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They Fight Crime
11-14-2011, 02:42 PM
Everybody has probably seen this site, but I just discovered it, so...
Quote:He's an
uncontrollable guerilla librarian haunted by memories of 'Nam. She's a
violent antique-collecting archaeologist from a different time and
place. They fight crime!
Is it just me, or does this come awfully close to certain iterations of the Doctor and River Song, if you replace 'Nam with the Last Great Time War?
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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Quote:He's an uncontrollable Catholic ex-con with a mysterious suitcase handcuffed to his arm. She's a cold-hearted tempestuous widow who hides her beauty behind a pair of thick-framed spectacles. They fight crime!
I could see somebody actually making this one.
Quote:He's a scrappy native American card sharp with nothing left to lose. She's a strong-willed insomniac detective with an evil twin sister. They fight crime!
This one seems familiar for some reason... but I don't know why.
Quote:He's a short-sighted native American vampire hunter possessed of the uncanny powers of an insect. She's a ditzy gold-digging politician with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime!
Somebody call Marvel Comics!
Quote:He's a superhumanly strong guitar-strumming dog-catcher on the hunt for the last specimen of a great and near-mythical creature. She's a virginal thirtysomething angel who inherited a spooky stately manor from her late maiden aunt. They fight crime!
Somebody write this. Please.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Oh, cool, it's back. It was gone for a while, or maybe it was just down the last time or two I looked for it. Anyway, it's great to see this classic again. Quote:He's a sword-wielding albino assassin in drag. She's a violent insomniac vampire with a song in her heart and a spring in her step. They fight crime!
Now this is an anime in the making, wouldn't you agree?
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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A few more:
Quote:He's an
impetuous arachnophobic rock star living undercover at Ringling Bros.
Circus. She's a wealthy African-American Valkyrie with only herself to
blame. They fight crime!
An arachnophobe at the circus...
Quote:He's a
sword-wielding albino gentleman spy from the 'hood. She's a sarcastic
red-headed research scientist from out of town. They fight crime!
This one could be actually be fairly interesting, maybe.
Quote:He's a witless Catholic jungle king on a mission from God. She's a brilliant goth magician's assistant with an incredible destiny. They fight crime!
As could this one.
Quote:He's an oversexed Catholic cyborg in a wheelchair. She's a sarcastic impetuous schoolgirl in the witness protection scheme. They fight crime!
That one has... unfortunate implications.
Quote:He's a superhumanly strong misogynist ex-con who hangs with the wrong crowd. She's a chain-smoking insomniac widow from a secret island of warrior women. They fight crime!
This one could be quite funny.
Quote:He's a Nobel
prize-winning overambitious firefighter haunted by memories of 'Nam.
She's a sharp-shooting psychic college professor prone to fits of
savage, blood-crazed rage. They fight crime!
And that one would go horribly wrong so quickly...
-----
Stand between the Silver Crystal and the Golden Sea.
"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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Jorlem Wrote:Quote:He's a Nobel prize-winning overambitious firefighter haunted by memories of 'Nam. She's a sharp-shooting psychic college professor prone to fits of savage, blood-crazed rage. They fight crime!
And that one would go horribly wrong so quickly... I think you mean "horribly, horribly right"...
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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robkelk Wrote:Jorlem Wrote:Quote:He's a Nobel prize-winning overambitious firefighter haunted by memories of 'Nam. She's a sharp-shooting psychic college professor prone to fits of savage, blood-crazed rage. They fight crime!
And that one would go horribly wrong so quickly...
I think you mean "horribly, horribly right"... Let's just say that Hilarity would Ensue, and leave it at that, shall we?
Edit:
Quote:He's a genetically engineered Jewish boxer fleeing from a secret government programme. She's a hard-bitten gold-digging mermaid who dreams of becoming Elvis. They fight crime!
I would watch this...
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"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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Quote:He's a maverick Jewish sorceror on the wrong side of the law. She's a wealthy
hypochondriac snake charmer descended from a line of powerful witches. They
fight crime!
I got a nice supernatural crimefighting duo vibe with this one.
Quote:He's a fast talking ninja rock star who dotes on his loving old ma. She's a
plucky psychic advertising executive with an evil twin sister. They fight crime!
Ninja rock star for the win!
Quote:He's an old-fashioned moralistic werewolf with a secret. She's a ditzy
wisecracking wrestler with her own daytime radio talk show. They fight crime!
Remus Lupin, crime fighter.
Quote:He's an underprivileged ninja paranormal investigator with acid for blood. She's
a green-fingered goth pearl diver from Mars. They fight crime!
Is it just me, or has the random generator gotten even weirder since the last thread?
----------------------------------------------------
"Anyone can be a winner if their definition of victory is flexible enough." - The DM of the Rings XXXV
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Quote:He's an
uncontrollable zombie safe cracker haunted by memories of 'Nam. She's a
bloodthirsty out-of-work cop with the power to see death. They
fight crime!
She always sees death haunting her partner. He always makes jokes about cracking her skull. This has potential.
---
The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."
>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI
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Bob Schroeck Wrote:Oh, cool, it's back. It was gone for a while, or maybe it was just down the last time or two I looked for it. Anyway, it's great to see this classic again.Quote:He's a sword-wielding albino assassin in drag. She's a violent insomniac vampire with a song in her heart and a spring in her step. They fight crime!
Now this is an anime in the making, wouldn't you agree? The scary part is, this sounds a *lot* like Cherie Priest's Bloodshot.
http://www.amazon.com/Blo...rie-Priest/dp/0345520602
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Quote:He's a suave
sweet-toothed waffle chef for the 21st century. She's a cold-hearted
junkie museum curator prone to fits of savage, blood-crazed rage. They
fight crime!
"Dear, your rage is showing. Have a waffle."
"With the Mocha-NoDoze icing?"
"Of course Dear."
"Very well, they live another day."
I like this pairing.
-----
Will the transhumanist future have catgirls? Does Japan still exist? Well, there is your answer.
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LilFluff Wrote:Quote:He's a suave
sweet-toothed waffle chef for the 21st century. She's a cold-hearted
junkie museum curator prone to fits of savage, blood-crazed rage. They
fight crime!
"Dear, your rage is showing. Have a waffle."
"With the Mocha-NoDoze icing?"
"Of course Dear."
"Very well, they live another day."
I like this pairing. ... isn't this an episode of 'the Pretender'? I could /swear/...
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Quote:He's a short-sighted devious sorceror with no name. She's an orphaned motormouth femme fatale who can talk to animals. They fight crime!
All I can think of is that she talks so much he's never actually had the chance to tell her his name, and the animals can't get a word in edgewise...
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Quote:He's an
obese devious cop on the edge. She's a man-hating nymphomaniac traffic
cop with the power to bend men's minds. They fight crime!
Of course they fight crime. They're both cops!
Quote:He's a shy
Jewish paranormal investigator moving from town to town, helping folk in
trouble. She's a transdimensional thirtysomething opera singer trying
to make a difference in a man's world. They fight crime!
The transdimensional thing adds a whole different angle to "a man's world."
Quote:He's a
maverick albino cyborg with a passion for fast cars. She's a pregnant
antique-collecting vampire from aristocratic European stock. They fight
crime!
So, World of Darkness, anyone?
Quote:He's a
one-legged neurotic cyborg with no name. She's a green-fingered
belly-dancing college professor with a flame-thrower. They fight crime!
Does being a cyborg cancel out the one-legged thing? Or does he not know either, and that's why he's neurotic?
-----
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"Youngsters these days just have no appreciation for the magnificence of the legendary cucumber." --Krityan Elder, Tales of Vesperia.
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Quote:He's a fiendish umbrella-wielding dwarf on a mission from God. She's a psychotic tomboy wrestler with only herself to blame. They fight crime!
Since when does the Penguin work with Batgirl?
Quote:He's a suicidal gay waffle chef haunted by memories of 'Nam. She's a virginal hypochondriac single mother trying to make a difference in a man's world. They fight crime!
They're also on the run from the Catholics...
---
The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."
>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI
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Let's see if I can get any gems from it:
Quote:He's an
all-American skateboarding jungle king haunted by memories of 'Nam.
She's a transdimensional cigar-chomping bounty hunter who can talk to
animals. They fight crime!
So that's what Tony Hawk is up to now.
Quote:He's a
globe-trotting chivalrous barbarian for the 21st century. She's a
beautiful junkie former first lady with an evil twin sister. They fight
crime!
Quote:He's a
maverick one-eyed assassin who hides his scarred face behind a mask.
She's a cold-hearted Bolivian wrestler from beyond the grave They fight
crime!
Phantom of the Opera meets WWF meets The Crow.
Quote:He's a suave
amnesiac grifter who believes he can never love again. She's a
man-hating insomniac single mother who don't take no shit from nobody.
They fight crime
This sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen... and a movie that I almost went and saw.
Quote:He's a witless
dishevelled paramedic whom everyone believes is mad. She's a
provocative junkie pearl diver on the trail of a serial killer. They
fight crime!
I can almost see this one.... "Time for your FIX!"
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