Stupid dialog, free to a good home

[DHBirr]

"Your first error, or at least the first I detected, was the choice of spy you sent to investigate me.  When someone that beautiful tries to scrape acquaintance with me, I naturally feel suspicious."

[A bit later in the same conversation]:  "My most appealing quality is that I recognize I don't have any appealing qualities."

[And]:  "If I had good looks, charm, panache, and/or lots of money, I would be quite a bit less distrustful of gorgeous women coming on to me.  Also, it'd happen far more often."

Edit to add, unrelated to the above:  "We must execute this miscreant in the traditional way," [Y] said.  "Tie him to a python and set him on fire!"
[X] groaned and facepalmed.  Even at a moment like this, he thought despairingly, [Y] just has to make puns....