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[Story] SanhedrinCon 2014/5774 Convention Report
[Story] SanhedrinCon 2014/5774 Convention Report
#1
Freaking plot bunnies making me write about space rabbis instead of the story that I'm actually trying to write.... 

Notes: Reb. is a common abbreviation of Rabbi. The Sanhedrin was the historical council of Rabbis that debated how to apply the Halakhah (jewish law) during the Diaspora in the absence of the Temple, the Judges, and the Kings. Treif means non-kosher. The Talmud is the collected debates of the Sanhedrin. The Jewish month of Adar I, 5774 was chosen because it starts on Feb 1st, 2014. Any other questions?
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SanhedrinCon 2014/5774 Convention Report, Prepared by Rebbe Rebbeka Buchler. 

SanhedrinCon 2014/5774 (Kandor City Convention Center, Kandor City, Luna) opened on Feb 4/4th Adar I with a Serious Question – who provided the decaf coffee? (1) The culprit was found to be Reb. Yeshuah ben Elizar, who was removed from hospitality staff for providing a treif drink. (2) 

(1)As Reb. J. Alvarez asked, “Is this stuff even kosher?”
(2)As Reb. A. Rosen argued “The primary indicator of coffee, other than its origin, is not its flavor, because otherwise flavored coffees, creamers, sweeteners, and other additives would be treif in the context of coffee. It is the caffeine content that is the primary indicator and use of coffee, meaning that decaf coffee is either treif or a crime against humanity.” (2a)
(2a) The only exception is in cases where the drinker is either allergic or sensitive to caffeine. Our prayers go out to those poor souls. 

The Rabbinical Convention then split into several debate tracks, which were:
Admin – Panels dealing with the administration of the Con.
Hypotheticals – Halakhah in the context of theoretical technologies.
Practicals – Exceptions to and enforcement of the Halakhah in the context of living in space.
Wavium – How does Handwavium interact with the Halakhah?
Old Arguments – Rehashing the Talmud.
Silly – Rabbis! IN! SPAAACE! (3)
Holies – Run only on Shabbos and Erev Shabbos. The services for Shabbos, including mandatory post-lunch naps.
Misc – Everything Else. 

(3) Actual quote from the official program. 

Below are selected debates that passed the Rabbinical Vote with no dissenting arguments (4). 

(4) That actually argued against them. As Reb. K. Dayan argued, “Fnord, while coherent, is not a logical argument”. For this, Reb. Dayan was given the the Badge Ribbon “No Fun Allowed – SRZ BIZNZZ”. 

On 6th Adar I, in the Admin tracks, a debate was the extension of the Convention from its original dates of 4th-10th Adar I. As it was a dead month for the Convention Center, the moving of closing ceremonies to 27th Adar I (5) was granted after a brief Kickstarter campaign. (6) 

(5) To give the Rebbim enough time to get home for Shabbos.
(6) The extra time was determined to be required to allow for debates and votes on the debates. 

On 7th Adar I, a Practicalities debate granted permission to attending Rabbis to lead Shabbos services via the Internet (7), as long as they did so from THE MOON (8). 

(7) As Reb. J. Alvarez said, “We're stuck here until the Con ends, we have modern technology, and we're on THE MOON.” (8)
(8) Full capitalization of THE MOON was determined to be required by the Halakhah of Drama. 

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Additional parts will be posted as I write them.
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#2
It's good to see that the Jewish community has embraced the serious, no-nonsense spirit of Fenspace.
Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
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#3
M Fnord Wrote:It's good to see that the Jewish community has embraced the serious, no-nonsense spirit of Fenspace.
Compared to what I've read of the Talmud, this is going to be tame.
SanhedrinCon 5775/2015 is where things get really insane... The JewPope of THE MOON gets elected, for one thing.
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#4
...Are we going to get the Mogen David-shaped spacecraft from the end of The History of the World, Part I out of this? I'd pay good biomass for that...
-- Bob
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Then the horns kicked in...
...and my shoes began to squeak.
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