No fluttering, Fate told the butterflies roosting in her stomach as firmly as she could. They ignored her completely, and she sighed and fished an onigiri out of her obentou. Never mind that it was only a matter of time until someone worked up the courage to come ask her all the questions that'd be pressing into all of their minds, or more importantly that once that ice had been broken all the others would follow, leaning in and talking and pressing and closing and...
She broke off the thought and took a careful, deliberate breath. It was an absurd thing to worry about, and she knew it, but it kept her from thinking on the more important concern.
Why hadn't Lindy told her?
It had to have been a mistake, a miscommunication. She hadn't wanted to worry her, to disturb her... She hadn't known Fate was actually going out today, or had just forgotten, or, or...
Who was she kidding? Lindy was an Admiral, and a good one - she noticed details but planned for everything, missed nothing and forgot nothing, which latter two were mostly a curse in a parent. She hadn't told Fate what she was planning to do today because she chose not to.
But why?
What good could come of a surprise like this? Why wouldn't Lindy warn her daughter about...
...her daughter...
Something in her chest squeezed painfully, and the onigiri slipped from her grasp and feel on the table with a plop.
Lindy was better than that... she wouldn't do that... she, she wouldn't have lied she didn't need to take her in in the first place so why would she want to change her mind if she was going to she'd have done it years ago and and andandand...
She forced herself to swallow a sip of juice. Whatever... whatever Lindy... san... had or had not decided, she was far from the lost little girl she'd been. She had Hayate, who'd never failed any of her friends, she had Alyssa and Suzuka who'd been so supportive...
She had Nanoha, who'd reached out and saved her when no one else had - when she'd never yet had a reason to do so...
It rocked her to realize, though, that if Lindy's change had been caused by a change in herself, then it was all too possible that that same change, being extreme enough to drive away a mother, would do the same to... the same to...
"...Fate-chan!"
The voice that had been speaking in increasingly worried tones for the last minute or so abruptly rose in pitch and volume, and broke her from her thoughts. She shook her head free of the cobwebs and smiled. "Alyssa, sorry. I was just woolgathering - what did you say?"
The notorious 'Miss Bannings' gave her fellow blonde a worried look and discarded any thought she might have had of continuing into the questions and conversation she'd been nominated to relay from the rest of their class. Fate was so utterly controlled most of the time that for her to be this transparent meant that something was really upsetting her. "Never mind that. Fate-chan, what's wrong?"
Fate looked down, not meeting her eyes. "Have... have I changed? Did I... do something and... and I missed it? Is there..." She seemed to flail for words for a moment, then gave up and shrugged, and started to worry at her bottom lip.
Where had this come from? "Fate..."
w00t. w00t, I say.
Ja, -n
===========
===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
She broke off the thought and took a careful, deliberate breath. It was an absurd thing to worry about, and she knew it, but it kept her from thinking on the more important concern.
Why hadn't Lindy told her?
It had to have been a mistake, a miscommunication. She hadn't wanted to worry her, to disturb her... She hadn't known Fate was actually going out today, or had just forgotten, or, or...
Who was she kidding? Lindy was an Admiral, and a good one - she noticed details but planned for everything, missed nothing and forgot nothing, which latter two were mostly a curse in a parent. She hadn't told Fate what she was planning to do today because she chose not to.
But why?
What good could come of a surprise like this? Why wouldn't Lindy warn her daughter about...
...her daughter...
Something in her chest squeezed painfully, and the onigiri slipped from her grasp and feel on the table with a plop.
Lindy was better than that... she wouldn't do that... she, she wouldn't have lied she didn't need to take her in in the first place so why would she want to change her mind if she was going to she'd have done it years ago and and andandand...
She forced herself to swallow a sip of juice. Whatever... whatever Lindy... san... had or had not decided, she was far from the lost little girl she'd been. She had Hayate, who'd never failed any of her friends, she had Alyssa and Suzuka who'd been so supportive...
She had Nanoha, who'd reached out and saved her when no one else had - when she'd never yet had a reason to do so...
It rocked her to realize, though, that if Lindy's change had been caused by a change in herself, then it was all too possible that that same change, being extreme enough to drive away a mother, would do the same to... the same to...
"...Fate-chan!"
The voice that had been speaking in increasingly worried tones for the last minute or so abruptly rose in pitch and volume, and broke her from her thoughts. She shook her head free of the cobwebs and smiled. "Alyssa, sorry. I was just woolgathering - what did you say?"
The notorious 'Miss Bannings' gave her fellow blonde a worried look and discarded any thought she might have had of continuing into the questions and conversation she'd been nominated to relay from the rest of their class. Fate was so utterly controlled most of the time that for her to be this transparent meant that something was really upsetting her. "Never mind that. Fate-chan, what's wrong?"
Fate looked down, not meeting her eyes. "Have... have I changed? Did I... do something and... and I missed it? Is there..." She seemed to flail for words for a moment, then gave up and shrugged, and started to worry at her bottom lip.
Where had this come from? "Fate..."
w00t. w00t, I say.
Ja, -n
===========
===============================================
"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."