New Teaser For Chapter 1

[Logan Darklighter]

It's early afternoon. Which means that, since I work nights, this is like staying up till 3 in the morning for me. Not a good idea. But DAMN it all, this is too good to pass up.
BTW - I'm going to have to ask if I can be on your pre-reader list Bob. I feel the need to contribute. How does one do that?
Anyway...

---

There was a swish of wind, and my reflexes took over. A moment later, I found myself holding the shaft of something that looked like a croquet mallet by way of Star Trek. Its head was mere centimeters from mine, and Skuld throttled its handle in a double-fisted deathgrip. "We didn't *Fall*!" she shouted as she tried to free her weapon from my grasp. "No one Fell!"

---

In the In Nomine Anime Supplement, they suggested that Skuld would translate quite nicely as a young Malakim of Lightning. That's what the above exchange reminded me of. ^_^
More seriously, though, I want elaboration on this. It seems to me that the goddesses are still goddesses and not angels or demoted somehow. The above seems to indicate that they weren't pushed into their positions so much as co-opted by agreement. I'm not sure I'm getting across what I'm exactly intending to say here. It's almost like she's about to say, "We chose to do this. It wasn't forced on us!"

---

When I got done yelping and jumping around, I relieved the kid of her hammer

---

Can he do that? I don't recall offhandedly anyone grabbing Skuld's hammer away from her. Then again, I don't think I've even seen anyone try to do it at all.

---

Okay, now those who know me and the Warriors will say, "Hey, you never had a problem with Hexe dating men." Well, for all that Hexe is bossy, dominant, pushy *and* an avatar, she is also one of the most *human* beings I have ever known. When I see her with a guy, I don't see a monstrous, alien creature of immense power manipulating some poor schlmazel for its own amusement. I see a woman with a guy. Say what you will about her abrasive and
overbearing personality, Hexe is a woman first, and a deity
second. And in my experience, that was *unique*. I had no
reason to believe Verdandi's relationship with Keiichi Morisato
was anything but a sadistic and/or exploitative dalliance for
her.

---

I think this is one of those times when Doug starts out with the wrong idea. He doesn't have all the facts, and doesn't know Belldandy. Or he wouldn't be thinking along those lines. This is good, because once again, it inverts a typical self-insert paradigm that the insert character always has superior insight into the emotions of the canon characters. Once he gets to know her and figures things out, I imagine he'll change his tune. But not completely. Just a guess, but I see a good possibility that he'll still be worried about Belldandy's motivations, even if he knows she is sincere. More of a "Do you really know what you're letting yourself - and him - in for?"

---

The door burst open, and Megumi stormed back into the room, dragging her brother behind her. "Where's this Marller character?" she roared, and all three goddesses jumped, then as one turned to look at her. "Turn *me* into a car, will she? Possess *my* body, will she? When I get my hands on her, she'll be one dead..." She jabbed a finger at Urd. "You! How could you let me think that was just a *dream*, that it was my imagination? Do you *know* what it's done to my self-image?" She whirled on Skuld, who eeped. "And *you*, you're just as bad. You can't believe what it felt like to think I was crazy because of all the strange crap that goes on around here because of you!"

---

I've been waiting in vain for something like this to happen in the actual series. ^_^
Don't get me wrong, I love Fujishima's stuff. But it's gotten kind of static of late. I think he needs to take some chances with the story. This is exactly the sort of thing I'd like him to do. And it's spot on in character. Well done!

---

"Why aren't you yelling at Belldandy?" Urd muttered, but Megumi evidently heard her.
The mortal girl suddenly dropped completely out of rage and into utter embarrassment. "I couldn't!" she replied, doing some odd, rhythmic twiddling thing with the tips of her forefingers. "She's so nice, I'd just feel so *guilty* afterwards."
I hazarded a glance at the divinity in question, who simply
smiled a beatific smile. Uh-huh.

---

Belldandy, like Kasumi, is the mistress of Nice-fu. ^_^
Anyway. More detailed comments later perhaps. Man I need to get some sleep...
-Logan
----------
Legolas - Obviously an Elvish word meaning "Gatling Gun".
----------