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Aphorisms for a Comic Book Universe
08-27-2013, 03:42 AM
We've got a list going ... well, started ... on the SJGames forums - http://forums.sjgames.com/showthread.php?t=115492
What have we missed? Aphorisms (as opposed to advice) that we have so far: - Never bring a gun to a swordfight.
- Magic is like a violin. An easy instrument to play...badly.
- In a world where life after death is confirmed, murder isn't the best way to solve a problem.
- The reason costumes frequently look like underwear is because that's what they are.
- Kill twice, bury once.
- Find the body, then burn it again.
- A niche in time can serve fine.
- If at first you don't succeed, retcon until you do.
- Hit your enemies hard and your new friends harder.
- They won't stay dead, unless they're your parents.
- Nothing says "stealthy" like Day-Glo Spandex.
- Angus MacGyver was an amateur.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Ha! Doug ought to know a few of these!
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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- The villain is never actually dead.
- The cult leader is never actually dead.
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"V, did you do something foolish?"
"Yes, and it was glorious."
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- If the dead cult leader had fanatic followers, you'll be seeing him/her again.- If there's a cute and harmless little girl/boy on the other team, target that first. If you don't, you will lose when they uncork their hideous power.- As above, if they have a decrepit old man/woman who just watches from the sidelines.
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Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.
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Quote:robkelk wrote:
- In a world where life after death is confirmed, murder isn't the best way to solve a problem.
In a world where people can come back from the dead, murder only makes your problem worse.
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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Remember, when you have to pick a side in a pitched battle and you don't know anyone the ugly and monstrous guys are often misunderstood good people and the pretty ones a bunch of complete and utter bastards.
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Dark is not always Evil and Light is not always Good, but as the saying goes, that's the way to bet.
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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If caught between two sides, take the third option.
Dead men tell tales.
Pets. Family. Friends. Colleagues. Country. Company. Money. Thus is the order of precedence of loyalty.
When a named hero does it, it's not illegal.
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When super-advanced technology (and/or magic) is available, you may only use it to solve the crisis at hand, and then promptly put it on a shelf and forget about it; no matter how useful it may be in more mundane applications.
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The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."
>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI
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Fighting one another is the superhero way of shaking hands.
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Big Brother is watching you. And damn, you are so bloody BORING.
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Yep...
08-27-2013, 10:25 PM
No. The Underwear goes on the outside.Being a successful heroine means being able to twist your spine so they can see your boobs and your butt.Don't worry about that titanic screw-up; there's always a ret-con.Grieve for your lost loved one, and then move on with your life; it creates better drama later.There is only two things in life you can count on. Taxes and taxes.
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Never fight the little old man who looks like he can barely walk. He'll kick your ass six ways to Sunday.
Ebony the Black Dragon
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Spandex, Latex, and Leather are the holy trinity of Costume Fabrics/Materials. In addition, all Female Supercostumes include Stiletto Heels, with only two exceptions: 1) The costume is a female version of a normally Male superhero (e.g. Supergirl), though not always the case (e.g. Batgirl/woman); 2) The character is a exaggerated tomboy who is both jealous and disdainful of her more beautiful peers (e.g. Jubilee).
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The Master said: "It is all in vain! I have never yet seen a man who can perceive his own faults and bring the charge home against himself."
>Analects: Book V, Chaper XXVI
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From post #12 of the parent thread: Quote:For want of a spider, the hero was lost.
(EDIT: As a side-note, some of these look more like rules of thumb for a superhero universe than aphorisms. Ah, well, still fun.)
So, can we turn any of these into aphorisms?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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Quote:Ankhani wrote:
Spandex, Latex, and Leather are the holy trinity of Costume Fabrics/Materials. In addition, all Female Supercostumes include Stiletto Heels, with only two exceptions: 1) The costume is a female version of a normally Male superhero (e.g. Supergirl), though not always the case (e.g. Batgirl/woman); 2) The character is a exaggerated tomboy who is both jealous and disdainful of her more beautiful peers (e.g. Jubilee).
You forgot the fourth corner of the holy quadrangle. Skin.
I have noticed that this trend is starting to shift (though with the inherent sexism of super-heroine art, it's more of a "two steps forward, one step back" sort of thing), but I've noticed that, in many cases, the heroines not wearing heels are the ones who fly. Supergirl, Power Girl, Mary Marvel, and many of the female members of the Legion of Super-Heroes (all of whom can fly, by virtue of either their powers or the standard-issue Legion flight rings) don't wear heels. Wonder Woman doesn't wear spikes, but rather boots. I can only assume that this is done because drawing the "from below" shots of flying characters in heels either is hard or looks dumb.
Ebony the Black Dragon
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Heels are what causes the hip action that girls seem to come by naturally. It's a physical cue, and as such, probably looks really silly mid-air. It draws attention away from the body and toward the shoe, when a flier is trying to draw attention toward the center of mass. That's probably why fliers don't wear anything that looks outlandish on the extremities. It has an undesired effect.
Also...
- Vampires. Vampirism fixes everything, and makes any character inherently more desirable. (Jubilee is a prime example of this. So, by a sideways extension, is Lady Death.)
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Jubilee is a vampire now? well I'm glad I stopped reading when I did >.
-Terry
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Yeah. Apparently when the Scarlet Witch when postal (again) and had that brief interlude where the world was reverted to a medieval state, Jubilee lost her powers. She was a norm for a while, but when a friend of hers from the super community visited her to try to cheer her up, she was basically in the wrong place at the wrong time. A vampire cultist with a bomb strapped to him ran into a public place and detonated himself. This had the effect of infecting everyone who swallowed any of his blood with vampirism. Jubilee was liberally covered in gore, along with a dozen or so other nearby people. They were all infected as a result.
Although the business of Jubilee as a vampire is really over the top goth fanservice, I found the idea of a vampire suicide bomber using the technique to infect a large group of random people with vampirism one of the more effective forms of vampire terrorism I could see happening in a world where such things existed. It takes the whole concept of terror to a new height, because these people aren't dead in the conventional sense. And since the conversion takes time, everyone knows what's happening to them. Plus, it's not like modern science has a cure for a magic-based infection, so as a terror tactic, it would be scarily effective.
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Jubilee as a vampire is actually kinda awesome. Well, sometimes, depending on the writer. Several of them have used it to give her a much better understanding of Wolverine, both in the healing factor and the berserk rage, and the friendship she's developed with X-23 is adorable, brilliant and terrifying.
... Still looking forward to her going back to normal, powers and all. Given this period of her life, I suspect it'll kick off with a really cliche vamp getting a small sun shoved down their throat. Sparklers of Doom.
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Quote:Sparklers of Doom.
What, Doctor Doom's involved in this, too?
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
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