Written after I half-jokingly suggested it, and Terr thought it was a good idea. 
(get the 'zomg dis eez just a farm!' complaints from people off his back, at least)
Suggested 'Story For The Sake Of Story!!' Text:
Mission Introduction Dialog:
Hey, you...you're a hero, right? I hope you are, anyway. I mean, with that getup you're wearing, it's either you're a hero or I gotta arrest you for crimes against fashion.
Huh, $name? Never heard of ya. Enh, whatever. Guess you can't all be Statesman. You'll do. See, we have a problem.
Y'know how everyone's talking about the 5th Column coming back? And I'm sure you've heard the rumors 'bout how they have a base waaaay back in the past? Around the time of ancient Rome?
Right, see, there's been a bit of a mix-up. Apparently the 5th Column were supposed to return today. But they had an accident with their time travel thingy, and...well, they kinda sent a bunch of Romans through instead.
So instead of fascist stormtroopers, we got Romans in Paragon City. Guess who's the lucky hero who gets to beat 'em up send 'em home?
Mission Accept Text: Who, me?
Mission Send-Off Dialog:
Yeah. Congratulations, you're our lucky winner.
We've tracked our lost Romans down. Looks like they've moved into the Hollows. Which isn't surprising, really. Half the frickin' gangs in the city are there, what's one more? Go into the tunnels and clean 'em out.
You might wanna bring some friends, though. We asked a history geek at the university, see. These guys are supposed to be some kinda Elite Legion. Personal guards of some dude named Romulus. Apparently the black armor's distinctive.
And here I was thinking they were just extra emo. Whatever. Go get 'em. Just don't die. I might lose my badge or something.
Still Busy:
Look, get going already. Those Romans aren't gonna beat themselves up, y'know.
Yeah, they're Italian. But this isn't a pizza place. They don't do delivery.
Return Success Dialog:
Huh. You're alive? Er...I mean, of course you are, yeah. I had complete faith in you, and absolutely positively was not running a betting pool with my fellow police officers about whether you'd survive. Nope, I was backing you one hundred percent, absolutely.
I suppose we'd better see about getting these Romans back to their own time. Wouldn't wanna mess up history or anything. I'm not sure how we'll send these guys into the past, but we'll figure something out.
Though if you happen to see a flying phone booth, police box, or car, lemme know, okay?
* * *
-- Acyl
(get the 'zomg dis eez just a farm!' complaints from people off his back, at least)
Suggested 'Story For The Sake Of Story!!' Text:
Mission Introduction Dialog:
Hey, you...you're a hero, right? I hope you are, anyway. I mean, with that getup you're wearing, it's either you're a hero or I gotta arrest you for crimes against fashion.
Huh, $name? Never heard of ya. Enh, whatever. Guess you can't all be Statesman. You'll do. See, we have a problem.
Y'know how everyone's talking about the 5th Column coming back? And I'm sure you've heard the rumors 'bout how they have a base waaaay back in the past? Around the time of ancient Rome?
Right, see, there's been a bit of a mix-up. Apparently the 5th Column were supposed to return today. But they had an accident with their time travel thingy, and...well, they kinda sent a bunch of Romans through instead.
So instead of fascist stormtroopers, we got Romans in Paragon City. Guess who's the lucky hero who gets to beat 'em up send 'em home?
Mission Accept Text: Who, me?
Mission Send-Off Dialog:
Yeah. Congratulations, you're our lucky winner.
We've tracked our lost Romans down. Looks like they've moved into the Hollows. Which isn't surprising, really. Half the frickin' gangs in the city are there, what's one more? Go into the tunnels and clean 'em out.
You might wanna bring some friends, though. We asked a history geek at the university, see. These guys are supposed to be some kinda Elite Legion. Personal guards of some dude named Romulus. Apparently the black armor's distinctive.
And here I was thinking they were just extra emo. Whatever. Go get 'em. Just don't die. I might lose my badge or something.
Still Busy:
Look, get going already. Those Romans aren't gonna beat themselves up, y'know.
Yeah, they're Italian. But this isn't a pizza place. They don't do delivery.
Return Success Dialog:
Huh. You're alive? Er...I mean, of course you are, yeah. I had complete faith in you, and absolutely positively was not running a betting pool with my fellow police officers about whether you'd survive. Nope, I was backing you one hundred percent, absolutely.
I suppose we'd better see about getting these Romans back to their own time. Wouldn't wanna mess up history or anything. I'm not sure how we'll send these guys into the past, but we'll figure something out.
Though if you happen to see a flying phone booth, police box, or car, lemme know, okay?
* * *
-- Acyl