Tales of The Legendary: Snippets of The Legendary

[Sofaspud]

Rhea burst into the apartment in a blur, dashing past the couch where Terrence and Lisa were attempting to watch a movie and rushing straight into the bedroom.
The startled duo looked at each other, blinked, and craned their necks to see where Rhea had gone. A frustrated "Darnit, they're not here!"
from the bedroom floated down the hall.

Terrence cleared his throat. "Um, Rhea? We're out here...."

Rhea appeared in the doorway as if teleported. "TERRENCE!"

"... yes?"

"You have GOT to see these! They're SO CUTE!" So saying, Rhea dropped a large -- and heavy -- shopping bag on Terrence's lap. Lisa leaned
over to peer inside as Terrence grumbled.

"... glad I'm invulnerable, that would've hurt otherwise..."

Lisa blinked in surprise, then reached into the bag and pulled out a plain cardboard box, adorned with a sticker proclaiming the contents to be one
"TERRENCE KNIGHT SUPER LOVE KIT, PROTOTYPE 3". A second box was labeled "TERRENCE KNIGHT SUPER-MAGNUMS", with a sidebar on the sticker
proclaiming the contents to be hypoallergenic, radiation-proof, and all-natural.

There were many other boxes, all along similar lines, from creams to oils to battery-operated toys. A particularly large box -- Lisa didn't open it --
said "Experience the LEGENDARY TERRENCE KNIGHT for yourself!"

Rhea beamed at the two as they slowly turned their heads to stare at her.

"See? The manager at Second Skin is sorta a friend of mine, and she was in the back room when we went there, and she saw YOU, Terrence -- she thinks
you're really hot, by the way -- and she knows this guy who knows this guy who specializes in adult products, and --"

"Rhea?"

"Hmm?"

"NO."

Lisa cleared her throat. "These haven't gone on sale yet, have they?"

"Well... no... these are just the prototypes, she's got lots of other ideas too, but she needs Terrence's approval. Oh! Terrence, you
wouldn't mind appearing in an ad spot, would you?"

"Rhea..." Terrence growled, blushing. "NO!"

"Aww..." Rhea pouted. "But the surveys got a good response...."

Terrence whimpered. Lisa patted his knee. "I think you'd better tell her no, Rhea."

Rhea sighed. "Oh, alright." She picked up the fallen boxes and dropped them back in the bag. Then she brightened. "Well, if nothing else we
get to keep the samples!"

--sofaspud
--"Listening to your kid is the audio equivalent of a Salvador Dali painting, Spud." --OpMegs