On the whole, Ops -- VERY, very nice. You've nailed Sell-Sword's interaction with Onyx much better than what little I've already written. Kudos.
One minor point of order, though, Counselor:
Onyx is a time-shifted duplicate of Rhea, not a dimensional double. This may or may not be what you had in mind, but as written, it seems to suggest a DD --
"This entire world...", and the word "dimension", for example. Not a huge deal, actually, and if a DD is a better way to go so be it, but
the original idea was that Onyx and Rhea were identical up to a certain point in time, and then split by a combination of Rhea's innate
unconsciously-controlled magic abilities and bad Portal Corps technology (in a high-stress situation, etc. I've got a story in the works to kick this whole
shebang off, but I'm ... constipated, at the moment![[Image: smile.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/smile.gif)
). Basically, Rhea returned to X time to stop someone from messing with her past life, taking along
backup in the form of several of the Legendary; Big Villain Fight Scene, Yay We Kicked His -- What's That Beeping? RUN! With Rhea's mindset, she'd
make sure she went last even if she had to forcibly teleport others out. Combat medic mentatlity. She cuts it too close, Onyx is spawned -- but not as Rhea is
here-now, but as Rhea was there-then.
(Yes. The big boom that knocked then-Rhea silly and left her with powers? Was caused by herself and others duking it out. This is why we Don't Mess Around
With Time Travel, kiddies.)
After the there-then results, the mystic bond between Onyx and Rhea snaps into effect and slingshots Onyx forward, dumping in her in the hands of very confused
Portal Corps techs and security personnel. Much chaos ensues. Enter the imp. MORE chaos.
Then a sort of detente between her and the imp after giving Portal the slip, before meeting Sword. Which is where your piece here picks up.
So. The issue is, as I've plotted the stories, she's not a DD. If it would make things easier, I can probably do that... but I'd lose some stuff
that I'd like to keep. Thoughts?
(What, collaborate? Unheard of! Since you write Onyx better than I do at this point, tho, I'm nominating you for it. )
--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs
One minor point of order, though, Counselor:
Onyx is a time-shifted duplicate of Rhea, not a dimensional double. This may or may not be what you had in mind, but as written, it seems to suggest a DD --
"This entire world...", and the word "dimension", for example. Not a huge deal, actually, and if a DD is a better way to go so be it, but
the original idea was that Onyx and Rhea were identical up to a certain point in time, and then split by a combination of Rhea's innate
unconsciously-controlled magic abilities and bad Portal Corps technology (in a high-stress situation, etc. I've got a story in the works to kick this whole
shebang off, but I'm ... constipated, at the moment
). Basically, Rhea returned to X time to stop someone from messing with her past life, taking alongbackup in the form of several of the Legendary; Big Villain Fight Scene, Yay We Kicked His -- What's That Beeping? RUN! With Rhea's mindset, she'd
make sure she went last even if she had to forcibly teleport others out. Combat medic mentatlity. She cuts it too close, Onyx is spawned -- but not as Rhea is
here-now, but as Rhea was there-then.
(Yes. The big boom that knocked then-Rhea silly and left her with powers? Was caused by herself and others duking it out. This is why we Don't Mess Around
With Time Travel, kiddies.)
After the there-then results, the mystic bond between Onyx and Rhea snaps into effect and slingshots Onyx forward, dumping in her in the hands of very confused
Portal Corps techs and security personnel. Much chaos ensues. Enter the imp. MORE chaos.
Then a sort of detente between her and the imp after giving Portal the slip, before meeting Sword. Which is where your piece here picks up.
So. The issue is, as I've plotted the stories, she's not a DD. If it would make things easier, I can probably do that... but I'd lose some stuff
that I'd like to keep. Thoughts?
(What, collaborate? Unheard of!
Since you write Onyx better than I do at this point, tho, I'm nominating you for it. )--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs