Looks good - nothing jumps out at me saying "problem", you're working with established continuity while adding to it, and it's a fun little read.
If it was up to me, I'd say "go ahead and post it; we can fix the minor typos later". (I only noticed a couple: "Peachy, bordering on Kean" instead of "Peachy, bordering on Keen"; and "Granted, Don Antonio was neither Greek," instead of "Granted, Don Anthony was neither Greek,". And that last one might not be a typo anyway.)
And this is the most attention anybody's paid to Ceres so far. Does chief administrator Larry have a family name? If not, go ahead and pick one; we'll add him to the FenWiki entry for 1 Ceres.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
If it was up to me, I'd say "go ahead and post it; we can fix the minor typos later". (I only noticed a couple: "Peachy, bordering on Kean" instead of "Peachy, bordering on Keen"; and "Granted, Don Antonio was neither Greek," instead of "Granted, Don Anthony was neither Greek,". And that last one might not be a typo anyway.)
And this is the most attention anybody's paid to Ceres so far. Does chief administrator Larry have a family name? If not, go ahead and pick one; we'll add him to the FenWiki entry for 1 Ceres.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012