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Things in the magical curio shop
Things in the magical curio shop
#1
You know the kind, that little shop you never noticed before and probably won't be able to find if you try to go back later, filled with strange and interesting objects that may or may not actually be magical, but are definitely unusual. As we run an honest shop here actual cursed items are only stocked by rare accident, and there is a strict "no souls - no slaves - no refunds" sales policy.

Here's a few things I spotted:

* A set of throwing knives in a forearm sheath. A card taped onto it reads "Caution - shadow snap."
* A display of delicate glass vials with various colored liquid inside, labeled with different types of animals as well as fantastic intelligent species like elves and wookies.
* A big jar of gumballs, some solid colors, some mottled or swirled, some glowing, and some even looking like miniature snow-globes or galaxies inside a clear shell.
* A rack of seed packets. Some are recognizable flowers or garden vegetables, others are unfamiliar. There are a few potted tree shoots lined up along the top as well.
* A set of drafting tools, complete with triangles and curves, compass and dividers, a selection of pencils and pens, several colors of ink, a tube of rolled high-quality vellum, and a poster-size portable drawing board with straight edge on cables and small fold-out legs to give it a comfortable tilt when placed on a flat table. The smaller items are displayed in a carrying case with the top open.
* A rack of clothing in styles ranging across a wide swath of cultures and eras. They're sturdy enough for daily use, even if some are too ornamental looking to be anything but fancy dress party or convention costumes.
* A hiker's pack with a lantern, bed roll, and an entrenching tool tied in place.
* A spinner rack of paperback books, mostly fantasy and science fiction with some thrillers and romance novels. There's also at least one cookbook and a guide to Getting Started With Python.
* A slim leather portfolio of maps, some new, some old, some hand-drawn, some scribbled on napkins.
* A headband with cat ears, and a tail with loops on one end to attach it to a belt.
* A display of model kits, mixed between cars, planes, mecha, and space ships, with a few surface ships as well. Other supplies for assembling them are nearby, including less common things like light kits and electronics to provide sound effects or motion, and very-small-scale figures to depict crewmen.
* A modern sewing machine with settings for various sizes and patterns of stitches mated to the treadle and stand of one from the early industrial era.
* A pocket-size journal bound in well-worn leather. A flip through the pages reveals what appear to be hand-written poetry, song lyrics (distinguishable by notations for parts like "chorus" and "coda,") and folk tales.
* A tall, rotating rack with eyewear. Reading glasses, sunglasses, X-Ray Specs, costume glasses, work and sport goggles, even monocles and bubble pack cards with various sorts of contact lenses.
* A pegboard covered in hand tools, most of an older style rather than bright chrome and plastic, some very peculiar looking and unfamiliar. Despite this, some of them have glowing indicators or displays.
* A rack of 8-Track tape cartridges, featuring music from the 1960s to 80s.
* A collection of globes and astrolabes. None appear to depict Earth or its sky.
* A Kamen Rider belt, show quality rather than a child-size toy.
* A discount bin of movies and video games, many in foreign languages. Some were highly popular once, but anything recent is on the obscure side.
* A full-size recreation of the Wheel of Morality from the Animaniacs TV show.
* A jar of various keys, ranging from preindustrial skeleton keys to modern swipe cards and wireless fobs. A few larger ones are laid on the counter nearby, and a handful the size of canes or staves lean against it.
* A collection of empty tins, boxes, and jars, in various shapes and styles. Some are obviously new, others bear the wear and stains of time.
* A comfortable, highly adjustable seat like you might expect to find in some kind of high-performance vehicle. It's not quite new, but in good condition.
* An assortment of buttons with adhesive backing, as in switches, not the kind you pin to your clothes. They're labeled with things like "Any," "Help," "Let Junior Do It," "Launch," "Fire," "Water," "You Can Die Now," "Capsule," and so on. Some are in unfamiliar languages.
* A ring with an enameled taijitu ☯ surrounded by dozens of small inset gems. Oddly, the face appears to be designed to spin around, though it requires a bit of force to move and seems to have catches at each half-turn.
* Several sealed, transparent buckets labeled "Slime!" in a font that suggests the Nickelodeon product without actually using any trademarks. Each holds easily two gallons or more, and come in different colors.
* A set of four automobile tires, stacked in a corner. They look brand new.
* A large crate which claims to contain a light aircraft kit. It is nailed shut.
* A collection of small ceramic animal figurines. They are amazingly lifelike.
* A tall wire basket with a dozen umbrellas, a flag like you'd find marking the holes on a golf course, and at least one sheathed sword.
* A necklace with a thumb-sized scarab beetle pendant.
* A collection of small metal reproductions of various landmarks. Many are unfamiliar.
* A pocket watch with the hour and minute hands designed like the sides of a pair of scissors and a sewing needle for the second hand.
* Waxed paper packets of some kind of candied fruit. The label appears to be in Greek.
* A small wooden chest with dozens of mixed drum sticks, orchestra batons, and stage magician and magical princess style wands inside.

What did you see?
--
‎noli esse culus
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#2
* One of the umbrellas in the stand has a parrot-head handle.
* Next to the chest of sticks and wands, a hockey stick leans against the wall.
* A cabinet of 6x6 cubbyholes on tall legs. The cubbies are filled with all manner of papers, from scrolls and scroll cases to wax-sealed packets tied with silk ribbons to string-tied bundles of foolscap to stapled or paperclipped piles of typewritten pages to modern business envelopes. One cubbyhole appears to be entirely filled with brown envelopes with Ed MacMahon's picture and "You May Already Be A Winner" on them. Another has sheets of transparent plastic with the corners cut off, covered with writing.
* Massive 1950s-vintage console-style TV set, as much furniture as electronics, with a portable B&W TV (circa 1978) and a huge modern flatscreen sitting on top of it.
* A basket full of cell phones, ranging from bricks with antennas on them to little adhesive things that might stick easily to your shirt or the back of your hand, with most of the basket taken up by one variety of smartphone/hand computer or another.
-- Bob

I have been Roland, Beowulf, Achilles, Gilgamesh, Clark Kent, Mary Sue, DJ Croft, Skysaber.  I have been 
called a hundred names and will be called a thousand more before the sun grows dim and cold....
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#3
* A bookshelf with most of the shelves filled with RPG books from a wide variety of systems and editions. The top shelf holds a set of plastic bins containing various dice and gaming accessories.
* a set of racking with packs from a number of collectable card games and miniatures.
* Another spinner rack of books, this one holds quite a few 'Choose-your-own-adventure' style books, some mystery novels, and a smattering of various other books, including one titled 'How to survive the Zombie Apocalypse', and another called 'Real Life Ghost Stories'
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#4
What I saw was the other sign next to the register...
"Remember to exit by the door you entered"
Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to rock the sky?
Thats' every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry!
NO QUARTER!

No Quarter by Echo's Children
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#5
* A box of computer parts and small peripherals, none of which are less than a decade old and all of which are in the original packaging.
* In amongst the ceramic animals that classicdrogn mentioned are some animals that are wearing clothes and drinking tea; Beatrix Potter stories come to mind when looking at them. Also amongst those figurines are some glass animals - a glass horse has a bit of a bump on its forehead, but is otherwise ordinary.
* A perfectly ordinary LongPen.
* A glass-fronted case holding a selection of jewelry. Most of it is paste or otherwise costume, but a few pieces appear to be inexpensive metal with semiprecious stones. One shelf holds a selection of watches, including a few pocket watches and digital watches.
* A brass telescope of the sort used by Royal Navy officers at the turn of the 19th century. Looking through it shows a split image that can be lined up by twisting a knob on the telescope.
--
Rob Kelk

Sticks and stones can break your bones,
But words can break your heart.
- unknown
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#6
* A Mr. Fusion, sans Delorean.
* Something that looks like a pink skateboard with round copper plates on the bottom
* A simple gold tiara with a smooth red gem set in the middle.  It is accompanied by a sign that reads "Please do not throw inside the store!"
* A Nintendo Power Glove.
* A pack of Yu-Gi-Oh playing cards.  They look like they've seen some real adventures.
* A basic pokeball - the tag notes that it is unoccupied, and that its original occupant never had much use for it.
* A weathered, worn out, wide brimmed hat, riddled with bullet holes.
* An ancient looking music box with a statue of a beautiful woman - the statue appears to have broken at some point in time.  The music still functions despite its apparent age.  The song it plays is lovely, but incredibly haunting.
* A large metal device that seems like it's meant to be worn as a backpack.  It has a round protrusion at the bottom.  It has a heavy set of cables that connect to a strange heavy rifle-like device.  A note states that this item will only be sold to someone that can produce a doctorate degree in nuclear energy signed by a reputable professor.
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#7
* A complete set of the Neustria Cycle books by Leslie Barringer, all eight books from Gerfalcon (1927) to The Witch's Talisman (1951).
* A used ticket for RMS Titanic's final voyage back to Britain in 1934, before the ship went to the breaker's yard. Captain Lightoller autographed the ticket.  
* A lava lamp, plugged in and operating. The flowing wax is iridescent crimson.
* A box full of loose-leaf binders, with color-coded markings on many of the pages. The binder covers are marked with such titles as "Terran Federation," "System States War," and "First Galactic Empire." There is also a star map. 
* The score of Mozart's Requiem ... completed. Autographed by the composer, "für Geoff mit herzliche Grüße."

-----
Up, lad, up!  We've villages to pillage, maidens to slay, and dragons to rescue!
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#8
For the benefit of anyone else who might like to use these, I'll note that there's more additions in the SV version of the thread. Sadly, the SB edition seems to have vanished into the Index without a ripple, despite the bigger user base.

https://forums.sufficientvelocity.com/posts/12131077/
--
‎noli esse culus
Reply
RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#9
* A Nintendo/Sony SNES CD Addon
* A scythe that transforms into a high impact sniper rifle
* A tin whistle. The tag on the string says 'Chocobo Whistle'
* An enchanted diary that replies to anything you write in in. The sticker on it assures it is an ethically enchanted diary, and does not possess the writer for evil.
* Bottled water.
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#10
* Next to the autographed ticket for the RMS Titanic's final voyage, there is a front page from the New York Times with a screaming headline: "TITANIC STRIKES ICEBERG HEAD-ON, SAFELY ARRIVED!"  The clipping notes that while the captain is being relieved by White Star, he is stepping down gracefully, admitting his error of allowing himself to be persuaded to enter the dangerous waters at such a speed.  He is, however, praised for his decision to take the impact head on as the ship's architect noted that if he hadn't, he'd have run the risk of rupturing all the watertight compartments on the port side, which would have sunk the unsinkable ship for certain!
* An additional clipping praises the captain, crew, and even the passengers of the RMS Carpathia for their galiant response, coming to the aid of the stricken Titanic even though casualties were few and the ship was unlikely to sink - and this despite the fact that the two ships are of rival lines; a testament to the indomitable spirit of mankind.
* One final clipping notes the sudden disappearance of one of the ship's passengers after it had arrived in port: one Rose DeWitt Bukater, last seen with one Jack Dawson.  Rather than being taken seriously, the tone of the clipping is rather tongue-in-cheek, particularly the quote from Molly Brown: "Serves that old harpy right for trying to force a marriage like that on the poor girl!  I hope she and that boy live a long and happy life together."
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#11
* A pocket size guide to English As She Is Spoke.
* A life-sized, feminine robotic body finished in bright chrome. Though missing the head and neck area, it appears to be unfinished rather than damaged.
* A selection of large, cut and polished semiprecious stones, with intricate designs somehow embedded into them. They are packed into retail boxes labelled like computer components, but the language is unfamiliar.
* A crate labelled "Little Eureka Pole Stretcher." It shakes and growls like a very angry big cat is trying to get out.
* A gallon size, dome-topped trash can painted to look like R2-D2, along with a few more in other colour combinations.
* A small, indistinct carving of a robed humanoid, which appears to be a kanji stamp when the base is examined. It has an ominous feeling, yet somehow makes you feel powerful simply by holding it.
* Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo, by W. Baruffio. It's in the rack of fantasy books due to the magical tone of the writing, but mainly contains tongue twisters and pronunciation exercises.
* A case of 307 Ale, bearing customs stamps from Argo and Space Station Three.
* An apparently empty shelf with a card announcing that post holes are 10% off.
* A alto saxophone with a worn and battered carrying case. The instrument itself is in excellent condition.
* A single bottle of 1944 Goût de la liberté. It is inside a thick, locked display case with its own built-in environmental controls. No price is listed.
* A collection of black and white bucket helmets made out of some kind of plastic. They are only offered as a set, together with a pair of drumsticks that have leather padded striking ends.
* A bin of Sunnydale Thrillin' Grillin' cooking tools. The barbecue forks look particularly sharp.
* A cardboard box containing several WWII-style gas masks and a supply of filter cartridges. They appear to be freshly manufactured.
* A box of small paper packets labelled "Instant water."
* A mannequin wearing a brightly polished set of lorica segmentata armor with matching scutum, manica, and greaves. The helmet is of a much older Greek style with a horsehair crest, however, and the displayed weapon is an even more ancient Naue II pattern sword. The padded leather and cloth items that would be worn under such equipment to prevent chafing are not in evidence.
* A chimneysweep's brush, with several additional threaded segements that can be attached to extend the handle.
* A horn as long as a tall man, which must gave been harvested from a truly colossal animal. It has a mouthpiece at the small end, and is engraved with images of dragons in flight.
* A wooden butt (barrel) with "Watney's" burned into the side. It is stained red.
* A small terrarium containing an albino tarantula.
* A set of climbing gear, including body harness, hammer and pitons, carabiners and ascender, two long coils of rope, and clawed overshoes.
* An upright cabinet containing several bolts of volute patterned fabric.
* A caulk gun with a pair of bundled cartridges. One is labeled "Instant Hole" and the other "Instant Hole Patch."
* A collection of authentic looking lightsaber hilts. A card notes that batteries are not included.
* An insulated pizza delivery bag, with a kabuki-ninja logo and text that proudly proclaims "Delivered anywhere in 20 minutes or less!"
* A sundial with an intricate spring-powered system of gears in the base to ensure it is adjusted to tell the correct time every day of the year.
* An orb that fits comfortably in your hand, covered in opalescent enamel. Holding it gives you an electrifying energetic feeling.
* A cabinet full of framed posters. Most are of various movie or comic book characters, interspersed with a sprinkling of mages, dragons, and cubist, art nouveau, or art deco prints.
--
‎noli esse culus
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#12
* A locked and climate-controlled shelf in the middle of the 'rare books' section contains a set of rather battered, ancient volumes, all of them clearly hand-crafted and bound, gold-foil stamps wearing away from the titles. In the middle is a hand-illustrated bible laid open - on the left is the last page of the Gospel of John, the page on the right is clearly written in Japanese and entitled 'The Gospel of ____' - the name is mostly worn away, but the first kanji in it appears to be the character for 'Truth'.
Sucrose Octanitrate.

Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#13
* A perfectly ordinary looking steamer trunk labeled "Traveling Luggage". Oddly enough, it is roped off and the sign also warns, quite strenuously, not to touch or otherwise molest it as it is quite aggressive.
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RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#14
* Inside the ropes cordoning off the Travelling Luggage as if snuggled up to its side is another potted tree sprout, which appears to have a face on its trunk. You could swear it changes position when you aren't looking.
--
‎noli esse culus
Reply
RE: Things in the magical curio shop
#15
* An old Soviet camera from 1978. It takes photographs of the future - but not our future
* A new Soviet ternary camera from 2013. It takes photographs of the past - but not our past.
* A Claymore with the words ''Please wait here" written on the front of it.
* A Cavan man's gold
* A new-in-box Toynbee tile.
* The enumerated contents of dev/null
* The first cour of a two-cours ybernpunk anime sproduced in an alternate universe's 1987, detailing an future where Donal Trump is president of the Unit States, the whole world is being destroyed by omniscient social networks, the environment is coillapsing and a group of young hackers rebell..... it ends on a WW3 cliffhanger.
*
* A printout of this webpage, with prices listed beside each item.

I love the smell of rotaries in the morning. You know one time, I got to work early, before the rush hour. I walked through the empty carpark, I didn't see one bloody Prius or Golf. And that smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole carpark, smelled like.... ....speed.

One day they're going to ban them.
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