It's an interesting piece of work. (Just read the two posted chapters.) What's needed though is a little explaining that Michael is really not much older than Harry. A lot of these soul-switched stories imply that the main character is a *lot* older than the original, and probably better informed, so that the character can serve as the representative of the audience. Foxboy's "I Was a Teenage Dummy Plug" is a good example of this. (And he's gone even longer than *I* have between updates, much to my dismay. ![[Image: smile.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/smile.gif)
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All McGonagall needs is to be written a little colder, as described elsewhere. She never loses her anger in the sense that you see that anger as a "hot" thing. For her, the angrier she gets, the quieter her voice gets. That's a very effective tool for conveying someone who's *so* self-controlled and so driven that when she's *really* mad, she's focussed ALL her attention on you, and *only* you. So the more she seems to tune out the world to focus on one person, the quieter she gets until she's so quiet, the whole room is utterly silent, and her voice cracks like a whip. The students would all be *very* scared of her, I imagine, and would be placing bets on Harry getting kicked out of school if he kept picking fights with the teachers.
As for his true identity, I expect Dumbledore knows, if you haven't thought of it already. My reason? The Sorting Hat is kept in his study, and it would have told him that the soul inside Potter's body isn't Harry Potter. The hat suggested in the private conversation they had that it *knew* he was someone else, but chose to tuck Michael away in a corner where he couldn't do any damage until they could get it all cleared up. Also of course, the Hat will tend to obey the desires of the student, and Michael was thinking of Ravenclaw.
I'm wondering how you're going to handle the split-soul angle, if Harry every winds up back in his own body, part of a school system he doesn't even know exists, sorted into a House he's probably unsuited for, with people he doesn't know from a hole in the ground.![[Image: happy.gif]](http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/happy.gif)
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Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.
)All McGonagall needs is to be written a little colder, as described elsewhere. She never loses her anger in the sense that you see that anger as a "hot" thing. For her, the angrier she gets, the quieter her voice gets. That's a very effective tool for conveying someone who's *so* self-controlled and so driven that when she's *really* mad, she's focussed ALL her attention on you, and *only* you. So the more she seems to tune out the world to focus on one person, the quieter she gets until she's so quiet, the whole room is utterly silent, and her voice cracks like a whip. The students would all be *very* scared of her, I imagine, and would be placing bets on Harry getting kicked out of school if he kept picking fights with the teachers.
As for his true identity, I expect Dumbledore knows, if you haven't thought of it already.
My reason? The Sorting Hat is kept in his study, and it would have told him that the soul inside Potter's body isn't Harry Potter. The hat suggested in the private conversation they had that it *knew* he was someone else, but chose to tuck Michael away in a corner where he couldn't do any damage until they could get it all cleared up. Also of course, the Hat will tend to obey the desires of the student, and Michael was thinking of Ravenclaw.I'm wondering how you're going to handle the split-soul angle, if Harry every winds up back in his own body, part of a school system he doesn't even know exists, sorted into a House he's probably unsuited for, with people he doesn't know from a hole in the ground.
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Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.