What really struck me about this chapter came from the concordance part, in which Mr. Angel noted that the confession scene was written by Mr. Bob. This was
really a masterful piece of character development for both of the leads. In fact, this was a very emotionally affecting chapter on the whole, filled with
insights and real emotion.
So I'd like everyone to know that I did indeed greatly enjoy this chapter very, very much. Remember: I liked it. Honest.
This chapter was an example of some things that are, frankly, a bit skewed about this step. You have two view point characters who are able to indulge in
cultural in-jokes and are quite similar, in that they are sarky warriors. They are of course very different (I won't get into how they are different), but
there's just enough superficial similarities to them that having the 'let's have a misunderstanding and fight then team up afterwards', as well
as their atagonism throughout this walk is a bit . . . what's anime trope call it? Writer on Board.
Further, and I've mentioned this before, having these two strong characters in the forefront has really pushed aside Keiichi, the star of OMG, to the far
background. He seemed to have, if I remember correctly, two lines of dialogue in this entire chapter. And certainly he hasn't done much, said much,
either had a revelation or revealed something in this entire walk. His sister has much more to do in this walk than he did.
(Bringing up Megumi, she never seemed to have any of the mental/existential problems attributed to her, but then that's the source material. Still,
where's her cheery, cheeky optimism?)
And the pace of the chapters written so far as a whole seems a bit strange. I know that I should be able to articulate this much better if I am to write about
it, but . . . Marller was a background threat in the preceding chapters, before attacking and then being handily defeated last chapter by the convenient
power-up item, and this chapter is the lull before the almighty apocalypse. If you were to chart this, the graph would slope sharply upward and then downward
rather than climb steadily up and then steeply if more gently down. (That's in reference to an writing exercise where we'd show how stories are
usually structured as a kind of inverse parabola).
Anyway, once again, love the chapter.
-murmur
really a masterful piece of character development for both of the leads. In fact, this was a very emotionally affecting chapter on the whole, filled with
insights and real emotion.
So I'd like everyone to know that I did indeed greatly enjoy this chapter very, very much. Remember: I liked it. Honest.
This chapter was an example of some things that are, frankly, a bit skewed about this step. You have two view point characters who are able to indulge in
cultural in-jokes and are quite similar, in that they are sarky warriors. They are of course very different (I won't get into how they are different), but
there's just enough superficial similarities to them that having the 'let's have a misunderstanding and fight then team up afterwards', as well
as their atagonism throughout this walk is a bit . . . what's anime trope call it? Writer on Board.
Further, and I've mentioned this before, having these two strong characters in the forefront has really pushed aside Keiichi, the star of OMG, to the far
background. He seemed to have, if I remember correctly, two lines of dialogue in this entire chapter. And certainly he hasn't done much, said much,
either had a revelation or revealed something in this entire walk. His sister has much more to do in this walk than he did.
(Bringing up Megumi, she never seemed to have any of the mental/existential problems attributed to her, but then that's the source material. Still,
where's her cheery, cheeky optimism?)
And the pace of the chapters written so far as a whole seems a bit strange. I know that I should be able to articulate this much better if I am to write about
it, but . . . Marller was a background threat in the preceding chapters, before attacking and then being handily defeated last chapter by the convenient
power-up item, and this chapter is the lull before the almighty apocalypse. If you were to chart this, the graph would slope sharply upward and then downward
rather than climb steadily up and then steeply if more gently down. (That's in reference to an writing exercise where we'd show how stories are
usually structured as a kind of inverse parabola).
Anyway, once again, love the chapter.
-murmur