ROTFL - Rise From the Dead

[Shepherd]

Chapter 18 of "Naruto, I Just Want You to Know, This is Entirely Your Fault." The entire chapter. It just gets funnier and funnier with each new paragraph of Konoha's council being forced to sit through a meeting with a representative of the daimyo.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/507717.../129785116

A few highlights:

Minato’s eyes flitted around the room covertly - everyone had completely zoned out, with the exception of Inoichi, who’s face had fallen into an expression of fascinated horror - good, that meant he saw this for what it was too. Minato bet’s Inoichi never expected to be beaten so soundly in the art of subtle torture unintentionally by a civilian noble with absolutly no training to speak of.

Minato’s gaze shifted to Inoichi’s left, falling on Shikaku. Shikaku is sat ramrod straight in his chair, eyes focused on Suzuki. If someone were to enter the room at that moment, Shikaku would appear to be the most attentive of anyone in attendance. Having known Shikaku for as long as he has, Minato knows with absolute certainty that Shikaku is actually just sleeping with his eyes open.

Tsume was the first to go, though he’s not clear on when exactly it was aside from ‘early’.

He takes comfort in knowing that she didn’t suffer. There’s a reason they give ANBU suicide capsules - not everyone can handle torture, and this was just another case of that. Tsume knew her limits and understood there was no point in suffering needlessly in a battle she had no hope of winning.