- An alarm that goes off in the presence of anyone speaking French, or speaking in a French accent. Quirk: also goes off when subjected to the smell of French Bread, French Fries, or French Toast. May well be installed on board and attached to a nonlethal restrain internal security system Even if the professor *does* let you go, though, he's liable not to turn the thing off. If you can't speak in anything *other* than a French accent, it is perhaps advisable to not speak at all.
- A full-featured personal care suite. For those occasions when he has to get cleaned, shaved, teeth brushed, hair combed, clothes pressed, etc, etc, etc. Lets him get it out of the way and get on to other, more important things. Does it all with remarkable (even startling) speed and efficiency. Quirk: The various manipulator arms shy away from him when given a choice. He's got to threaten the thing to make it work properly, and it plays excerpts from the Hallelujah Chorus whenever he leaves. It may or may not be a full AI, but it certainly does have at least dog-level intelligence. It gets along with other people *much* better on the whole (varying from person to person, obviously) - but they tend to be at least a little disturbed at the speed with which it wields its straight razors. Keeping Absolutely Still for the duration may be advised. It's not partcularly dangerous, though - it's very, very good at what it does, and if the patient moves *too* much, it can temporarily engage the headclamps, just to be sure. Also, it's been designed to give the professor's haircut. *Anyone* who activates the machine will be given the professor's haircut, to whatever degree their existing hair will allow.
- A full-featured personal care suite. For those occasions when he has to get cleaned, shaved, teeth brushed, hair combed, clothes pressed, etc, etc, etc. Lets him get it out of the way and get on to other, more important things. Does it all with remarkable (even startling) speed and efficiency. Quirk: The various manipulator arms shy away from him when given a choice. He's got to threaten the thing to make it work properly, and it plays excerpts from the Hallelujah Chorus whenever he leaves. It may or may not be a full AI, but it certainly does have at least dog-level intelligence. It gets along with other people *much* better on the whole (varying from person to person, obviously) - but they tend to be at least a little disturbed at the speed with which it wields its straight razors. Keeping Absolutely Still for the duration may be advised. It's not partcularly dangerous, though - it's very, very good at what it does, and if the patient moves *too* much, it can temporarily engage the headclamps, just to be sure. Also, it's been designed to give the professor's haircut. *Anyone* who activates the machine will be given the professor's haircut, to whatever degree their existing hair will allow.