention that Aoshima is many things, but a "typical" Japanese racist he has never been. He has caucasian friends- Dave Proter, f'rinstance, the American Kart-racer, as well as Dave's girlfriend whose name escapes me for the moment. At least in the canon (and, I fully admit, this part of that story wasn't touched on in OMB, so I suppose this may not apply in your universe) Proter wasn't just a ringer he'd called in, but was apparently a friend; he refers to Aoshima as "buddy" and "ol' pal", IIRC, and I certainly interpreted that as something other than a mere colloquialism.
Anyway, aside from that singular instance of OOC behaviour- and I freely admit that that's only my opinion- I really enjoyed it, and am eagerly awaiting further chapters.
Obligatory Crack Weaseling: What would happen if Doug ripped a copy of the Gods CD and played it full blast at Mara?