I was tired.
I was cranky.
I really shouldn't have been awake.
But I was so close to leveling that, despite it being half three in the morning, that I kept promising myself 'just one mission more'...
My normal account was on the European servers, Defiant and Union being my typical haunts, but one gift of a trial code had me enjoying myself on Justice for once. Half the people I knew, or knew of, online played on the US servers so 'rebuild' an alt or two while the code lasted seemed worth it to play alongside some of them.
Given that I'd started playing just after lunch I'd maybe been on a little long even for me.
My left hand ached vaguely as I held it spidered over the keyboard, hitting tab with my pinkie as various mobs were reminded that any bunny associated with 'Caernbannog' was not anyone to be trifled with. Especially since holy hand grenades were yet to be issued to the Lost.
An Aberrant Rector took a dirt nap, courtesy of a battle axe to the face (or so I imagined), and fireworks went off on screen as I finally dinged. In real life I sagged in relief for a moment as I reached my intended goal and got ready to call it a night.
Well, after I used the boost which accompanied leveling to wipe out a few more Lost.
And after I'd gone to actually level at a trainer.
"Any minute now..." I muttered to myself as Inspiration icons started to blink as their durations came to an end. I hit F1 and added another yellow to the mix on top of my now half full fury bar. "I'll just stop in a second."
Perhaps a moment later the world seemed to reach out of the screen and smack so hard that I thought I could really see the scene in front of me. That I could make out the carefully white cotton tail that Caernbannog wore for luck when 'working', smell the salt of the sea from the harbor in which she stood, note the fall of her blonde hair, and see the way that the black outfit hugged her curves...
As a painful blackness suddenly claimed me, it crossed my mind that either the universe really wanted to help me keep that promise or else it severely disapproved of where my thoughts had been headed.
---
Apparently God does hate such thoughts. That was the only conclusion I could come to as I woke up after my stint of unconsciousness.
"If you're out there, God, the hatred is mutal." I blearily told the ceiling from my position sprawled on the floor by my computer. My voice sounded a little weird and I tried again, "Testing? Testing? One, two, knee?"
Contralto?
Sitting up I instantly regretted it. Some substantial feeling extra weight around chest level was impossible to ignore, even if you were used to it like I was, and was more proof that the little signals from my hindbrain about something being wrong should be listened to. Looking down at revealed a rather fetchingly covered expanse which concealed a portion of my lap.
"Can I supersize that hatred to Purest Loathing?" I remarked, glancing up for a moment, before back down at myself. Sweeping a hand above my head had my fingers come in contact with something, but for now I left the bunny ears alone as I didn't know where I could get another set easily.
I experimentally rubbed my hands down my bare legs, taking in the low heels which I had on my feet, and the contemplated the nail polish on my fingers. As far as I could tell I was wearing Caernbannog's costume, complete with details as I'd imagined it but couldn't show in game, and filling it all too well.
Did I piss off Dr Aeon or something? I mean, he didn't seem that annoyed when I made him write that paper for TV and I promised to make it up to him even if he was a little short on the tongue...
"That's not a good sign." I muttered as my mind caught up with my train of thought and I realized just how wrong it. Pinching myself didn't help matters and so I just sat back down at my computer to try to think matters through. "Not good at all."
Two sets of memories in my head disagreed about important matters and I needed to sort them out.
On the one side, I had a Scottish man (a glance down confirming that I hadn't regained that status in the meantime) who lived in a mundane world. Someone who'd gone back to university and who was a week away from starting a summer job poking at computers before starting his final year there. And whose room I was apparently sitting it.
On the other side was a young woman from Paragon who still regularly paraded around in the bunny suit from her old job at a gentleman's club. And who has been placed in the Zig after she'd picked up an axe and... defended herself from anything which moved when a fight during Rikti raid had spilled into her workplace. Including one hero.
"Round One : Fight!" I couldn't help but announce to the room, giggling for a moment as the absurdity briefly lightened my mood.
While one side of me wanted to simply freak out, the other side was far more accepting of the situation. I had my favorite axe after all, the reassuring weight laying across my thighs, so it couldn't be that bad could it?
And, after all, what was the appropriate response to waking up and finding yourself a woman?
Inspiration struck and, a moment later, I was scrabbling to dig out one particular t-shirt. It was a rather tighter fit than it had been, with my 'girls' sort of stretching the image on it a bit much, but it was just too ironic not to wear.
"Squish squish." I muttered to myself as I tried to smooth the t-shirt down, fighting back a fit of giggles. Blushing a little I experimentally suited action to words before quickly stopping. That has been... interesting, but not something to start just now. Really. Maybe when I next had a bath. Or a shower? You could adjust some shower heads and...
I cut that train of thought off hurriedly.
"I'm so not thinking about that. Bunny, bunny, bunny, oops, bunny, bunny, bunny, oops!" I declared, using the repetitive nonsense to quash the associated memories of just what could be done by a lonely girl with the right sort of showerhead.
I sighed and stood up, "Maybe a walk would help?"
---
"It's five am in the morning. Do you know where your children are?" I asked the empty street as I stepped outside. Sensibly enough it declined to answer the crazy woman. Man. Whatever.
Which I was, or at least thought of myself as, was a matter I'd have to get around to addressing sometime soon. Any decade now. Really.
Locking the door behind me out of habit I walked down the drive, gravel crunching beneath me feet, and absently hefted my keys. There was something off there. I'd been holding my axe in both hands, picked up the keys with one hand, then had my hands free as I headed to the door... and now the keys were gone again.
And back again when I thought about it.
I started heading up the road, and uphill, as I toyed with this little phenomena. It was too easy to be termed a trick, and seemed completely natural when I didn't think about it, but when I thought about them the keys where there. If I didn't for a few moments then they tended to just... go away?
That I had two different axes and sundry other objects, from some IR goggles I'd liberated from an arms dealer to my Vanguard communicator, also vaguely 'at hand' was definitely neat though. I looked longingly at the bunny ears headband then finally distracted myself from it as well.
After all I wasn't 'on the job' just now.
It all fit the way I'd thought about Caernbannog's powers, and explained a bit about what I remembered happening around me in Paragon, but was far more disturbing when applied to mundane life. Especially as I knew that I never seemed to remember such things for long.
"Great, I've turned all Marauder: the Axe Murderess." I sighed then absently sliced a stray branch out of my way as I continued walking. That made me pause and, blushing slightly, I carefully made my way back to the pavement and out of someone's garden.
Trespassing wasn't the biggest no-no I'd done, it being far faster to take short cuts through private property, but it'd attract attention and I didn't even trust potted plants when I thought about the Devouring Earth.
Making a mental note to see if the Campaign to Pave The World existed in this place, and if they had a record of my regular donations, I continued along the sidew... pavement. The streets were well lit and it was a warm night so I didn't have any real worries. I hadn't even see a car pass by yet, let alone a passerby or potential mugger, so I was safe in that regard as well.
With a jolt I realised that while distracted I'd come further than I intended to. Turning around, I looked down the road, down the slope towards the harbor with the homes and city center laid out between me and the dark night see. As I looked at the lights of the city spread out before me a realization struck. My heart froze as something in my mind clicked and revealed that I was in my worst nightmare.
Where were they?
Where were the War Walls?
A city skyline greeted my gaze, stars visible over head, and only a faint glow of light could be seen without a trace of the great fields which civilized places still needed.
The Rikti would be coming.
I hadn't heard an announcement of an attack, but the Rikti must be coming if the War Walls were down. Even the Rogue Isle needed them to keep safe. I started to pant as I looked around, the weight of my axe in hand no longer a comforting things, and strained my ears for the sound of the incoming teleports.
Something in the back of my mind tried to remind me that this was wrong. That it made no sense and that there hadn't been, nor reason for, such huge force fields. But I couldn't think about that. I couldn't, just couldn't, listen to that corner because I realised that the Rikti were coming and I didn't know what to do...
The magic letters!
I cowered behind a low wall as I seized on that reassuring thought, no longer worried about the idea of a Devouring Earth ambush because the Rikti were coming, like a woman seizing hold a life preserver.
I could use the three magic letters.
... the pointy, spikey things the mercenaries had thrown on the floor were -ruining- my nice heels. There were already holes, and red stuff, where I'd trodden on some. More red stuff came out as I took another step, but now she was within reach and I had my axe in hand...
The magic letters had always helped me before. They'd summon help, they'd get people who could help me kill the Rikti like the other times the War Walls had come down.
...and the burny red fire washed over me again, but this time an emerald flame followed it from behind me. The green hurt as the burnt flesh crumbled away ash, leaving healthy skin in its wake, but now I was close to Infernal and I knew what to do...
Surely they won't fail me now? Would they?
Fumbling my axe, letting it fall and fade as my attention strayed, I yanked out my communicator. Hurriedly I flagged my status appropriately then, with shaking hands, I tapped the three magic letters into the communicator and hit send.
[Broadcast] Caernbannog: LFT
I did it again.
[Broadcast] Caernbannog: LFT
And again...
[Broadcast] Caernbannog: LFT... please?
And, yes, I do own the t-shirt of this [ http://www.sgvy.com/archives/Edda1/Issue1/Page6.html ] sad as it is to admit.
I was cranky.
I really shouldn't have been awake.
But I was so close to leveling that, despite it being half three in the morning, that I kept promising myself 'just one mission more'...
My normal account was on the European servers, Defiant and Union being my typical haunts, but one gift of a trial code had me enjoying myself on Justice for once. Half the people I knew, or knew of, online played on the US servers so 'rebuild' an alt or two while the code lasted seemed worth it to play alongside some of them.
Given that I'd started playing just after lunch I'd maybe been on a little long even for me.
My left hand ached vaguely as I held it spidered over the keyboard, hitting tab with my pinkie as various mobs were reminded that any bunny associated with 'Caernbannog' was not anyone to be trifled with. Especially since holy hand grenades were yet to be issued to the Lost.
An Aberrant Rector took a dirt nap, courtesy of a battle axe to the face (or so I imagined), and fireworks went off on screen as I finally dinged. In real life I sagged in relief for a moment as I reached my intended goal and got ready to call it a night.
Well, after I used the boost which accompanied leveling to wipe out a few more Lost.
And after I'd gone to actually level at a trainer.
"Any minute now..." I muttered to myself as Inspiration icons started to blink as their durations came to an end. I hit F1 and added another yellow to the mix on top of my now half full fury bar. "I'll just stop in a second."
Perhaps a moment later the world seemed to reach out of the screen and smack so hard that I thought I could really see the scene in front of me. That I could make out the carefully white cotton tail that Caernbannog wore for luck when 'working', smell the salt of the sea from the harbor in which she stood, note the fall of her blonde hair, and see the way that the black outfit hugged her curves...
As a painful blackness suddenly claimed me, it crossed my mind that either the universe really wanted to help me keep that promise or else it severely disapproved of where my thoughts had been headed.
---
Apparently God does hate such thoughts. That was the only conclusion I could come to as I woke up after my stint of unconsciousness.
"If you're out there, God, the hatred is mutal." I blearily told the ceiling from my position sprawled on the floor by my computer. My voice sounded a little weird and I tried again, "Testing? Testing? One, two, knee?"
Contralto?
Sitting up I instantly regretted it. Some substantial feeling extra weight around chest level was impossible to ignore, even if you were used to it like I was, and was more proof that the little signals from my hindbrain about something being wrong should be listened to. Looking down at revealed a rather fetchingly covered expanse which concealed a portion of my lap.
"Can I supersize that hatred to Purest Loathing?" I remarked, glancing up for a moment, before back down at myself. Sweeping a hand above my head had my fingers come in contact with something, but for now I left the bunny ears alone as I didn't know where I could get another set easily.
I experimentally rubbed my hands down my bare legs, taking in the low heels which I had on my feet, and the contemplated the nail polish on my fingers. As far as I could tell I was wearing Caernbannog's costume, complete with details as I'd imagined it but couldn't show in game, and filling it all too well.
Did I piss off Dr Aeon or something? I mean, he didn't seem that annoyed when I made him write that paper for TV and I promised to make it up to him even if he was a little short on the tongue...
"That's not a good sign." I muttered as my mind caught up with my train of thought and I realized just how wrong it. Pinching myself didn't help matters and so I just sat back down at my computer to try to think matters through. "Not good at all."
Two sets of memories in my head disagreed about important matters and I needed to sort them out.
On the one side, I had a Scottish man (a glance down confirming that I hadn't regained that status in the meantime) who lived in a mundane world. Someone who'd gone back to university and who was a week away from starting a summer job poking at computers before starting his final year there. And whose room I was apparently sitting it.
On the other side was a young woman from Paragon who still regularly paraded around in the bunny suit from her old job at a gentleman's club. And who has been placed in the Zig after she'd picked up an axe and... defended herself from anything which moved when a fight during Rikti raid had spilled into her workplace. Including one hero.
"Round One : Fight!" I couldn't help but announce to the room, giggling for a moment as the absurdity briefly lightened my mood.
While one side of me wanted to simply freak out, the other side was far more accepting of the situation. I had my favorite axe after all, the reassuring weight laying across my thighs, so it couldn't be that bad could it?
And, after all, what was the appropriate response to waking up and finding yourself a woman?
Inspiration struck and, a moment later, I was scrabbling to dig out one particular t-shirt. It was a rather tighter fit than it had been, with my 'girls' sort of stretching the image on it a bit much, but it was just too ironic not to wear.
"Squish squish." I muttered to myself as I tried to smooth the t-shirt down, fighting back a fit of giggles. Blushing a little I experimentally suited action to words before quickly stopping. That has been... interesting, but not something to start just now. Really. Maybe when I next had a bath. Or a shower? You could adjust some shower heads and...
I cut that train of thought off hurriedly.
"I'm so not thinking about that. Bunny, bunny, bunny, oops, bunny, bunny, bunny, oops!" I declared, using the repetitive nonsense to quash the associated memories of just what could be done by a lonely girl with the right sort of showerhead.
I sighed and stood up, "Maybe a walk would help?"
---
"It's five am in the morning. Do you know where your children are?" I asked the empty street as I stepped outside. Sensibly enough it declined to answer the crazy woman. Man. Whatever.
Which I was, or at least thought of myself as, was a matter I'd have to get around to addressing sometime soon. Any decade now. Really.
Locking the door behind me out of habit I walked down the drive, gravel crunching beneath me feet, and absently hefted my keys. There was something off there. I'd been holding my axe in both hands, picked up the keys with one hand, then had my hands free as I headed to the door... and now the keys were gone again.
And back again when I thought about it.
I started heading up the road, and uphill, as I toyed with this little phenomena. It was too easy to be termed a trick, and seemed completely natural when I didn't think about it, but when I thought about them the keys where there. If I didn't for a few moments then they tended to just... go away?
That I had two different axes and sundry other objects, from some IR goggles I'd liberated from an arms dealer to my Vanguard communicator, also vaguely 'at hand' was definitely neat though. I looked longingly at the bunny ears headband then finally distracted myself from it as well.
After all I wasn't 'on the job' just now.
It all fit the way I'd thought about Caernbannog's powers, and explained a bit about what I remembered happening around me in Paragon, but was far more disturbing when applied to mundane life. Especially as I knew that I never seemed to remember such things for long.
"Great, I've turned all Marauder: the Axe Murderess." I sighed then absently sliced a stray branch out of my way as I continued walking. That made me pause and, blushing slightly, I carefully made my way back to the pavement and out of someone's garden.
Trespassing wasn't the biggest no-no I'd done, it being far faster to take short cuts through private property, but it'd attract attention and I didn't even trust potted plants when I thought about the Devouring Earth.
Making a mental note to see if the Campaign to Pave The World existed in this place, and if they had a record of my regular donations, I continued along the sidew... pavement. The streets were well lit and it was a warm night so I didn't have any real worries. I hadn't even see a car pass by yet, let alone a passerby or potential mugger, so I was safe in that regard as well.
With a jolt I realised that while distracted I'd come further than I intended to. Turning around, I looked down the road, down the slope towards the harbor with the homes and city center laid out between me and the dark night see. As I looked at the lights of the city spread out before me a realization struck. My heart froze as something in my mind clicked and revealed that I was in my worst nightmare.
Where were they?
Where were the War Walls?
A city skyline greeted my gaze, stars visible over head, and only a faint glow of light could be seen without a trace of the great fields which civilized places still needed.
The Rikti would be coming.
I hadn't heard an announcement of an attack, but the Rikti must be coming if the War Walls were down. Even the Rogue Isle needed them to keep safe. I started to pant as I looked around, the weight of my axe in hand no longer a comforting things, and strained my ears for the sound of the incoming teleports.
Something in the back of my mind tried to remind me that this was wrong. That it made no sense and that there hadn't been, nor reason for, such huge force fields. But I couldn't think about that. I couldn't, just couldn't, listen to that corner because I realised that the Rikti were coming and I didn't know what to do...
The magic letters!
I cowered behind a low wall as I seized on that reassuring thought, no longer worried about the idea of a Devouring Earth ambush because the Rikti were coming, like a woman seizing hold a life preserver.
I could use the three magic letters.
... the pointy, spikey things the mercenaries had thrown on the floor were -ruining- my nice heels. There were already holes, and red stuff, where I'd trodden on some. More red stuff came out as I took another step, but now she was within reach and I had my axe in hand...
The magic letters had always helped me before. They'd summon help, they'd get people who could help me kill the Rikti like the other times the War Walls had come down.
...and the burny red fire washed over me again, but this time an emerald flame followed it from behind me. The green hurt as the burnt flesh crumbled away ash, leaving healthy skin in its wake, but now I was close to Infernal and I knew what to do...
Surely they won't fail me now? Would they?
Fumbling my axe, letting it fall and fade as my attention strayed, I yanked out my communicator. Hurriedly I flagged my status appropriately then, with shaking hands, I tapped the three magic letters into the communicator and hit send.
[Broadcast] Caernbannog: LFT
I did it again.
[Broadcast] Caernbannog: LFT
And again...
[Broadcast] Caernbannog: LFT... please?
And, yes, I do own the t-shirt of this [ http://www.sgvy.com/archives/Edda1/Issue1/Page6.html ] sad as it is to admit.