Arc 41612: Cast a Long Shadow

[firvulag]

Arc Name: Cast a Long Shadow

Arc ID: 41612

Morality: Heroic

Creator: @Hexane

Difficulty Level: Moderate (?)

Synopsis:Help the Legacy Chain hunt down a new cult that has arisen in Paragon City.

--

This procedure presumably relies on some kind of electromagnetic

transmission (since magic isn't an option). -- Alice Faber

[Matrix Dragon]

Well, I gave it four stars. Good, but in need of some minor repairs really. Mission one seemed alright, if extremely short. In fact, given it doesn't add
anything to the arc except some Tsoo to fight, I have to wonder if it's needed.

Mission Two had a few minor spelling mistakes in the rescue dialogue of the siblings.

Mirror Guardian Naoko: Oh, thank you. We've got to hurry, they were talking to removing some books they had here.

I think that should be 'talking about removing'

Mirror Knight Hiroshi: Oh thank you. We have to hurry, my br... sister is somewhere furnter in.

Should be 'further in'

Also, the arcane bookshelf seemed a little out of place. Perhaps a desk, with the chat window text noting you find a book on it?

Mission 3 is where the little problems start to really add up. For instance, when you rescue Darren, there should really be a chat note or a dialogue box
explaining to the player that the demon has appeared, if not a clue. As it was, that mission was sparse on details.

This was a problem that continued into Mission 4, where there were no clues at all, and the dialogue could be scarce. It wasn't until after the mission I
realized that the mirror was gone and the Third Shadow wasn't actually sealed again. Also, the nav bar mission objectives just say 'Mirror Guardian
Naoko' and such. You might want to stick 'Rescue' on the start of that comment, so that it makes sense.

Mirror Guardian Naoko: Thanks, but we have to hurry the ceremony has started.

Just stick a comma after 'hurry'.

Then there's Third Shadow. You might want to check his spawn details, because the moment I did some damage, he started running away. Also, I don't
think he has any ranged attacks. My flying blaster took him apart with virtually no damage in return.

One final complaint. Copy the souvenir text out of AE and stick it in Word or something. You've got more then a few spelling errors in there, and you
REALLY need to add some paragraphs.

I know I'm sounding negative, but those flaws did grab my attention. I liked the story, and the custom enemy group was fun, and actually put me on the
defensive a few times. Giving them all proper bios was welcome. So yeah... Good arc, but it needs a little bit of repair work.

[firvulag]

First, thanks for the review, and for reminding me why I need to proof everything I write.

I've added a battle between the cult and Tsoo in the first mission, hopefully that will tie things in more, and I've added a few references to
Cly's summoning in the third mission so it shouldn't be a surprise. I've also modified Naoko and Hiroshi's dialog in the 4th mission, to give
some idea of what's happening, hopefully that will help, as I'm at 100% size.

Both you and Rev have mentioned that 3rd ran in his fight, but I can't figure out why that's happening. He's not set to run away at all. Of
course it might be the flying. I'm not certain how to handle that, his PC version is an Axe/Shield Brute and changing his sets kind of ruins that. Maybe
I should give him a flight power, hmmm.

Anyway updated arc ID is 50206

--

"I also need a longer attention sp- Ooh! Feet!" -- Loz Pycock

[Sweno]

ok, I ran the longer version. A few notes as I go along:

Hiroshi doesn't have a 'I lost you' text blurb, so it's hard to know if I've outpaced him.

A little annoying, but currently unavoidable, Naoko Detention Field's people

The missions are jumping between 40 and 50 as the levelcap

on mission #3, the battles between the guards (and whomever they are fighting) start right away, so by the time I get there, one side is dead.

But aside from that it's fun
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

[Acyl]

Hex, I'm kinda puzzled here. You've got one version uploaded as 50208 and one as 50206. Did you double-upload by accident?

...did you need to take down the original in the first place? You can edit an already published arc, and it'll keep the original number and existing
ratings. o_o/
-- Acyl

[firvulag]

Acyl: Weird, there was only one published when I logged off last night. And the reason I took down the original is because the first time I edited it after
Sky's play through there ended up being two copies. the original and the edited version. This lead me to believe that I couldn't edit a story once it
had been published.

Sweno: Would the 'lost' text be more helpful in the 2nd or 4th mission? I've only got the space for one right now. I've tried getting the
battle in the third mission to wait for the player, but the only things that currently exist to trigger it should happen after it (rescue and defeat Cly). It
should in theory wait for you to get close enough before starting by default, but that doesn't seem to work.

I've also swapped the private security for PPD in the 3rd mission which bumps the level cap back up to 54 but as for the first mission, I wanted a mystical
group to be crossing the paths of the cult. The various Croatoans, the Pantheon and the Thorns weren't active at the right times or involved with the
right areas of the world. They, and the various Rularuu also have their own, fairly tightly defined back stories. The Tsoo have a vague enough back story,
are connected with the right part of the world, and have the highest level cap of remaining mystical groups. Maybe I could use the Carnies, but they don't
seem to fit. I suppose I could cut the first mission entirely, which would give me more room for clues and dialog in the others

--

"Should we stop him?"

"No I think he's boring the random encounters away."

-- Fighter and Thief, 8-bit Theater

[Sweno]

well if you don't have room for the 'I've lost you' text, don't worry. I only think that those things are mandatory in escort missions, and
in both of your missions they are simply helpers.

In regards to the level caps: can you cap the whole thing to 40? I don't mind fighting at a lower level, it's just a bit disorienting to bounce back
and forth between 40 and 50.
-Terry
-----
"so listen up boy, or pornography starring your mother will be the second worst thing to happen to you today"
TF2: Spy

[firvulag]

While there is an indicator at the bottom of the custom group screen showing what ranges you have NPCs in, but there doesn't seem to be a way to affect
that. If I had the space I could drop ambushes of standard groups that don't need to be completed into all the 54 capped missions to drag the cap down.

--

"Everyone who drives faster than me is an idiot and everyone who drives

slower is a moron." - George Carlin