Almost finished re-reading the Symphonies (or at least what's been released so far, since the 3rd and 5th symphonies aren't complete yet).
first up, a pair of scenes where Bubbles Utonium proves she truly is a blonde...
"What... what happened?" she asked. "Where's Len?"
Unfortunately, in the uncomfortable silence that ensued, the first person who replied was Bubbles Utonium, who produced the following in a single unbroken torrent of chirpy blondeness:
"Weeeeeeeeeell, first you and Len had an accident in the dojo and they took you to the hospital but I guess you knew that 'cause you were there for the accident and you're in the hospital now so obviously they took you to the hospital after the accident right? And you were really really sick but the doctors fixed you up and now you're gonna be A-OK! But Len felt really bad about what happened and that's understandable I mean I feel bad when I have an accident like the time I broke the Professor's favorite mug and I tried to glue it together and the Professor made coffee and the glue hadn't dried and his lip got stuck to the cup and I felt really really bad about that.
"So Len got all sad and gloomy and he ran away from home which is stupid because he didn't do anything wrong, it was an accident, I mean if I ran away from home every time I had an accident I wouldn't be here would I? But it's okay because Len met this weird old guy at the spaceport but he must be nice 'cause he's helping this guy Stanley find his cup that's been lost for four hundred years.
"And now they're gonna go off until Len gets happy again which shouldn't take long I mean I never stay gloomy for very long and neither does Blossom but Buttercup stays gloomy all the time but that's okay because the Professor says the world would be a boring place if everyone was the same. I never understood that I mean Vulcan is a really boring place and everyone isn't the same there I mean they
try and all but no matter how much they frown and squint they all look just a little bit different so it shouldn't be as boring there as it is at least I don't think so."
At last Bubbles paused, a thoughtful look on her face. "Where was I?" she asked.
Buttercup opened her mouth to interject, but Bubbles brightened as she picked up the thread (at least in her own mind) and concluded triumphantly, "Oh yeah! So you're gonna be OK and Len will be too once he stops being stupid and finds Stanley's cup and he'll be home soon so we can all tell him how silly he is for running away. The end!"
There was a long, awkward silence, in which everyone in the room stared at Bubbles in blank, unspeaking horror - except Buttercup, who stood with her face in her hand (the little black storm cloud almost visible over her head) and Dr. Stone, who checked Achika's pulse with brisk, sublime unconcern for outside distractions.
"Um... " said Achika slowly with an I-don't-think-I-like-this look on her face, "... would someone like to translate that, please?"
-Gunboat Diplomacy, 3rd Symphony
*******
"All right, Mojo," Blossom spat testily, "we don't know what your scheme is THIS time, but - "
"I HAVE no scheme!" Mojo shouted back, his voice accompanied by a winceworthy screech of feedback from the Robo Jojo's PA system.
"Oh YEAH?" Buttercup asked, picking up the Robo Jojo's severed arm and waving it meaningfully. "Then how did you just HAPPEN to have one of your evil robots handy on our prom night, huh? Answer me THAT, Smart Guy!"
"I ... Well ... I ..." Mojo cast a spiteful glare off to one side, harrumphed mightily, and grumbled, "I was going to use it to attack you at your graduation."
"You remembered our graduation?" Bubbles smiled. "Aww, that's so -sweet- of you!"
"BUBBLES!!" Buttercup barked.
"Sorry," the blonde replied, looking downcast.
- A Night to Remember, 4th Symphony
*******
and one more bit featuring Mojo Jojo:
"I don't beLIEVE this!" Buttercup blurted. "Who the HELL thought it would be a good idea to hire MOJO freakin' JOJO to MC the freakin' PROM?"
"I will also be acting as disc jockey!" Mojo Jojo declared
grandly. "When the band is taking breaks there will be records
played, and as disc jockey, I shall be the one who plays the records which are played when the band is taking a break!
"Some of you already know me... those would be the ones readying weapons. But have no fear! Do not worry! Experience no trepidation!" Holding up a conciliatory palm, Mojo Jojo went on, "For I have pledged to higher authorities than this school's administration that I shall commit no evil acts! Tonight. (Except perhaps to make you all dance the Time Warp.)"
This led to a chorus of horrified protests:
"Noooo!"
"You FIEND!"
"You WOULDN'T!"
"SILENCE!!!" Mojo Jojo roared. "Or it shall be the Macarena!"
-A Night to Remember, 4th Symphony
*******
"I don't want it anymore," Mac went on.
Scotty did indeed help himself to a second drink, this one less enthusiastic than the first. "A fine sipping whiskey indeed," he said. "Now, I ask myself, why would a young man like yourself be disposin' of such respectable whiskey in such a disrespectful fashion?"
Before Mac could answer, Scotty continued, "It must be woman troubles. Never did I see a man give up drinkin' but for woman troubles. Well, that and th' DTs, but mostly woman troubles. So let me guess," he said, sipping the whiskey and looking upwards as he said, "Your ladylove and you had a tiff. There were words spoken. Y'went away, thinking all wa' lost, and blew your pay on as fine a bottle of hard liquor as you could afford. Then, just before you could get yourself blind stinking drunk, your lady calls ye and says all is forgiven. Blessing your lucky stars, y'decide to put temptation behind ye once and for all by disposin' of a good day's wages in th' sink. An' there we are."
Mac stared at Scotty in awe. "That is truly amazing," Mac said at last.
"Och, noo," Scotty shrugged.
"I am just astounded," Mac continued. "That is absolutely, precisely, one hundred percent wrong. How do you do it?"
Scotty chuckled and said, "Well, I'm a miracle worker, not a mind-reader. For that ye want Captain Spock. How about ye tell me why, then?"
- Coming to Terms, 3rd symphony
*******
If I ever get my hands on a reality travelling device, I'm gonna have to visit UF's planet Funkotron, I suspect it has to be seen to truly be believed.
When poor Haley was finally tagged out and trudged dejectedly back toward the visitors' dugout, that outrage came forth in a high, clear voice that sliced through the cheers of the reprieved Knights fans like a laser beam:
"Hay-LEE DIT-SHIZZY yo! Granny-anny nevva go unda wit'a SUCKA-FOO SHOOBY-DOO dilly-o! Homeys oughta haul yo SACKY-DUMP slackit-back'a NAR SHADDAA! Prezzy SLUG-TELLY BIZZY-*BAM*!"
There was a moment of complete silence in Field Seating Section 11. Slowly but surely, the look of anger suffusing Fuu Hououji's face disintegrated, replaced by an expression of pure horror. A scarlet flush crawled up from under her collar all the way to her hairline, and hesitantly she sank back into her seat, head bowed.
A moment later all the people staring at her broke into applause and cheers, which made her feel a little better, but not much.
Chip buried his face in his hand, not out of embarrassment, but to save himself from his girlfriend's wrath should he burst out laughing at her in public. It always gave him a kick when Fuu got agitated enough to slip back into her mother tongue in public. The double takes she got were worth the price of admission - but normally she didn't do it in front of -quite- so many people, nor turn -quite- that shade of red.
-The Kindness of Strangers, 4th Symphony
********
One of my all time favorite bits from UF.
He was tall, thin and dusky, with long silver hair pulled back from his aquiline face in a ponytail, and he walked with a lazy, arrogant sort of grace. He was absolutely the last person Juri Arisugawa would ever have expected to find mocking her, even under these surreal circumstances. For a few harrowing seconds, her still-awakening, understrength mind was paralyzed with the horrified, disbelieving notion that the dead walked.
The speaker seemed to recognize this; his teeth gleamed white in the shadows on his face as he smiled, chuckling darkly. Then he took a step forward so that one of the irregular beams of light from the ceiling fell across his face and the gleaming badge on his chest.
Relief flooded through Juri - most incongruous relief, from her confronter's point of view. Her body, which had stiffened visibly against its restraints at the sight of him, relaxed, sagging against the bonds that held her more or less upright.
Ahmed Garcia didn't really know what to make of that. He had carried out a great number of interrogations and other such operations since his assignment to Black Omega, and never once had anyone, in waking and recognizing his uniform, had the thought,
"Oh - it's only a Psi Cop."
- Hunter Rose, 4th Symphony
*******
Zany sense of humor and fascination with Klingon culture, contrasting with Data's deliberate, pedantic manner, lead people to believe that Lore has emotions and Data does not. The truth is that Data's just boring.
- Exerpt from the crew write ups Utena reads while preparing to take command of the Challenger. (Second Chances, 4th Symphony of the Sword)__________________
"I know when I'm not wanted. I usually don't listen, but I know." - Harper (Andromeda)
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin
first up, a pair of scenes where Bubbles Utonium proves she truly is a blonde...
"What... what happened?" she asked. "Where's Len?"
Unfortunately, in the uncomfortable silence that ensued, the first person who replied was Bubbles Utonium, who produced the following in a single unbroken torrent of chirpy blondeness:
"Weeeeeeeeeell, first you and Len had an accident in the dojo and they took you to the hospital but I guess you knew that 'cause you were there for the accident and you're in the hospital now so obviously they took you to the hospital after the accident right? And you were really really sick but the doctors fixed you up and now you're gonna be A-OK! But Len felt really bad about what happened and that's understandable I mean I feel bad when I have an accident like the time I broke the Professor's favorite mug and I tried to glue it together and the Professor made coffee and the glue hadn't dried and his lip got stuck to the cup and I felt really really bad about that.
"So Len got all sad and gloomy and he ran away from home which is stupid because he didn't do anything wrong, it was an accident, I mean if I ran away from home every time I had an accident I wouldn't be here would I? But it's okay because Len met this weird old guy at the spaceport but he must be nice 'cause he's helping this guy Stanley find his cup that's been lost for four hundred years.
"And now they're gonna go off until Len gets happy again which shouldn't take long I mean I never stay gloomy for very long and neither does Blossom but Buttercup stays gloomy all the time but that's okay because the Professor says the world would be a boring place if everyone was the same. I never understood that I mean Vulcan is a really boring place and everyone isn't the same there I mean they
try and all but no matter how much they frown and squint they all look just a little bit different so it shouldn't be as boring there as it is at least I don't think so."
At last Bubbles paused, a thoughtful look on her face. "Where was I?" she asked.
Buttercup opened her mouth to interject, but Bubbles brightened as she picked up the thread (at least in her own mind) and concluded triumphantly, "Oh yeah! So you're gonna be OK and Len will be too once he stops being stupid and finds Stanley's cup and he'll be home soon so we can all tell him how silly he is for running away. The end!"
There was a long, awkward silence, in which everyone in the room stared at Bubbles in blank, unspeaking horror - except Buttercup, who stood with her face in her hand (the little black storm cloud almost visible over her head) and Dr. Stone, who checked Achika's pulse with brisk, sublime unconcern for outside distractions.
"Um... " said Achika slowly with an I-don't-think-I-like-this look on her face, "... would someone like to translate that, please?"
-Gunboat Diplomacy, 3rd Symphony
*******
"All right, Mojo," Blossom spat testily, "we don't know what your scheme is THIS time, but - "
"I HAVE no scheme!" Mojo shouted back, his voice accompanied by a winceworthy screech of feedback from the Robo Jojo's PA system.
"Oh YEAH?" Buttercup asked, picking up the Robo Jojo's severed arm and waving it meaningfully. "Then how did you just HAPPEN to have one of your evil robots handy on our prom night, huh? Answer me THAT, Smart Guy!"
"I ... Well ... I ..." Mojo cast a spiteful glare off to one side, harrumphed mightily, and grumbled, "I was going to use it to attack you at your graduation."
"You remembered our graduation?" Bubbles smiled. "Aww, that's so -sweet- of you!"
"BUBBLES!!" Buttercup barked.
"Sorry," the blonde replied, looking downcast.
- A Night to Remember, 4th Symphony
*******
and one more bit featuring Mojo Jojo:
"I don't beLIEVE this!" Buttercup blurted. "Who the HELL thought it would be a good idea to hire MOJO freakin' JOJO to MC the freakin' PROM?"
"I will also be acting as disc jockey!" Mojo Jojo declared
grandly. "When the band is taking breaks there will be records
played, and as disc jockey, I shall be the one who plays the records which are played when the band is taking a break!
"Some of you already know me... those would be the ones readying weapons. But have no fear! Do not worry! Experience no trepidation!" Holding up a conciliatory palm, Mojo Jojo went on, "For I have pledged to higher authorities than this school's administration that I shall commit no evil acts! Tonight. (Except perhaps to make you all dance the Time Warp.)"
This led to a chorus of horrified protests:
"Noooo!"
"You FIEND!"
"You WOULDN'T!"
"SILENCE!!!" Mojo Jojo roared. "Or it shall be the Macarena!"
-A Night to Remember, 4th Symphony
*******
"I don't want it anymore," Mac went on.
Scotty did indeed help himself to a second drink, this one less enthusiastic than the first. "A fine sipping whiskey indeed," he said. "Now, I ask myself, why would a young man like yourself be disposin' of such respectable whiskey in such a disrespectful fashion?"
Before Mac could answer, Scotty continued, "It must be woman troubles. Never did I see a man give up drinkin' but for woman troubles. Well, that and th' DTs, but mostly woman troubles. So let me guess," he said, sipping the whiskey and looking upwards as he said, "Your ladylove and you had a tiff. There were words spoken. Y'went away, thinking all wa' lost, and blew your pay on as fine a bottle of hard liquor as you could afford. Then, just before you could get yourself blind stinking drunk, your lady calls ye and says all is forgiven. Blessing your lucky stars, y'decide to put temptation behind ye once and for all by disposin' of a good day's wages in th' sink. An' there we are."
Mac stared at Scotty in awe. "That is truly amazing," Mac said at last.
"Och, noo," Scotty shrugged.
"I am just astounded," Mac continued. "That is absolutely, precisely, one hundred percent wrong. How do you do it?"
Scotty chuckled and said, "Well, I'm a miracle worker, not a mind-reader. For that ye want Captain Spock. How about ye tell me why, then?"
- Coming to Terms, 3rd symphony
*******
If I ever get my hands on a reality travelling device, I'm gonna have to visit UF's planet Funkotron, I suspect it has to be seen to truly be believed.
When poor Haley was finally tagged out and trudged dejectedly back toward the visitors' dugout, that outrage came forth in a high, clear voice that sliced through the cheers of the reprieved Knights fans like a laser beam:
"Hay-LEE DIT-SHIZZY yo! Granny-anny nevva go unda wit'a SUCKA-FOO SHOOBY-DOO dilly-o! Homeys oughta haul yo SACKY-DUMP slackit-back'a NAR SHADDAA! Prezzy SLUG-TELLY BIZZY-*BAM*!"
There was a moment of complete silence in Field Seating Section 11. Slowly but surely, the look of anger suffusing Fuu Hououji's face disintegrated, replaced by an expression of pure horror. A scarlet flush crawled up from under her collar all the way to her hairline, and hesitantly she sank back into her seat, head bowed.
A moment later all the people staring at her broke into applause and cheers, which made her feel a little better, but not much.
Chip buried his face in his hand, not out of embarrassment, but to save himself from his girlfriend's wrath should he burst out laughing at her in public. It always gave him a kick when Fuu got agitated enough to slip back into her mother tongue in public. The double takes she got were worth the price of admission - but normally she didn't do it in front of -quite- so many people, nor turn -quite- that shade of red.
-The Kindness of Strangers, 4th Symphony
********
One of my all time favorite bits from UF.
He was tall, thin and dusky, with long silver hair pulled back from his aquiline face in a ponytail, and he walked with a lazy, arrogant sort of grace. He was absolutely the last person Juri Arisugawa would ever have expected to find mocking her, even under these surreal circumstances. For a few harrowing seconds, her still-awakening, understrength mind was paralyzed with the horrified, disbelieving notion that the dead walked.
The speaker seemed to recognize this; his teeth gleamed white in the shadows on his face as he smiled, chuckling darkly. Then he took a step forward so that one of the irregular beams of light from the ceiling fell across his face and the gleaming badge on his chest.
Relief flooded through Juri - most incongruous relief, from her confronter's point of view. Her body, which had stiffened visibly against its restraints at the sight of him, relaxed, sagging against the bonds that held her more or less upright.
Ahmed Garcia didn't really know what to make of that. He had carried out a great number of interrogations and other such operations since his assignment to Black Omega, and never once had anyone, in waking and recognizing his uniform, had the thought,
"Oh - it's only a Psi Cop."
- Hunter Rose, 4th Symphony
*******
Zany sense of humor and fascination with Klingon culture, contrasting with Data's deliberate, pedantic manner, lead people to believe that Lore has emotions and Data does not. The truth is that Data's just boring.
- Exerpt from the crew write ups Utena reads while preparing to take command of the Challenger. (Second Chances, 4th Symphony of the Sword)__________________
"I know when I'm not wanted. I usually don't listen, but I know." - Harper (Andromeda)
___________________________
"I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - George Carlin