I've harvested what I think may be all of the older NanoSteps from the threads in this forum, save for The Melancholy of Douglas Sangnoir and others that are too long to be proper NanoSteps. Links to the original threads are embedded in the writers' credits.
The Loon is having a very very very bad day.
This isn't a good place to be if you're an out-of-towner. It's not even good for the -natives-, but if they knew Doug's true nature... well, they'd probably misinterpret it, but even if not he'd be in horrible danger.
Then again, he's in horrible danger NOW.
With extremely careful use of Lightning's Hand, he's managed to forge a local identity--not high enough social status to draw attention, but not low enough to be casually killed. He hopes. Further use of LH is not a good idea--with the (literally) insane tech level, it'd get noticed. It may have BEEN noticed.
It can't last. Sooner or later, someone will catch on and THEY will be after him. Who's THEY? Who isn't?
And it's such a damned hideous world, too. Danger is everywhere, everyone is afraid of everyone else, and disregard for human life isn't just standard--it's practically mandatory. Many things are mandatory around here, but that one sticks out.
And the worst part--the absolute ultimate WORST part--
--Doug's pretty sure that if he saw this world from Outside, as a movie or a game or something, he'd be laughing his ass off. But from down here in the corridors, it isn't funny at all.
Someone's probably laughing at him right now...
He's got to find a gate song fast, before this place gets under his skin and never -ever- leaves.
Because Citizen Loon-Y-TNS-6 is developing a classic case of... PARANOIA.
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/topic/3116](by Evil Midnight Lurker)
Dorothy narrowed her optics in the expression that her interaction subroutine suggested for annoyance. "You are a nutbar, Douglas Sangnoir."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... ing?page=2](by Foxboy)
Doug shook his head as the disorientation of gate travel started to fade. Then he looked at the object his bike had crashed into. It was large, blocky, and metallic, and shaped rather vaguely like a ... foot?
He paused, looked up, and then looked up... taking in the vaguely vulture-like hunched shape of the thing, the heavy cannon resting over its shoulder, and the massive club-like arms that looked to end in yet more bits and bobs of heavy artillery. One of which seemed to be pointing in his direction, and boy didn't that barrel look big from way down here...
"Oh boy."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... eps?page=3](by ECSNorway)
I was baffled. In all my time jumping from world to world, I'd seen a lot of things, met a lot of people, and ended up hipdeep in a lot of weirdness. But this ... this didn't make any sense.
"Kermit," I said to the emcee, "I don't like to admit it, but I'm totally kerfuzzled on this. By all theories of physics, he shouldn't be able to do that. It shouldn't be possible. But there he is, doing it."
The frog nodded. "It's his act. Believe it or not, he's got something of a following. It's like two or three people, just as weird as he is, but they show up every week, just to see him do it. Even the Grumps think it's pretty amazing," he motioned with one webbed hand up to the balcony where the resident hecklers camped out at every show. "They still heckle, but you can tell."
"But how does he do it?!"
Kermit shrugged. "I dunno. Lew?"
The little man in the ruffled collar and the cheezy moustache turned toward us at the unspoken question. He had just pulled another one from the cooler he used to transport his tools. A speckled trout, it looked like. With an effort clearly born of long practice, he spun the trout out over the theater. It flew out across the empty space and then, impossibly, spun back towards the stage where Lew stood and smacked into his outstretched hand. Lew Zealand looked at us again and grinned. "'S all in the wrist."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... le-thought](by Ebony)
"Douglas Q. Sangnoir, Colonel, United Nations Metahuman Peacekeeping Force Warriors Alpha. My serial number is... 12."
"Twelve?" The nervous young man in OD Green mouthed, behind the moustachioed man currently holding a stethoscope to various portions of my upper anatomy.
"Well, Mr. Twelve, you happen to be in one of the finest O.R.s in Korea, and while we can't technically _require_ you to give more than name, rank, and serial number, we are kinda curious."
"Ahhh, curious about what?" I said, stalling for time while my brain spooled up from unconsciousness.
"Well, where you came from, and what you were running from, and Rizzo kinda wants to know why there's 'some unholy crossbreed of a jet engine and a hamster wheel' in your motorcycle."
I closed my eyes, considering the difference between the questions asked and the compassionate tone.
"But right now, I'm just concerned about how you're feeling. I'm B.J. Hunnicut. Who are you when you're not at home?"
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... petstagger](by Kokuten)
"What do I want, Mr. Morden? I want to go home, back to the universe where I was born, free of any claims on my soul by gods other than my Commanding Officer. Can you do that? No? Go bother someone else, then."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... n-the-dark](by Bob Schroeck)
"Jeeze, Harry, it's not your magic that's screwing up your life. I mean, you hang with someone named Murphy, and she's a representative of the Law! Apply some basic Symbology here!"
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... te-Council](by Bob Schroeck)
"Colonel Sangnoir... we're needed."
"Coming, Mrs. Peel."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... ime-worlds](by Ebony)
"Just because I carry a katana doesn't mean I'm immortal, damn it!"
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... lds?page=2](by Rob Kelk)
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war- war and the Loon. The two things in the grim darkness of the far future are war, the Loon, and ruthless efficiency. The three things in the grim darkness of the far future are war, the Loon, ruthless efficiency, and a more-than-fanatical devotion to the Emperor...
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... he-hurting](by Bluemage)
West: "You work for the United Who?"
Doug: "The United Nations."
Gordon: "There's no such thing."
Doug: "And you guys are supposed to only be chasing down counterfeiters. What's your point?"
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... eps?page=2](by Ebony)
The guy wore leather, and a lot of it. The kind that you wear because you remember that in ancient times they used to boil the stuff and use it as armor, not the kind that goes with whips and bedrooms.
Okay, fair enough, even in Key West.
He was riding a motorcycle - poolside, yet.
Weird, weird enough to be one of ours, but not too far beyond the pale.
Being presumably of the safety concious type, he still had his helmet on.
And it was a doozy, like a flowerpot to fit your head, with a hold cut in one side. It didn't have a visor, though, just a pair of heavy duty goggles, and on the sides a couple of lumps like hemispherical eggtimers.
Well, -that- I'd never seen before.
The motorcycle, now that it was bringing itself to a complete stop, had a jet engine.
I say, bringing -itself- because the guy on top seemed to be making friends with Morpheus, or at least in a state of drunk at which even so much a contemplating driving is no longer an option - that is to say, down for the count.
But none of those were the weirdest thing.
"Hey, Jake," says Fast Eddie.
"Yeah?"
"'Dis guy just popped outta da wall, right?"
"Looked like it."
"Oh. 'Kay."
And with that exchange finished, I came out from behind the bar to look him over.
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... eps?page=3](by Valles with a couple of changes suggested by others)
I juked to the side, and paused to catch my breath as Frank Zappa's cover of You've Gotta Be a Football Hero finished playing. The Warriors football jersey emblazoned with "6 7/8" faded from existence. The enemy mech leveled its Vulcan cannon at me.
An angry voice blared from its external speakers, *Unless you want to be a serving of chunky salsa, I suggest you hand over the micro-Lambda driver.*
I gave the old Bronx Cheer and prepared to load another song when I realized something. I'd heard the cannons running dry as I'd made like Joe Montana and Deion Sanders.
I stood firm and crossed my arms across my chest. "You may fire when ready, Gridley!"
The Vulcans began rotating, and the mech put its arm forward to fire.
Clicky-click-ckkk-click!
*What? I'm out of bullets?*
I raised an eyebrow and made a show of being surprised. "No more buwwets? Hey, Laughing Boy," I turned to where Sagara crouched behind a wrecked car and pointed slyly at the mech, "no. More. Bullets."
The kid took the hint and yanked the civilian girl he was supposed to be watching out of the combat zone.
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... Panic-Step](by Foxboy)
"May I humbly ask your name, divine one."
"Uh-what? I'm Loony Toons... why'd you call me 'divine one'?"
"Forgive me! I did not mean offense!"
"I forgive you! I forgive you! Now stop kissing my boots okay?! I was just asking why you called me that."
"But you are a god!"
"..."
"Though I am not familiar with your name, your Aspect is most puissant and we are all honored that you would exert your Attribute on our humble behalf."
"..." -What the FUCK!?-
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... eps?page=2](by drakensis)
"You don't scare me, you old crank! My CO's a goddess and she's ten times scarier than you!"
Wayne just stared.
"Okay. Maybe you scare me a little."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... man-Beyond](by Ebony)
"You don't want to see what's inside my head, Judge Anderson."
"I had the spirit of Judge Death in my head for a year, Sangnoir. Spare me the hubris."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... a-City-One](by Offsides and Ebony)
"Are you the ghost in the machine?"
"No. I'm the ghost using the machine."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... ell?page=2](by Bob Schroeck)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012
The Loon is having a very very very bad day.
This isn't a good place to be if you're an out-of-towner. It's not even good for the -natives-, but if they knew Doug's true nature... well, they'd probably misinterpret it, but even if not he'd be in horrible danger.
Then again, he's in horrible danger NOW.
With extremely careful use of Lightning's Hand, he's managed to forge a local identity--not high enough social status to draw attention, but not low enough to be casually killed. He hopes. Further use of LH is not a good idea--with the (literally) insane tech level, it'd get noticed. It may have BEEN noticed.
It can't last. Sooner or later, someone will catch on and THEY will be after him. Who's THEY? Who isn't?
And it's such a damned hideous world, too. Danger is everywhere, everyone is afraid of everyone else, and disregard for human life isn't just standard--it's practically mandatory. Many things are mandatory around here, but that one sticks out.
And the worst part--the absolute ultimate WORST part--
--Doug's pretty sure that if he saw this world from Outside, as a movie or a game or something, he'd be laughing his ass off. But from down here in the corridors, it isn't funny at all.
Someone's probably laughing at him right now...
He's got to find a gate song fast, before this place gets under his skin and never -ever- leaves.
Because Citizen Loon-Y-TNS-6 is developing a classic case of... PARANOIA.
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/topic/3116](by Evil Midnight Lurker)
Dorothy narrowed her optics in the expression that her interaction subroutine suggested for annoyance. "You are a nutbar, Douglas Sangnoir."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... ing?page=2](by Foxboy)
Doug shook his head as the disorientation of gate travel started to fade. Then he looked at the object his bike had crashed into. It was large, blocky, and metallic, and shaped rather vaguely like a ... foot?
He paused, looked up, and then looked up... taking in the vaguely vulture-like hunched shape of the thing, the heavy cannon resting over its shoulder, and the massive club-like arms that looked to end in yet more bits and bobs of heavy artillery. One of which seemed to be pointing in his direction, and boy didn't that barrel look big from way down here...
"Oh boy."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... eps?page=3](by ECSNorway)
I was baffled. In all my time jumping from world to world, I'd seen a lot of things, met a lot of people, and ended up hipdeep in a lot of weirdness. But this ... this didn't make any sense.
"Kermit," I said to the emcee, "I don't like to admit it, but I'm totally kerfuzzled on this. By all theories of physics, he shouldn't be able to do that. It shouldn't be possible. But there he is, doing it."
The frog nodded. "It's his act. Believe it or not, he's got something of a following. It's like two or three people, just as weird as he is, but they show up every week, just to see him do it. Even the Grumps think it's pretty amazing," he motioned with one webbed hand up to the balcony where the resident hecklers camped out at every show. "They still heckle, but you can tell."
"But how does he do it?!"
Kermit shrugged. "I dunno. Lew?"
The little man in the ruffled collar and the cheezy moustache turned toward us at the unspoken question. He had just pulled another one from the cooler he used to transport his tools. A speckled trout, it looked like. With an effort clearly born of long practice, he spun the trout out over the theater. It flew out across the empty space and then, impossibly, spun back towards the stage where Lew stood and smacked into his outstretched hand. Lew Zealand looked at us again and grinned. "'S all in the wrist."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... le-thought](by Ebony)
"Douglas Q. Sangnoir, Colonel, United Nations Metahuman Peacekeeping Force Warriors Alpha. My serial number is... 12."
"Twelve?" The nervous young man in OD Green mouthed, behind the moustachioed man currently holding a stethoscope to various portions of my upper anatomy.
"Well, Mr. Twelve, you happen to be in one of the finest O.R.s in Korea, and while we can't technically _require_ you to give more than name, rank, and serial number, we are kinda curious."
"Ahhh, curious about what?" I said, stalling for time while my brain spooled up from unconsciousness.
"Well, where you came from, and what you were running from, and Rizzo kinda wants to know why there's 'some unholy crossbreed of a jet engine and a hamster wheel' in your motorcycle."
I closed my eyes, considering the difference between the questions asked and the compassionate tone.
"But right now, I'm just concerned about how you're feeling. I'm B.J. Hunnicut. Who are you when you're not at home?"
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... petstagger](by Kokuten)
"What do I want, Mr. Morden? I want to go home, back to the universe where I was born, free of any claims on my soul by gods other than my Commanding Officer. Can you do that? No? Go bother someone else, then."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... n-the-dark](by Bob Schroeck)
"Jeeze, Harry, it's not your magic that's screwing up your life. I mean, you hang with someone named Murphy, and she's a representative of the Law! Apply some basic Symbology here!"
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... te-Council](by Bob Schroeck)
"Colonel Sangnoir... we're needed."
"Coming, Mrs. Peel."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... ime-worlds](by Ebony)
"Just because I carry a katana doesn't mean I'm immortal, damn it!"
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... lds?page=2](by Rob Kelk)
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only war- war and the Loon. The two things in the grim darkness of the far future are war, the Loon, and ruthless efficiency. The three things in the grim darkness of the far future are war, the Loon, ruthless efficiency, and a more-than-fanatical devotion to the Emperor...
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... he-hurting](by Bluemage)
West: "You work for the United Who?"
Doug: "The United Nations."
Gordon: "There's no such thing."
Doug: "And you guys are supposed to only be chasing down counterfeiters. What's your point?"
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... eps?page=2](by Ebony)
The guy wore leather, and a lot of it. The kind that you wear because you remember that in ancient times they used to boil the stuff and use it as armor, not the kind that goes with whips and bedrooms.
Okay, fair enough, even in Key West.
He was riding a motorcycle - poolside, yet.
Weird, weird enough to be one of ours, but not too far beyond the pale.
Being presumably of the safety concious type, he still had his helmet on.
And it was a doozy, like a flowerpot to fit your head, with a hold cut in one side. It didn't have a visor, though, just a pair of heavy duty goggles, and on the sides a couple of lumps like hemispherical eggtimers.
Well, -that- I'd never seen before.
The motorcycle, now that it was bringing itself to a complete stop, had a jet engine.
I say, bringing -itself- because the guy on top seemed to be making friends with Morpheus, or at least in a state of drunk at which even so much a contemplating driving is no longer an option - that is to say, down for the count.
But none of those were the weirdest thing.
"Hey, Jake," says Fast Eddie.
"Yeah?"
"'Dis guy just popped outta da wall, right?"
"Looked like it."
"Oh. 'Kay."
And with that exchange finished, I came out from behind the bar to look him over.
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... eps?page=3](by Valles with a couple of changes suggested by others)
I juked to the side, and paused to catch my breath as Frank Zappa's cover of You've Gotta Be a Football Hero finished playing. The Warriors football jersey emblazoned with "6 7/8" faded from existence. The enemy mech leveled its Vulcan cannon at me.
An angry voice blared from its external speakers, *Unless you want to be a serving of chunky salsa, I suggest you hand over the micro-Lambda driver.*
I gave the old Bronx Cheer and prepared to load another song when I realized something. I'd heard the cannons running dry as I'd made like Joe Montana and Deion Sanders.
I stood firm and crossed my arms across my chest. "You may fire when ready, Gridley!"
The Vulcans began rotating, and the mech put its arm forward to fire.
Clicky-click-ckkk-click!
*What? I'm out of bullets?*
I raised an eyebrow and made a show of being surprised. "No more buwwets? Hey, Laughing Boy," I turned to where Sagara crouched behind a wrecked car and pointed slyly at the mech, "no. More. Bullets."
The kid took the hint and yanked the civilian girl he was supposed to be watching out of the combat zone.
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... Panic-Step](by Foxboy)
"May I humbly ask your name, divine one."
"Uh-what? I'm Loony Toons... why'd you call me 'divine one'?"
"Forgive me! I did not mean offense!"
"I forgive you! I forgive you! Now stop kissing my boots okay?! I was just asking why you called me that."
"But you are a god!"
"..."
"Though I am not familiar with your name, your Aspect is most puissant and we are all honored that you would exert your Attribute on our humble behalf."
"..." -What the FUCK!?-
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... eps?page=2](by drakensis)
"You don't scare me, you old crank! My CO's a goddess and she's ten times scarier than you!"
Wayne just stared.
"Okay. Maybe you scare me a little."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... man-Beyond](by Ebony)
"You don't want to see what's inside my head, Judge Anderson."
"I had the spirit of Judge Death in my head for a year, Sangnoir. Spare me the hubris."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... a-City-One](by Offsides and Ebony)
"Are you the ghost in the machine?"
"No. I'm the ghost using the machine."
http://drunkardswalkforums.yuku.com/top ... ell?page=2](by Bob Schroeck)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."
- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012