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Sanity absent... going walkabout
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A few hours ago, my grandfather died.
I'm still numb, and prone to breaking into tears at any moment. I'll be back when I'm more in control or to make a memorial post. 
My deepest sympathies, Microhue.
-- Bob --------- Then the horns kicked in... ...and my shoes began to squeak. 
well damn. My sympathies as well, Hue. Also, if you ever need to talk about it, I'll listen.
And Sanity? Mine went walkabout years ago and never came back. Havn't missed it... Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky? That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry- NO QUARTER!!! -- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children 
My Condolences, Shader. Take care of yourself
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.'' -- James Nicoll
Bob, if you want to move this to somewhere more appropriate, go ahead.
Where does one begin? The frustration with the English language, how poorly it expresses raw emotions, particular in the hands of someone with my limited skill-set: It is a brutal language. You can not sum up a man such has he was with just a few words, to do so would be a gross mockery of epic proportions. It would be a dis-service to both the language and my Grandfather, and the to many emotions. But I am compelled to try. Who was my Grandfather? He was a kind man. A gentle man. He always had a smile to share, regardless of how lousy he felt. He was 91 years young and full of life (he reconned he had at least another 3 years left in him). He still had all his mental powers about him, he was sharp as a razor, with a dry wit. Only this last little bit did his body start to slow down. Many I've talked to recently haven't had a bad thing to say about him, even our acquaintances that we though hated our guts or hardly knew of us have rung though messages of support or dropped off meals. For the last 27 odd years he's been living next door to us, so we could keep an eye on each other. He taught me the basics of chess, not that either of us were any good at it, but it was time together. He even showed me the basics of painting. He was a whiz at oils. Sadly, I was not so good. Regardless he was just there, just across the way, around the corner, and his door was always open, and he was always willing to have a talk. Some of the things we talked about he's never told anyone else, and I promised him never to reveal them. He was married for 70 and half years. He raised 3 children, one of whom was my mother. He built numerous houses, even after heart attacks and the doctors said to slow down. He was proud of the fact he had driven every sort of truck that was legal to drive on the roads. He once held an unrestricted license. He worked on the Buses, in the quarry, and for the local council. He survived the Great Depression, World War 2, and numerous health scares. He even beat the doctors at their own game - he was given 5 years to live some 27 years ago. What's upsetting is he had just been released from hospital, under 24 hours beforehand. They had given him an infusion of iron and taken him off a Aspirin. They said they did it because they thought he was allergic to it. His doctor was horrified when he found out, and said that my Grandfather could have a stroke at any moment due to the stints he had and was to resume Aspirin ASAP. He never got the chance. We're not blaming anyone, but we say he had a massive stroke and was gone like that, although the record will show Natural Causes. The night he came home, as I was unloading the dishwasher for him, he asked me to make a coffee for him. I couldn't as I was under the pump due to time, and told him so. The look of disappointment on his face. If only I could go back and make that coffee. It was the last thing I said to him. I'd give virtually anything to have 5 more minutes with him, to make that coffee. I'm going to missing him something terrible. I was particularly close to him. I'm trying to be strong for the rest of the family as I'm the eldest and a lot has fallen on my shoulders but its the little things. Getting the study ready for the horde of relatives that have descended like vultures and seeing his hat... hearing his favorite jingle on the radio... to say its been interesting is an understatement. Driving around to tell all his friends, since I use to be his driver, also been rough. As anyone who's lost anyone close knows... its as if the worlds gone mad and lost a certain something. You put the brave face on, but inside you're screaming. Treasure every single moment you have with those you have. Shader |
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