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[Open]When Fox news comes calling..
[Open]When Fox news comes calling..
from: Gunbunny_Chicago92
to: rec.fen.firearms
Subj: I'm sure you've seen the news from Illinois State by now.

Oh no, not Again... that was my first thought.

But it gets worse. My phone goes off in the middle of the night. The number's one from home, so I answer it without thinking.

"This is Jennifer Feeler from Fox 9 News. How does it feel to know that one of your guns was used to kill 8 people?"

And it hits me in the face like.

I mean...

What the fuck am I supposed to say to that?

I don't even sell full guns to the Danelaw, so I don't know how it got there and now it feels like a whole goddamn country is accusing me of pulling the trigger myself as if that herostrat fuck couldn't have found an armalite in his local gun-store.

Checked with the ATF, I spoke with the agent directly. The serial's in my books, it's registered with the Patrol and it's genuine. I know who bought it and when, and when I tested it. Firmware on the targeter's the original. It's one of mine alright.

I really don't know what to say or do.

No matter what, it'll be the wrong thing, but doing nothing feels so wrong.
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
from: axecrazy.loligoth
to: rec.fen.firearms
Subj: Re: I'm sure you've seen the news from Illinois State by now.

Okay kid, you're dealing with some of the most contemptible lifeforms in the history of modern media: local TV news. Nothing, and I mean *nothing* can be lower, meaner or baser than a local network affiliate in hot pursuit of a ratings-worthy scoop. We're talking below the bar set by Fox fucking News here, this is so low. The fact that they somehow sussed your home phone and called at fuck-you-thirty o'clock to harass you about it says volumes about the quality of people you're dealing with. Normally I'd be the one drilling down on some unsuspecting asshole's face but I've never liked local news to begin with so here's some free advice:

1) No comment. In these situations, no comment isn't your friend but it'll pretend to be long enough for the jackals to back off. If they're going to jump on you like the clickbait-seeking shitheads they are, this will at least keep you from sticking your foot in it.

2) We are cooperating with the investigation. This is true, and honestly you *are* cooperating since you'd like to know how this shitbird got hold of one of your fucking handcannons, right? It'll also direct the media to go annoy the local yokels and the Patrol, or stage a sit-in at the consulate or what the fuck ever.

3) Get an attorney and/or a press agent, then direct any further questions to them. These assholes shouldn't be calling you at all hours so they can pretend to be Baba Wawa. In a horrible breach of ethics that I couldn't give the least fuck about, ping me privately & I'll give you a list of smart people who can be trusted for this shit.

If all else fails, call me. I'll tell Katze to fire up the pirate transmitters and we'll get your side out.

Mr. Fnord interdimensional man of mystery

FenWiki - Your One-Stop Shop for Fenspace Information

"I. Drink. Your. NERDRAGE!"
from: greentrees
to: rec.fen.firearms
Subj: Re: I'm sure you've seen the news from Illinois State by now.

axecrazy.loligoth is entirely correct.

Say as little as possible. Do not let them into your property. Do not let them attempt to make a purchase themselves. DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.

They are not looking for Truth. They are looking for Blood. They want Someone To Blame. Anything you say, including nothing, they will construe as an admission of guilt.

They are not entitled to your business records, your social life, or any other aspect of anything you do. They will insist that "the public has a right to know". They don't care about the public. They care about ripping your life apart for their own profit.

Take a.l's advice: get a lawyer and a press agent and turn them loose on the moonbat. Email me and I'll send you references to a few I've had cause to work with in the past.

Sucrose Octanitrate.
Proof positive that with sufficient motivation, you can make anything explode.
from: Gunbunny_Chicago92
to: rec.fen.firearms

I'd appreciate the references. Mail's sent. Use that account and not my business one. I've just stopped looking at it.

In the meantime, I closed the website. Our local cyberpunk made it look like a static page because of an overload or something. I'm telling everyone to talk to law enforcement because really, they know more than me when I only found out when you called me.

I know how to deal with the cops. I've been a bounty hunter long enough. If the Patrol do show up, my books are legal. First thing I checked. I've spent the last three hours going through them and getting things in order while telling myself it's not my fault because I didn't pull the trigger.

I can't control what people do with my stuff after they buy it. I followed the law, did all the checks, chip-tagged the frame and I documented it because I'm not stupid. And then it got sold and sald again and somehow ended up in a crowded mall two years later. Unfortunately I can't make a gun smart enough to realise it's not being aimed at the enemy. I don't think anyone can.

Before any of that, I'm trying to get in touch with my mom first. If they can't get me she's the next best thing.

Then figure out what to actually say. What can you say about a massacre?
--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
From: OldManTom
To: rec.fen.firearms

My son thought you'd want to see the statement Great Justice are releasing for the evening news:

"The Fenspace Convention Security Service has been made aware of this tragic episode through Interpol and the US Federal Bureau of Investigation. Our investigation is currently ongoing and the manufacturer of the weapon is cooperating fully. It is our understanding that the weapon used was one of a large batch purchased by an importer based in the United States and subsequently sold to a number of federally-licensed firearms dealers. There is absolutely no evidence that Ford's Heavy Arms Incorporated or its owner violated any US or Convention law."

On a related note, expect someone from Space Patrol to stop by with a search warrant for the sales records. They're also going to need to take statements from you and your sales staff.

And I just want to make it clear here, in a public forum, that nobody at Great Justice or our colleagues in Space Patrol thinks you were in any way to blame for this. Anyone who's ever bought a weapon from you directly will testify that the perpetrator of this shooting would never have got past your vetting process.

From: OldManTom
To: Gunbunny_Chicago92

It might not be connected at all, but I think you ought to know you're not the only arms manufacturer in Fenspace whose hardware has been linked to crimes down on Earth. In fact it's happened often enough that we think there's an organised effort to have them fall off the back of a truck somewhere along the line. Would you be so kind as to pass that fact along to Sylia next time you two bump into each other? I suspect we're going to have trouble putting a stop to it through official channels now the yellow press are sticking their collective oar in.
from: Gunbunny_Chicago92
to: rec.fen.firearms
Subj: RE: I'm sure you've seen the news from Illinois State by now.

It's one thing to know it, and another thing to feel it. It's just the shock. You build a weapon, you have to expect it'll be used for more than shooting at paper targets. I can't control that and I know it.

My partner's getting my mom out. They started bothering her when they couldn't get to me.

The books for Ford's Heavyarms are OK. So long as Minnie May keeps her trap shut we should be ok.

I still don't like the idea of cops getting into my stuff. the Chicago PD has left me bitter and cynical.

From: Gunbunny_Chicago92
To: OldManTom

The arrived an hour ago.

It didn't take them long to see that my books are legal.

It didnt take them much longer to find what they were looking for. Dixieme Buereau are like that. The law's like that.

Some things left over from the Boskone war are technically illegal, despite sitting on display on a shelf for years. Well, we can deal with this, or you can help us deal with that....

--m(^0^)m-- Wot, no sig?
From: OldManTom
To: Gunbunny_Chicago92

*sigh* I'll take care of it. But keep any souvenirs you don't want to properly deactivate stored on Frigga from now on, okay? Her Ladyship's responsibilities include raising troops in time of war anyway, so you're probably only in trouble for not filling out the proper paperwork, and I'm sure I can persuade them to NFA that on the grounds it was an honest mistake.

I'll have them fax you the necessary forms to fill in. Make sure you have enough paper. Wink
from: MHIquickdraw to: rec.fen.firearms Subj: RE: I'm sure you've seen the news from Illinois State by now.

My advice - DON'T PANIC!

Highly recommended - if you're getting involved in an ATF investigation, try and work with Peter Gwaltney. He's Good People, knows the difference between a shooter and a producer as well as how to get the more chip-on-my-shoulder-about-Fen types to back off. Helped us at Mishima cut through the bureaucrap when a shipment of ACRs somehow ended up in cartel hands last year.

Also, don't worry about many politicians trying to use you as a target - if there's one good thing the NRA's lawyers are good at, it's raring up at any sign of a politico going after a gun maker/seller/owner. Seriously, in the U.S. gun rights are up there with Social Security and minority rights as a third rail of American politics.

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