Russian lawmakers authorize Putin to use military force outside the country

[Labster]

BA-kun, China will trade with anyone. But trade implies an exchange of things of value, and right now, China is the only side with anything of value. China's not going to give jets to the poor neighbors according to their need -- a communist country need some serious dough to run.

-- Russia is hot to trotsky over biological and chemical weapons, and is calling an emergency session of UNSC on US secret weapon stashes in Ukraine
-- China goes, "Oh yeah, maybe there was a lab leak over there? Definitely not here. Look at US labs in Ukraine."
-- US spokesman at UN who said Russia is "gaslighting the world" is nominated for best black comedy pun performance by a government official
-- But even Russian allies like China can't say it with a straight face, and are sticking to talking points that embarrass the Americans just enough.
-- China secretly embarrassed about drunken behavior of Russia, but agreed to be designated driver beforehand so doesn't want to get stuck in the car with an angry drunk later tonight. "Of course bro, Poland definitely looked at you weird." <rolls eyes>
-- US Congress thinks about maybe possibly revoking Russia's status as Most Favored Nation.
-- War serious enough to make US Congress pass a budget and not shut down the government
-- Sanctions on Chelsea FC are just freaking weird.
-- I wish we could also sanction the Oakland Raiders.
-- Or actually, just sanction Raiders fans. The team itself is fine.
-- Racist numbnuts in Canada's Montreal Symphony Orchestra cancel performance of anti-war Russian pianist
-- Global display of passive-aggression in renaming the streets alongside Russian embassies something pro-Ukrainian
-- Historical aside: Americans complained that their embassy was located at Place de Bitche, so the French government renamed it Place des États-Unis
-- North Koreans at a loss as to how to regain their rightful crown as world's worst country. Maybe ban laughter? Damn, they did that back in December, and how does that even compete with bombing a children's hospital?
-- All video game console companies have left Russia. Nepu!
-- Clouds have cleared over Ukraine. Satellite imagery shows lots of buildings now missing, replaced with piles of rubble and ashes.
-- The Mega Convoy is now missing. If you find it, please call 1-800-BAYRAKTAR
-- WNBA player Brittney Griner still in Russia on suspected possession of cannabis. What a American lesbian was doing in Russia on the eve of an invasion is beyond me.
-- Kazakh airline Air Astana has stopped flying to Russia, because it can't get insurance for the flights.
-- These aren't sanctions, people just don't want to do business in Russia. Seriously, the chance they just fucking steal the plane is probably over 5%, and how do you insure that? Expensively, or not at all.
-- Alexei Navalny called for mass protest on Sunday. I'm scared for them.
-- 2.5 million refugees so far.
-- Versailles summit gets quick agreement that EU will double Ukraine military aid, now a billion euros
-- But no EU Candidate status for Ukraine... yet.