"Sorry I'm late," Linna said as she ran in through the back door already unbuttoning her top.
"Don't bother with an excuse," her boss replied with a wry smile as the woman ran into the womens locker room. "You're what, five
minutes late? Given what the class is, I can almost guarantee that they're all thinking you're a hero with a secret identity."
"Oh hey, that could prove useful for keeping their attention," Linna called out.
He leaned against the wall, waiting. "So, what was it?" he wondered.
"Arachnos," Linna replied casually, coming back out in her exercise clothes.
"Yeah, the Spiders are a pain," he agreed as Linna headed down the hall and stepped into one of the rooms.
About fifteen men and women were waiting for her, most of them with thoughtful expressions on her face as she said "Sorry about that folks, I, um, got
caught in traffic." Her voice and expression made it sound like she was making a weak excuse, and instantly got their attention. "Now then, my name
is Linna Yamasaki, and I'll be teaching you Paragon Self-Defense."
Smiling, she stood at the front of the room, hands in her pockets. "Now, I'm not going to be teaching you some fancy martial arts or special moves to
take down supervillians. This class isn't about making heroes. It's about teaching people to protect themselves in what is, and let's be honest
here, one of the most dangerous cities on the planet." Several of her new students chuckled weakly at that, having clearly had problems in the past.
"Gangs, robots, terrorists, ghosts, alien invaders... Paragon's got it all. Luckily, we've got the Paragon Police Department, God only knows how
many heroes, Vanguard... oh and Longbow," she added with a slight shrug. "So you don't have to be an incredible fighting machine and save
yourself. You just have to be smart enough to get away, and get help."
Noticing the irritated look on several faces, she chuckled and raised a hand. "I know, it might seem embarrassing, like you're running away, or not
being the big strong man... but at the same time, do you have the skills and power to beat demons, or trolls, or the power armored thugs Crey lets loose on the
streets?" she asked with a softer, understanding tone of voice. "It's like a housefire. You'd leave that to the Fire department. This is the
same. You're merely leaving this to someone much more qualified. There's no shame in it."
Linna paused, letting that thought sink into her students heads. "With that in mind, this class is designed to help you deal with smaller threats, and to
stay alive and safe when dealing with larger ones."
***
"Hellions, Skulls, Trolls and the like usually operate in groups of two or three. They'll single out people on their own, then try to corner them,
usually in alleyways or empty streets. But unlike some of the things in Paragon, they're human." Linna gave the class an evil smile, holding up a can
of mace. "Which means that the tactics that work on more conventional muggers are often just as successful. But you need to remember, don't stay to
fight them, or give them an extra kick while they're down. Hit them with the mace, then run." The smile had vanished. "Get out of the alleyway,
or head for somewhere more public. Don't be ashamed to call for help," she said in a serious voice.
Looking around, she made certain that she had her classes attention. "But don't stay with them. Trolls are animals, and every single Skull has
murdered at least once. They are dangerous people, with little to lose. Distract them, then get the hell out of there."
***
"Cadavers aren't smart," Linna said. "They'll grab their masters target and hold them still. But they don't feel pain, which means
the mace is better used on their masters. Simon, could you come here?" The man in question stepped forward, and Linna stepped up and grabbed his arms.
"They'll try to pin you like this," she said. "If they grab you from behind, try to slam them against something. Luckily, they're not
that quick, and they're too stupid to be sneaky. Listen and stay alert, and you can avoid them grabbing you at all. Here, the solution is one that's a
little tricky, but works against almost anything humanoid. Their knees."
She lifted her foot and mimed slamming the flat of her shoe into his kneecap. Several of her class winced. "Break the knee, they fall, it's a simple
fact of life. Unless they can fly, they won't be chasing you."
***
"Clockwork. You've all seen them. Running around, grabbing whatever they can find and taking it to make more Clockwork... Sometimes, they'll
decide to take your phone, or your watch, or even your jewelry. Or perhaps you work on a construction site and they decide they want to dismantle your cement
mixer," she mused. "Now, these guys are a little different from most groups out there. They tend to ignore humans unless they're
interfering."
"Yeah, but I don't want them after my watch," a man said with a weak smile.
Linna laughed. "If they start dismantling your car, call the cops. If they're after something on you, distract them with something shiny. For
instance, I keep this in my purse," she said, picking up a small bag that had been sitting on her desk. Inside was a collection of tiny clockwork gears
and pieces of metal. "Tear it open and scatter it, and they'll go for it," Linna explained. "They're simple creatures, they tend to take
the path of least resistance. And remember, the best fight-"
"-Is one you can avoid," several of her students finished for her, having heard the reminder several times already.
***
"So, how'd they do?" her boss asked after the students had left.
"I think I got their interest," she smiled, running a hand through her hair to get it back under control. "I think some of them are a bit
unnerved by the concept of having to exercise," she quipped. "I think they expected me to turn them into superheroes."
He snorted as she left to shower and get changed. Ten minutes later, right as she was putting her shoes back on, her phone rang. With an amused smile, she
flipped it open. "How DO you time it that well?" she asked.
"A girl has to have some secrets," Nene Romanova replied with a laugh in her voice. "You're done for the day?"
"Just the one class, as you well know, Miss Miniature-Stalker," she teased. "You making plans?"
"Oh, I was just thinking of getting the family together," Nene said. "There's a new restaurant on Talos that's getting good reviews, and
Alice rescued the manager from the Warriors the other day. We have a table for tonight."
Linna laughed as she picked up her bag. "Magnificent idea Nene."
"You, um, are you going to be bringing anyone?" Nene asked curiously.
"Why yes I am."
"Another new boyfriend?" she teased.
"As a matter of fact Nene, Steve and I are still going out," she retorted. "And if I hear one crack about my love life, there will be vengeance.
Wonderful, glorious vengeance," she added with a wide grin as she headed for her car.
***
"Don't bother with an excuse," her boss replied with a wry smile as the woman ran into the womens locker room. "You're what, five
minutes late? Given what the class is, I can almost guarantee that they're all thinking you're a hero with a secret identity."
"Oh hey, that could prove useful for keeping their attention," Linna called out.
He leaned against the wall, waiting. "So, what was it?" he wondered.
"Arachnos," Linna replied casually, coming back out in her exercise clothes.
"Yeah, the Spiders are a pain," he agreed as Linna headed down the hall and stepped into one of the rooms.
About fifteen men and women were waiting for her, most of them with thoughtful expressions on her face as she said "Sorry about that folks, I, um, got
caught in traffic." Her voice and expression made it sound like she was making a weak excuse, and instantly got their attention. "Now then, my name
is Linna Yamasaki, and I'll be teaching you Paragon Self-Defense."
Smiling, she stood at the front of the room, hands in her pockets. "Now, I'm not going to be teaching you some fancy martial arts or special moves to
take down supervillians. This class isn't about making heroes. It's about teaching people to protect themselves in what is, and let's be honest
here, one of the most dangerous cities on the planet." Several of her new students chuckled weakly at that, having clearly had problems in the past.
"Gangs, robots, terrorists, ghosts, alien invaders... Paragon's got it all. Luckily, we've got the Paragon Police Department, God only knows how
many heroes, Vanguard... oh and Longbow," she added with a slight shrug. "So you don't have to be an incredible fighting machine and save
yourself. You just have to be smart enough to get away, and get help."
Noticing the irritated look on several faces, she chuckled and raised a hand. "I know, it might seem embarrassing, like you're running away, or not
being the big strong man... but at the same time, do you have the skills and power to beat demons, or trolls, or the power armored thugs Crey lets loose on the
streets?" she asked with a softer, understanding tone of voice. "It's like a housefire. You'd leave that to the Fire department. This is the
same. You're merely leaving this to someone much more qualified. There's no shame in it."
Linna paused, letting that thought sink into her students heads. "With that in mind, this class is designed to help you deal with smaller threats, and to
stay alive and safe when dealing with larger ones."
***
"Hellions, Skulls, Trolls and the like usually operate in groups of two or three. They'll single out people on their own, then try to corner them,
usually in alleyways or empty streets. But unlike some of the things in Paragon, they're human." Linna gave the class an evil smile, holding up a can
of mace. "Which means that the tactics that work on more conventional muggers are often just as successful. But you need to remember, don't stay to
fight them, or give them an extra kick while they're down. Hit them with the mace, then run." The smile had vanished. "Get out of the alleyway,
or head for somewhere more public. Don't be ashamed to call for help," she said in a serious voice.
Looking around, she made certain that she had her classes attention. "But don't stay with them. Trolls are animals, and every single Skull has
murdered at least once. They are dangerous people, with little to lose. Distract them, then get the hell out of there."
***
"Cadavers aren't smart," Linna said. "They'll grab their masters target and hold them still. But they don't feel pain, which means
the mace is better used on their masters. Simon, could you come here?" The man in question stepped forward, and Linna stepped up and grabbed his arms.
"They'll try to pin you like this," she said. "If they grab you from behind, try to slam them against something. Luckily, they're not
that quick, and they're too stupid to be sneaky. Listen and stay alert, and you can avoid them grabbing you at all. Here, the solution is one that's a
little tricky, but works against almost anything humanoid. Their knees."
She lifted her foot and mimed slamming the flat of her shoe into his kneecap. Several of her class winced. "Break the knee, they fall, it's a simple
fact of life. Unless they can fly, they won't be chasing you."
***
"Clockwork. You've all seen them. Running around, grabbing whatever they can find and taking it to make more Clockwork... Sometimes, they'll
decide to take your phone, or your watch, or even your jewelry. Or perhaps you work on a construction site and they decide they want to dismantle your cement
mixer," she mused. "Now, these guys are a little different from most groups out there. They tend to ignore humans unless they're
interfering."
"Yeah, but I don't want them after my watch," a man said with a weak smile.
Linna laughed. "If they start dismantling your car, call the cops. If they're after something on you, distract them with something shiny. For
instance, I keep this in my purse," she said, picking up a small bag that had been sitting on her desk. Inside was a collection of tiny clockwork gears
and pieces of metal. "Tear it open and scatter it, and they'll go for it," Linna explained. "They're simple creatures, they tend to take
the path of least resistance. And remember, the best fight-"
"-Is one you can avoid," several of her students finished for her, having heard the reminder several times already.
***
"So, how'd they do?" her boss asked after the students had left.
"I think I got their interest," she smiled, running a hand through her hair to get it back under control. "I think some of them are a bit
unnerved by the concept of having to exercise," she quipped. "I think they expected me to turn them into superheroes."
He snorted as she left to shower and get changed. Ten minutes later, right as she was putting her shoes back on, her phone rang. With an amused smile, she
flipped it open. "How DO you time it that well?" she asked.
"A girl has to have some secrets," Nene Romanova replied with a laugh in her voice. "You're done for the day?"
"Just the one class, as you well know, Miss Miniature-Stalker," she teased. "You making plans?"
"Oh, I was just thinking of getting the family together," Nene said. "There's a new restaurant on Talos that's getting good reviews, and
Alice rescued the manager from the Warriors the other day. We have a table for tonight."
Linna laughed as she picked up her bag. "Magnificent idea Nene."
"You, um, are you going to be bringing anyone?" Nene asked curiously.
"Why yes I am."
"Another new boyfriend?" she teased.
"As a matter of fact Nene, Steve and I are still going out," she retorted. "And if I hear one crack about my love life, there will be vengeance.
Wonderful, glorious vengeance," she added with a wide grin as she headed for her car.
***