TGNH Ch. 5 - Complete!

[Herr Bad Moon]

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Tatsurakurai no Jutsu, the Dragon Thunderbolt, was the most chakra-intensive elemental ninjutsu ever created. It was also one of the least efficient, which was occaisionally a blessing in disguise.

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Especially when you got a Demon Fox inside your stomach you can tap.
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The blow broke several of his ribs - not all, not enough to make the entire ribcage give and jab sharp fragments of bone into vital organs, but some - and knocked him back to tumble limply across the ground before her.

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Wow, can't even maintain a Byukugan but still can snap ribs. What the hell is inside your head guy?

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"Far worse. That the two factions were engaged in a struggle along lines that were... close enough to how we look at good and evil, but that they couldn't battle directly. That the backlash from that sort of struggle would destroy the reality they all wanted preserved, for one reason or another.

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That's an interesting take on an old theme. And the "point system" is cool, giving an explanation why they don't dump tons of super strong people into a single world.

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Neshan made a sort of 'more or less' wave. "The way he explained it to me was that each side kept a running total of 'points' that they could expend recruiting and outfitting their agents. Grabbing That Woman the way they did, the bad guys have spent a lot of points on this world, but they've had to compromise on other fronts to do so. I'd never defeat her in a million years - but if I can teach -you- to do it, I win anyway, and even... even if everything goes wrong for us, my patrons have been able to use the points they saved by only getting me to win victories on dozens of other worlds."

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See what happens when you spend all your points in being insanely strong and psychotic? Shoulda saved some for Figuring Shit Out catagory.

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He found where they were being hidden until we could move them to some secure location.

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Fudged wording.

One of the big events I was looking forward to seeing you alter was the Uchiha Massacre. I think you nailed it, as blatant change would have just had Itachi ice a lot more people besides the Uchiha.

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Then Sakura had a horrible thought. "Sensei? Are -all- of our missions going to be like that?"

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That's exactly how it played in my head when I thought of the line. Sakura seemed the likely one to say it too

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A pair of shuriken thunked into the wood of the door frame beside his head, and a minimal shift from within the pile on the bed found the intruding Genin fixed by a baleful, if sleepy, glare. "go 'way..." she hissed, then flopped her head back down into the curve of her host's neck.

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Oh man, that's priceless. I feared for Iruka's soul and wondered when Anko would finally make her move. Naruto's gonna need the brain bleech.
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Jon
"And that must have caused my dad's brain to break in half, replaced by a purely mechanical engine of revenge!"