[STORY/RP] Convention thread GO!

[Anpwhotep]

Banging your head against the ceiling, even at 1/10 g, is a rotten way to start your day. Banging your head against the ceiling because your idiot son decided to wake you up with the melodious strains of "Goldfish Warning" is, without a doubt, a worse start to the day.
"This had better be good, David!" I growled at the intercom. "I've told you, "Goldfish Warning" is strictly for emergencies!"
"How about an unscheduled Con, Dad?" David replied, his voice showing no signs of contrition whatsoever. "We just got the bounce off SSX. Con's gonna be in Phobos. If you take Max, you can get there with a few hours to spare."
"Max? What do you think about this?" I knew he was listening in - we were all pretty much an open book to each other, and there wasn't anyone else on Pallas yet, since the atmosphere was still growing. My calendar had the last of the O2-generating bacteria I'd bought from Kevin scheduled to hit their saturation point and die in about a month. Until then, I was living at the end I'd designated "North Pole," in a tunnel complex that would be the place's main port, with my boys.
"It would be nice to chat with some of the other ships without having to deal with the lag," Max replied. He's my third son. Looks like a VF-1S with a Skull Squadron paint job. "I'm up for it."
"All right, then. I'll throw together my Con kit and we can scoot." As much as I hate going into crowds that big, if something had come up to justify a Con this far out of the normal schedule, I figured I'd better be there to see what was up. "Mac? Antonio? You guys can keep up the maintenance and keep the Reavers off, right?"
"I am more concerned about random dust than Reavers," Antonio replied. "The canopy may be self-healing, but it still requires monitoring as the atmosphere fills it. I'm not sure the anchors are as strong as the canopy is."
"Neither am I, Tony. Neither am I. It's the trade-off of using a carbonaceous asteroid instead of a rocky one. Lots of organic material, but it's not as strong as rock would be. How about you, Mac?"
"No problems, Dad. A 40cm slug of solid rock, traveling at 100 miles per second, is going to ruin anyone's day. And you left us plenty of rocks to play with." Mac answered with a laugh. "At least, enough to keep any Reavers out of range until help can get here."
"All right. If you're sure." Have I mentioned how much I hate crowds?
"Dad," David cut in, actually sounding impatient, "if you don't start putting your kit together, I'll read the email to you. Out loud."
"Oy. Is it really that bad?"
"Dad, it's in Engrish." David made it sound as if Engrish were a swear word. "Video game level Engrish."
"Uh...right. Max, start warming up your engines. I'll be out in just a minute." Or maybe two, but it wasn't going to take long. It's not like I have all that much to pack. My Con kit really just consists of my meds, a couple changes of clothes, and whatever spare cash I have to spend on the hucksters. At least living at 1/10 g meant I didn't need as many meds as I had on Earth. But most days, before the end of the day, I was wishing I could trade in my organic parts for cybernetic ones, rather than just wearing Edgar as a wristwatch. Come to think of it, he hadn't put in his two cents worth yet. "Edgar?"
"I'm sorry, Father," Edgar answered - verbally, rather than directly into my mind the way he usually did. "I have been analyzing what I could scrape up in message traffic. Unfortunately, it's not very informative. Mostly speculation and gossip. It does, however, confirm that the Reavers are concerning a lot of people. Most worrisomely, they seem to be concerning people affiliated with the 'Danelaw."
"Just what we need," I grumbled under my breath as I stuffed my bag. As if my day hadn't started off badly enough. "Damned fedgoons sticking their noses where they're not wanted. Just what they do best. Damned Reavers would almost be an improvement. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if OUR Reavers were a fedgoon project, too."
"Not surprising, but not likely, either," Edgar said. "David, do continue monitoring everything you can pick up. If you hit anything like what I've flagged as interesting, squirt it to Max. He can pass it to me."
"Sure thing," David said. "Dad, I have your frame in Max's cargo bay in case the gravity is too high in Phobos. Use it this time. Please?"
His voice had a pleading tone I couldn't fight. Last time I'd gone anywhere with a lot of gravity, I'd had a mild heart attack. Ever since then, the boys had been afraid I'd have a repeat performance, and that this time I wouldn't be able to get medical help in time.
"All right, David," I sighed. "I promise. And Edgar will help me keep my promise. OK?"
"Thanks, Dad." The relief in his voice brought tears to my eyes. The boys really did worry about me, and I loved them as much as if they were my own flesh and blood. I couldn't risk leaving them alone and unloved.
"David, make sure everyone hears this, ok?" I waited for him to acknowledge it before I continued. "I promise, I'll do whatever I have to, to stay healthy on this trip. But if anything happens despite the best efforts of myself, Max, and Edgar, I want you to call Kevin. If you can't get through to him, call Megan. Either way, I don't want you boys left alone without someone to love you."
I did my best to ignore the worried protests as I stowed my bag alongside my frame and closed Max's cargo bay. Once that was done, I jumped up to the cockpit and strapped myself in. Given my size, it was a tight fit, but more snug than painful out here. Kind of like a Fiero's bucket seat had fit when I was 200 pounds lighter. I leaned back, snugged my head up against the headrest, and felt Max's induction connections take hold. Seeing and feeling through his sensors, I no longer felt restricted by my own body. Max/I rolled out of the hangar into the open ground within the polar ring, then stopped to scan the sky before kicking in the drives and taking off. The best thing about being completely linked with Max was that the cockpit didn't have any controls or instruments to confuse me if I opened my eyes while linked. Max/I flew as naturally as a bird, without need of the instruments an ordinary pilot and jet needed. Sometimes Edgar had to bring us back down to earth, but that didn't happen much since the time we flew to the Limit and Edgar had had to pull us back before my body failed from hunger and dehydration.
"Here's the rest of your email, Dad," David sent as we lifted away from Pallas. "Try to have fun, ok?"
"Will do my best. You boys be good to each other while I'm gone, ok? I love you all."
"We love you too, Father," Antonio replied for all of them, waving one of his chelicera as Max/I flew over the envelope before adjusting our course for Mars.
--
Homepage: http://www.macmanusnet.net
Sailor Moon Fanfiction: http://crystal.macmanusnet.net
--
Homepage: http://www.macmanusnet.net

Sailor Moon Fanfiction: http://crystal.macmanusnet.net

[Anpwhotep]

"Spam...spam...spam...Let David play with this one...let's read that Con notice now..." Space between Pallas and Mars is pretty boring. Catching up on my email was just about the only thing to do, and even that wasn't high on the excitement list. "OK, did someone run this through an alpha version of Babelfish, or was it composed using those magnetic poetry strips?"
"Maybe it was a combination of the two?" Max suggested. "By the way, we're coming up on Kevin's usual parking space. He's not there. Probably already left for the Con."
"Somehow, that wouldn't surprise me," Edgar said. "This is a group I've never heard of before, which makes me wonder if they're something like the Cabal, and trying to keep people from figuring out who they are by interpreting their writing style."
"Could be, but everybody knows there is no Cabal." We all laughed at that. The joke was so old, it had dinosaur droppings on it. "OK. Max, scan to see which way Kevin went, then set up email headers and plug in this text: Fred, Edgar, and Maxmillian MacManus en route for Convention. Will need parking space for Max. Pressurized space preferred. End message. Max, can you get a list of who has rooms available and reserve a single? Preferably as far from the main floor as possible?"
"Will do, Dad. Mail's sent, downloading list of rentals now. Edgar, why don't you do the search while Dad and I do some debris-dodging?"
Debris-dodging? Max slid the armor shield over the cockpit's canopy while I let myself sink fully into the link, and now Max/I saw it clearly. some bits of molten metal, a little shrapnel, some organic material and a very, VERY thin cloud of air. It looked as if someone's...hmmm...license plate?...yup, someone's car, no make that truck, had blown up in the area, long enough before that the air cloud was maybe 1 or 2 molecules per cubic meter of space. This must be where Kevin blew up the zwilnik. Time to make a call. Max/I switched to our preferred frequency and gave out a shout.
"Hey! Bel-chan! Are you girls ok? And what's Kevin up to? Want some company? Gimme a call back, ok?"
As Max/I expected, even though we were able to dodge the obvious bits of wreckage - of which there was a lot less than expected even given the time that had passed - some of the smaller stuff, probably droplets of metal that had resolidified after the explosion, pinged off the our skin. Just to be on the safe side, we folded into guardian mode and activated the gun pod. Sure, handwavium wasn't usable as a weapon itself, but it's not like I needed it to be - not as long as it could be used in building a power plant large enough to feed a proper gatling laser. If I could ever get the kinks out of the Ravenfield design, I wouldn't have to worry about the power plant, but until then...thank goodness for Wagner and Tchaikovsky. At least the gun pod's power supply didn't want Sousa.
No response. Well, Kevin usually cruised in this part of the Belt when he wasn't on site for a specific job, so as long as Max/I kept going on my current path, we would be sure to bump into him sooner or later. Hopefully before we get to the Con. It'd be nice to see what he and the girls think about that crazy jumble of Engrish.
"Hello, Fred," Fate's chorus of voices came in about a half hour after my call. "Sorry we didn't call back earlier, but Kevin was kind of busy, and we didn't want to interrupt him. I'll let him know you called once he's figured out what to do with his tail."
"His tail? Do you all have another zwilnik on your ass? Need some backup?" Max/I switched back to fighter mode and cranked up to max speed. No way were we going to let Kevin and the girls fight someone without help. Luckily, the signal was clean enough we could home in on it easily.
"No, nothing like that," Lachesis laughed. "We really do mean a tail. You know, furry, prehensile, throws off his balance so he keeps falling on his arse. That kind of tail."
"A...tail." OK, that was a surprise. Max/I throttled back and scanned for the Fateful Lightning, which had to be coming up close, while trying to decipher that one. "How long has he had a tail?"
"About an hour," Lachesis said. "That's why it's so fun to watch him. He's like a baby, just learning to walk. Except lots cuter."
"Lots cuter." Since Kevin's ideas of cute and mine didn't always intersect ( I voted for Ayanami Rei, while he voted for Ikari Shinji, for instance), I thought about what kind of being with a tail would fall under Kevin's definition of "cute". The answer wasn't hard to find. "I...see. So do I need to make him up a collapsible quarterstaff to keep in his pocket?"
"Want me to ask him?" The tone of 'innocence' in Lachesis' voice made it clear she thought it'd be a fun way to tease him. How could I possibly deny her the fun?
"Sure. Go for it." I really wanted to see what kind of reaction she got, and I knew she'd keep a recording of it for me. Ah. There was the Temple coming into view, not too far ahead. Max/I adjusted speed to match theirs and took up a position above the temple's roof. "We'll just ride shotgun out--"
"Hei Kaptein!" Elsie called. "Hva er skjer med det zwilniks?"
"English, little sister," Clothos chided gently. "What's this about zwilniks?"
"Awww, you're no fun, Skuld!" Elsie complained. "I just wanted to know if you'd heard anything more since you guys blew up that zwilnik. You think it might have something to do with the surprise Con?"
Fate's choir answered Elsie, "Between the zwilnik and what we've been hearing about attacks by 'Reavers' on various miners...as well as numerous other rumors that haven't been validated yet...there is at least a decent probability someone has decided to address the issue. It depends on how much information has been collected by others."
Elsie nodded thoughtfully. "We can hope, at least. If there's a reason like that for the Con, maybe we won't have to put up with Fred's whining about how crowded and noisy it is." She laughed. "We might even be given an excuse to go Reaver hunting."
Atropos snorted softly, "You always did like more excitement than is good for people, child. Though if there are Reavers out there, their threads do need clipped."
"Awww, what's wrong, Auntie Urd?" Elsie giggled. "Just because I ENJOY my work...."
Atropos snorted again, and the tone implied rolled eyes. "Yes, child. We know. How could we not?" She chuckled. "I suppose we'll see. Father did NOT appreciate the zwilnik threatening his friends. Foolish idiot. If he'd just threatened Father, he might've lived. But you know Father...threaten his friends or children...."
"Yup. Kev's a lot like Mike that way," Elsie laughed. "Threaten him? No big deal. He'll just swat you. Threaten his family, friends, or patients? Wrath of the Gryphon time."
"That's Da, yes. So...we'd invite you inside, but Max, you're a bit big for the trailers, lad. We're doing a slow haul to the Con - the lad wants a chance to get used to the changes and all." Lachesis chuckled softly, "Do you want to travel together? Are you set OK for a slow trip in? Or do you need us to speed up some? I'm sure the lad will agree."
"Eh," Elsie shrugged. "We've got enough esteefee to keep us until we get there. Fred seems to enjoy being linked up to Max, so it's not like he's in any rush, and the rest of us can keep ourselves entertained." She laughed and added, teasingly, "Especially if you have compromising videos of Kevin learning how to control his new body to share with us."
Clotho giggled, and Lachesis joined in with a chuckle. "He's currently trying to clean up from the mod. He managed to keep his balance enough to walk once he figured out the problem...barely....but he was walking like day three of a four day bender."
"Only without the hurling, I hope," Elsie laughed. "I'm gonna let Fred back in front now. I think I'll be laughing about that image for a while."
"--here. Damn it! I HATE it when she does that!" I realized I'd lost several minutes, and got the flashed impressions of Elsie's conversation. "Yeah, Elsie's right. We've got enough esteefee for two or three weeks. Might want to come over in a day or two and borrow your showers, but we're ok otherwise."
Lachesis replied, her voice still sounding amused. "No problem. You know you're always welcome here. The lad will be happy to see you, too. It's not often the two of you get to chat face to face, after all. He should be done cleaning up before too long. Want him to call you when he's done?"
"Sounds like a plan. Thanks, ladies. I'm gonna find my Excedrin now." One of the many reasons I hate it when they jump front like that is that it always leaves me with a headache. "Talk with you in a bit, ok?"
Fate answered, "Yes, Fred. We'll talk to you soon."
--
Homepage: http://www.macmanusnet.net
Sailor Moon Fanfiction: http://crystal.macmanusnet.net
--
Homepage: http://www.macmanusnet.net

Sailor Moon Fanfiction: http://crystal.macmanusnet.net

[drakensis]

The youngster who was second into the room did a double take when he saw me sat in the corner, a paperback novel open in my hand. (I later found out that this was an oft-assumed pose taken by one of the other SOS-dan, but I didn't know this at the time).
The young woman in the lead didn't even slow down, simply stalking down the room. "What are your qualifications!?" she asked as she did this. "Are you an alien? A time traveller? An esper?"
I closed my book, using a playing card (from the only Battletech TCG, rather than a poker deck actually) as a bookmark. "Aren't you being rather narrow minded? What if I was an alien esper travelling through time?"
"Are you?"
"Merely, a stranger in a strange land, travelling time in much the same way as yourselves, I believe," I demurred, putting the book away. Another young man and two young women had also entered the room while these pleasantries were exchanged. "Which is to say, forwards and at a rate that varies only through perception."
Then I interlaced my fingers, causing a distinct cracking of the knuckles, half-turned on the chair, rested my elbows on the table and my chin on my thumbs, looking at them over my hands. "You can call me Mr. Morden. And you, of course, are Suzumiya Haruhi, the famous leader of the equally famous SOS-dan."
"Tell me, Suzumiya-san..." Behind my hands, I smirked at them. "What do you want?"
Suzumiya slapped her hands onto the table in front of me. "I want the espers manipulating the world from behind a veil of mystery. I want the shapechanging monsters who appear in a hundred faces in a thousand days and the kitsune whose tails cause hurricanes when she waves them. I want a coyote from America and the parrots of the Caribees. I want a legion of the daring and bold to rise up and cast down the evils of the world in the name of GREAT JUSTICE."
She put her face right in front of me, as if daring me to interrupt. Not that I'd have dreamed of doing so, of course. "I want alien wanderers who play with planets the way you do with your food and then vanishing to leave great cities for use to unearth. I want the old man with whiskers down to his knees who begged on a street corner to show me the hidden alleys that lead from Mars to Mercury in the blink of an eye. I want a utopia in the skies where robots are building a castle for people who haven't even been thought of, a dream of a library where all the books never written are recorded. I want all the mutants and changelings to step forwards to be pirates and ninja and giant robot pilots."
"I want weirdness; strange happenings; mysteries hidden in a thousand shapes; aliens who live in outer space and inside the Sun, the ones right amongst you and the ones who don't know about us, the ones from the future and the past and know secrets that the rest of the universe won't and can't find."
"How soon will you have that arranged that for me, Mr. Morden?"
One of the men in the group cleared his throat. "Um, we were trying to form an interFen fleet to deal with the pirates in the asteroid belt?"
"I said that already," she snapped. "Well, how long will it take?" she demanded of me.
I stood, the chair scraping back along the floor as I did so, and leant forwards until I was able to whisper almost directly into her ear: "My dear, it's no fault of mine if you haven't found them yet."
And then I went towards the door.
"Morden-san," asked the young man who had spoken, as I left the small meeting room with answers to some of my questions, questions for some of my answers and several more of both that as yet were unmatched. "How did you know where to find us?"
I glanced at him and then spread my hands. "I'm the man," I said, in my best David Carradine imitation.
Actually it had been the result of a few quiet enquiries to acquaintances among the permanent population of Phobos, a little eavesdropping and a more or less systematic process of opening doors in this particular sector that had led to my finding the sysadmin for the Phobos internet server, who had given me the directions. But I wasn't going to tell him that. For one thing, it's good business to protect your sources. For another, I have a reputation to maintain.D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[KJ]

(Group bit between Hunterminator, blackaeronaut and I. Confusingly enough, first person is from Hunterminator's point of view. You're all smart, you can deal with it.)

KJ smiled sheepishly at Ben as she took a sip from her Guinness. "I'm KJ,from the racing committee first off," she said extending a hand. "Don't know that we've met face to face before. Normally I'm male, but handwavium..."
A look of comprehension dawned on Ben's face. "Ah. That stuff will do as it pleases."
I let out a low whistle, "Sexchange biomod? Ouch."
"Quasi-Jusenkyo really," she replied. Benjamin snorted at that. While not a Ranma fan, he was very much familiar with the consequences of a Jusenkyo curse. "Irritating, but what're you going to do? And you are?"
I held my hand out, and gave one of my business cards with my other hand, "Laurent Veilleux, Captain of the Schrottplatz."
KJ took the card, examined it for a moment and put it in the pocket of her Hawaiian shirt. "Ah, okay, I've heard of you... I'm chief engineer on the Explain Star, in addition to hobbies..."
I winced at the heard of you part, no doubt my drones figured in whatever reputation I had.
"At any rate," KJ continued, "no worries about womanly abuse coming your ways... I was trying to track down other racers and put faces to ships and names, but... you two hear about what's behind this whole thing yet?"
"Not yet," said Ben. "But I figure that we'll hear about it soon. Though I couldn't imagine what this Con is for from the announcement. Somebody needs to shoot their computer."
I considered for an instant, and decided to be honest, "I have." KJ nodded, not surprised.
"You _have_" said Ben, turning to Laurent. "Please, do tell."
KJ shrugged. "I don't think there was any prohibition on spreading knowledge; I heard second-hand."
"Well, it was only a teaser really, but a member of the SOS-dan came to me to ask for my support tomorrow. You've heard of the raider attacks right?"
"The hell I have. Sent a couple of the damn sunnuvabitches to their maker about a month ago. They haven't messed with me since." I nodded.
"I never met them myself, but my ship is far from theft material so I'm not surprised. Anyway, somehow, the SOS bunch have, somehow, come by critical information regarding them that paints a much... grimmer picture than what anyone else suspects and they want to organize some sort of task force to counter them."
KJ spoke up. "Cards on the table, the Star's probably going to be throwing in whether it passes as a group activity or not."
"She's armed?" asked Ben, taken a little by surprise.
"I don't think I'm supposed to answer that," KJ replied with a grin. "But there's advantages to trying to do mushytech."
Ben shook his head in wonder and admiration. "That there certainly is."
I snapped up, "Damnit, that reminds me again." I chugged down the rest of my shot glass before deciding to clarify, "I already said yes, but my ship has no weapons, and the hulls the only defensive system."
Ben shrugged. "Well, don't look at me. Gina's got her toys from the professor."
"I don't know that anyone knows what the... opposition is using," KJ pointed out. "Hell, it might devolve into boarding actions."
"I dunno. Before you can even board a ship, especially a Boskonian, you gotta pull its teeth first."
I looked from one to the other and thought, "Boarding actions, I can live with that." but then, I heard a word that I didn't know, "Boskonian?"
"Old game reference that is used to refer to these ass wipes," Ben answered.
"Maybe there'll be more intel... dunno." KJ swirled her Guinness around in its glass. "Really irritating though... some assholes wanting to go and screw things up for the rest. And I so wanted to try the WRX in the buggy-races..." the last sentence being muttered more than anything.
"I'll be there next time," said Ben with a big grin by way of challenge.
I shrugged, "Never heard that word, guess I'll have to google it later." I turned to the other, "And I was looking forward to looking at some races from orbit, I'm thinking it'd really be something, so you'd better send me a quick e-mail whenever you do it."
KJ grinned. "Well, we're both in the space races, but someone hatched the idea of buggy races on surfaces, so... if someone hosts it, the racers will come." Ben nodded agreement.
"I'll be sure to let you guys know about anything I'm involved in, race wise. As for the buggies, Gina's already all over that like flies on stink. She's been trading e-mails with the Professor about mods to her chassis to support a hot-swap suspension system."
"Kinda cheating if she's capable of flying around though..." KJ mentioned and then shrugged. "I'll have to see how well the hardtech-spec WRX does in testing I suppose..."
I had no mirrors to check... but I'm pretty sure my eyes were glazed over by that point. I'm just not a racer I guess.
"Oh no, heaven forbid that I cheat. That's what the hot-swap is for," Ben continued explaining. "Rapid swap out of her existing hover system and street wheels for an all-terrain rig."
"Hrm, workable," KJ responded after thinking about it for a few seconds. "Maybe not even that hard. How much of the subframes did you end up modifying for the conversion... er... uh oh, looks like we're losing Laurent."
Ben chuckled at that. "Indeed. Back on topic. Raiders. Boskonians. And what this SOS-dan intends to do about them."
I snapped back to attention at that, "I'm not sure what they intend to do, but I'm guessing a HUGE hunting party with whatever whacko at the head of the SOS in charge. Speaking of whacko, the Professor met her and, according to him, she's even MORE" I mimicked quotes, " 'Enthusiastic' than him." I shuddered at that.
KJ blinked at that. "... that may be interesting to see." Ben's reaction was more severe.
"WHAT!?" cried out Ben with an odd, incredulous grin on his face. "Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-hooaaa! This I have got to see in person." He paused. "But really... These raiders are scum-dogs supreme. If they want some fighter-support, then I'm all for it and I don't think Gina will refuse either. She lives for that kind of high."
"Fighter-scale armament may take some doing," KJ responded. "Occurs to me that scouts would be useful though; gauging capabilities and whatnot."
"Well," I said, "if you want recon, I'm pretty sure I could stea, er... acquire a few mopeds dirt-side, put drones in them and tell them to go take a look at the enemy fleet I guess."
"Mopeds are good too," agreed KJ. "Whatever of the space racers are volunteering probably have more capable things handy, but if we add up to enough for all the recon that needs doing. After that... hrm... heh heh. Reminds me. Dee?" A 4 inch tall holographic girl appeared about a foot from KJ's face. "Yeah, bosslady?" KJ grimaced at that. "Just remind me to pick up enough guacamole for the Priss project."
"Priss project?" asked Ben, arching an eyebrow.
"Yeah, well... I was tinkering with powered exoskeleton designs on CAD and whatnot even before the handwavium broke out. After, things got easier, what with power supplies and wavium actuators and such so I thought I might cosplay as a Knight Sabre at a future con."
Ben gaped. "..... KJ, that so rocks. You bring the Hard Suit, I'll bring the Alter Ability."
I piped up at that, "And I'll bring the quasi-genuine copy know-how if you want," I commented wryly.
Benjamin grinned slyly. "Sounds like we could possibly make a dangerous trio."
KJ blushed a bit, took a sip from her Guinness. "Don't get me wrong... I'm not as militant as some, but it's been in the back of my head since day one that things might go wrong... and I spend a lot of time thinking."
Ben nodded. "Same here, but I've already taken precautions. I'm glad to have the professor for a friend, otherwise, I don't know if I would have ever gotten Gina armed up the way I wanted to in time to take care of the raiders I nuked."
I groaned a bit, "Damnit, am I the only one that was going around hoping that we could be peaceful out in fenspace with only the occasional Trekies-Warsies conflicts?
"No, you're far from the only one hoping," KJ responded with emphasis on the last word. "Maybe it'll turn out that way eventually but if nothing else, the 'danes might figure out how to be problematic at some point."
"Yeah, there's always some dumb-ass trying to screw up a good thing for everyone else just because they're scared or they're greedy. That's why we need to be vigilant," Ben agreed.
KJ shrugged and smiled. "... that and I've never been a Trekkie."
I grumbled and did my best Mc'Coy voice, "Damnit Jim, I'm a mechanic, not a warrior."
"Even the mechanics have a place, Bones," Ben responded, and KJ snickered somewhat.
That last comment made me snort, but after a moment, I suddenly had an idea. "Wait a second, I know. Instead of recon vehicles, I could make the mopeds into highly mobile repair drones to keep the fleet in shape. Hell, I can even make them copies of one fandom or another's material and sell them afterwards."
Ben grasped the idea immediately. "Sweet! Combat tenders!" KJ nodded.
"That's an interesting one. Fleets though... kinda weird. I wonder how large the problem actually is, y'know? It's definitely a change in the order of things."
"Maybe that's why the SOS-dan is calling as many Fen together as possible," Ben proposed.
"Think about it though... it's sort of going to be moving towards having enforced... well, laws, at least in the broadest sense."
I hmm'ed, "And it also suddenly makes fendom seem less vulnerable and more united."
Ben grinned. "Yeah. That sounds about right to me. Just like back home in the good old days."
"Have to kinda wonder what Mal's take on the long-term political crap's going to be," KJ pondered out loud. "I'm just a damned tinkerer after all."
"Well, I'm a tinkerer too," Ben commented, "But I think I got too much of the old blood alive in me. I'm looking forward to opening up a nice can of vigilante whoop-ass mayhem on these guys."
"You're saying this to a lady-shaped gentleman with combat boots and daisho."
I snorted and said, tongue in cheek, "Who better to say that to?"
Ben chuckled and held his hands up in a defensive 'Hey-hey, not me' gesture.
KJ chuckled at me. "Who better to say it to indeed," she replied, then muttered and repeated it in a raised voice to go over the increasingly loud tones coming from a different section of the bar. "Mou, what the hell are they arguing about?"
Ben peeked around KJ. It was kind of comical, given the way Ben's ponytail-with-a-mind-of-its-own was whipping around in its non-existent breeze. "Dunno," said Ben. "Sounds like a heated debate over subs versus dubs."
As soon as I heard the words 'subs versus dubs', I couldn't help but mentally scream, 'Not again!'
"Ah. Of course. How silly of me. What else would they be arguing about in a Senshi-themed bar?" Even over the increasing racket, the dry irritation in KJ's voice came through clearly. "Now if only... hey!" she said as she suddenly grabbed her pint glass and leaned to the side to avoid a man reeling into the bar.
Ben, despite his smallish size gracefully caught the man before he could have a harsh encounter with the bar. "Easy there man. Don't wanna get yourself hurt, now." The ungrateful drunk slurred something about Ben being a damned subber and aimed a sloppy blow at him. Ben took the punch, twisting with it to lighten the blow. He then glares at the drunk and nonchalantly reaches into an inside pocket, removes a credit chit, and says, "I apologize in advance, bar keep. "This should help cover the expenses."
Meanwhile I stood up and accidentally stumbled into another drunk wandering by. Before I could do anything, he slurred something about 'stupid dubbers' and swung at me. I let the punch harmlessly hit my chest, before replying with an haymaker that sent him straight to the sandman's kingdom.
Ben stood up, cast his arm out to the side, and then his barstool dissolved. Suddenly, his right arm began to glow and actually _split_ between his knuckles. Something like glowing cable materials from the dematerialised barstool wrapped itself around his arm, binding it back together as organic-looking armor began to materialize along the whole length of his arm, including his shoulder. Behind his shoulder were three wicked looking spikes curving off to the side. "Okay, you jerk. Let's dance."
I turned around and arched an eyebrow at Ben's new attire, "Were you thinking of Guyver when you got THAT biomod?"
Ben laid the first drunk low with a spectacular power-punch to the face and replied, "It's a special custom job. Didn't I mention that the Professor is a friend of mine?"
I frowned, "So there's really weapon's grade 'Wavium?"
Ben now proceeded to knock drunkards down. None of them decided that they wanted to get back up from their forced nap time. "Nope! Just weapon's grade biomods! WHOOO-HOOO!"
KJ grimaced and finished her Guinness in a long pull, casually setting the glass back on the bar. "Right, I see we're in this stage of... WHAT THE HELL!" KJ interrupted herself as another drunk took the opportunity to glomp her. She turned bright red at the rather short drunk burying his face in her chest, her mouth open in what would almost be a scream of surprise if noise were coming out. The reaction finally came a bare handful of seconds later when her brain caught up and she drove the hilt of her katana into the drunk's stomach. "Ugh... y'know," she commented conversationally as she planted the toe of her boot into the drunk's stomach again to drive the point of her displeasure home. "I didn't try for this biomod. I don't mind it most of the time but..." She paused to drive an elbow into another face. "Sometimes..."
I leant to the side to look at our 'female' companion over Ben's shoulder. Considering the way she was pummelling the drunk, I guessed I was better off not knowing, and instead pulled out a pipe wrench out of my tool-belt and held it at the ready.
KJ added another kick for good measure and paused to properly rearrange the sheathed katana in her belt and growled. "I swear, it's just not possible to understand how disconcerting getting groped is without being female," she muttered as she head butted another fan.
I did not wait long as a James Kirk wannabe fen swaggered confidently to me. His wink to one of the nearby waitresses made me think that he was hopping to impress her or some such. I took advantage of the fact that he was looking elsewhere to punch him with the hand holding the wrench, seeing no need to use it on the over-confident moron.
Suddenly, a rather large and hulking specimen of Fen stalked up behind Benjamin and sucker punched him in the kidneys, causing Ben to snarl in pain and rage as he recoils from the blow and finds that it was a Trekky modded into a freakin' Klingon.
"Honorless bastard!" snarled Ben incisively. "Lemme show you how it's DONE!" A few Fen knew what was coming and quickly began to get the hell out of the way...
"SHOCKING FIRST BULLET!!!" screamed Ben as one of the spikes protruding from his shoulder disintegrated and was converted into kinetic energy that fuelled his mad charging power-punch that drove the Klingon through tables, chairs, unsuspecting Fen, and the outside wall of the Bar.
KJ paused at the scream and the colossal impact. "Oh. That. Err... Ben?"
I turned my head to look at the havoc, "Isn't that... y'know... a bit much?"
"No no, not that... them." She gestured to the horde of fangirls on the outside of the bar, now visible through the large hole in the wall.
I followed her finger with my eyes, and saw the female horde. For some reason, I felt the need to make my best imitation of Neo, "Whoa."
Ben suddenly looked up and saw that he was surrounded by startled Magical Pretty Girls of all sorts. Suddenly, they all cheered wildly, "OH RUHODESU SAMA!!!! HE'S SO STRONG!" Ben gulped audibly and uttered, "oohhh shit..."
KJ blinked as the horde of Magical Pretty Girls and other assorted ravening fangirls paused their charge and swivelled their gazes away from Ben and towards a tall, buxom redhead. Namely herself. "Oh ass," she sighed, knowing that because there's conventions to be followed, she was going to get mobbed by people seeing her as a rival for Ben's affections. Whether it was a side-effect of the handwavium, or just ingrained programming wasn't something she had time to ponder at the moment.
Ben suddenly made a crazy, wobbly armed back dash back into the bar, looking for cover as all the senshi began to pile into the bar, sensibilities be damned now. "RUN!" cried Ben.
I didn't need to be told twice and I thought of jumping behind the bar, before the fact that if I did, I'd probably be stuck with the tab made me reconsider. Instead, I hunched my shoulders down, held my wrench in a two handed grip, and rushed for the nearest exit, ready to plow through anyone trying to stop me.
"You're buying the beers next time!" KJ shouted as she drew both her katana and wakizashi and ran in a different direction, a large portion of the horde in hot pursuit.

[drakensis]

I had barely entered the promenade again, wincing at the volume that was coming from the far end of the chamber. When I had a moment, I might have to intervene down there.
"Asuma-kun?"
But not now. I half-turned and spotted the rather distinctive pink-dyed hair of an aquaintance of mine. She wore her allegiance on her forehead - the hitai-ate is pretty distinctive, since her home had sensibly made up their own symbol for it. "Billboard-brow!"
Wow, look at the pretty stars... oh wait, that's the ceiling so that means I'm... on the floor.
"Do you think Lacus-sensei killed him?" asked a young voice in what might have been a whisper if the general noise level had allowed.
"His head's harder than that," said Lacus Rivers. Her name isn't really Lacus, I guess, but I'm not exactly in a position to criticise. I levered myself up and saw that she was in the company of three much younger Fens - teenagers - all wearing ninja gear as envisaged by Kishimoto.
"ow. Did you have to hit me?"
"Yes."
"So hard?"
"Get up, you big girl's blouse," she ordered, motivating me with the sole of her sandal against my (fortunately armoured) ribcage.
"I hear and obey, O Great One," I promised, kipping up so that she could introduce her 'genin team'. There were, of course, three of them: Toby and Julie were both redhead although she was carroty while his was almost blood-red, which I took to be chemical in origins. The third, and youngest of them was Mickey, who had apparently raided a similar hairdresser to Toby since his hair was actually blue. From the looks of them, they were barely old enough to be out here on duty, since unofficial policy in Hidden Asteroid is that if you aren't sixteen the most dangerous job you'll get is making deliveries for one of the Ninja Burger franchises.
"Lacus," I said when I got a moment in between the introductions. "I want... and very possibly need to know what's going on the Belt. I'm not asking you to break any confidences... but if there's anything at all you can tell me..."
Lacus might occasionally be just a little flighty, but she's also a jonin of Hidden Asteroid and she knew better than to mess around when I said that I needed the information. We went back a couple of years, since I'd sold up my share of the asteroid mining gig and moved on to fresher pastures. That had meant my withdrawal from the In Nomine campaign that a mutual friend was runnning, and she knew what it meant when I used that word with emphasis.
"I am not permitted to discuss that at this time," she said after a moment's thought. "I can relay your interest to Karasukage-sama, however. I'm sure he will be interested in your interest."
I nodded. "Thank you. So, how long have you had a team for?"
"Oh, about three months now. We were just on the way back from the L-4 point when the Convention was called, so I thought they deserved to have a little time off and attend."
"I'd heard that there were some difficulties out there," I said. "Fens or 'Danes? Or is that classified as well?" I was careful not to make that sound like a jab. Sometimes talking to ninja is tricky because there are topics that shinobi discuss only with shinobi and kunoichi talk only to other kunoichi when it comes to certain other topics. And if a classified mission's involved then you may as well start tapdancing through a minefield.
"I'm afraid so," Lacus admitted. "But I understand that you've been working in the Inner System lately?"
"Doing some negotiating between the Senshi and the Europeans," I said mildly. "There's a big market there and it's not really been tapped to it's full extent yet. I may wind up upsetting Moscow again though."
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[drakensis]

Strong men wept. Women screamed. Ninja went for cover and looked for weapons. Several animate but not biological objects shuffled nervously away, trying not to capture the attention of the two men whose evil laughter filled to concourse...
And it had all started so innocently, with nothing more than a stated opinion...
"...sure that the Professor doesn't actually have any military-grade handwavium. After all there are still nine planets in the Solar System..."
"Eight planets," corrected Mickey.
"Eight planets?" I asked. "Are you sure?" All three of the genin nodded. "Hmm, well maybe I'm wrong then. Which one did he blow up?"
"I think that what Mickey means is that Pluto doesn't count as a planet," Lacus clarified.
"What do you mean Pluto doesn't count as a planet?" I demanded.
"There was a decision by one of the 'Dane astronomical organisations -" Mickey explained.
"Well, if you want to tell thirteen yottagrams of fast-moving ice and rock that it isn't a planet, I wouldn't suggest standing in front of it while you do so. Well I guess he doesn't have any then. QED - if he did, we'd be missing a planet," I said confidently.
What I hadn't noticed was that the object of our conversation had walked up behind me. "Wrong!" was suddenly screamed almost into my ear. If I hadn't been desensitised to loud noises by the din from the stage, I would surely have been deafened.
Suddenly feeling a pressure behind my knees I collapsed into the chair that just appeared, followed by a too small desk, trapping me in the chair as the Professor walked out in front of us. Glancing to my side in the rapidly darkening room I noticed the ninja where also trapped, while Catty was setting up some sort of kludged together device that might once have been a projector.
Putting on a square academic cap such as seen on graduations the Professor tapped the blackboard that suddenly appeared behind him. "You are tracking the wrong variable, what you should analyze is the variance of the number of planets," he lectured while tapping the blackboard where a chibi-professor was gleefully building and destroying planets.
The three genin all looked at the animated chalk drawing with wide eyes. Handwavium was old news to them, but until you see the results of working with it raw, you don't appreciate just what a genius like the Professor can do with it. Lacus, for her part, looked troubled. I scratched my chin and opened my mouth to speak. A high velocity length of chalk clipped my ear and I took the hint, raising one hand to petition for the privilege of asking a question of the Professor. In the interval of his considering this important decision, the chalked professor had gotten busy inventing something on the projection screen and Catty had to bring her pointer down on Julie's desk to redirect her attention back to the Professor.
"So I should be looking for suspiciously new planets being discovered?" I asked once I had received his permission to do so. "Does that mean that you are making progress on the development of a Genesis Device?"
There was an intake of breath from several Trekkies and other Fens who were at least familiar enough with the film's to recognise the reference. That number included Lacus and Mickey, but Toby and Julie didn't seem to recognise it. Kids these days. No respect for the classics!
The Professor was the centre of attention as we all waited for an answer to this burning question. "No, I had almost built one but then I used parts of it for my Portable-Classroom. What use is the advancement of Science when we don't pass it on to the next generation!"
There was a rush of relief, and then some nervous looks at the projector. While the Mars Terraforming Project was still years (decades) from completion, the creation of an M-Class planet in a low orbit of Mars would probably not do anything to benefit the process.
Judging by the level of redness around the Professor's eyes and the relative lack of tension in the shoulders of his lovely assistants, I judged that he had probably had at least a little sleep in the last week. So I could play this safely, or...
"But in the absence of a ready means of replacing a planet, doesn't the fact that we're not facing a delpleted number of them indicate that my previous hypothesis was correct, Professor?" Heck with safe! "Or are you adhering to the Prime Time Directive?" This was a little obscure for the rest of the audience, so I expanded my query by quoting said Directive: "Put Things Back Where You Find Them'."
"Excellent question. Well without a ready means of replacing planets I wanted to further my research on the existing planets before even thinking about destroying them. Irresponsibility like that is what gives all scientist a bad name. Really how would we study Gas Giant weather patterns without a significant sample? But fear not I shall resume work on my Genesis Device shortly! For the POWER OF SCIENCE! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The Professor's laughter echoed across the Promenade like a mad thing. I had to confess that I was impressed. Challenge his other credentials as you will, there was no doubt that this was the Fen who had taken the victory in three successive Evil Overlord Laughter contests with his famous Mad Scientist style.
But then there was another voice to the laugh. In the blink of an eye I had freed myself and now I stood behind him, in full view of the four from Hidden Asteroid and added my Triumphant Cackling to the mix. "FAUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"FAUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
A desk went flying as Toby made his escape from it. He hesitated for a moment, before Lacus managed a strangled order. "Don't try it! Save yourself!"
He hesitated, torn between his orders and the ethos of the Hidden Asteroid: 'Ninja who abandon their teammates are lower than scum.'
"MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
"FAUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"D for Drakensis
You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.

[Kokuten]

I switched the pickup off of the mad cackling going on, and happened on a panel on 'weapons grade handwavium: Threat or Menace'. I kicked back, adjusted an air intake and fired up a smoke. Watching the pale blue plume bloom and flow into the intake, I patiently waited for the SOS-dan announcement.
Or a customer. Either way. Running a booth was a necessary evil, but maybe I could get Sparky to do it at the next 'con.

Ooc: Bump, For Great Justice!Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[KJ]

"Crap crap crap crap crap!" I growled to myself as I dove out the hole in the wall, brandishing the swords at any of the raving fangirls who got too close. This was, I admitted to myself, not a very good long-term strategy. Sooner or later one of them would notice that I was trying my damnedest not to seriously hurt any of them, and then they'd just all swarm me.
"FOR RUHODESU SAMA!" came a cry to my left, and I hurriedly parried the sparkly wand thingie with my wakizashi.
"Augh, damn you all... stop chasing me!" I yelled as I disengaged as fast as I could, pausing only to do a shoulder-roll as a trio of shuriken passed by. "For god's sake, I'm not even attracted to men!" I pounded down a different corner as fast as my feet would take me. Which wasn't fast enough for this to be a viable solution.
"Crap on a crutch... Dee!" She phased into view.
"Hai, bosslady... ooh, you got yourself in trouble this time!" The little hologram floated along with me but peered curiously over my shoulder.
"No kidding; find a place for me to hide... no wait, better yet, get ahold of B!" Another few random turns, and then another shout of discovery took place while I was waiting for her to pick up. More muttered expletives.
"Yeah, KJ? What's up?"
"One of the standard girltype Ranma tropes," I blurted out before having to pause and duck another thrown weapon, which gave a couple Senshi time to get within close combat range. I was too busy avoiding attacks to elaborate, but I could hear Dee and B conversing in the background.
"What's that mean, KJ?"
"Ah, he's busy, this is Dee. I think he means the bit where a gigantic horde of fangirls pursuing a bishounen who is hiding, come across him when he is talking to an attractive female who for one reason or another has no reason to be attracted to him. Nevertheless, they assume that she's a suitor and seek to attack and kill her to prevent the situation with the bishounen from being resolved."
"Whoa... it's kinda impressive you know him well enough to figure out what he means in such detail," B commented.
"Actually, I'm summing up the last 15 minutes."
"Heh. Hey wait, did you say rabid fangirls!?" I growled as I finally managed to make a hole in the group of Senshi and find another route to run away through.
"Yes," I replied, "and I don't have any non-lethal weaponry."
"I'll be right there!" B replied and signed off.
"Dee, do you have to be such a smartass?" I muttered.
"Yep. Oooh, might want to duck again." I did so and brought the katana up against the shaft of the naginata that passed through where my torso was, severing the head but leaving the wielder with a fairly serviceable staff.
"Figures." Damned AI, of course she had to think like me.

[Vangeek]

"No, no no! Dammit, you can't think of it like *that*!" I waved my arms in the air and cursed. Mal had shoved me in with a bunch of stormtroopers, and they had turned out to be a pretty friendly bunch. We'd set up camp at a bar, and true to form, I was in a vigorous debate with some guy over different philosophies about 'the Force'.
"Well, why not? You've got this sort of thing repeating all through history..."
"Bullshit. Bullshit." I slapped a hand on the table, my hair stirring somewhere above. "It's like air, you can't say it's good or bad...crap!" My cellphone went off. "Sorry, luv, lemme get this."
The 'trooper grinned and raised his pint. "I'm still right."
"No the bloody hell you are NOT...dammit!" The cellphone continued to ring and I grabbed it, glaring good-naturedly at the trooper. For a moment, there was only the sounds of cursing. Ah ha. "Yeah, KJ? What's up?"
"One of the standard girltype Ranma tropes." He spoke rapidly, and then was cut off to the sound of clashing. I blinked. Ranma? He must be in his girly form...I wasn't as familiar with the series, but obviously something of the 'sure we'll laugh about this years later' type was going on.
"What's that mean, KJ?"
"Ah, he's busy, this is Dee. I think he means the bit where a gigantic horde of fangirls pursuing a bishounen who is hiding, come across him when he is talking to an attractive female who for one reason or another has no reason to be attracted to him. Nevertheless, they assume that she's a suitor and seek to attack and kill her to prevent the situation with the bishounen from being resolved."
"Hey, onee-chan. Oh deary deary me." I waved off the 'trooper. "Sorry, this'll take a bit." I turned back to the cell and grinned. "Whoa... it's kinda impressive you know him well enough to figure out what he means in such detail."
"Actually, I'm summing up the last 15 minutes."
"Heh. Hey wait, did you say rabid fangirls!?" I bolted my chair away from the table with a screech loud enough to cause the other 'troopers to look up.
"Yes," KJ replied, coming back on the line and growling with frustration. "And I don't have any non-lethal weaponry."
"I'll be right there!" I replied and signed off, already moving towards the doorway. I waved to the 'troopers. "See ya later, thanks for the drinks!"
***
I probably shouldn't have been giggling as much as I was. Fangirls...gorramit. There was nothing I hated more then a bunch of ravenous, mindless amoratii, to use the Latin. KJ didn't carry non lethal weapons, but I usually did. I'm too
nice to get into serious fights, but I'm not stupid, and a solid *looking* Mace[tm] was usually enough to make people think twice. Of course, I did have the real one with me as well...
I shifted the weight around as I ran. Not the fastest, but I had sticking power. There was the real Mace on my back, the Poker and fake Mace on my belt, and the other thing tucked snugly next to the Mace on my back. If someone
thought I was overarmed, they obviously hadn't been to many cons. At least in my opinion.
"More then enough to deal with a horde...ah ha, what have we here?" As they say, to find something or someone, just follow the screams. There were a few straggling fangirls streaming into a slightly open area ahead. Hmmm.
"Hey, ladies!" I shouted and grinned, coming up behind them and drawing the Poker. They tried to turn as I hooked it around one of their knees and jerked, bring the three of them into a messy pile. This caused a loud wailing,
especially when I trod on them for good measure, seeking a round about way to get in front of KJ.
"That's not kawaiiiii!"
"Oh, shut up." A few extra trods and I was off.
I found a side passage, scrabbled up a low series of containers, and looked down. KJ was, to put it lightly, in a tight spot. Those girls looked especially pissed. "Bugger me...who the hell gave them those weapons? Hell on a *stick*, who the fuck tries to kill someone over...oh, bugger this." I drew the fake Mace and leaped down, grunting as I landed.
"Hey, kisama!" I addressed the mob, who backed off slightly in surprise. I'd knocked down a few of their number when I jumped, and KJ was grabbing a much deserved breather. "Ah ah ah." I darted forward and gave one girl a much deserved tap on the head with the fake Mace as she tried to get around me. "KJ, you holding up all right?"
"Been better." He grimaced when I looked over my shoulder. I grinned, maybe a little to widely.
"It's sweet, you bringing all these idiots...geez!" We both ducked as some ninja stars came whirring from one of the mob. "Fuck off, you lot, don't make me warn you again." I tossed the fake Mace to KJ. "Looks like the won't listen
to reason."
"They do that?" KJ snorted and grabbed it. "Thanks."
"No problem." The mob surged forward again, and this time I drew the Poker.
The metallic *zwing* was enough to give them pause. I gently removed my bandana, allowing the infamous white hair to gather their attention. "All right, ladies, now. You have to options. Leave my friend alone, or get in a fight you're not going to win."
KJ came up beside me, and I could tell he was probably eyeing my hair with vague interest as well. I didn't usually uncover it often, and it was just now weaving into a rigidly tight french braid. One of the girls sputtered something in Japanese. KJ responded, and then there was some more muttered cursing. Then he looked over at me.
"Umm, they're not buying it."
"Oh deary deary me." I smiled pleasantly, and leaped into the fray. There was a few minutes hard fighting, and then we both had to run for it. I gaped at KJ as we ran. "Gorram, what the hell?"
"Eh, the usual. They're mad over bishounen."
"Gods, *bishis*" I muttered to myself as we reached another clearing. "All right, I've had enough of this shit. Stand back." I stopped and pivoted on one heel, facing the horde of pursuing fangirls. In a motion I'd practiced quite a lot on the ship, I sheathed the Poker and drew the *other thing* from my back. KJ, who'd skidded to a stop, was trying his best to keep his face straight.
It was funny as hell the way the girls piled into each other as the first row came to a rigid halt. The first row was now staring down the barrel of my custom crafted Strohl BH-209I. I pulled the trigger ever so slightly, and the ominous hummmmm was enough to cause anyone in ear shot to freeze. Hot damn, I thought. This is what I live for.
"Now, ladies, we're all very tired from running, and I'm sure there's been some serious misunderstanding on your part in regards to the redhead's," I jerked a free thumb over my shoulder, "Intentions. Believe me, hshe isn't interested in your bloody bishounen." I shifted the weight of the Strohl, casually holding it in their direction with one hand. "How about y'all piss off now, eh?" There was some uneasy shuffling and murmuring. I tensed, pulling the trigger ever so slightly in and causing a slightly louder hummmm. The whispering grew more frantic.
KJ tapped me on the shoulder. "Is that your Strohl?"
"Why yes, of course it is. You know there's only one like it in this universe." I whispered back. It didn't seem to encourage him. He shrugged. Suddenly, one of the girls again called out something in Engrish, and we both groaned in unison.
"They're still not buying it."
"ShiiiiiiT!" I had to pull the Strohl up, hard, towards the ceiling as the girls once again surged forward. "Shit! Plug your ears!"
"What!?" KJ yelled back. I mentally groaned. I only had a few seconds to pull this off, I hadn't done it before, and the Strohl was of course just a very fancy 'waved knock off. This was going to suck, it might not work, and KJ well, he'd get over it.
I looked straight at the fangirls and drew a breath. "GO AWAY."
The fangirls stopped and did topple over one another. They then turned and began to walk, and in some cases bolt, as casually as possible, probably deciding that the pair of us really wasn't worth the trouble. I couldn't see him yet, but KJ was probably surprised.
There was a brief moment of very loud silence as the few people still around tried to figure out what they just heard. I simply holstered the Strohl again and pulled my bandana back over my hair, and the noises of the con quickly filtered back in.
"... what was that?" KJ asked after a while, picking up her swords from where she'd dropped them in her haste to cover her ears.
I shugged. Contrary to all expectations, it had worked. Well, of course it had worked, I thought, perhaps a little bitterly. I always felt bad after getting into a fight. Yeah, they were fangirls, but stillWell, this whole thing confirmed what'd been lingering in my head ever since the biomod, and it didn't look like the whole Susan deal was going to go away. If anything, it had gotten worse.
"What was what?" Now that the post-combat irritation was fading, I felt the pleased giddiness that came with knowing that hot damn, I actually *had it*.
"The... whatever you said to make them turn around and leave?" KJ sheathed her blades.
"I just told them to go away. What did you hear? I thought I said to plug your ears." I looked over at her, vaguely curious. Given how loud, or not loud, depending on how you viewed it, the words were, plugging one's ears might not work all that well. What had she heard?
"Well yeah... with my hobbies when someone says to plug your ears you damned well do so. Aaaand... you're not going to answer what the trick is, are you." She smiles slightly.
I smiled back, looking off into the distance. "You might not want me to." And no, I didn't really want people finding out. This kind of thing could be, well, dangerous. Not that I minded that much having it, but other people might
"Well, whatever you say. Argh, damn, what an irritating way to end a conversation... first the sub vs. dub argument, then getting chased around by mostly crazed senshi." At this point she was more griping to herself than anything, it looked like. "And people always think it might be neat to have women chasing you around but when you're one too and they're trying to kill you it really sucks... and I'm not much about the senshi anyway... Seems I owe you a drink or several." KJ broke into most of a grin and started walking in a seemingly random direction.
I chuckled at her. "Poor dear. How's about I buy you a drink? I know a place where most folks of my ken gather...or would you rather have a bottle of cold water?" I grinned and slid into a half jog to keep up. Damn these tall folk and their long legs.
KJ scoffed. "Ugh, water... water's for swimming or showering, not drinking. Lead on, m'lady."
I turned and strode down another pathway. "Good heavens, who said anything about drinking it?" I gave the tall redhead a wink. "Thought you might want to freshen up a bit."
"Oh, I think I'll pass. Cold showers are rather far from enjoyable."
I cackled a little. "Enh, fair enough then. C'mon, right in here." I stepped through the door of a slightly ramshackle building, something that looked old and had been there a while. "Mind yer head!" And it had been, technically speakingWatch-fen were great for playing with 'wavium sometimes.
KJ ducked under the doorway, probably being used to doing so in either gender.
The place was low and dark, probably only about 8 feet high. There was a scattered group of tables, a few people, a dart board, and a pool table. It doesn't look like much until you look behind the bar, which is *very* well stocked. I love the place. I waved in the general direction of the residents. "Here it is, the Gleaming Bucket. Oi all!" There were a few chuckles and a distant reply of "Oi, Susan!"
KJ looked around approvingly. "No bright colors... a proper pub, dammit." In her Hawaiian shirt, she was possibly the most colorful thing in the room, but no matter.
"No bright colours? Well, granted at the moment. But the Wizards haven't come back yet, or the place would be filled with more Pointy Hats and sequins then you'd be able to guess. " I giggled to myself. "They always dress up for the cons." I giggled some more at the look on KJ's face, as she blinked for a moment and then shook her head.
She sidled up to the bar and took a stool. "Pint of Guinness," she requested of the bartender. "And what do you want... Susan?" She added the emphasis on the last word with a slight grin.
I raised an eyebrow. "Har de har har. The only reason he said that is cause he thinks I can't see him thank you very much you *pozza*!" I shouted to the back of the bar. "But anyways, this is a proper pub. Any kind of drink in fen or 'danespace you can find here. I'll have an Irish carbomb." Mentally, I sighed. Things were bad enough in our little faction when the Watch found out about the hair, but once they found out what happened earlierugh. We're an easy bunch, but we're still fen.
KJ nodded to the barkeep. "What the lady said, please..." and shrugged at me. "Meh, I got ye stupid adventurous streak done a long time ago... otherwise I'd be half tempted to see if they knew a PPC."
I nodded. "Prolly. Don't know it myself, but." I grabbed a pint glass and quickly drained it, the shot glass in side clinking against my teeth. "Damme! That hit it...if the barkeep doesn't know it, someone here does. The Watch is usually a font of information like that."
"Well, ever hear of Battletech?" KJ leaned on the bar and nursed her Guinness
"Naw, not me. You can tell I'm more fantasy oriented." I waved in the general direction of my hair and took a seat.
"Granted. Well, American giant robot tactical wargame thingie... then a whole bunch of people did fiction writing in the universe it took place in. Whole mess of books. Anyway, PPC came from that, named after a fairly nasty particle cannon." There was a faint, fond gleam in her eye as she spoke.
I rolled mine. "Ah huh. Details?"
"Well, the specifics depend on what faction you order. Steiner uses peppermint schnapps, Kurita uses sake, Liao uses plum wine, Marik uses ouzo, Davion uses bourbon, or tequila if in the Capellan March. But it's two shots of that, plus 4 of everclear. It's one of those things that's up there in wisdom with the pan-galactic gargle blaster." Definite grin this time.
I flinched. There was a quiet sniggering from the barkeep at the mention of the Pan-Galatic. Oh gods. Coming up with dangerous drinks in a place like this was just asking for trouble, no doubt by tomorrow there'd be at least three hospitalizations. "Ah, yeah. Now that he's heard it, you can be sure barkeep here's going to remember it. Idly, don't ever ask for the Pan-Galatic Gargle Blaster. We suspect he's 'waved one of the drink mixers."
" 'Waved a drink mixer"
"Yeah. Y'see, in the universe we occupy it's not technically possible to make some drinks made famous by their literary origins." There was a polite snort from my companion. "So the barkeep there" I pointed to where he'd drifted to the storeroom. "him, he decides to make a special mixer, coats it with handwavium, and next thing y'know he's making money hand over fist and has created the first real PGGB."
KJ took a pull from her Guinness. "Nah, like I said, I'm no longer young and stupid."
I giggled. "Well, what do you want to do now, aside from hanging here and drinking? I think those fangirls have given up on you."
"I dunno, maybe we should go back and I could get a grenade launcher with riot baton loads, just in case..." she replied with a grin. I'm pretty sure she wasn't being serious
"Oh, that sounds lovely. Can I help?" I grinned back.
"Joking, joking... besides, I don't have any riot loads." She just gave me an amused look.
"Heh. Well, if there's a way to figure out how to get it to fire fluffy pillows at a reasonable turn of speed..."
KJ finished her Guinness in one long pull and sighed with pleasure. "Well... night is yet young; wanna go see if we can find some more trouble?"
I thought carefully for a minute. "Well, yeah, obviously. You don't want to, ah" I hesitated briefly and blushed. Probably inserting foot in mouth here. KJ looked at me askance, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah?"
"Well, change?" KJ looked down at herself as I spoke. I have to admit, even though I had seen her like this before, enough so that I was getting used to using the female words, it was stillweird. I dunno, it was silly anyways.
She spoke casually. "You get used to it, and I can't really turn back for a while. Well, I could but I'm not going to."
"Oh, sorry."
"Nothing like that. But how much would you imagine in hurts to have your anatomy shift around that much? Well, it actually doesn't... once a day." KJ grimaced, and I winced, nodding in sympathy.
"Yeah, that would suck. Anyways, I heard the some Space Pirates just came in. Wanna go check it out?" I slapped some change on the bar, KJ doing the same. She grinned.
"Hey, that sounds like fun."
"Yeah.oh! One more thing." I pointed behind us as we left the building. "This place is kind of a local watering hole for the Watch. We don't mind visitors, butwell, there's other bars, and we sometimes like to be just alone amongst ourselves. The place moves a lot, has a lot of different names, but if you're in the know it's not too hard to find."
"How's that?" KJ briefly looked over her shoulder in interest. "That place looks like it's been there forevernot that that actually means anything."
I chuckled. "You're right. The whole building's been 'waved. I don't know how, but once he chases everyone out, the barkeep hits a button on the outside, the thing folds up a little, and next thing y'know, it's a old wooden trailer hooked up to a pickup."
"Must've been a hell of a 'wave job." KJ looked impressed.
"Oh yeah. Everytime the name changes the building comes out looking a little different." I shrugged and shifted towards the general direction of the docking area. "C'mon, let's find some pirates."
"Yarrrr."

[Kokuten]

I switched away from the panel, which had degraded into shouting and thrown insults, and caught a redheaded samurai strutting towards a dive bar. I thought it was KJ, who had been quite polite about asking me to make sure V was _manned_ when I raced her, but couldn't jockey a camdrone around in time to catch him as he disappeared into the bar.
Given that the camdrones didn't want to go inside it at all, it pretty much had to be the Gleaming Bucket. Nice bar, but I wasn't here for the drinking.
I was away from the camfeed for a few minutes, dealing with a young man ordering another gross of 4x8s for the Professor. So far, that man was a fairly large customer, and he was only one guy. Whatever 'mad science' biomod he had, I was very glad I didn't share it. Order completed, I bounced it to V for secure storage and went back to my camfeed. It wasn't on the Agenda at all, but I was sure there was going to be an announcement by the SOS-dan, and I was curious. Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[Feinan]

...or "Free soap! For the entire Con!"
I leaned back in my seat, and smiled. Fred had gone on ahead two days ago, to settle in before the con. He needed the extra time to get used to the people and his new biomod. I'd meet up with him again there. I listened with half an ear as Fate made the arrangements for our arrival on Phobos. With something the size of the Lightning, we didn't fit into most spaces set up for the usual Fen vehicles. Sounded like we were going to be in a parking orbit, and go in via the shuttle. I was looking forward to getting down there; I needed to do a lot of shopping. I was getting tired of wearing belted t-shirts for clothing...and while I'd managed to arrange for something else, there were...drawbacks. I glanced down at what I was wearing, and grimaced.
***flashback***
I shivered as I pulled the sopping-wet white t-shirt on over my head. "Gah.....I HATE wet clothing." Currently, I was wearing a pair of jean-shorts tied with a piece of rope to keep them up around my waist, and the t-shirt. Both pieces of clothing were wet - having been soaked in liquid handwavium. I didn't know if this would work or not...but it was the fastest way I could think of that might give me something my size. If only it didn't mean wet fabric against bare skin...including the family jewels. No matter how this came out, I didn't see it working to make a wearable pair of briefs...which meant I was currently going commando. Bleah.
I wandered around the lab a bit, letting the fabric slowly dry. Clotho chuckled softly. "You could've let the stuff cure without wearing it, Kev." I sighed, and nodded. "I know. But actually wearing the stuff has the best chance of getting something my current size. At least, with luck. Gods only know what would happen if I just let it sit around to cure." I snorted. "Of course, gods only know what'll happen WITH wearing it."
After maybe fifteen minutes of puttering around, I shivered as I felt the fabric start to...move. Over the course of another twenty minutes or so, I watched...and shivered....as the sleeves on my shirt stretched down to my wrists, and the fabric thickened as the shirt grew smaller. The sensation of the bottoms of my jean-shorts stretching down along my bare legs made me want to shudder as well. Talk about your skin wanting to creep. What I finally wound up with was a long-sleeved shirt that felt more like terrycloth than the thin t-shirt I started with, and a pair of jeans. Glancing back, I even saw a tailhole. Nice. Then I frowned. The shirt looked...jaundiced? It was slowly going yellow...and the jeans were going...green. I watched as the fabric slowly shifted in color...going an all-too-familiar shade. Before too much longer, I looked like the most ardent Chudley Cannons fan in existence. I groaned. "OK....have you girls been playing my Dragonball tapes near the handwavium? I swear, it's obsessing more on the show than I do, and that's saying something..."
Clotho snickered, "Not me, Kev. Don't know about the others, but I don't think so. Maybe it just likes orange?" I snorted. "Yeahsureyoubetcha." Then I sighed. "At least they mostly fit....and beggars can't be choosers." I looked down at my jeans. "Still...orange denim?"
***end flashback***
I shook my head. Orange....while I liked both Goku and Naruto, it simply wasn't my color. Blues, greens, burgundy....but not orange. I was definitely looking forward to clothes shopping for once. The 'belt' of brown fur against the bright color made me smile, though - even if I would have to do a bit of tailoring to arrange for tailholes. I'd FINALLY managed to learn the trick of wrapping my tail around my waist. I sent up a mental apology to the spirit of Son Goku, wherever he might reside - I'd always been amused by his reactions to having his tail squeezed. It was something else entirely when it was MY tail. The first time I'd plopped into a chair and landed on it....AIE! It had made figuring out this particular little trick go to the head of the list of things to do.
Fate ended her conversation. "All right, Kevin. I've got us a parking orbit. Have you got everything you want packed aboard Merlin?" I nodded, grinning. "Not like I have clothes to take. Got the con table packed in the trunk, and the spacesuit along, just in case. Plus rope to tie it up, since otherwise I'd look like a kid raiding his dad's closet." She chuckled quietly. "True enough. The parking spot in question is pressurized, so you won't need it when you get there."
"That's good. Have you and the other ladies got the drones aboard?"
"All aboard, along with the usual Con gear. Everything's been tested and checked OK, so we're good to go."
I nodded, grinning. "Let's get this show on the road, then."
---------------------------------------------------
Sumpter trailed along behind me, serving as a cart for the various things we'd need at Con. A cloud of toys floated around and behind me - small race cars, a wooden toy locomotive, a few boats, some larger RC cars...some of them being ridden by small Robosapiens dolls. "OK....you girls spread out and map out things again. If you find anything interesting, let me know. And don't forget to set the cams up in the panel rooms. I don't want to miss anything." A chuckle came from one of the cars, the Irish lilt identifying Lachesis. "We know the drill, lad. Don't worry about it." I chuckled wryly. "Sorry.... you know me." I shrugged, starting through the lock that separated the parking from the main section. As we got inside, I took a step forward...and then barely managed not to stagger backwards, reaching out to grip the edge of the doorframe.
"GAH!" I shuddered, breathing in shallow pants.
"Father?" Atropos' voice came from another car. "What's the matter? Are you OK?"
I waved a hand, still trying to get used to.... "Smells. Too many....gah." I shook my head. "Wish....I'd become Kuririn now, I think. No nose...would be a good thing...."
That got a small giggle from Clotho. "No nose....but how would you smell?"
I gave the boat a mock-glare. "Awful. No...Foglio jokes." I was slowly becoming used to the olfactory assault, but... "Gods....girls? Imagine someone taking all of Beethoven's symphonies, and playing them at full volume. All in the same room." I shuddered. "Nothing hugely bad...just...overwhelming." Atropos snorted. "Sounds wonderful. You feeling any better?" I nodded slowly, starting to be able to take deeper breaths without being overpowered. "Some....this is gonna take getting used to. Don't know how dogs do it..." Another snort from Atropos. "They grow up with it. You've had it for less than two weeks. Give yourself time."
I sighed, nodding. "I know, I know. Just a shock. Should've expected it, but...." I shrugged. "Oh well. Let's go get the table set up in our spot, then we can drop the rest of the stuff off at the hotel." I grinned. "Then....clothing. Non-orange clothing." The girls chuckled, and we headed into the con. Fortunately, my sense of smell was apparently dulling as we went along, in self-defense. I was willing to bet I'd have to get used to things all over again, every time I was away from the main areas, but....at least I'd be able to function. Hitting the dealers' area, the small table we used at Con was up. There were a few books with the standard types of mods that I did, along with pictures on display and my rates for commission works posted. The large Robosapiens we brought with us was left to handle the table under the gimlet eye of Lachesis, while most of the cloud of toy drones started to scatter through the con. That left me with a few small racing cars riding shotgun near my shoulders...and one robot bird perching ON my shoulder. "Should I have brought an eyepatch? Or maybe a cyber eyepiece? We could've done the Planet Pirate from the Key to Time arc...." Fate's chuckle sang out from the bird. "You're a bit small for that role. Now, BEFORE the biomod, we should've considered it." I laughed, and nodded. "C'mon. Let's get the rest of the gear stashed. I am VERY desperate for new clothes. Especially briefs." That got giggles from the peanut gallery, and we headed out into the crowds.
----------------------------------------------
Julia Ecklar seemed awfully appropriate for this one, somehow. www.ovff.org/pegasus/songs/asteroid-rest-stop.html
And yes, it's a bit late in coming. It took me a while to break a bit of a block on this one. This is actually the start of the con, time-wise.

[Kokuten]

OOC:I'm going to subvert the spacetime continum and jump in at the beginning of con with a short bit - since there's no announcement yet.
I pulled into the parking area for the 'Con in a pissy mood. I wasn't that fond of crowds to begin with, and the biomod seemed to have affected that even more. I unhitched the dinky trailer we'd setup as a booth, and V sighed happily.
"I am NOT a draft horse, you know." She grumped in my earbug. "I think it's undignified, and I shouldn't have to put-"
"You didn't have to come, you know. Millie could have came to 'Con and left you back at Hephaestus playing taxi." I let the silence hang as I pulled my backpack out of the passenger seat and strapped it on. Checking to make sure nothing was left behind, I shut the door and patted V on her fender. "Actually, I think Millie would have been a bit of a bore here, I'm glad you did come"
V hunkered down on her suspension, deep in thought, as I drug the cart-trailer off to setup a sales booth. I saw a familiar Toyota angling in for a landing back across the parking lot. I waited for it to land, but an unfamiliar figure got out. Must not have been The Jason..
I turned back towards the Main Hall to setup my booth.
Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979Wire Geek - Burning the weak and trampling the dead since 1979

[Feinan]

It had been a busy day so far. I'd done my best hurricane impression at several clothing vendors, picking up a new wardrobe for myself. I even had new boots and running shoes, instead of the improvised flip-flops I'd been wearing earlier. Sadly, I was still in orange; I'd arranged for them to put tail holes into my pants, but that meant they'd be delivering things to my hotel later in the day. That left me stuck with orange for now, but at least I could look forward to other colors tomorrow.
I'd also managed to replace my lab coat in my new size. It wasn't quite as elaborate as my old one, but I'd managed to get 'The Jason' airbrushed across the back (along with some blooming rose vines twining around the letters) and EACHES stenciled on the front pocket, so I was happy. I was wearing that now over the orange stuff, my tail threaded out a newly-made hole in the back. I wandered through the Con, taking in the sights. It had been a long time since I'd had so much ENERGY at a convention, and I was enjoying every minute of it. I was also highly amused by some of the looks I was getting. I'm not sure if it was just the orange clothing and the monkey tail, or if they were having trouble parsing the idea of a Saiyajin mad scientist. I tilted my head, catching the faint sounds of mad laughter off in the distance, and arched an eyebrow. OK....that sounds like something to check out. Grinning, I headed off in the direction of the laughter.

I paused at the edge of the crowd. I recognized the Professor, of course. I'd dealt with him in the past. The other guy....Morden, I think his name was? They were laughing away, and the crowd was clearly getting nervous. I noticed a couple ninja trapped at school desks - dear gods, what had the Professor been up to this time? - and one that was free. The poor kid looked distressed, so I edged over to him, and tapped him on the back. Then took a step back as he whirled around. Jeez...jumpy ninja. He blinked, seeing me, and I grinned at him. "Heya, kid. Need some help?" I glanced over at the other ninja, then back to him. "Your teammates? And what's your name?"
He hesitated for a moment, then nodded, "Yeah...and I'm Toby."
I gave him a smile. "Good to meet you, Toby. I'm Kevin, some folks call me the Jason. I'll go distract the laughing boys. You free your teammates while I do, OK? We can chat a bit later maybe, after you get them out."
He gave me an absolutely grateful smile, and nodded again. "Thanks!"
I waved a hand. "No problem...." I started back around the crowd, so that I could come at the Professor from a direction that would put his back to the other ninja. I had an idea for a distraction that should be ideal. Time to laugh while I can....or should I call it putting a monkeywrench into the works? I snickered, then took a couple deep breaths. OK. My vocal range was a child's treble now, so I couldn't do my normal mad laugh. But if I went falsetto, I thought I could pull off a laugh in another Mad Scientist's style. Well...botanist, at any rate. Absolutely everybody agreed she was mad, though. Stepping towards the laughing duo, I tightened my diaphragm...and let loose a pealing "OHHHHHHH-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooo!" It rang out over the deeper men's laughter, an assault on the ears by anyone's definition.
-------------------------
*grin* Sorry. Couldn't resist. Besides, we both have a thing for roses.

[Black Aeronaut]

Collaborative work between M Fnord and myself. Enjoy.

---

I felt kinda bad about it, but if I didn't get out of there fast then I would get pulled to pieces by about a hundred crazed Fen-girls. That's the thing about these girls - they come after you en masse, but the instant you come onto one of them you're a pervert. Looking around, I found the entrance to the kitchen and made a dive for it, confusing the hell out of the wait staff. It wouldn't be long until that confusion shifted to unreasoning desire so I started looking for an exit.
"Back door back door back door there's gotta be a back door to this place!" I muttered inanely.
"This way," said a voice as a hand caught a firm grip on my left wrist. For a moment I was startled and then saw that it was the Tuxedo Kamen Barkeep. The Sailor Senshi staff parted way for the Barkeep like the Red Sea for Moses as he led me to the back door.
"Thanks a bunch," I said fervently to the Barkeep.
"Don't worry about it. I've been in your shoes before. Now get going. The sooner they realize you're gone, the less property damage they'll do."
"Are you insured?" I asked.
"Yeah, and this wouldn't be the first time it's happened either."
Inwardly, I winced at thinking of what his premiums must be like. "Thanks again, sir," I said, giving him a jaunty salute with my right hand as I went through the back door. After the door shut behind me, I could still hear all the femme-fens in the distance. Hopefully, security would bring things under control soon enough and I could venture out of this alleyway. Or I could just move through the alleys.
Just as I was beginning to catch my breath a hand came out of nowhere and grabbed my right arm. "Aha!" a very loud and very female voice cried out. "I knew you'd show yourself sooner or later!"
Oh hell, I thought. I tried to twist my way out the femmefan's grasp. Unfortunately, The Arm With A Mind Of It's Own had other ideas. Using my moment of panic and sensing a female was touching it, it suddenly reacts and glomps the girl's... Uhm...
"GAH!!!" we both scream at once.
"BAD HAND! BAD HAND! NO NO NO!" I yell at the lecherous arm as I force it to let go.
"HENTAI YAROU!" screams the girl once she is free and I suddenly duck a fist from her.
"Oh shit," I mutter as I duck and dodge more attacks. "Look, lady, I'm sorry!" Dodge! "My biomod-" Sidestep! "-has a mind of it's own-" Duck! "-and it has a thing for cute girls!" Contact.
Kerpow!
Ouch. That girl has one hell of an uppercut, I reflect from down on the ground.
The girl then stood over me and said, "And why should I believe any of that?"
As I sat up, my right arm suddenly lunged for her once more. Jeeze, this thing was such a pain. "Okay, that does it. You're grounded!" Some people have noticed that I wear an unusually utilitarian belt and a restraining cuff on my right arm. There was a reason for this, of course. I grabbed the clip that was hanging off the cuff and clipped it to the belt. My arm made several frenzied movements as it tried to break free, but it was no use. The hand lacked the dexterity to undo the clip. Once it figured this out, it sagged in defeat.
"That's why," I said pointedly to the girl. "Hello, my name is Benjamin Rhodes, and this is my lecherous right arm that is actually a lot more useful than it looks. And you would be?"
She then gave me a predatory smile. I did not like that smile. It told me to run, run if you want, but it's too late. "I'm Haruhi Suzumiya," she said, "and you've just been drafted. Welcome to the SOS-dan!"
I raised an eyebrow at this. "You're the SOS-dan? Okay, first off, nobody drafts me. They hire me. Second, what's the Convention call for, anyways? Your letter could have been a bit more well worded."
Her eyebrow started to twitch. Apparently mentioning the letter was the wrong thing to say. Whoops. She grabbed my shirt and hauled me up to a sitting position. "Listen, you," she growled, "I put out a call for heroes to band together and save the galaxy, *not* for you to criticize my writing. And when I say you're drafted, you. Are. Drafted." She gave my shirt a little extra shake for emphasis.
I blinked. "Wait, what? Save the galaxy?"
"From the raiders, you idiot!"
I was getting even more confused. "The raiders are threatening the galaxy?"
"Not yet! But they *could,* and that's the important thing!"
"Wait, hold on. You're telling me that the raiders could be a threat to the galaxy, and that wee need to fight them. I've got that part. But why are you manhandling *me?*"
"Because if we're going to fight the raiders we need a fleet, and if we have a fleet we'll need pilots, and if we have pilots we need a dashing - if lecherous - bishounen leading the pack." She said that with such absoulte authority and in such a reasonable tone that I didn't have an immediate comeback.
"Okay, lemme recap here. You feel that the Raiders are going to become a threat to the Galaxy in general if we don't do something about them and you want me to be Pilot?"
"Isn't that what I just said!?" she yelled in my face.
"Easy there. Just making sure I got it right." she finally decided to let me go at that point. "Now, I got one question for you. Have you given any thought whatsoever about what sort of ship's you're going to be using? Because I've got the greatest idea in mind."
"What are you talking about?"
"Hang on a second," I said as I began to dig through the inside-pocket of my jacket, pulled out a photo, and handed it to Haruhi. It depicted as sharp, sleek, black form, like as if someone made an aircraft in the likeness of a cobra only with a sharp nose, delta wings, and a pair of huge engines. It screamed the word 'FAST' and was flying over a picturesque desert mountain range.
"Very impressive," she said, unimpressed.
"The SR-71 Blackbird," I said. "Fastest Mundane airplane ever built. And if I'm gonna be your bishounen ace pilot, I've got to be flying something that fits my image, right?"
Haruhi gave me a skeptical look. "Are you trying to blackmail me?"
I shrugged. "Think of it as a contract negotation. If you can help me get one of these-" I tapped the photo "-then I'll be your ace pilot. Otherwise, no deal."
Haruhi looked at the photo, looked at me, looked back at the photo. For a long moment I almost thought she'd slug me again and walk off. "Fine," she snapped. "We'll do this your way." She looked over he shoulder. "KYON!"
A man stepped out from behind the bar's dumpster. He looked sort of like Philip Marlowe, only younger and Japanese. "What have you done now?" he asked.
"Kyon, this is Ben Rhodes," Haruhi replied, magnificently ignoring his question. "He's just joined up as our Ace Pilot." She thrust the photo towards Kyon. "He's going to need one of these as his ship. Get one."
Kyon took one look at the photo, and then he looked at me. All I could do was look back. "Um, this could be difficult," he said.
"Do I look like I care?" Haruhi demanded. "Just get it! The future of the SOS-dan and civilization itself depend on it!" Kyon just sighed at this. Obviously he was an old Haruhi hand.
"Allright, allright. I'll get right on it."
Poor guy, I thought to myself. Honestly hate to be in his shoes. Right then, I resolved that if there was one thing I wasn't gonna do, it was be intimidated by this young lady. Though I did have to admit, she was kinda cute despite being a girl who-
That thought was cut short as my right arm reacted to the 'cute girl' thought, straining wildly at the restraints.
"No!" I snapped at my arm. "You did wrong and now you're gonna stay like that for a while!" It slumped once again in disappointment. I looked back to Haruhi, who was eyeing me cautiously.
I shrugged. "Don't blame me, it was The Professor's handiwork. Anyhow, you got me now, but I'll need a few months to work on the Blackbird. I'm going to be having The Professor help me out, maybe one or two others for smaller things. Who will I be reporting to and what will the chain of command be like?" I had to get this information. If I was gonna do this, then I was not gonna let it be some half-assed effort on my part. I was gonna make sure that I was ahead of the game.
"You'll find out at the opening session tomorrow," she said, then turned away. "C'mon, Kyon. We've got more recruits to pick up." Haruhi strode off down the alleyway, adjutant in tow, and vanished into the crowd of fen on the main avenue.
So much for being ahead of the game.
With a sigh I got moving. It sounded like things had settled down at the Tipsy Senshi, so maybe if I was careful and inobtrusive I'd go unnoticed. I dispelled my two remaining shell-bullet spikes on my back, getting a little pick-me-up from the energy I'd reclaimed, and began to make my way to the hotel.
Along the way I stopped at Fred Galagher's stall and picked up a 'Ninj4' hoodie, so I actually managed to get to the Hotel without incident. I wonder why I never thought of it before. Besides, I always liked Fred's work and he thought it was cool to hear that from a BNF like me. I then told him that if he ever needed a ride than it would be on me, so long as he kept doing what he was doing and left him my card.
Once I was at the hotel, I sat down at the complimentary rental laptop I'd ordered and opened a link to Gina.
"Hey there, Bj," said the read headed AI as her window popped up. She then smiled mischievously. "Heard you got some action."
"Ugh, don't remind me."
"Oh, get real. It couldn't have been that bad you whiney baby"
I gave her a level look. "My guess was that there must have been about a hundred and fifty of them."
Gina blinked at that. "Okay, that's a new record. Any other news? Love the hoodie, by the way."
"Thanks. Uhm, well, you remember the SOS-dan, right? Well, their leader decided to draft me for the cause in person. Good news is that I managed to get a Blackbird outta her."
"WHOAH!" she screamed, leaning back from the 'camera'. Suddenly she leaned back forward close enough so I could see the details of her blue-eyes. "You got a Blackbird outta her!? When's it getting here!?"
"Hold on, there's bad news, too. I think I'm gonna be her beck-and-call boy for a while."
"WHAT!" she said, her face a 1000 watt glare all the sudden. "Benjamin, you dumkopf! How could you do something so idiotic!"
"Hey, like as if I had a choice," I said defensively. "It was like facing a press gang!"
"Ugh, Benjamin! You gotta stop being so weak around all those other females," she said, spitting the word 'females' out like it was something vile.
"This coming from someone who is a female herself?" I said teasingly. "Is it just me or are you getting all protective over me?"
Gina's face turned red to match her hair. "Only to make sure that I get to stick around!" she snapped. She then went on with an upturned nose, "You made me and that's all the feelings I have for you."
"Good," I said with a grin. "Then you're one less female I have to worry about."
She suddenly glared at me and bit off something in rude German, then cut the connection. I chortled merrily at that. She'll come back online in a few minutes, ready to talk. When she does, I'll have her get in touch with The Professor, The Jason, The Rockhounds, and Wire Geek. If I was gonna be taking delivery of the Blackbird, then that meant I wouldn't have to blow the money I'd been saving on NASA's 'Bird. That meant I'd have money to blow on more useful things, like a base of operations and power-toys for the Blackbird.
Oh yeah, this was gonna be good.

---

Black Aeronaut Technologies Group
Aerospace Solutions for the discerning spacer
"But first, let's test it on the penguin."
"Meep?" O.o

---

[drakensis]

Apparently three mad laughters in a confined space were something of a threshold. The ConventionAL security (no, that's not a typo, they're security at a Convention and they all wear name plates saying 'AL') were sufficiently weirded out not to bother us, but this only meant that we were left to the freelance displosers of justice and harmony.
"Conventions are places of joy and happiness!" shouted the jackbooted enforcer of Senshi ideals leading the posse. "People come here to indulge their beloved fandoms - not to be traumatised by your evil schemes and horrid laughter!"
Despite our impassioned defenses ("Laughing like this is part of our fandom!" "Help, help, I'm being oppressed!" "Hey, look, it's a tentacle monster over on the other side of the room!") we were defeated, which just goes to show that you should never underestimate the power of a girl in a modified fuku.
Somewhat weary of all these high pressure concerns, I wandered off to one of the video rooms and sprawled out in front of a projection screen that was showing the Asterix movies (What, you thought that fendom was an english speaking phenomonen? Granted, the French are a minority, but aren't we all?).
Zwilnicks running Thionite from Venus to Earth. Boskonians pirating ships around the Belt. A semi-coherent bunch of Fen trying to create the W.D.F. to go out and smite evil... Where was Fendom going and why did our mode of travel involve a handbasket? I had almost managed to put these thing out of my mind in favour of watching some good old-fashioned Roman bashing when a giant Russian emerged from under my chair, grabbed me in a bear-hug and declared me his eternal rival.
"...did you say something, Maitovich?"
He almost burst into tears. "Such a hip response! It is no wonder -"
His next words were lost in a torrent of French as we both got bawled out for blocking the view of the screen. Somewhat chastened, the Karasukage sat in the aisle and let me reclaim my own seat. "We are under attack, Asuma-kun," he said as quietly as he could manage (which was pretty quietly actually, and between that and the french verbiage from the speakers he was being rather discreet for him). "Certain of our Little Sisters are missing. Too many for it to be merely coincidence. There can be no doubt that we are on the brink of a Great Shinobi War."
Eek. War in Fenspace? A little policing beatdowns on Boskonians and Zwilniks was one thing, but an outright war was very bad. And if the Hidden Asteroid were gearing up then I was the obvious go-to-guy for more spaceframes. What worried me was the idea of escalating. An arms race of this nature wouldn't just spread the war, it would have a huge economic impact and as you can imagine I'm sensitive to these things.
"Alright Maitovich. What do you want?"
D for Drakensis

You're only young once, but immaturity is forever.