[Really, seriously Infinities] Fenspace Infinite: The Multiverse Is Calling

[Rajvik]

ooh, can we have Terminator 2 have the orriginal "HAPPY" ending
 

[Dakota]

The Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything. and it's answer of 42 have found to be rare in the multi-verse. In those worlds where the books where even written. Much less have the question as part of them. The local answer is usually a random two digit number. Thus this has resulted in it's use as a common sign and counter sign by Fen traveling between worlds.
"What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?"
"42"
"Lost" "The Lost" "Timelost" "Planeswalkers" or "World Wanders" are fen that through one
reason or another have become lost in the multi-verse. Most of the
early ones are believe to be the result of accidental slider device
creation. Most of the later "Lost" are usually result of slider groups
running afoul of something.
_______________________________________________________________
Characters
Sabre Fang
Dakota

[robkelk]

"So long and thanks for all the fish."

"42."

"Who came up with that challenge and response, anyway?"

"Somebody in C-Sec, I think. Helen Anderson, Agent 2nd Class."

"Ramona Jackson, Research & Development Specialist 2nd Class. And since you're probably wondering, 'What's an R&D geek doing in the field?', it's because there's too much interesting tech on this world mixed in with even more tech we've seen before, and they need an expert on site to figure out which is which."

Helen nodded. "And my father says you're one of the better people at that job."

"You're that Helen Anderson? Wow. I never expected to meet royalty out here."

"I'm not royalty - I'm an agent just like any other."

"Who works with the best Special Circumstances team still in the field. You're royalty."

"Fine. Whatever. Your tweet said you had some tech that I might be able to use to rescue that SC team ..."

Ramona walked through the doorway at the back of the office, gesturing to Helen to follow her. "Mind your step, and mind your head. And don't scuff my baby."

That last stopped Helen from leaning against a landing strut. She looked up, stepped back and looked again, and whistled. "That's an Arrow."

"Serial number CF-193, military surplus on this world. I bought it for 'scrap'" - Helen could hear the quotation marks - "and have been restoring it ever since. I know you SC types love your saucers, but I think I can out-race you in this."

"Good luck landing it as many places as a saucer, though."

"You've got me there. This is what I wanted to show you." Ramona picked up a wristwatch from her workbench. "Glow-in-the-dark numbers that aren't radioactive. The outer rim has a sharpened insert, and if you pull the stem all the way out, it spins fast enough to cut through quarter-inch plywood in five seconds." Picking up a different watch, she continued, "And this one has a launcher that holds two poison-tipped darts."

"This stuff's straight out of a Derek Flint movie ..."

"Isn't it, though? Although they call them 'James Bond' movies here."

Helen thought for a moment. "Meh. Not as good a name. I'll take the buzzsaw watch. Got anything else?"

--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[M Fnord]

Sunnydale, California
Arrival + 3 hours

"Honey?"

"Mm?"

"I think we may have made a tactical error."

"Huh? Are the wards okay?"

"The wards are fine. I was just thinking... we sent Helen back to go get help, even if ConCom writes us off."

"Yeah, okay, and?"

"Well... it's Helen. I know she's a good kid but she's got that patrician thing going, you know, she's not being mean but she can't help but mention her money or her father all the damn time. A lot of people in the Con kinda resent that a little. I told her to raise an army and she might not be able to find a single person to help."

"Huh. Well, it's out of our hands now, so I suppose we shouldn't waste time worrying about it." Mal cracked a small smile. "Besides, look at it as a graduation exercise. If Helen manages to use all the resources available to her and rescue us, she's earned her atom."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. Hopefully she can move quick, I don't want to be on the same planet as Mount Satantoa for any longer than I have to be. G'night."

"G'night."

(I'm so, so sorry. Helen's Richie Rich thing just amuses the hell out of me.)
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"

[robkelk]

(Yeah. She's trying hard to be "just folks", but... born to riches.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[robkelk]

Rajvik, I got your PM, but haven't had a chance to do anything with it today. Fingers crossed, I may reply tomorrow... but more likely Thursday.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Rajvik]

not a prob rob, like i said, as you can
 

[robkelk]

Having seen only the original post in the thread (because that's all that exists so far), I'm sure that this is relevant here somehow.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Dakota]

robkelk wrote:

---

Having seen only the original post in the thread (because that's all that exists so far), I'm sure that this is relevant here somehow.

"No, on second thought, let's not go there. 'Tis a silly place." :p
_______________________________________________________________
Characters
Sabre Fang
Dakota

[robkelk]

Meta: What do folks think of this as a saucer model? It isn't a 50's saucer, but it's definitely got the Rule of Cool going for it...
http://www.sharecg.com/v/70485/view/5/3 ... X-17-Viper
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Rajvik]

James stood up as Helen Anderson walked into the conference room. "Miss Anderson," he said at the surprised 2nd class, "I'm James Bostwick, leader of the Grey Wolves recon and recovery team. We've been assigned to support you on the recovery mission for the Fnords."
Helen looked up at James - he was only two inches taller than she was, but that was enough, especially with his muscles. She almost smiled at a few thoughts that ran through her mind - but she was on duty. "I'm very happy to meet you, Mr. Bostwick. Obviously, you already know who I am. I understand you build teams depending on the mission; who did you recruit for this one?"
"I have assembled a four person team counting myself but not you, leaving our now usual fifth slot for you. Scrounger, coms, medic, and tactical, we have two people covering each slot and we all double up on weapons and operations and I handle any demolition needs."
"I'm more a social specialist than a combat specialist. I don't know whether I can fit into this group..."
"I understand," James interrupted holding up a hand. "I don't want to have to make a fight of it either, but if we need to, we need to be ready for it. That said, a social specialist is exactly what we need, leave the combat to the rest of the team and the Fnords. If we have to make a fight of it, just be sure to keep your head down and move when we tell you to."
James smiled at her, "Well, let's meet the team and get over to general transport. Blessedly your readings before your ship was shot up will allow us to sidestep from one of our home bases instead of having to take a ship down.
"Good. I think. The locals won't see us coming, but we're going to have to carry everything in instead of having a cache on a saucer. I'll get some gems and old coins before we leave, so we have something to trade for spending money. Maybe I can make the scroungers' lives easier."
The team that James led Helen to was cut from a similar cloth as its leader, two women a blonde that matched James for height, and an Asian who was Helen's height, as well as a scruffy Hispanic looking man who was actually shorter than Helen. "Miss Anderson, meet our team for this mission, Tara Wa" he continued indicating the Asian woman "is our primary communications tech and our back up medic. Gurtrude Weiss" he gestured at the blonde, "primary scrounger and backup tactical. Ryan Casta," his hand moved to the other man in the group, "primary medic and back up scrounger. I have primary on tactical as the team leader and backup on communications. Team, this is Miss Helen Anderson, she's going to be our social specialist on this op. Now, command is hers when dealing with the locals in non-violent ways, we're her protection in other words. When we find and catch up with the Fnords they call the shots, until then, she's in charge unless all hell breaks loose, in which case I'm running the show. Any questions?"
After a moment, Helen smiled. "I hope that means you've already read my report. We have no support from HQ, and no forward base - anything we don't take in the first sidestep, we have to find or do without. Now, I don't have a lot of command experience, so if I ask you to do something that'll get any of us killed, tell me I'm being an idiot. If you need that to be an order, then that's an order." Helen looked at James, who nodded. "I'm counting on all of you to keep me in line as much as I'm counting on everyone to keep each other safe. I want everyone to come home from this. We leave in two hours."
 

[Dakota]

-snip- doing some reworking on this, will repost.

_______________________________________________________________
Characters
Sabre Fang
Dakota

[Bob Schroeck]

robkelk wrote:

---

Having seen only the original post in the thread (because that's all that exists so far), I'm sure that %[link=http://forums.sjgames.com/showthread.php?t=116543]this] is relevant here somehow.

You might want to pass on to that thread that back in 1996 I ran a GURPS Multigenre tournament at Dexcon that released Toons into a number of different settings -- culminating in the World of Darkness.  See way at the bottom of http://www.sjgames.com/in-nomine/digest ... /1-369.txt]this archive from SJG -- Beth McCoy mentions it, along with one of its crowning scenes, the defense of Count Chocula before the Prince of New York... by a Malkavian.
-- Bob
---------
Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.

[robkelk]

Done.
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[robkelk]

Satyrday Night Special: A cheaply-made wand which allows the wielder to cast a single low-powered offensive spell. Usually looked down upon by mages with "real" offensive spells, but popular with apprentices who've formed their own street gangs. Found in many urban-fantasy and secret-fantasy timelines.

(Shamelessly stealing the term from the Daz3D forums, but the writeup is mine.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[Foxboy]

Eljay grinned as he stroked the grip of his pistol. "My friend, this here 'shootin' iron' is called 'Prairie Mercy.'" He spun the cylinder and turned the gun around, presenting it to the local.
"You have five shots. Make them count, cause then I'll take my turn."
Edit: This represents my only published work, a magic item in Gurps Magic Items 3....
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[M Fnord]

Sometimes, needing more gun is the wrong solution to problems...

Nanoha expected any number of counterattacks or magical assaults. She even had a plan just in case the Convention woman pulled out that wicked-looking blade strapped to her hip. Unfortunately she was caught off-guard when instead of using the sword or a conventional combat spell or that freaky elemental magic, the woman lunged straight at her, bypassing most of Nanoha's defensive array and grabbed her by the front of her barrier jacket.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" The Conventioner screamed into Nanoha's shocked face. "CAN'T YOU FEEL THAT!? YOU'RE DESTABILIZING THE NEXUS! STOP FUCKING CASTING OR WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"

[Dartz]

His combat cyborg technology alone makes this worthwhile. Okay, I'll admit to being a little biased in that regard but such a fusion of biotechnology and magitechnology is so technically sweet we've got to do it. It'd be nice to be able to 'feel' again. I think we've a lot to offer - shelter from the TSAB for one. A few people don't think we can control him - like herding cats they say.

So, he's like a cat. Smug and certain in his aloof self-superiority. He goes where he thinks he wants and does what he thinks he wants to do. But, like a cat, he still needs things. A cat needs food, shelter, maybe some comfort.... provide these three things and the cat'll always come back. It'll purr at your feet to feed it during the day and keep the rats away at night.

I think we can control Jail Scaglietti. If we provide him with what he needs - and keep a tight reign on supply - he'll catch our rats.

________________________________
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?

[Rajvik]

"i wouldnt bet on that necesarily, you're dealing with someone akin to Tony Stark, if you dont give him what he wants, he'll use what you do give him to make what he wants.
 

[M Fnord]

No, I haven't forgotten or abandoned this, just a little low on the creative fire is all. Expanding on some things said previously...

Most people think that the Convention is where sidestepping started. They're not wholly right about that, if I am totally honest. Yes, Professor Griest's equations and devices are at the heart of modern sidestep tech yadda yadda. But here's the thing; handwavium crystals - those wonderful chunks of paranormal material on which the modern world is based - they were everywhere in the three or four years before Deidre rigged up a TV to talk to herself.

No, seriously. This is one of the things that gets glossed over in the big books about The History of Sidestepping, because when it went public Griest's crew were the ones to do it. Even then it stood to reason that if one person could figure out how to talk to the handwavium and get the necessary equations, then others could do it too. But nobody else came forward to claim prior discovery. Oh there were a bunch of people who confirmed Deidre's claims after the fact, but there were no researchers from governments, corporations or even other tinkerers who said they got there first.

I suppose that Deidre might've been the first - somebody has to be after all - but even she doesn't think that. Handwavium had been circulating in the wild since 2005, almost two years before she got her hands on it, and it only took her six months of work to get from zero to interdimensional television. The statistics don't quite add up. There should've been others, lots of others, who made at least partial breakthroughs before 2007.

So where are they?

The big brains in the planning departments figure that at least a hundred Homeliners figured out the Griest Equations and vanished between 2005 and 2007. That estimate is honestly probably a lowball one too, since most mad tinkerers recruit a crew once they get past the chalkboard stage. So when we hit a new timeline, we go looking. Not that we have a lot of luck, admittedly. At this point if somebody wants not to be found we aren't going to find them. But we look regardless, just in case there's a castaway who needs help.

Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"

[Rajvik]

Dont feel bad mal, my brain is running in to many directions
 

[M Fnord]

I'm still not done with this just yet. I can tell because I don't shell out money for art commissions on passing fancies. With that in mind, some artwork and an expanded biography of F&F,A.

(Art by John Peters, http://gypsygirlpress.com/]Gypsy Girl Press)

Malaclypse Fnord (originally Samuel Z. Wildman) started life as a lower-middle-class mountain kid in the small farming and tourist trap communities of south Park County, Colorado(1). He got a scholarship, went to college, met some people, graduated and prepared to settle into a comfortable life of general obscurity. Until one day, when an internet friend of his asked if he’d be interested in helping out on a project of hers. He agreed and never looked back. Taking his old net handle as nom de guerre, Malaclypse became part of the first cadre of sidesteppers, and it turned out he was really good at it too. Exposure to raw handwavium in the early days kickstarted something inside him and as time passed he also got pretty good with gadget-building, an invaluable skill when stuck in a cave with a bucket of scraps. A couple years into his career as a sidestepper Mal traveled to Timeline-017 in search of a dangerous magical artifact; in an Alexandrian tavern he met a wizard...

Athena Fnord (originally Athena Flavia Nepos) grew up in almost the same geographical area but a very different world. A native Vesperian(2) and a younger daughter of a minor branch of a middle-class merchant family, Athena inherited a genetic predisposition for magic use and the not-quite-superhuman strength and dexterity found in the common demigod(3). This surprised very few people, since if you looked at the family tree and added up all the heroic ancestors little Athena was just about 1/8th god. At the age of ten she was sent off to temple in order to learn how to use her gifts effectively. Upon reaching nominal adulthood at the age of 16 Athena chose to leave the temple and travel to the Old Empire as an adventurer. Ten years of hard adventuring later she had a reputation as a skilled fighting wizard and knew much of the old districts of Syria and Judea like the back of her hand, which drew the interest of a strange traveller looking for something in the Sinai desert…

The Vesperian sorceress and the outtimer artificer spent a month and a half in the desert, in a complex tale involving the (long-lost) Ark of the Covenant and a company’s worth of Time Nazis that’s a bit long to get into here. By the end of this adventure (the Ark safely restored to the Temple in Jerusalem, the Time Nazis thwarted and the overall safety of the multiverse ensured), Malaclypse and Athena found they worked pretty damn well together, and she agreed to go back to his home country. And so Fnord & Nepos, Acquisitions was born. By the end of their second adventure, they were pretty much inseparable. Within a year, they were married, and the dark forces of the multiverse learned to twitch involuntarily when Fnord & Fnord, Acquisitions showed up on their doorstep...

(1) Yes, the same place the cartoon is supposedly about.

(2) Codex: Vesperian
Vesperians are an ethnic group from Timeline-017 (IU designation ROMA FANTASTICA) who make up the dominant residents of the Vesperides (the local term for the continents of North and South America) and the Third Roman Empire. The ethnicity is largely pre-contact native (connecting Vesperians with Homeline First Nations tribes is difficult due to chronal divergence) with a degree of intermarriage between Europeans and Africans who were either part of the initial First Empire conquest or refugees fleeing the Wizard’s War and the collapse of the Second Empire. Culturally Vesperians have been largely assimilated into the Roman way of life, though many religious traditions survived and were incorporated into the Third Empire…

(3) Roma Fantastica is a twist on GURPS:IW’s Roma Aeterna, with the addition of high-fantasy D&D elements and some magic technology. Think Eberron with Romans. The gods - not just Roman but a bunch of other pantheons too - exist, and being the randy little bastards they are well… saying you’ve got divine lineage in Roma Fantastica is like saying you’re related to Charlemagne or Genghis Khan in Homeline: just about everybody is to one degree or another. Europe and the old Empire blew itself to hell about a century and a half before Mal and Athena meet, and the old Med basin is a magnet for professional adventurers. There’s other things going on too, but they’re not germaine to this post so if there’s questions I’ll do my best to answer them.

Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"

[Foxboy]

This version of Fenspace is probably closer to "publishable" really.... Not as much fun in some regards, though.

Eljay smiled at the stunning black Cob pony. 'Well, aren't you a Beauty?' He chuckled to himself. "How much do you want for this one, squire?"

"Twenty-five quid," the hostler said, perhaps too rapidly.

"Hmm. I don't think so." The American pointed at the pony's knees. "He's taken a tumble at some point and, unless I miss my guess his knees are going to give him trouble in a few years. Fifteen."

"Ere now, 'e's sound as anythin', 'e is! Got as much life ahead o' 'im as Methuselah! Twenty!"

Eljay points at the scars in the gelding's flanks. "The poor dobbin's been ridden hard by fools who don't know how to treat rented horseflesh. Who knows how many bad habit's I'll have to correct? Eighteen quid, sixpence, and that's my final offer."

"Right, right. Fair enough. Strewth, you drive a hard bargain." The hostler spit into his right palm and accepted the firm handshake from the new owner of the Earl of W-----'s coach horse.

"I'm a Yankee trader, came by it honestly."
''We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat
them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.''

-- James Nicoll

[robkelk]

Back at the start of our explorations, we let all the field agents and R&D staff translate things into English on their own. That meant different translations for the same things. We noticed when somebody - I think it was Ms. Curtis - asked whether "Amy Halloran of the Dimension Administration Bureau" and "Eimi Halowran of the Time-Space Administration Branch" might be the same person, and the group she works for might be a threat rather than an annoyance. We know now that they are the same person, the same group, and the same foreign power with a manifest destiny that gets in our way more often than not.

That's why Mr. Anderson started the Records Management Office. It's a minor division - we work with Explorer Corps, C-SEC, and R&D on a regular basis - but there's enough work for us to do and enough of us doing it that we fill 4% of the DragonCon Tower. RMO is a place for people who aren't cut out to be field agents, or C-SEC and Explorer Corps staff who are recovering from major injuries but want to remain active. While most of the work we do is rather boring, we have identified two Draka snakepits and a Centrum forward base just by running pattern-analysis routines on Corps reports. The top brass thinks we're doing a good job.

(This is a background element, unless somebody wants to tell stories about real-world-type intelligence agents... Hence the lack of detail.)
--
Rob Kelk
"Governments have no right to question the loyalty of those who oppose
them. Adversaries remain citizens of the same state, common subjects of
the same sovereign, servants of the same law."

- Michael Ignatieff, addressing Stanford University in 2012

[M Fnord]

Been a while... a long while... but this came up & I felt like sharing. Enjoy.

Unknown Worldline
16 April 2017 (Convention relative, 16 April XXXX local)

“So,” Buffy said cheerfully. “Tell me about vampires.”

Athena Nepos blinked. “I’d think you were the expert,” she replied.

“The ones around here sure, but you’ve traveled to all sorts of dimensions, right? What’re the vampires like there? Still the same kind of ugly bloodsuckers?”

“Well, sort of,” Athena said slowly. “Most of the vampires I’ve fought in the past were, well... let’s say that yours are easier to clean up after.”

“Huh, really?”

“Yeah. Vampires in my experience are, well, undead. Like zombies, right? So when you break the animating force they don’t just go poof like yours, you get stuck with a dead body, usually one that’s all chopped up depending on how long it takes to kill the bastard.”

“Oh ew. Ew. Ew ew ew.” Buffy made a face as Athena nodded in agreement.

“Cleanup’s the worst part of vampire fighting,” she scowled. “Especially when nobody bothered to tell the magistrate there was a vampire problem before hiring a vampire hunter, and then the magistrate and his full entourage – complete with sorcerer and a pair of heavy golems because ooh, scary war-witch in the area – show up swords drawn when you’re trying to put a pyre together and burn a nest of ex-vampires.”

“Wow,” Buffy said. “How’d that work out?”

“It’s a long story, but it ends along the lines of ‘and that’s why I’m no longer allowed in Cisalpine Gaul.’ Fucking ingrates.” Athena shook her head. “Maybe when I get drunk enough I’ll tell you more. Anyway, vampires... the self-cleaning ones are new to me, I’ll admit. Especially on a stake to the heart.”

Giles perked up. “Really?” he said. “Because ah, most of our literature would suggest that was a, ah universal constant among vampires, being defeated by shoving wood through the heart.”

“Well again, your vampires are different.” Athena shrugged. “Wood through the heart will slow the ones I’m used to down, even pin the wiggly bastards for the final blow but offing them in one throw? That’s new.”

“So how do you kill vampires back where you came from?” Buffy asked.

“Decapitation usually works. Fire always works on undead.” Athena smiled slightly. “That reminds me of a really weird vampire type we stumbled over a couple years ago...”

~***~

Worldline-664
13 July 2014 (Convention relative)

Stuck in an alleyway with three vampires. And the evening had started off so well.

Mal Fnord ducked a vicious swing from one of the trio, what seemed on first reflection to be a common example of sanguinivorus eurotrashius but as the fight wore on were obviously different to some extent. “Please continue,” the vampire snarked. “I do so love playing with my food.”

“Asshole!” Mal snarled, bringing his machete down on the vampire’s exposed neck. The blade cut a little, maybe a quarter-inch, before stopping with a strange metallic sound and a jarring motion. The vampire winced a little at the injury but didn’t seem otherwise affected.

On Mal’s back his wife saw a little more success with her enchanted gladius, scoring small nicks and cuts all over her target, but every time she tried to capitalize on her blows the damage healed. Inch by inch the pair were backed up towards the wall at the far end of the alley.

~***~

“The tricky bit,” Athena said, “was that the animating force had transformed the body from normal human tissue to some sort of crystal, and it was a regenerating crystal at that. Some really heavy magic behind it but I never did figure it out. Anyway, all the usual tricks weren’t working. Skin was too tough to cut easily, wood and religious artifacts had no effect, I needed to burn them but big fire spells take time and we didn’t really have any.”

“What did you do?”

“Well... oh hey, Mal!” Athena waved as her husband ambled up on the group of demon hunters. “I was just telling Buffy and Giles about the crystal vampires. Tell them how we defeated ‘em!”

“Oh,” Mal Fnord said with a smile. “I love that story. So there we were, hip-deep in trouble with three vampires closing on us...”

~***~

Worldline-664
13 July 2014 (Convention relative)

The vampires moved in for the kill slowly, taking every chance to savor the fear rolling off their prey. “You little stupid mortals thought you could kill us?” The lead vampire mocked. “You’re sheep among wolves.”

“Or hippos among wolves,” Mal said, pulling a gun out from under his coat and pointing it at the lead vampire’s chest. Behind him Athena concentrated on an area-of-effect fire spell that would maybe not kill the vampires but would get them to back off a little. “I’d say I don’t want to do this,” Mal remarked, “but that’s a damn lie.”

The vampires laughed in unison. “That’s adorable,” the leader said, spreading his arms wide. “Go ahead, shoot, fool. You can’t hurt me with your little popgun.”

Mal pulled the trigger on his laser pistol, letting fly a beam of coruscating energy that struck the vampire dead center of his bare chest. He’d hoped that the advanced weapon would maybe set a patch of skin afire, or maybe the force of the beam would crater the crystal in the vampire’s chest. Something that would startle them enough to back off the three seconds Athena needed for her spell.

Instead the vampire’s exposed skin flashed a brilliant red, and the creature had just enough time to wail before vanishing in a blast of light, flame and foul smoke. Dead silence settled over the alleyway as predator and prey tried to understand this new development. “Justin?” the vampire on the right said weakly, reaching out for the space his comrade had vacated.

Mal stood there, gobsmacked for a second. Then his looked at his gun with awe. “Oh my god, they explode.” he said. “My life has taken on new meaning.” He looked up at the shell-shocked vampires and aimed again. “Boo!”

The vampires screamed and ran for it. They just about made the entrance when Athena started lobbing fireballs.

Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"