Russian lawmakers authorize Putin to use military force outside the country

[Labster]

-- Biden says "For God's sake, this man cannot remain in power!"
-- Everyone begins twittering about change in foreign policy
-- US State Dept says there is no change, our President says stuff sometimes
-- Garry Kasparov basically calls Biden a pussy, says he got it right the first time
-- When they did this to Trump, he yelled and screamed "deep state!"  Biden realizes he is a grandpa who makes mistakes sometimes.
-- Russians freak out of course but then they've been talking about The Bomb a lot lately so I feel like they owe us one.
-- Russians capture Slavutych, currently the closest city to Chernobyl.  Troops treated as occupiers, greeted with a massive protest.
-- Russians catch and release mayor of Slavutych.  Then they demand townsfolk surrender all of their arms to the mayor (except hunting rifles, ofc)... and leave.
-- Strategic retreat to reinforce elsewhere, or Russian army genuinely surprised they weren't greeted as liberators?  you decide.
-- Possibly just that they realized that occupying a hostile city is hard.
-- Lviv music festival interrupted by missiles
-- Kharkiv music festival held in subway/shelter, not interrupted by the explosions
-- Russia saving the expensive, accurate missiles for Lviv so they don't accidentally Poland
-- Giant holocaust memorial mehorah outside of Kharkiv loses a branch during Russian shelling to stop Nazis
-- Poltavka and Malynivka villages liberated by Ukraine
-- Mariupol still not under Russian control (inset map, tweet with full maps)
-- Derussification of Ukraine accelerates thanks to explosions everywhere.
-- Unification of NATO accelerates thanks to explosions.
-- Truly, this whole thing blew up in Putin's face and in Ukrainian civilians' homes
-- Dubai wants everyone's money
-- UK "Homes for Ukraine" programme called "Tinder for sex traffickers".  They sure like excuses for not letting people immigrate there.