"Well now! Your problem isn't so terrible after all!" Soun declared, turning Ranma by the shoulder so that they were looking at the three sisters. "Look! My eldest daughter, Kasumi! She's nineteen." She also looked shell-shocked, particularly compared to the impassive look on the next sister's face. "My second daughter, Nabiki. She's seventeen. And my third daughter, Akane. She's sixteen." Akane, if anything, looked terrified by Ranma. "Pick anyone you want," Soun instructed. "She'll be your fiancee."
"It's settled then," Kasumi said instantly, holding her youngest sister's shoulders. "It's Akane."
"Yes, they're made for each other," Nabiki agreed.
"This isn't funny!" Akane protested, glaring at Nabiki. "Why does it have to be me?"
"You hate boys, right?" Nabiki asked her.
"That's right!" Kasumi continued. "How fortunate that Ranma is half-girl!"
"No way!" Akane exclaimed. "Don't expect me to marry that hentai!"
Ranma gave her a perplexed look, then examined the faces of everyone in the room quickly. It was Soun that the young martial artist turned to for answers. "What in the world are you all talking about?" she asked. "What is a fiancee? What is this marry thing that your daughters want Akane to do? And who and what is this hentai she is talking about?"
"You're the hentai!" Akane shouted, then paused and joined her sisters in giving Ranma an astonished look.
"Eh?" Ranma said and blinked. "I am a hentai?" She frowned. "But what does that mean?"
Soun gave Genma a confused look and then patted Ranma on the shoulder. "Er, your fiancee is the person that you will marry," he explained carefully.
"Then why is Akane supposed to marry?" Ranma enquired. "If I am to have a fiancee then would I not be the person who marries?"
Kasumi opened and closed her mouth helplessly but Nabiki gave Ranma an accusing stare. "You expect us to believe that you don't know what marriage is? Weren't your parents married?"
"Of course we are!" Genma shouted indignantly.
"Parents?" Three guesses who asked that.
"Your mother and father!" Nabiki snapped. "You can't possibly be that stupid."
Ranma spread her hands helplessly. "I know what a father is," she said hesitantly. "Him over there. But what is a mother?"
"The woman he's married to..." Nabiki said and then tailed off at the blank look in Ranma's eyes. "Oh don't try to tell me that you don't know what I'm talking about."
"But I don't!" Ranma shouted, a flare of anger in her blue eyes. "What is a parent that my father is one and some woman is my mother - whatever you mean by that!? You know nothing about martial arts compared to me, why should I know all this stuff just because you do!"
Soun gupled and backed off from Ranma, who was practically glowing with anger. "Er, ah, Saotome, I think that this really is a father's responsibility..."
"WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME, OLD MAN!" Ranma shrieked, her voice reaching a distinctly unpleasant pitch.
"Marriage," Nabiki said, her voice laced with sarcasm, "is 'the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law'."
There was a long pause and then Ranma shook her head. "Okay, that raises more questions than I had. First, 'marriage' is something to do with 'marry'?"
"To marry is to enter into a marriage," Kasumi said softly. "How can you possibly not know this?"
"And how would you expect me to learn this?" Ranma asked. "I don't go out of my way to learn esoteric information, you know?"
"There's nothing esoteric about it," Kasumi protested. "Your parents were married, your father said so."
"Yes, yes. So there was some 'consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law' between Pops and some woman - this mother person I apparently have or had. So what? I only know what half those words mean, how can it have anything to do with me?"
"How can you not even know who your mother is?" Nabiki asked. "How can you not even care?" She could see tears trickling down her father's face as he remembered her mother. "She was the most important person in the world to you. She carried you for nine months and you say she has nothing to do with you!?"
"Pops carried me around until I could walk - and he's a useless fat lump!"
"Not like that," Akane corrected him. "Nabiki means your mother carried you inside her, before you were born." She shook her head at Ranma's blank look. "Kami! Where do you think babies come from?"
Ranma blinked. "Er... I dunno. Never thought about it."
"What did you think about?" Nabiki asked, a bitter edge in her voice. "Assuming that you ever have."
"That ain't such a nice thing to say," Ranma noted. "I think plenty. You think I could get so good at the Art if I didn't?"
"WhatEVER," Nabiki snorted. "Any more questions?"
"Consensual? Contractual? Hentai?" Ranma suggested, pronouncing each carefully.
"Consensual means that everyone agrees to something. Contractual means legally binding. Hentai," Kasumi explained, with a slight blush, "means abnormal or improper. It can also mean transformed," she added quickly, knowing full well that Akane had not meant it in that way. "But it's probably best not to describe yourself that way, Ranma. It, er, often means... when I say improper I mean, oh dear..."
"Sexually improper," Nabiki smirked.
"Sexually?" Ranma asked innocently.
Akane gawped. "You... don't know that either?" she asked weakly.
Ranma's gaze was withering. "Nope. And if consensual means what your sister said then we can't get married. 'Cause we'd both have to agree to it and you don't. I don't see what the big deal is but since it's not happening, I guess I don't care."
You must marry Akane! Genma declared. This is a matter of family honour!
How? Ranma asked. What does family honour have to do with marriage?
There was a stunned silence.
Because of oath that Saotome and I took to join the schools, Soun explained carefully. This is an agreement between our families and for either of you to refuse would stain the honour of both families.
Ranma frowned. Thats not my fault, he said reasonably. Akane has two sisters. Although if theyre trying to make her marry me and she doesnt want to, then its them who are rejecting the agreement. I dont have anything to do with that. Since its a matter of family honour and its members of your family that are objecting, that makes getting one of them to agree your problem.
And youll marry whoever agrees? Nabiki said sarcastically. No further objections?
It doesnt seem like such a big deal, Ranma said frankly. We do this marriage thing, then I can get back to my life and you can get on with yours. Honour is satisfied and we dont have to look at each other anymore. Frankly, I dont want to have any more to do with any of you than I absolutely have to.
Akane tried to break the table over Ranmas head and then dropped it as Ranma casually vanished, only to reappear on top of it, his added weight making it too heavy for her to continue holding. Nabikis face was pale with anger and the slightest expression of dismay had crossed Kasumis face. He turned to look at the two fathers and recoiled as he saw Souns head, vastly inflated and breathing smoke and flames.
HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY FAMILY! the Tendo patriarch bellowed.
"Whaddaya mean, 'insult'?" Ranma exclaimed. "I ain't said anything bad about you, just that I don't wanna be around ya? And you actin' like this is why! You're all nuts!"
"Ranma," Nabiki said with a serpentine smile. "I'd like to introduce you to someone that you haven't meet in a long while." She nodded towards the woman sitting at the table whose face was lightening up as the girl spoke. "This is Nodoka Saotome. Your mother."
Ranma looked at his mother and frowned. "Oh. Hello." He hesitated and then added, with patently false sincerity, "Pleased to meet you." Then he continued on his way across the room.
Nodoka's face frozen and she stared at Ranma with horrified fascination. "Ranma?"
He paused and hummed enquiringly. When she said nothing, he turned his head to look at her again. "Was there something?"
"I'm your mother!" she exclaimed. "Is that really all the greeting that you have for me?"
The boy considered that for a moment and then shrugged. "Eh. What would you suggest?"
"How about a hug?" Nabiki suggested quietly.
"I think that that would be rather unseemly," Ranma said in a disapproving voice. "We've hardly met and there's no reason to presume that sort of closeness."
Nodoka fainted.
"how could you?" Nabiki whispered, staring down at the fallen woman, then looking at Ranma, who was directing a somewhat perplexed expression at Nodoka. "How can you treat your own mother like that! You're a monster!"
Ranma froze... and then with a careful precision that was light years from his usual easy grace, stalked out of the room.
Kasumi chose that minute to walk through from the kitchen, just too late to see Ranma. "Oh my," she exclaimed, looking at Nodoka and at Nabiki, who was trembling with anger. "Whatever happened?"D for Drakensis
"An ugly macho guy can never beat an intelligent, slender, popular, and handsome hero."
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
"It's settled then," Kasumi said instantly, holding her youngest sister's shoulders. "It's Akane."
"Yes, they're made for each other," Nabiki agreed.
"This isn't funny!" Akane protested, glaring at Nabiki. "Why does it have to be me?"
"You hate boys, right?" Nabiki asked her.
"That's right!" Kasumi continued. "How fortunate that Ranma is half-girl!"
"No way!" Akane exclaimed. "Don't expect me to marry that hentai!"
Ranma gave her a perplexed look, then examined the faces of everyone in the room quickly. It was Soun that the young martial artist turned to for answers. "What in the world are you all talking about?" she asked. "What is a fiancee? What is this marry thing that your daughters want Akane to do? And who and what is this hentai she is talking about?"
"You're the hentai!" Akane shouted, then paused and joined her sisters in giving Ranma an astonished look.
"Eh?" Ranma said and blinked. "I am a hentai?" She frowned. "But what does that mean?"
Soun gave Genma a confused look and then patted Ranma on the shoulder. "Er, your fiancee is the person that you will marry," he explained carefully.
"Then why is Akane supposed to marry?" Ranma enquired. "If I am to have a fiancee then would I not be the person who marries?"
Kasumi opened and closed her mouth helplessly but Nabiki gave Ranma an accusing stare. "You expect us to believe that you don't know what marriage is? Weren't your parents married?"
"Of course we are!" Genma shouted indignantly.
"Parents?" Three guesses who asked that.
"Your mother and father!" Nabiki snapped. "You can't possibly be that stupid."
Ranma spread her hands helplessly. "I know what a father is," she said hesitantly. "Him over there. But what is a mother?"
"The woman he's married to..." Nabiki said and then tailed off at the blank look in Ranma's eyes. "Oh don't try to tell me that you don't know what I'm talking about."
"But I don't!" Ranma shouted, a flare of anger in her blue eyes. "What is a parent that my father is one and some woman is my mother - whatever you mean by that!? You know nothing about martial arts compared to me, why should I know all this stuff just because you do!"
Soun gupled and backed off from Ranma, who was practically glowing with anger. "Er, ah, Saotome, I think that this really is a father's responsibility..."
"WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME, OLD MAN!" Ranma shrieked, her voice reaching a distinctly unpleasant pitch.
"Marriage," Nabiki said, her voice laced with sarcasm, "is 'the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law'."
There was a long pause and then Ranma shook her head. "Okay, that raises more questions than I had. First, 'marriage' is something to do with 'marry'?"
"To marry is to enter into a marriage," Kasumi said softly. "How can you possibly not know this?"
"And how would you expect me to learn this?" Ranma asked. "I don't go out of my way to learn esoteric information, you know?"
"There's nothing esoteric about it," Kasumi protested. "Your parents were married, your father said so."
"Yes, yes. So there was some 'consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law' between Pops and some woman - this mother person I apparently have or had. So what? I only know what half those words mean, how can it have anything to do with me?"
"How can you not even know who your mother is?" Nabiki asked. "How can you not even care?" She could see tears trickling down her father's face as he remembered her mother. "She was the most important person in the world to you. She carried you for nine months and you say she has nothing to do with you!?"
"Pops carried me around until I could walk - and he's a useless fat lump!"
"Not like that," Akane corrected him. "Nabiki means your mother carried you inside her, before you were born." She shook her head at Ranma's blank look. "Kami! Where do you think babies come from?"
Ranma blinked. "Er... I dunno. Never thought about it."
"What did you think about?" Nabiki asked, a bitter edge in her voice. "Assuming that you ever have."
"That ain't such a nice thing to say," Ranma noted. "I think plenty. You think I could get so good at the Art if I didn't?"
"WhatEVER," Nabiki snorted. "Any more questions?"
"Consensual? Contractual? Hentai?" Ranma suggested, pronouncing each carefully.
"Consensual means that everyone agrees to something. Contractual means legally binding. Hentai," Kasumi explained, with a slight blush, "means abnormal or improper. It can also mean transformed," she added quickly, knowing full well that Akane had not meant it in that way. "But it's probably best not to describe yourself that way, Ranma. It, er, often means... when I say improper I mean, oh dear..."
"Sexually improper," Nabiki smirked.
"Sexually?" Ranma asked innocently.
Akane gawped. "You... don't know that either?" she asked weakly.
Ranma's gaze was withering. "Nope. And if consensual means what your sister said then we can't get married. 'Cause we'd both have to agree to it and you don't. I don't see what the big deal is but since it's not happening, I guess I don't care."
You must marry Akane! Genma declared. This is a matter of family honour!
How? Ranma asked. What does family honour have to do with marriage?
There was a stunned silence.
Because of oath that Saotome and I took to join the schools, Soun explained carefully. This is an agreement between our families and for either of you to refuse would stain the honour of both families.
Ranma frowned. Thats not my fault, he said reasonably. Akane has two sisters. Although if theyre trying to make her marry me and she doesnt want to, then its them who are rejecting the agreement. I dont have anything to do with that. Since its a matter of family honour and its members of your family that are objecting, that makes getting one of them to agree your problem.
And youll marry whoever agrees? Nabiki said sarcastically. No further objections?
It doesnt seem like such a big deal, Ranma said frankly. We do this marriage thing, then I can get back to my life and you can get on with yours. Honour is satisfied and we dont have to look at each other anymore. Frankly, I dont want to have any more to do with any of you than I absolutely have to.
Akane tried to break the table over Ranmas head and then dropped it as Ranma casually vanished, only to reappear on top of it, his added weight making it too heavy for her to continue holding. Nabikis face was pale with anger and the slightest expression of dismay had crossed Kasumis face. He turned to look at the two fathers and recoiled as he saw Souns head, vastly inflated and breathing smoke and flames.
HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY FAMILY! the Tendo patriarch bellowed.
"Whaddaya mean, 'insult'?" Ranma exclaimed. "I ain't said anything bad about you, just that I don't wanna be around ya? And you actin' like this is why! You're all nuts!"
"Ranma," Nabiki said with a serpentine smile. "I'd like to introduce you to someone that you haven't meet in a long while." She nodded towards the woman sitting at the table whose face was lightening up as the girl spoke. "This is Nodoka Saotome. Your mother."
Ranma looked at his mother and frowned. "Oh. Hello." He hesitated and then added, with patently false sincerity, "Pleased to meet you." Then he continued on his way across the room.
Nodoka's face frozen and she stared at Ranma with horrified fascination. "Ranma?"
He paused and hummed enquiringly. When she said nothing, he turned his head to look at her again. "Was there something?"
"I'm your mother!" she exclaimed. "Is that really all the greeting that you have for me?"
The boy considered that for a moment and then shrugged. "Eh. What would you suggest?"
"How about a hug?" Nabiki suggested quietly.
"I think that that would be rather unseemly," Ranma said in a disapproving voice. "We've hardly met and there's no reason to presume that sort of closeness."
Nodoka fainted.
"how could you?" Nabiki whispered, staring down at the fallen woman, then looking at Ranma, who was directing a somewhat perplexed expression at Nodoka. "How can you treat your own mother like that! You're a monster!"
Ranma froze... and then with a careful precision that was light years from his usual easy grace, stalked out of the room.
Kasumi chose that minute to walk through from the kitchen, just too late to see Ranma. "Oh my," she exclaimed, looking at Nodoka and at Nabiki, who was trembling with anger. "Whatever happened?"D for Drakensis
"An ugly macho guy can never beat an intelligent, slender, popular, and handsome hero."
D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
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