Simulacrum: Jewish grandma (Oi! It's so Humid! by 2 Live Jews)

[classicdrogn]

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Effect: Summons a simlacrum of an elderly but relatively spry woman named Myrtle, with all the powers and abilities of an iconic Jewish Grandma (baking and cooking, gossip gathering, cheek-pinching, guilt trips, etc.) plus an effect that fills Doug's AoE with cool air for the duration. Somehow, despite only being a two minute song and seeming to move at grandma speed, she is able to complete any single kitchen task, gossip session, or a guilt trip lecture that feels like it lasts for hours within the duration, though as long as you're on her good side she's quite the sweetheart and all you have to fear is a broken diet and perhaps a few pointed questions about your romantic status.