Chapter Five Released

[Bob Schroeck]

Chapter Five is now available on my website.
And since this came up last time, if you have questions or objections about anything in the chapter, you might want to check the Concordance first and see if we've covered it already there.
Have at it, folks! Enjoy!

-- Bob
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The Internet Is For Norns.

[WengFook]

Well now... first up I must say thats some really NICE work there
*Some spoiler spacing*

Its nice to see Megumi's celestial situation resolved, though I think I half expected it. As nice as the idea of her gaining soldier powers was, halfway reading that section of the chapter, I suddenly didn't think it would have fit so to speak.
Doug's job was nicely worked in, I didn't quite expect him to find a job at all this story arc given the amount of time left till the bike is restored.
The resolution of Paradox's bookends though was totally out of the left field for me. I guess I got locked into thinking it was always going to one way or the other
I just know everyone is going to be focusing attention on the quarterstaff thingy in Doug's hands, so let me be among the first to say... Its a very cool idea
Finally I'd like to ask.. didja have to leave us with that cliffhanger at the end? :S_______________________________
We're definitely playing this game wrong. I thought Vampire was supposed to be a game of personal horror, not about ninja magic-carpet airstrikes at night.
- A friend after playing a session of Dark Ages Vampire.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. THERE IS ONLY WAR!
-Same friend.
_________________________________
Take Your Candle, Go Light Your World.

[Niteflier]

Very good chapter, with quite a few interesting revelations on the workings of the Divine.
One minor nitpick during Megumi's mental soliloquy after her talk with Paradox:

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*Argh! Now I'm feeling like I can't be annoyed him because of what he said, and I'm annoyed at him *because* I can't be annoyed at him.*

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Think you meant to put another 'at' in the first part of that sentence.
Other than that, a quite nice chapter!
Now where's the next one? Without a word...

[Bob Schroeck]

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Think you meant to put another 'at' in the first part of that sentence.

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Indeed I did. I caught that during a reread a couple hours ago, and a revised version of the file is already up there. Thanks!

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Now where's the next one?

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Well, we have lots of it written, we just need to outline it properly so we know where to put the extant stuff and where we have to write new.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Ebony]

Mighty fine piece of work there, guys. I was expecting that Megumi, once she went out into the streets with her new senses, to be grabbed for public intoxication, since she was doing a fair job of imitating someone on psychoactives. But that would send the story in a different direction. The tanuki were rather inspired.
I worry for poor Megumi, though, when someone decides that what the situation needs is a Celestial Song of Thunder. 'Cause, you know, those start at 11 and just go up from there.
A question for Bob: Is Doug a teatotaller? He goes out with Chris and drinks soda, and I think he abstained in DW2 as well. It makes sense, given his abilities, normal duties at home, etc., but I don't think you confirmed it one way or the other.Ebony the Black Dragon
Senior Editor, Living Room Games
http://www.lrgames.com
Ebony the Black Dragon
http://ebony14.livejournal.com

"Good night, and may the Good Lord take a Viking to you."

[zojojojo]

Megumi just didn't think this through, did she? Well, she's got a seat at the adults' table now and she can't give it up... I know (given the authors, I'm at least reasonably certain) that she'll weather the storm in one piece, but I'm looking forward to seeing just how big a wringer she's going to go through first...
In other news, is that the Lance of Longinus that Doug got a hold of? or did you decide to borrow Corwin's Stick? (see UF:SoS for details on Stick)
now I have to manage my cravings until the next chapter comes out :/-Z, Post-reader at Medium
----
If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
-Z, Post-reader at Medium
----
If architects built buildings the way programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

[Bob Schroeck]

---

s Doug a teatotaller?

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All but. He will on rare occasions drink socially -- in DW2 he drinks ouzo with Lisa and wine with Madigan -- but he limits himself to one drink, sipped over an hour or so. That's actually in the FAQ.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Bob Schroeck]

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is that the Lance of Longinus that Doug got a hold of? or did you decide to borrow Corwin's Stick?

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Neither. You'll find out everything that is known about it before the end of the story, I assure you.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[Bob Schroeck]

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didja have to leave us with that cliffhanger at the end?

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Of course. I always leave you with a cliffhanger.

-- Bob
---------
The Internet Is For Norns.

[robkelk]

Well done! Very enjoyable...
Now for a bunch of specific comments.
If I'd known you were going to use that theme for the quotes at the beginning, I would have sent you this one earlier. (But it might be more appropriate for another chapter, maybe?)
"We are mortal, both individually and as a species, and we know that we're mortal. And that makes us greater than anything in nature, and anything that Man has yet conceived. Mortality makes us superior even to the gods that we have proposed. They can't die; we can, and we do. And we know it. When we act, we know that it might be final. Nothing the gods do can't be undone; they risk nothing, but we risk everything. We have courage; the gods do not.
"Yes, we are passionate, and foolish, and violent. And courageous, and artistic, and creative. We've survived numerous close calls, some of our making, some not. We might yet destroy ourselves, or be destroyed by some natural phenomenon. Death has been our close companion and a constant reminder of our frailty for as long as we've been human. But to be disturbed by that is to be disturbed by the very idea of humanity - to suggest that we're too human. And that requires an almost inhuman blend of cowardice and ignorance."
- Thomas C Greene, 4 August 2006, in the Register article People still too human for Stephen Hawking

Comments regarding the story...

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And that wasn't the only thing she could sense -- all during his rant, the Symphony kept singing "Truth! Truth!" to her.

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Servitors get access to Choir resonances in this world? Especially that one? Wow...

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Electric guitars, brass, and some kind of woodwind -- a recorder, maybe?

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That's the biggest surprise of the chapter, for me -- Doug's part of the local Symphony. Go figure...

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I want a wardbreaker, and I want it yesterday.

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And this proves that Mara isn't a fan of the Rolling Stones...

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"I still can't believe I can take Mara out with disco music." I shook my head again, but this time with a grin. "Next time I run into her while I've got my helmet, I know exactly what I'm going to do."

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Considering what happens later in the story, I suspect what he'll do is play "Stayin' Alive"...

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You four have been enjoying yourselves for the last half-hour or so and that's more than long enough. I'm exercising big-brother privilege -- it's time for bed for all of you.

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But it's a pillow fight -- they've been in bed for the last half-hour or so.

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"So, who's on first?"

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I hate to say it, but you might need to make a Concordance entry for this one. There are actually some poor unfortunate souls who've never heard of Abbot and Costello, alas...

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On its own, one of her hands reached out and slapped the lathe's huge red emergency shut-off button as the other ripped off her the hearing protectors.
...
Belldandy laid down the knife she'd had in hand, and immediately stepped to Megumi's side. Graceful, delicate fingers gently touched her face and removed the hearing protectors.

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Minor Continuity Problem - Megumi's hearing protectors are removed twice, and her safety goggles aren't removed at all. (And "ripped off her the hearing protectors" has an extra word.) Is it too late to fix this before the whole world gets to read the story?

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Either that, or Chris's Boss was a 24-karat lunatic.

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Ia! Ia! Kami-sama ftagn!

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it's entirely possible that until the situation is resolved, the two of you are effectively immortal.

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Or it could be a minor bookkeeping task for the local deities in charge of reincarnation. The ladies might even realize this themselves, hopefully before Ami steps in front of a criminal's pistol in the possibly-mistaken belief that she can't be killed...

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jan-ken-pow

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I thought it was called "jan-ken-pon"... ("Jan-ken-pow" sounds like a Three Stooges maneuver, where the players both choose "rock" and punch the guard at the same time.)

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"Why the fnord won't you start?" he growled.

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Maybe because you haven't woken the troll who lives in the engine from his winter hibernation yet?
(This is almost canonical -- Belldandy and Urd have spoken with engine trolls in the manga on at least one occasion, but there's no hint whether they hibernate when the engine's readied for the winter.)

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"Marie! Sweetie honey BAY-bee!"

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Why am I hearing this in a mock '40s-era Bugs Bunny voice?

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They flared white for an instant, then shattered.

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Oh, shit. It's that powerful?

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Because she's doubletted,

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I know OMB doesn't follow the canon of OMG. That's the only thing that's keeping me from going into a long rant about how much fanon has grown around the Doublet System... But I have to ask: In canon, the participants' memories are wiped so they don't know that they're Doubletted, let alone who they're Doubletted to. If this also holds in OMB, how the heck does a Goddess know that a particular Demon is Doubletted?
(No, Belldandy doesn't know she's Doubletted. Urd does, but that's only because Urd accompanied Belldandy to the ceremony. Even she didn't know who Bell's Doublet was until the system sort-of broke...)

Comments regarding the Concordance...

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As noted repeatedly, Paradox shares my personal tastes, which means very "talented" -- to use a Sailor Moon dub joke -- female companionship.

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Ever visit the Being Upfront website (run by a friend of mine)?

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A wild, wild party, in fact. Name the song, kids.

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Oh, golly -- I can't imagine what the title might be... (glances at the pile of Kim Mitchell CDs I just copied to MP3s)

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Especially since people won't let me just say "Ami wins because my wife is named Amy."

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That sounds like a good enough reason to me. After all, this is a self-insert story.

-Rob Kelk
"Read Or Die: not so much a title as a way of life." - Justin Palmer, 6 June 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Kokuten]

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When they were both out of sight, I looked up at the sky. "I
suppose you're expecting me to say something pithy and insightful
now." I looked back down at the temple. "Fuck that. You're all
nuts."

---

BWUAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!

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"Except for Belldandy, of course."

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Of course!Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[Sweno]

Thanks once again to Bob and Chris for bringing this bounteous amount of Cool to us.
More intelligent comments to follow after I have read through this a time 2nd or 3rd time and can wrap my head around it.
Cliffhangers only invite cries for more. So...
MOAR (whenever it is deemed ready).-Terry
------
"Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." - Antoine de Saint Exupery
"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." - Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)
Mary Sue's theme music
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

[Balentius]

I have to agree - a very pleasurable story, with a horrible cliffhanger...
"In canon, the participants' memories are wiped so they don't know that they're Doubletted, let alone who they're Doubletted to. "
My recollection is that they don't know who they are linked to, but when a celestial is close to death, the celestials "in the area" suddenly remember the system, to stop anyone from dying.

[Foxboy]

Much loved-ness here.
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[jpub]

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Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And that wasn't the only thing she could sense -- all during his rant, the Symphony kept singing "Truth! Truth!" to her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Servitors get access to Choir resonances in this world? Especially that one? Wow...

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Actually, that's more an effect of Paradox's presence in the Symphony, and his agitation.

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Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it's entirely possible that until the situation is resolved, the two of you are effectively immortal.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Or it could be a minor bookkeeping task for the local deities in charge of reincarnation. The ladies might even realize this themselves, hopefully before Ami steps in front of a criminal's pistol in the possibly-mistaken belief that she can't be killed...

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More likely, Kami-sama would get irritated with them pissing around and would take steps. Probably ones involving individuals Paradox really doesn't want helping him with his romantic life, TYVM.

---

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Because she's doubletted,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know OMB doesn't follow the canon of OMG. That's the only thing that's keeping me from going into a long rant about how much fanon has grown around the Doublet System... But I have to ask: In canon, the participants' memories are wiped so they don't know that they're Doubletted, let alone who they're Doubletted to. If this also holds in OMB, how the heck does a Goddess know that a particular Demon is Doubletted?
(No, Belldandy doesn't know she's Doubletted. Urd does, but that's only because Urd accompanied Belldandy to the ceremony. Even she didn't know who Bell's Doublet was until the system sort-of broke...)

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I actually took it like this: No God/Demon knows whether any individual is doubletted or not - so they assume they *all* are.
--
Christopher Angel, aka JPublic
The Works of Christopher Angel
"Camaraderie, adventure, and steel on steel. The stuff of legend! Right, Boo?"

[HoagieOfDoom]

Way cool guys. Always a pleasure to read. 'Course, you had to go ahead give us that big nasty cliffhanger, huh?
Now then, mister quarterstaff, what might you be, hmmm?*********
Touched By His Noodly Appendage
www.venganza.org

[ordnance11]

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Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Because she's doubletted,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know OMB doesn't follow the canon of OMG. That's the only thing that's keeping me from going into a long rant about how much fanon has grown around the Doublet System... But I have to ask: In canon, the participants' memories are wiped so they don't know that they're Doubletted, let alone who they're Doubletted to. If this also holds in OMB, how the heck does a Goddess know that a particular Demon is Doubletted?
(No, Belldandy doesn't know she's Doubletted. Urd does, but that's only because Urd accompanied Belldandy to the ceremony. Even she didn't know who Bell's Doublet was until the system sort-of broke...)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I actually took it like this: No God/Demon knows whether any individual is doubletted or not - so they assume they *all* are.

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If you look at it from the Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) POV, it makes sense. If some of you are doubletted, but you don't know who, then you'll have to assume that all of you are possible candidates. Because the only way to know for sure is by process of elimination
__________________
Into terror!,  Into valour!
Charge ahead! No! Never turn
Yes, it's into the fire we fly
And the devil will burn!
- Scarlett Pimpernell

[Kokuten]

hey, there's a nice plotbunny for an OMB or OMG 'fic..
Crazy nutjob whacking demons, ignoring Doublett system, causing all sorts of fun times.
Edit: And, of course, Bell is one of the 'good guys' taken out by the Doublett, and Paradox loses his nut and turns the world backwards or some such, probably tells Kami to stuff his laws of physics.. Great High Dudgeon potential there!Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[NomadEngineer]

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Oh, shit. It's that powerful?

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It may also be that the wards are intended to keep things *out* not *in*.

[zero sum mgame]

Fabulous.
I'll just note a few high points.
If that's what Symphonic Awareness is like, I -want- it. Not enough to swear service to -Skuld-, though.
Chris and Doug's debate. Well played on both their parts and yours. I assume that you two are happy with it, or we wouldn't have seen it. It looks really good from the outside, too.
The closing battle scene. Another reminder of what I constantly forget. Doug is -terrifying- when angered.
The staff. My first thought was Gungnir, though what that would be doing in Urd's junk drawer, I'm sure I don't want to know. My second thought was "Can't be. He's still alive." -Very- much looking forward to seeing that play out.
One minor kvetch. Every copy I can find of the lyrics to "Closer to Fine" uses 'definitive', not 'divinity'. I'm not sure if this is another case of lyrics being different in the story than they are in real life, if this is an intentional tweak on your part, or if it's a mistake, but I thought I'd point it out.
Thank you both for the effort you've put into this.
-j

[Bluemage]

Maybe not Skuld, but _Belldandy_, that's another story!
(Really could anyone ask for a nicer boss?)

Y'know, for somebody who visits the forum everyday, still has a Stagger idea bouncing around in his head (which I find I don't have enough pop-culture reference to write Doug into, much to my chagrin), and loves DW to absolute literary pieces, it's a little odd that I didn't even notice the countdown this time. This one caught me by surprise at ~11:00 at night, on my last net-run before bed.
I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night.
That... was absolutely fantastic!--------------------
I'll snap your neck like a tomato!

---

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Brother Atom Bomb of Courteous Debate. Get yours.

I've been writing a bit.

[robkelk]

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I actually took it like this: No God/Demon knows whether any individual is doubletted or not - so they assume they *all* are.

---

Sounds good to me, and handwaves away a heck of a lot of fanon at the same time.
Thanks for the quick reply on the answers! I wasn't expecting anything over the weekend...

-Rob Kelk
"Read Or Die: not so much a title as a way of life." - Justin Palmer, 6 June 2007
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[DHBirr]

One distressing thing that occurs to me concerning this aspect of the Doublet system:
Since Bell invokes it as a reason for Doug not to kill Mara, it evidently will activate -- or at least, the gods believe it will activate -- no matter how a god or demon dies.
But this means that any time a human gets his/her hands on enough power to off a demon -- and attempts to use it -- no matter how righteous the grievance against the demon may be, any gods in the vicinity will pile on the human to stop him/her. Unless those gods use mindwipe a lot, that means there'll be a (slowly) growing pool of humans -- the most magically powerful humans, too -- who've seen gods siding with demons, and therefore regard gods as just as much enemies of humanity as demons are.
And if the gods are enemies of humanity, then their Soldiers and Servitors -- and ordinary clergy, too -- are traitors in the service of a hostile power. How will the gods react when a coalition of mages starts hunting down and killing Servitors for their treason against the human species?
-----
Big Brother is watching you.  And damn, you are so bloody BORING.

[jpub]

What makes you think that mortals ever even get a chance to off a demon in the OMB universe?
Doug is *ludicrously* powerful as compared to the average mortal in that universe. Hell, even compared to the exceptional mortal.

If he was there to stay, there'd probably be a lot of work done to *recruit* Doug to keep him out of the mortal realm.--
Christopher Angel, aka JPublic
The Works of Christopher Angel
"Camaraderie, adventure, and steel on steel. The stuff of legend! Right, Boo?"

[Morganite]

So, I decided to reread the previous parts... In DW5-3, "katakan", I think you probably mean katakana, and in one place in 5-5, Skuld says "Solder" instead of "soldier".
On to actual comments.
So I was thinking about Megumi, whose decision I seem to find a lot more understandable than most people. And was looking at this part in the concordance...

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When a mortal becomes a Soldier, he is usually given at least one Force by the Celestial to whom he has sworn, which brings with it at the very least the ability to perceive the Symphony -- the In Nomine term for the "sound" of the Cosmic All -- in addition to whatever ability boost it provides.

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And Skuld very pointedly would not make Megumi a soldier... but Megumi seems to have gotten this bit anyway. (Presumably a corporeal force, given later events.)
And on thinking about it some more... Well, I've only had one relatively cursory read through the IN rules, but it seems like "servitor" in this story is pretty much equivalent to "soldier" in the game. With "soldier" in the story being something with no direct counterpart. Or at least it didn't sound to me like soldiers in IN lost their free will to the degree that everyone is so upset about.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not *complaining* about things being different... I just want to be sure I understand where things are going.
On a less serious note, while at work tonight I was seized by an irrational desire to refer to... whatever that thing is Doug's using... as the "thwack'em stick". (It's too effective to be the "stick of pain".) As I'm in the habit of giving in to my irrational desires... hopefully it'll get a real name at some point, or I might end up using this one again. ^_-
There was something I was going to say about the Ami and Rachel situation, but it's late and I don't feel like the poking around it'd take to find the quote involved tonight, so I'm putting this note in to remind me of it later.
I kind of wonder what this fanon about the Doublet System is like. Nothing I've heard about it makes it sound like a very good idea. I like the UF system a lot better, where you don't attack people on the other side because it would make *your* boss mad. It certainly scales better."Mikuru-chan molested me! I'm... so happy!"
-Haruhi, "The Ecchi of Haruhi Suzumiya"
---(Not really)